Find Happily Ever After When You Follow God's Plan for Marriage

Find Happily Ever After When You Follow God's Plan for Marriage

Robert and Gloria Stella believe good marriages are counter-culture when you follow God's view. Listen as they share how spouses can avoid the roommate with benefits routine and become a communicator of love and grace. Believe God united the two of you for a purpose. Learn about their book "CounterCulture Marriage."

33 Minutes • 19 days ago

Episode Notes

Greenelines with

Dr. Steve Greene

Guests: Robert and Gloria Stella

Robert and Gloria Stella believe good marriages are counter-culture when you follow God's view. Listen as they share how spouses can avoid the roommate with benefits routine and become a communicator of love and grace. Believe God united the two of you for a purpose. Learn about their book "CounterCulture Marriage."

Introduction

Dr. Steve Greene: This is the Greenelines podcast. I'm Steve Greene on the Charisma Podcast Network. I'd like to tell you about a series that's available to you now through Charisma. Many of you have seen bits and pieces of maybe one of these books, The Deborah AnointingThe Esther AnointingThe Anna Anointing, and The Ruth Anointing, plus a free bonus all in the Solid Rock Series. You're going to get all four anointing books by Michelle McClain-Walters, plus a Charisma subscription and to Life in the Spirit devotions for only $36. I want to say that part of it again. You're going to get all four of those anointing books by Michelle McClain Walters. Plus, you'll receive a Charismasubscription, a subscription to Charisma magazine, and then you'll get two Life in a Spirit devotionals for only $36. Now, you can find this atcharismamag.com/anoint. Or, you can just look right here, down below this podcast in the show notes and you'll see the link tocharismamag.com/anoint. I know you'll love these books, and I know you'll love the free bonuses and a subscription to Charisma magazine. Now let's get to the show.

Dr. Steve Greene: I just finished teaching a marriage class last night in my church. We had seven weeks of looking at home life and marriage, and I've really studied a lot of material and one of the books I got to go through was this book called Counter Culture Marriage. By nature when I look at that, I think that's pretty accurate, because good marriages are countercultural. They're not normal. When people try to do things in normal ways, the way they see neighbors trying to work through it, or the way they try to do it themselves. The last thing I said to my class last night was stay close to the cross. That's where your answer is.  The further you get away from the cross and pick up other people's ideas of what marriage should be and how he should act and how she should act, the more trouble you get into. I've got the authors on the phone line with us now, Robert and Gloria Stella wrote this book. We're going to find out about their marriage and how the Lord inspired them to write. I'm so excited to welcome both Robert and Gloria to the podcast.

 

Download first chapter of Counter Culture Marriage Free

 

So, you're young. How do you have all this wisdom about marriage? You two are babes in your marriage. How long have you been married?

Robert and Gloria Stella Website

 

CounterCulture Marriage: Finding #happilyeverafter in a #marriagesucks World

·

Gloria Stella: Over 15 years now, and we get that comment a lot. We went on a 10-year anniversary cruise, and we sat at the table and everybody would say, oh, are you here on your honeymoon.? It's, oh no, we're here celebrating 10 years. We know that we got married when we were 14.

 

What They’re Saying About Counter Culture Marriage

·      “CounterCulture Marriage is everything the title says...[it's] that roadmap whether you are just getting started and want to navigate away from the rocks or if your ship is sinking with no help in sight. … CounterCulture Marriage will show you the truths in God's Word that have stood the test of time in every culture, in every century, and in every tongue." – Jentezen Franklin, Senior Pastor, Free Chapel and New York Times Bestselling Author

·      "Ours is an age sadly confused about much and greatly confused about marriage. Robert and Gloria Stella have written a clear, lucid and practical work on the basic building block of society and they have done it while avoiding the traps of pompous religiosity and smug condescension. I recommend this book to everyone who hopes to make a real marriage work in the midst of a confused and wayward culture." – Dr. Mark Rutland, Founder of Global Servants and The National Institute of Christian Leadership and New York Times Bestselling Author 

·      "The traditional notion of marriage is slowly headed toward extinction. Our culture is plagued with ideals of how relationships should work in the 21st century, but our family unit is in disarray more so now than ever before. Robert and Gloria take couples back to the basics in CounterCulture Marriage, reestablishing God’s authority on marriage and making happy marriages a possible option." – Mark Cole, John Maxwell Enterprise

 

 

Dr. Steve Greene: Yes. I was gonna say something stupid like that but I thought you'd reach to the microphone and punch me. The two of you just eat well and you live right. So, you look young. When did you all start to figure out marriage? Did you have a crisis, a crucible that you went through the challenge a little bit?

Robert Stella: It wasn’t so much a crisis. We had some great leadership and mentorship and pastors in our life when we started. We got married young at 19 years old. Obviously, now, we know we didn't know a lot of anything back then. But we just love God and we pursued God. He had a lot of grace for us in that season. As we progressed, God began to give us a passion for marriage. So, He allowed us to kind of go through a season of not knowing much, but pursuing Him and Him having grace in our in our deficiencies. But then He allowed us to grow and mature in the area of marriage and teach on marriage. God's really blessed us. It's been an amazing journey learning about what God's divine design for marriage is.

Dr. Steve Greene: There is no question that godly marriages have a better chance of success. I want to encourage you. My wife and I got married at 19. I'll tell you we are around 47 years now. I can't do the math. I just know I got married in 1973. I stopped trying to count. I'll figure out when 50 has and we'll celebrate then. It'll be on a golf course. But you two, you have so much ahead of you and so much of life yet to live. Yet, you have a real chunk of it figured out. In some of the chapters of your book, you're just not old enough to have this kind of wisdom. So, what role did the Holy Spirit play in your lives to help you put this book together?

Gloria Stella: For me, I don't think we have it all figured out. I think everyone's still going forward. What I like to say about this book and the content in it whenever people ask us, when you're so young, is that none of the concepts in this book are ours. They're all biblically based. They're all they're all spirit-filled. They've been in the Bible since the beginning of time. All we did was take that information and apply it to today's culture, because we know Jesus never had issues with who He followed on Instagram or friending Him, someone on Facebook, or going to a movie that wasn't appropriate. He didn’t necessarily, in the same way have the influx of media that we deal with now. So, we just took those concepts in the Bible and repackaged them for the next generation.

Robert Stella: I love that you brought up the Holy Spirit's involvement in us putting this together. Like Gloria said, we don't know everything. God's kind of allowed us to learn a lot of this along the way. But when we were writing this book, there were times where we would sit down and we would just be writing and almost be shocked ourselves. We would be done with  a chapter or a portion and we would think, if it wasn't for the Holy Spirit, if it wasn't for God, this wouldn't have come out this way. This wouldn't have looked at this. We're just that smart. We're not that good. We don't have it all together. It was God that assembled this and we believe that with all of our heart.

Gloria Stella: I go back even now and read through sections and I'll text Robert and I'll say, Wow, did you read that? It’s really good. I can't even believe that I would say things like this. I know that it moves and God was just speaking through us.

Dr. Steve Greene: I teach people, young couples like you all couples like you to read books and co-read them, write notes in the margin and talk back and forth. But you have already written to each other. This is what an ideal marriage is or what our goal is, what we're reaching up for. One of the things I liked most about your book is the central theme is counter to culture. Why don't you establish that for our listeners, and tell them what you mean by counter to culture, to live a marriage counter to a cultural view of marriage?

Robert Stella: That theme really came from a pastor here at our church. But as we were putting together some young marriage material, we were teaching the young marrieds class, and what she even said to us is this is all counterculture. That sort of became the theme for what I think God was putting together many years later, and we didn't know that. But it's all kind of based around this idea that culture is influencing our marriages in so many different ways, whether it's media, magazines, books, TV, movies, all of these things, and sometimes it's serious and dramatic, and sometimes its comedic. But we found ourselves sitting around at home one day watching shows and funny sitcoms, and we'd laugh about it. We would think, that's not realistic. Then one day we realized, you know what, this actually is the only example of marriage that so much of our country has. With many of our believers, they see this on TV and it begins to influence and impact their views of marriage. It may be extreme in some of the media outlets, but it has become the norm. It's very opposite of what the Word of God says. So, we wanted to put something together that was relevant. It wasn't like condemning anything, but it was showing this is what God's view of marriage is. It's not what media portrays. It's not what magazines and so many of these secular books and other outlets are trying to portray and tell us about our marriage. That's not working. Honestly, we know from statistics, it's not working. But God's way works. So, we want to get them and draw people back to what the Word of God says and that is very much counter to what culture has been doing for so long.

Gloria Stella: We had a lot of fun putting this together when we first came up with the concept because. We would pull clips from popular TV shows like popular sitcoms, or magazines or the celebrity gossip that was around. We would pull these examples and say, OK, this is how culture does it. Now, let's see what God says about it. It makes the whole thing just so much more relevant because these are the same shows and the same celebrities that just have exposure to your everyday life. So, it just brings it home for people.

Dr. Steve Greene: So, there's that conflict between a cultural marriage and a Christ-centered marriage. That's where we fight. It's when that outer stuff, that outer influence, even the marriages you watch on TV, they're not Christ-centered. I haven't seen one on television that's Christ centered, but you give your examples. So how did you deal with that in your own marriage when you have conflicts? Are you helping people to understand that conflict is what we struggle with every day? We have conflict in our walk. We’re attacked and tempted in our walk every day, let alone where two become one and we have this marriage battle going on.

Gloria Stella: Yeah, I think it's funny that you say that. The issue about conflict every day. One of the chapters of the book deals with fighting fairly and communicating. As far as conflict is concerned in our communication, we tend to admire couples who say we never argue, we never fight. There are a couple things going on here. Either you're not talking to each other and therefore you're not expressing different views, or you're hiding things, or you're just so mature in your marriage that you've learned to express your disagreements in a mature loving way with grace, which I think most people have not reached that point yet, although that is the ultimate goal. We encourage people that just because you're arguing or you're fighting doesn't mean that everything is terrible in your marriage, it means that you are two individual human beings with different personalities and different viewpoints and different backgrounds. The key is not to no longer have arguments or differing views. The key is to learn how to communicate those things. so that you can be honest with each other and respect each other's opinions and communicate with love and grace.

Connect with Robert and Gloria Stella

·         Robert on LinkedIn

·         Robert On Twitter

·         Gloria on Twitter

·         Gloriastella.com

 

Greenelines Host Information

Dr. Steve Greene is the Publisher and Executive Vice President of Charisma Media. Dr. Greene received his Ph.D. in marketing from Memphis State University. He has worked in television station management and worked directly with over 80 stations throughout the United States. He has worked in marketing capacities with McDonald’s, Jiffy Lube, and Stanley Steemer. He has owned restaurants, a national advertising agency and a syndicated marketing research firm. Dr. Greene has served as the Dean of the College of Business and professor of marketing at Oral Roberts University. He is also the author of Love Leads, which dispels the myths and misconceptions many have come to accept about leadership.

To learn more about Dr. Steve Greene, connect with him on social media!

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drsgreene/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrSteveGreene

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.stevegreene/

Episode Notes

Greenelines with

Dr. Steve Greene

Guests: Robert and Gloria Stella

Robert and Gloria Stella believe good marriages are counter-culture when you follow God's view. Listen as they share how spouses can avoid the roommate with benefits routine and become a communicator of love and grace. Believe God united the two of you for a purpose. Learn about their book "CounterCulture Marriage."

Introduction

Dr. Steve Greene: This is the Greenelines podcast. I'm Steve Greene on the Charisma Podcast Network. I'd like to tell you about a series that's available to you now through Charisma. Many of you have seen bits and pieces of maybe one of these books, The Deborah AnointingThe Esther AnointingThe Anna Anointing, and The Ruth Anointing, plus a free bonus all in the Solid Rock Series. You're going to get all four anointing books by Michelle McClain-Walters, plus a Charisma subscription and to Life in the Spirit devotions for only $36. I want to say that part of it again. You're going to get all four of those anointing books by Michelle McClain Walters. Plus, you'll receive a Charismasubscription, a subscription to Charisma magazine, and then you'll get two Life in a Spirit devotionals for only $36. Now, you can find this atcharismamag.com/anoint. Or, you can just look right here, down below this podcast in the show notes and you'll see the link tocharismamag.com/anoint. I know you'll love these books, and I know you'll love the free bonuses and a subscription to Charisma magazine. Now let's get to the show.

Dr. Steve Greene: I just finished teaching a marriage class last night in my church. We had seven weeks of looking at home life and marriage, and I've really studied a lot of material and one of the books I got to go through was this book called Counter Culture Marriage. By nature when I look at that, I think that's pretty accurate, because good marriages are countercultural. They're not normal. When people try to do things in normal ways, the way they see neighbors trying to work through it, or the way they try to do it themselves. The last thing I said to my class last night was stay close to the cross. That's where your answer is.  The further you get away from the cross and pick up other people's ideas of what marriage should be and how he should act and how she should act, the more trouble you get into. I've got the authors on the phone line with us now, Robert and Gloria Stella wrote this book. We're going to find out about their marriage and how the Lord inspired them to write. I'm so excited to welcome both Robert and Gloria to the podcast.

 

Download first chapter of Counter Culture Marriage Free

 

So, you're young. How do you have all this wisdom about marriage? You two are babes in your marriage. How long have you been married?

Robert and Gloria Stella Website

 

CounterCulture Marriage: Finding #happilyeverafter in a #marriagesucks World

·

Gloria Stella: Over 15 years now, and we get that comment a lot. We went on a 10-year anniversary cruise, and we sat at the table and everybody would say, oh, are you here on your honeymoon.? It's, oh no, we're here celebrating 10 years. We know that we got married when we were 14.

 

What They’re Saying About Counter Culture Marriage

·      “CounterCulture Marriage is everything the title says...[it's] that roadmap whether you are just getting started and want to navigate away from the rocks or if your ship is sinking with no help in sight. … CounterCulture Marriage will show you the truths in God's Word that have stood the test of time in every culture, in every century, and in every tongue." – Jentezen Franklin, Senior Pastor, Free Chapel and New York Times Bestselling Author

·      "Ours is an age sadly confused about much and greatly confused about marriage. Robert and Gloria Stella have written a clear, lucid and practical work on the basic building block of society and they have done it while avoiding the traps of pompous religiosity and smug condescension. I recommend this book to everyone who hopes to make a real marriage work in the midst of a confused and wayward culture." – Dr. Mark Rutland, Founder of Global Servants and The National Institute of Christian Leadership and New York Times Bestselling Author 

·      "The traditional notion of marriage is slowly headed toward extinction. Our culture is plagued with ideals of how relationships should work in the 21st century, but our family unit is in disarray more so now than ever before. Robert and Gloria take couples back to the basics in CounterCulture Marriage, reestablishing God’s authority on marriage and making happy marriages a possible option." – Mark Cole, John Maxwell Enterprise

 

 

Dr. Steve Greene: Yes. I was gonna say something stupid like that but I thought you'd reach to the microphone and punch me. The two of you just eat well and you live right. So, you look young. When did you all start to figure out marriage? Did you have a crisis, a crucible that you went through the challenge a little bit?

Robert Stella: It wasn’t so much a crisis. We had some great leadership and mentorship and pastors in our life when we started. We got married young at 19 years old. Obviously, now, we know we didn't know a lot of anything back then. But we just love God and we pursued God. He had a lot of grace for us in that season. As we progressed, God began to give us a passion for marriage. So, He allowed us to kind of go through a season of not knowing much, but pursuing Him and Him having grace in our in our deficiencies. But then He allowed us to grow and mature in the area of marriage and teach on marriage. God's really blessed us. It's been an amazing journey learning about what God's divine design for marriage is.

Dr. Steve Greene: There is no question that godly marriages have a better chance of success. I want to encourage you. My wife and I got married at 19. I'll tell you we are around 47 years now. I can't do the math. I just know I got married in 1973. I stopped trying to count. I'll figure out when 50 has and we'll celebrate then. It'll be on a golf course. But you two, you have so much ahead of you and so much of life yet to live. Yet, you have a real chunk of it figured out. In some of the chapters of your book, you're just not old enough to have this kind of wisdom. So, what role did the Holy Spirit play in your lives to help you put this book together?

Gloria Stella: For me, I don't think we have it all figured out. I think everyone's still going forward. What I like to say about this book and the content in it whenever people ask us, when you're so young, is that none of the concepts in this book are ours. They're all biblically based. They're all they're all spirit-filled. They've been in the Bible since the beginning of time. All we did was take that information and apply it to today's culture, because we know Jesus never had issues with who He followed on Instagram or friending Him, someone on Facebook, or going to a movie that wasn't appropriate. He didn’t necessarily, in the same way have the influx of media that we deal with now. So, we just took those concepts in the Bible and repackaged them for the next generation.

Robert Stella: I love that you brought up the Holy Spirit's involvement in us putting this together. Like Gloria said, we don't know everything. God's kind of allowed us to learn a lot of this along the way. But when we were writing this book, there were times where we would sit down and we would just be writing and almost be shocked ourselves. We would be done with  a chapter or a portion and we would think, if it wasn't for the Holy Spirit, if it wasn't for God, this wouldn't have come out this way. This wouldn't have looked at this. We're just that smart. We're not that good. We don't have it all together. It was God that assembled this and we believe that with all of our heart.

Gloria Stella: I go back even now and read through sections and I'll text Robert and I'll say, Wow, did you read that? It’s really good. I can't even believe that I would say things like this. I know that it moves and God was just speaking through us.

Dr. Steve Greene: I teach people, young couples like you all couples like you to read books and co-read them, write notes in the margin and talk back and forth. But you have already written to each other. This is what an ideal marriage is or what our goal is, what we're reaching up for. One of the things I liked most about your book is the central theme is counter to culture. Why don't you establish that for our listeners, and tell them what you mean by counter to culture, to live a marriage counter to a cultural view of marriage?

Robert Stella: That theme really came from a pastor here at our church. But as we were putting together some young marriage material, we were teaching the young marrieds class, and what she even said to us is this is all counterculture. That sort of became the theme for what I think God was putting together many years later, and we didn't know that. But it's all kind of based around this idea that culture is influencing our marriages in so many different ways, whether it's media, magazines, books, TV, movies, all of these things, and sometimes it's serious and dramatic, and sometimes its comedic. But we found ourselves sitting around at home one day watching shows and funny sitcoms, and we'd laugh about it. We would think, that's not realistic. Then one day we realized, you know what, this actually is the only example of marriage that so much of our country has. With many of our believers, they see this on TV and it begins to influence and impact their views of marriage. It may be extreme in some of the media outlets, but it has become the norm. It's very opposite of what the Word of God says. So, we wanted to put something together that was relevant. It wasn't like condemning anything, but it was showing this is what God's view of marriage is. It's not what media portrays. It's not what magazines and so many of these secular books and other outlets are trying to portray and tell us about our marriage. That's not working. Honestly, we know from statistics, it's not working. But God's way works. So, we want to get them and draw people back to what the Word of God says and that is very much counter to what culture has been doing for so long.

Gloria Stella: We had a lot of fun putting this together when we first came up with the concept because. We would pull clips from popular TV shows like popular sitcoms, or magazines or the celebrity gossip that was around. We would pull these examples and say, OK, this is how culture does it. Now, let's see what God says about it. It makes the whole thing just so much more relevant because these are the same shows and the same celebrities that just have exposure to your everyday life. So, it just brings it home for people.

Dr. Steve Greene: So, there's that conflict between a cultural marriage and a Christ-centered marriage. That's where we fight. It's when that outer stuff, that outer influence, even the marriages you watch on TV, they're not Christ-centered. I haven't seen one on television that's Christ centered, but you give your examples. So how did you deal with that in your own marriage when you have conflicts? Are you helping people to understand that conflict is what we struggle with every day? We have conflict in our walk. We’re attacked and tempted in our walk every day, let alone where two become one and we have this marriage battle going on.

Gloria Stella: Yeah, I think it's funny that you say that. The issue about conflict every day. One of the chapters of the book deals with fighting fairly and communicating. As far as conflict is concerned in our communication, we tend to admire couples who say we never argue, we never fight. There are a couple things going on here. Either you're not talking to each other and therefore you're not expressing different views, or you're hiding things, or you're just so mature in your marriage that you've learned to express your disagreements in a mature loving way with grace, which I think most people have not reached that point yet, although that is the ultimate goal. We encourage people that just because you're arguing or you're fighting doesn't mean that everything is terrible in your marriage, it means that you are two individual human beings with different personalities and different viewpoints and different backgrounds. The key is not to no longer have arguments or differing views. The key is to learn how to communicate those things. so that you can be honest with each other and respect each other's opinions and communicate with love and grace.

Connect with Robert and Gloria Stella

·         Robert on LinkedIn

·         Robert On Twitter

·         Gloria on Twitter

·         Gloriastella.com

 

Greenelines Host Information

Dr. Steve Greene is the Publisher and Executive Vice President of Charisma Media. Dr. Greene received his Ph.D. in marketing from Memphis State University. He has worked in television station management and worked directly with over 80 stations throughout the United States. He has worked in marketing capacities with McDonald’s, Jiffy Lube, and Stanley Steemer. He has owned restaurants, a national advertising agency and a syndicated marketing research firm. Dr. Greene has served as the Dean of the College of Business and professor of marketing at Oral Roberts University. He is also the author of Love Leads, which dispels the myths and misconceptions many have come to accept about leadership.

To learn more about Dr. Steve Greene, connect with him on social media!

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drsgreene/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrSteveGreene

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.stevegreene/

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Find Happily Ever After When You Follow God's Plan for Marriage