My Journey from Hell to Heaven Through Suicide with Tamara Laroux

My Journey from Hell to Heaven Through Suicide with Tamara Laroux

Fifteen, Tamara could only see death as an escape to pain. One day she shot herself in the chest. What happened while she was dying will shake you to your soul. Listen as Tamara tells her story of what she experienced on this day. Hear about her book "A Second Chance at Heaven" to help others who are facing homelessness, suicide, and pain.

33 Minutes • 2 months ago

Episode Notes

Greenelines with

Dr. Steve Greene

Guest: Tamara Laroux

At 15, Tamara Laroux could only see death as an escape to pain. One day she shot herself in the chest. What happened while she was dying will shake you to your soul.

Listen as Tamara tells her story of what she experienced on this day. Hear about her book A Second Chance at Heaven to help others who are facing homelessness, suicide, and pain.

Introduction

Dr. Steve Greene: Having spent a large majority of my life in academics, I’ve had to go to a few funerals. I had to see empty chairs at high school graduations and college graduations with a rose in it, signifying that someone has passed away, has gone on, I hope, to be with the Lord. Most of those, sad to report, were due to suicides. I have experienced that just recently in in the town we’re living in now where a young lady who saw no other way out but to take her own life, and she was successful. It breaks my heart and there’s not any of us that are in this podcast or you’re listening now, that probably haven’t had experiences from people you know who have struggled and have successfully ended their lives. How many others are on the brink? I’ve worked with child psychologists, youth psychologists who talk about these things and teach us to look for the signs because I wanted to know it was coming. I wanted to be able to do something even for those who couldn’t cry out for help. We have a guest today and author and experienced person in a way that will maybe shock you and will, for sure, enlighten you and inform you. Her name is Tamara Laroux. She’s written a book called A Second Chance at Heaven: My Surprising Journey Through Hell, Heaven and Back to Life. I’m excited to welcome Tamara Laroux to our podcast.

Tamara Laroux: Thank you so much, Dr. Greene, for this opportunity to have a voice on such a sensitive subject as suicide. It’s certainly not a fun subject or one that most people want to approach.

Dr. Steve Greene: Yet if we don’t, how much worse can youth suicides go? They are at epidemic stage now.

Tamara Laroux: You know they are. I typically don’t like to use statistics, but it’s so important that people realize right now that it’s the fourth leading cause of death from ages 18 to 65. It is horrendous.

Dr. Steve Greene: It’s every age group, but particularly in youth. Eighth grade through high school, I’m hearing so many reports that it just continues to climb.

Tamara Laroux Books

·         A Second Chance at Heaven: My Surprising Journey Through Hell, Heaven and Back to Life.

·         Delivered

Tamara Laroux; It is climbing and there is a numerous amount of social media and movies that are popping up everywhere. They’re actually encouraging the behavior and it is devastating to me, especially because of what I’ve gone through and being a student of Scripture. It is near and dear to my heart that people know the truth over opinion and even over theology.

Dr. Steve Greene: Let’s get right to the story because it’s so powerful, one that very few people get to talk about because they don’t live through it and yet you did. So, tell us what happened. And in your words, what the Lord showed you through that experience?

On CBN News

·         Tamara Laroux: Surviving a Suicide Attempt

·         Tamara Laroux: Out of This World

Tamara Laroux: I grew up in a typical American family. We were middle class family. My parents had been divorced and both were remarried. Looking from the outside in, I had everything. I had a good home, a good family. But on the inside, I was empty. I was lonely. I had gone through rejection and abandonment, not foreign to what almost all of us go through at some time in our life. But going through these things, I had entered into a vicious cycle where I was in a place to where I was just empty on the inside. I had this void and this hole. It didn’t matter, the relationships in my life, it didn’t matter what I attempted to do, how I attempted to escape it. There was no escaping the emptiness. As a young girl, as a teen, I believed that no matter how old I got, or how much knowledge I gained, nothing would take that void out of me. So, I went to the unthinkable. I went to down the road of suicide, thinking that this will end my pain. This will be the escape. I went down that journey and made a decision to take my own life.

Dr. Steve Greene: Before we get there, were you churched? Were you going to church as a young girl?

Tamara Laroux: As a young girl, my grandmother, thank God for praying grandmothers, right? She would take me to church, and so I would go to church, but I didn’t go regularly. I would go with her on and off. I believed in God, I knew God was real. I believe that God was a good God, a loving God and he was too good and loving to allow me to go to hell because he understood where I was. He understood my pain. And a good God wouldn’t do that. That was my belief. That was my thinking. I was 15.

Dr. Steve Greene: OK. Younger than normal, but not these days. They’re starting at this age or younger. So, it came to that day. How many days did you think about it before you attempted to take your life?

Tamara Laroux: This is what is perplexing to many people. I didn’t. I didn’t sit around and contemplate suicide for long periods of time. It is unusual. That day, it was just that day. I was like, I’m done. I just made a decision that day that I’m just I’m done.

Dr. Steve Greene: What did you do?

Tamara Laroux: I went home from school, and I got my mother’s 38-caliber gun. The whole time I was crying out for God to forgive me because I knew enough to know that once I had completed my mission I couldn’t ask for forgiveness. So, the last ray of hope that I had was maybe God would forgive me. So, I cried out for forgiveness. It was a continual cry for God to forgive me. I went and I got my mom’s 38-caliber gun and went in and I locked myself into the bathroom. I took the gun and I placed it at my head. I heard this voice telling me take the gun away from your head and point it at your heart. I was like, no. It was like I was arguing with somebody like I’m not going to do this. This is over, I’m done. I don’t want to live. I was so lacking in hope that I did not even want even a chance of survival. That’s where I was. So, I had this vision and this vision encouraged me to take to take the gun and point it at my chest. That’s what I did. I took the gun and I pointed it at my chest. When I did, I knew that I had accomplished my mission. Because when that gun went off, I could literally feel my body dying. I could feel my lungs being filled. I could no longer hear or see. I knew without a doubt, I was dying. And all of a sudden, my soul left my body and I began traveling very rapidly. I felt it. I saw it. I could see myself leaving my body. I felt myself leaving my body. There was no doubt that my soul was now going into eternity.

Dr. Steve Greene: At that moment, did you want to go back? Did you feel like, what have I done?

Tamara Laroux: Not at that moment. Not initially. But very quickly I did. Because time doesn’t exist. So, it was like time completely stopped. I began falling and falling and falling. Then it’s like I landed, I came to my destination and I knew I was no longer in control. I knew those decisions were completely out of my control. I had already made my decision. When I landed in this place, I just erupted immense pain and torment. It was like an acidic burn from the inside out and the outside in. It was like there was a fire hose of wind just pouring over every molecule of my soul. I could do is scream and complete agony. I realized at that moment, that all of the pain, all of the suffering that I was trying to escape had been completely made full. So, I was in complete torment. I was in complete isolation, in complete loneliness. I knew, without any doubt, that the reason why my torment was so intense and so severe, was because I was away from the presence of God, completely and utterly separated from God’s presence. My knowledge was made full. I didn’t have to guess, I didn’t have to learn. Everything I wanted to know all I had to do is think about. So, there was no question. It wasn’t left to my opinion or my imagination.

Dr. Steve Greene: And so there you were Tell me more. Did you have any thoughts? Obviously you were without a brain at this moment.

Tamara Laroux: Right, and that’s what you know is so amazing because you don’t need a physical body. Your soul is overlaid on top of your body. But I had my mind, I had my will. I still was who I am. I was just absent of my physical body. I was in complete torment. I could look around and I saw a sea of people, millions of people, too many people to count. They were close beside me, but we were not allowed to communicate. We were in complete isolation, but yet I could look at them. This one particular person I was looking at. I knew everything about them. I knew every sin they had ever committed. Their lives were completely transparent just like my life was completely transparent. I knew every thought they thought. I knew everything that sin they had ever committed.

Dr. Steve Greene: Does it look like a person?

Tamara Laroux: Yeah, they do. They look just like you and I without a body. It’s a transparency that’s there and it’s very difficult to explain outside of the physical realm. We weren’t bound by the physical laws of earth. So, it’s very different. But we were, we were in constant remorse. I was constantly screaming out and forgiveness. I knew that I was there not because of  just suicide. I was there because I had not surrendered my heart in my life to Jesus Christ.

Dr. Steve Greene: So you had a pretty good idea were in hell.

Tamara Laroux: Oh, there was no doubt. There was no doubt that I was in hell. There was no place in like that because of the absence of God. So, all of those scriptures, the second death, death is the absence of God. It’s the fullness and it’s complete torture because God is good. He is the patient one, He is the loving kindness, He is the goodness, He is the joy, and so completely separated from Him, it’s not the opposite. It’s the absence. So, I’m screaming out, God forgive me. I’m going over everything in my mind, every sin I had ever committed, and the remorse and the regret, and the torment is there. It doesn’t matter. All that mattered was that Christ was Lord and I rejected him. It wasn’t I didn’t have knowledge of Him. I knew Him. I knew who he was. It was that I didn’t submit my heart to Him. There’s a complete difference. Yes. That reality was what was going constantly and I knew it would never end. So, I was screaming out, Lord God, send someone back to the earth to tell them the truth that will be bold enough to tell people the truth, that this is reality, that their purpose is to worship you, to praise you, to honor you, because you are the Great I Am. Yes. And, and that was what was coming out of me and was like, oh my God, send someone back to tell them that this place of torment is very real. And you are a good God.

Dr. Steve Greene: I gotta get you out of hell. You’ve been in hell way too long here. Let’s get you out of there. How did you make that transition? What happened next?

Tamara Laroux: So, as I’m screaming these things out, you know, you’re a good God, but tell people the truth and I’m screaming out in forgiveness. There was just this presence of God that came. It was like this hand just came down and scooped me up. Instantly, all of my suffering was gone. All of my pain, all of my loneliness, all of my emptiness was just dissipated. I was completely whole. I began traveling fast again, faster than the speed of light. And I left hell. I went over this great expanse, and crossed over into the presence of God were Heaven is. I wasn’t allowed to stay. But it was like I flew over and I was being cleansed. And yet, I was engulfed in God’s presence. I realized and I knew that everything I was lacking with Him, it was him. It was His presence.

For the rest of Dr. Greene’s interview with Tamara Laroux, please click here.

 

Connect with Tamara Laroux

·         On Facebook

·         On Twitter

·         At lifechangeintl.com

 

Greenelines Host Information

Dr. Steve Greene is the Publisher and Executive Vice President of Charisma Media. Dr. Greene received his Ph.D. in marketing from Memphis State University. He has worked in television station management and worked directly with over 80 stations throughout the United States. He has worked in marketing capacities with McDonald’s, Jiffy Lube, and Stanley Steemer. He has owned restaurants, a national advertising agency and a syndicated marketing research firm. Dr. Greene has served as the Dean of the College of Business and professor of marketing at Oral Roberts University. He is also the author of Love Leads, which dispels the myths and misconceptions many have come to accept about leadership.

To learn more about Dr. Steve Greene, connect with him on social media!

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drsgreene/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrSteveGreene

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.stevegreene/

Episode Notes

Greenelines with

Dr. Steve Greene

Guest: Tamara Laroux

At 15, Tamara Laroux could only see death as an escape to pain. One day she shot herself in the chest. What happened while she was dying will shake you to your soul.

Listen as Tamara tells her story of what she experienced on this day. Hear about her book A Second Chance at Heaven to help others who are facing homelessness, suicide, and pain.

Introduction

Dr. Steve Greene: Having spent a large majority of my life in academics, I’ve had to go to a few funerals. I had to see empty chairs at high school graduations and college graduations with a rose in it, signifying that someone has passed away, has gone on, I hope, to be with the Lord. Most of those, sad to report, were due to suicides. I have experienced that just recently in in the town we’re living in now where a young lady who saw no other way out but to take her own life, and she was successful. It breaks my heart and there’s not any of us that are in this podcast or you’re listening now, that probably haven’t had experiences from people you know who have struggled and have successfully ended their lives. How many others are on the brink? I’ve worked with child psychologists, youth psychologists who talk about these things and teach us to look for the signs because I wanted to know it was coming. I wanted to be able to do something even for those who couldn’t cry out for help. We have a guest today and author and experienced person in a way that will maybe shock you and will, for sure, enlighten you and inform you. Her name is Tamara Laroux. She’s written a book called A Second Chance at Heaven: My Surprising Journey Through Hell, Heaven and Back to Life. I’m excited to welcome Tamara Laroux to our podcast.

Tamara Laroux: Thank you so much, Dr. Greene, for this opportunity to have a voice on such a sensitive subject as suicide. It’s certainly not a fun subject or one that most people want to approach.

Dr. Steve Greene: Yet if we don’t, how much worse can youth suicides go? They are at epidemic stage now.

Tamara Laroux: You know they are. I typically don’t like to use statistics, but it’s so important that people realize right now that it’s the fourth leading cause of death from ages 18 to 65. It is horrendous.

Dr. Steve Greene: It’s every age group, but particularly in youth. Eighth grade through high school, I’m hearing so many reports that it just continues to climb.

Tamara Laroux Books

·         A Second Chance at Heaven: My Surprising Journey Through Hell, Heaven and Back to Life.

·         Delivered

Tamara Laroux; It is climbing and there is a numerous amount of social media and movies that are popping up everywhere. They’re actually encouraging the behavior and it is devastating to me, especially because of what I’ve gone through and being a student of Scripture. It is near and dear to my heart that people know the truth over opinion and even over theology.

Dr. Steve Greene: Let’s get right to the story because it’s so powerful, one that very few people get to talk about because they don’t live through it and yet you did. So, tell us what happened. And in your words, what the Lord showed you through that experience?

On CBN News

·         Tamara Laroux: Surviving a Suicide Attempt

·         Tamara Laroux: Out of This World

Tamara Laroux: I grew up in a typical American family. We were middle class family. My parents had been divorced and both were remarried. Looking from the outside in, I had everything. I had a good home, a good family. But on the inside, I was empty. I was lonely. I had gone through rejection and abandonment, not foreign to what almost all of us go through at some time in our life. But going through these things, I had entered into a vicious cycle where I was in a place to where I was just empty on the inside. I had this void and this hole. It didn’t matter, the relationships in my life, it didn’t matter what I attempted to do, how I attempted to escape it. There was no escaping the emptiness. As a young girl, as a teen, I believed that no matter how old I got, or how much knowledge I gained, nothing would take that void out of me. So, I went to the unthinkable. I went to down the road of suicide, thinking that this will end my pain. This will be the escape. I went down that journey and made a decision to take my own life.

Dr. Steve Greene: Before we get there, were you churched? Were you going to church as a young girl?

Tamara Laroux: As a young girl, my grandmother, thank God for praying grandmothers, right? She would take me to church, and so I would go to church, but I didn’t go regularly. I would go with her on and off. I believed in God, I knew God was real. I believe that God was a good God, a loving God and he was too good and loving to allow me to go to hell because he understood where I was. He understood my pain. And a good God wouldn’t do that. That was my belief. That was my thinking. I was 15.

Dr. Steve Greene: OK. Younger than normal, but not these days. They’re starting at this age or younger. So, it came to that day. How many days did you think about it before you attempted to take your life?

Tamara Laroux: This is what is perplexing to many people. I didn’t. I didn’t sit around and contemplate suicide for long periods of time. It is unusual. That day, it was just that day. I was like, I’m done. I just made a decision that day that I’m just I’m done.

Dr. Steve Greene: What did you do?

Tamara Laroux: I went home from school, and I got my mother’s 38-caliber gun. The whole time I was crying out for God to forgive me because I knew enough to know that once I had completed my mission I couldn’t ask for forgiveness. So, the last ray of hope that I had was maybe God would forgive me. So, I cried out for forgiveness. It was a continual cry for God to forgive me. I went and I got my mom’s 38-caliber gun and went in and I locked myself into the bathroom. I took the gun and I placed it at my head. I heard this voice telling me take the gun away from your head and point it at your heart. I was like, no. It was like I was arguing with somebody like I’m not going to do this. This is over, I’m done. I don’t want to live. I was so lacking in hope that I did not even want even a chance of survival. That’s where I was. So, I had this vision and this vision encouraged me to take to take the gun and point it at my chest. That’s what I did. I took the gun and I pointed it at my chest. When I did, I knew that I had accomplished my mission. Because when that gun went off, I could literally feel my body dying. I could feel my lungs being filled. I could no longer hear or see. I knew without a doubt, I was dying. And all of a sudden, my soul left my body and I began traveling very rapidly. I felt it. I saw it. I could see myself leaving my body. I felt myself leaving my body. There was no doubt that my soul was now going into eternity.

Dr. Steve Greene: At that moment, did you want to go back? Did you feel like, what have I done?

Tamara Laroux: Not at that moment. Not initially. But very quickly I did. Because time doesn’t exist. So, it was like time completely stopped. I began falling and falling and falling. Then it’s like I landed, I came to my destination and I knew I was no longer in control. I knew those decisions were completely out of my control. I had already made my decision. When I landed in this place, I just erupted immense pain and torment. It was like an acidic burn from the inside out and the outside in. It was like there was a fire hose of wind just pouring over every molecule of my soul. I could do is scream and complete agony. I realized at that moment, that all of the pain, all of the suffering that I was trying to escape had been completely made full. So, I was in complete torment. I was in complete isolation, in complete loneliness. I knew, without any doubt, that the reason why my torment was so intense and so severe, was because I was away from the presence of God, completely and utterly separated from God’s presence. My knowledge was made full. I didn’t have to guess, I didn’t have to learn. Everything I wanted to know all I had to do is think about. So, there was no question. It wasn’t left to my opinion or my imagination.

Dr. Steve Greene: And so there you were Tell me more. Did you have any thoughts? Obviously you were without a brain at this moment.

Tamara Laroux: Right, and that’s what you know is so amazing because you don’t need a physical body. Your soul is overlaid on top of your body. But I had my mind, I had my will. I still was who I am. I was just absent of my physical body. I was in complete torment. I could look around and I saw a sea of people, millions of people, too many people to count. They were close beside me, but we were not allowed to communicate. We were in complete isolation, but yet I could look at them. This one particular person I was looking at. I knew everything about them. I knew every sin they had ever committed. Their lives were completely transparent just like my life was completely transparent. I knew every thought they thought. I knew everything that sin they had ever committed.

Dr. Steve Greene: Does it look like a person?

Tamara Laroux: Yeah, they do. They look just like you and I without a body. It’s a transparency that’s there and it’s very difficult to explain outside of the physical realm. We weren’t bound by the physical laws of earth. So, it’s very different. But we were, we were in constant remorse. I was constantly screaming out and forgiveness. I knew that I was there not because of  just suicide. I was there because I had not surrendered my heart in my life to Jesus Christ.

Dr. Steve Greene: So you had a pretty good idea were in hell.

Tamara Laroux: Oh, there was no doubt. There was no doubt that I was in hell. There was no place in like that because of the absence of God. So, all of those scriptures, the second death, death is the absence of God. It’s the fullness and it’s complete torture because God is good. He is the patient one, He is the loving kindness, He is the goodness, He is the joy, and so completely separated from Him, it’s not the opposite. It’s the absence. So, I’m screaming out, God forgive me. I’m going over everything in my mind, every sin I had ever committed, and the remorse and the regret, and the torment is there. It doesn’t matter. All that mattered was that Christ was Lord and I rejected him. It wasn’t I didn’t have knowledge of Him. I knew Him. I knew who he was. It was that I didn’t submit my heart to Him. There’s a complete difference. Yes. That reality was what was going constantly and I knew it would never end. So, I was screaming out, Lord God, send someone back to the earth to tell them the truth that will be bold enough to tell people the truth, that this is reality, that their purpose is to worship you, to praise you, to honor you, because you are the Great I Am. Yes. And, and that was what was coming out of me and was like, oh my God, send someone back to tell them that this place of torment is very real. And you are a good God.

Dr. Steve Greene: I gotta get you out of hell. You’ve been in hell way too long here. Let’s get you out of there. How did you make that transition? What happened next?

Tamara Laroux: So, as I’m screaming these things out, you know, you’re a good God, but tell people the truth and I’m screaming out in forgiveness. There was just this presence of God that came. It was like this hand just came down and scooped me up. Instantly, all of my suffering was gone. All of my pain, all of my loneliness, all of my emptiness was just dissipated. I was completely whole. I began traveling fast again, faster than the speed of light. And I left hell. I went over this great expanse, and crossed over into the presence of God were Heaven is. I wasn’t allowed to stay. But it was like I flew over and I was being cleansed. And yet, I was engulfed in God’s presence. I realized and I knew that everything I was lacking with Him, it was him. It was His presence.

For the rest of Dr. Greene’s interview with Tamara Laroux, please click here.

 

Connect with Tamara Laroux

·         On Facebook

·         On Twitter

·         At lifechangeintl.com

 

Greenelines Host Information

Dr. Steve Greene is the Publisher and Executive Vice President of Charisma Media. Dr. Greene received his Ph.D. in marketing from Memphis State University. He has worked in television station management and worked directly with over 80 stations throughout the United States. He has worked in marketing capacities with McDonald’s, Jiffy Lube, and Stanley Steemer. He has owned restaurants, a national advertising agency and a syndicated marketing research firm. Dr. Greene has served as the Dean of the College of Business and professor of marketing at Oral Roberts University. He is also the author of Love Leads, which dispels the myths and misconceptions many have come to accept about leadership.

To learn more about Dr. Steve Greene, connect with him on social media!

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drsgreene/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrSteveGreene

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.stevegreene/

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My Journey from Hell to Heaven Through Suicide with Tamara Laroux