Kelly Wilkerson: A Journey into True Worship

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Hey friends, and welcome back to Her God Story.

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This is a place where you will always hear a

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powerful, faith -filled story to encourage and

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inspire your walk with the Lord. I'm your host,

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Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares

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America, and international author and traveler

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on this journey with Jesus. I'm so glad you're

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tuning in today. Throughout scripture, God makes

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it very clear how deeply He cares for the overlooked

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and hurting, especially widows and orphans. That's

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why we launched the Widow and Orphan Fund that

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somebody cares. As a community of women, we get

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to step in and bring real hope to those facing

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unimaginable hardship around the world. Just

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recently, we sent support to Christian Widows

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in Myanmar, a nation torn by civil war and rocked

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by a major earthquake. Many of their husbands

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were conscripted or targeted for their faith.

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Some even lost their lives. And these women are

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not only grieving, but also battling, crushing

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poverty and persecution. Some have felt so overwhelmed

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they've lost the will to live. But God sees them.

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He hears their cries. And through trusted ministry

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partners, tangible help and lasting hope is reaching

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them now. Because of generous friends like you,

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these precious women know they've not been forgotten.

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Just visit hergodstory .org and click help now.

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And yes, we even accept cryptocurrency. Now let's

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dive into today's episode. Pastor David Jeremiah

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once said, if you don't worship, you'll never

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experience God. That's a bold statement, but

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it makes us ask what is worship really? A lot

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of us associate worship with singing songs in

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church, and that's a beautiful part of it. But

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true worship is far more than a moment of music.

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It's a way of life. I'm reminded of Romans 12,

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one and two, and I want to read it from the New

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Living Translation. And so, dear brothers and

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sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies

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to God because of all he's done for you. Let

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them be a living and holy sacrifice, the kind

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he will find acceptable. This is truly the way

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to worship him. Don't copy the behavior and customs

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of this world, but let God transform you into

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a new person by changing the way you think. Then

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you will learn to know God's will for you, which

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is good and pleasing and perfect. That is the

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heart of worship. It's not just an expression,

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it's a transformation. When we offer our lives

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fully to God, He reshapes us from the inside

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out. He changes our thoughts, our desires, our

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identity. We stop chasing what the world says

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is valuable, and we start discovering God's perfect

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will for our lives. That's what we're leaning

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into today, what it means to live a life of worship

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that brings real transformation. And that brings

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me to our guest, Kelly Wilkerson. Kelly is a

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worship leader, songwriter, pastor, and now the

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vice president of World Challenge. She's also

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a wife and mother of four adult children. Through

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every high and low, including the unique experience

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of having David Wilkerson as her father -in -law,

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she's learned how to worship God in every season.

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So as you listen, I encourage you, grab hold

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of one truth you can apply to your own walk of

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worship. Welcome, Kelly. It's great to be here

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with you, Jody. Thank you for having me. Oh,

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it's my pleasure. So let's start off, Kelly,

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by having you tell us a little about your upbringing

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and how Your God story even began. Well, I was

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raised in East Texas. My parents are they were

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not believers at the time. They didn't meet Christ

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until. my teenage years. So but we did go to

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church. That was part of the community that was

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expected of you when you're growing up in the

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Bible Belt, you know, that you that you went

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to church and you went to church faithfully.

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That was kind of like the social club and you

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wanted to be seen. You wanted people to think

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that your life was put all together that your

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children are seen and not heard and everybody

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filed in line and didn't cause trouble. So at

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a very young age in our Methodist church where

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I was growing up, they had a revival come to

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town. And I remember my parents kind of arguing

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over whether we were going to attend or not,

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because my dad was a very hard worker, mechanical

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contractor in Texas, which is long hours and

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can be very hot there. So he didn't want to give

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up his evenings, but my mom... persisted and

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we were there every night and he was the evangelist

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was preaching the gospel but at eight years old

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I was very stubborn and kind of had my own opinion

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about who this man was and I wasn't going to

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give him the satisfaction of going forward to

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accept Christ so it wasn't until maybe oh I don't

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know some weeks later, that I was doing my chores.

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And one of my chores in our household was dusting.

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And that was the entire house. That wasn't just

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a room. And every time I dusted my parents' bedroom,

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my dad had a Bible that had beautiful Bible pictures

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in it. And without fail, you know, I was in there.

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I'd come to that part of the tour and I looked

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at the pictures in the Bible and I remembered

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the man inviting. us to accept Christ. But I,

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you know, I didn't know. You have to be in church.

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Maybe you have to be with a crowd of people.

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And so my mom, who was vacuuming in the other

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room, I went and asked her, and I was like, do

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you need to be in a crowd, you know, to ask Jesus

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into your heart? And she was like, I don't know.

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You know, she was a little bit... with me, you

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know, like, let's get our tours done, you know.

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And so I just went back to their room and knelt

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by the bed and asked Jesus into my heart, you

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know, so. Yeah, I felt three warm waves. That

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is so sweet. All over me. And so I thought that

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that was unexpected. And I don't know exactly

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what that meant. But, you know, I was. in love

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with Jesus for as much as I knew how. I wasn't

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really discipled, although I know I had a godly

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Sunday school teacher. And so I would get, you

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know, stories and hear about Christ on Sundays,

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but that was pretty much it. You know, my dad

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had been in the Navy and my mom, you know, kind

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of grew up with a heart within a... with a hard

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childhood. So it wasn't, not that they were bad,

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they were just super strict, very kind of engaged

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in what they felt like they needed to do to help

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the community or be seen or whatever. And then,

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and of course, when I was being raised, it was

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definitely, you know, kids are seen and not heard

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and so. run along and go do something. So as

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time went on, your parents actually did come

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to faith as well, didn't they? Yeah, so when

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I was just, yeah, 12, 13, they came to Christ.

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We had a lay witness mission at our church, which

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is offered at that time by the Methodist Church,

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where lay leaders come to your community. They

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might come, you know, from really far away or

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just the next county over, you know, but you

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would host either a son or a daughter or entire

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family. It just depended on, you know, the space

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that you had available. So we actually had a

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teenage boy staying with us. And so that meant

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we were involved in the entire weekend and starting

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on Friday evening. the guests would share their

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stories of faith and how they came to Christ,

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whether they were plumbers, electricians, school

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teachers, librarians, lawyers, doctors, all walks

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of life came to share their faith. And that kind

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of started the journey for my family. My brother

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met Christ that weekend. My older brother, older

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sister, they both met Christ that weekend. My

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dad started going to Bible study as a result

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of that, and then he came to faith through the

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Bible study. And then my mom saw a Billy Graham

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film that we later had at our church, and she

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came to Christ as well. So thankfully, you know,

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our entire family, they're all believers and,

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you know, love the Lord. We came to hear about

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the Holy Spirit through a youth pastor that came

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to serve at our Methodist Church who had been

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baptized in the Holy Spirit in college. And so

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he brought that home to his community. And so

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that's how I heard about the Holy Spirit and

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then got to meet him. Yeah, eventually your family.

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decided to go to an assembly of God church, which

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really was a providential move for your life.

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Because, you know, in addition to spiritual growth,

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that's where you also met Gary, who would become

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your husband. Share about that season and how

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God used it to direct your life. I was incredibly

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disappointed, you know, that my parents, because

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I was 16, I just was 15, just going on 16, loved

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our youth group. loved, you know, because we

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were on fire for God, you know, and so they loved

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to witness. They loved to pray for people on

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the streets. We loved spending time and worship.

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So when our parents, you know, they were just

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like, we need more Bible teaching. We're not

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getting it here and we need to know more about

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the Holy Spirit. So they they heard that there

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was a really good Bible teacher. in the town

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that I went to high school in. And so they said,

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we're doing that. And so they took us out. And

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they're just like, we have to go on Sunday nights

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because we need to be here Sunday mornings at

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the Methodist Church. And we have responsibilities

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here that we're taking care of. So they pulled

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us out and took us to the assembly church. And

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I was so nervous because that meant like no makeup.

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can't cut your hair, you always have to wear

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dresses, you know, so just different things that

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a teenage girl is not that thrilled about. That's

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the old -time assembly line church. I don't know

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that they all do that today. I don't know that

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they do. Yeah, but that was back in the early

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70s. So one night my parents said, this is it,

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we're gonna join this church. And I was so angry,

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Jodi. I was just bawling my eyes out and they

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come through the line to shake hands and, oh,

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welcome to our church. And one of the elderly

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women there thought that the Holy Spirit had

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fallen. They were like, oh, look, she's being

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blessed by the Lord. It's like, I'm so angry,

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I do not want to be here. So, but our pastor

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had three sons and I went to high school with

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the eldest of the three. And he was later, our

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pastor was invited to join the Wilkerson ministry.

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And so as a result of that, you know my friend

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introduced me to Gary and then of course we started

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dating and we've been married for almost 47 years

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now so yeah. Yeah if you had never moved churches

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you would probably would have not met Gary. I

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know right yeah. And really that was that was

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the beginning of a lifelong journey of ministry

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which probably wasn't on your video screen when

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you were looking ahead in life. One of the first

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places God took you was away from Texas to Yuma,

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Arizona. What did that chapter teach you about

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ministry and about yourself? Because God uses

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everything to shape us and form us, doesn't he?

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Yes, he does. It was a great time for Gary and

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me to get to become a couple. We married when

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we were 19, so we were really young and there

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was no one else around us to kind of pull at

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us, you know, for any type of family, anything.

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It was just, it was just two of us, you know,

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in this little church that we were helping to

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plant. And it was a very small congregation.

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It was only just maybe like 20 people. And yeah,

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so just tiny, tiny. So it taught us to rely on

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the Lord and to rely on each other and to really

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like have a grounding in our faith as a couple

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you know that we it's like all right we're going

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to learn how to pray together we're going to

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learn how to believe God we're going to learn

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how to wait and hear. So it was very informative.

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It was an awesome time. So a little scary at

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times and so culturally different. I mean, I

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grew up, like I mentioned, in East Texas, where

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there's grass and trees and rivers and lakes.

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And we moved right to the middle of the desert.

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I mean, we were just surrounded by sand and very

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little vegetation. It only rained like two days

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the entire year that we lived there. It was 115

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during the day and 99 at night, you know, like

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at 10 at night or whatever. So it was, yeah,

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it was a big, big switch. But that was so foundational

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for your marriage. God knew all that was to come

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and you really needed a solid foundation of prayer

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together and, you know, reading the Word together

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and being one in Christ. It was an awesome training

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ground. Well from there, God took you to an even

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bigger change, a big city. Washington, D .C.,

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New York, places where God began to deal with

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things inside of you, like fear. Explain about

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that. My older brother, he really enjoyed horror

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movies. He loved to scare me. I mean, he would

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hide in my closet. He would, you know, I mean,

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he would sneak up behind me while I was playing

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the piano, just, I mean, he really, he got a

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kick out of it. And so he, it was like, Kelly,

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come on, you gotta, you know, watch this movie

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with me. And so, you know, foolishly I would,

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and obviously I didn't realize what I was opening

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myself up to, but it was, it became a stronghold

00:15:39.779 --> 00:15:46.279
of fear. And it, it was crippling at times. And

00:15:46.279 --> 00:15:51.100
when Gary, even when he would travel, I would

00:15:51.100 --> 00:15:54.740
have, you know, either our friends come over

00:15:54.740 --> 00:15:58.740
and go through the house for me, or my brother

00:15:58.740 --> 00:16:01.919
-in -law would come over and stay, you know.

00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:05.320
So it was, it was one of those things that God

00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:09.919
definitely, you know, wanted to set me free of.

00:16:10.460 --> 00:16:13.879
And moving into big cities, that was you know,

00:16:14.340 --> 00:16:16.940
just everything was scary. You know, and we lived

00:16:16.940 --> 00:16:20.980
in Washington, D .C. and my first time that I

00:16:20.980 --> 00:16:25.100
actually ventured out in the car, as I was driving

00:16:25.100 --> 00:16:28.259
home, I wanted to get home before it got dark.

00:16:29.340 --> 00:16:34.139
And I see this man running down the street and

00:16:34.139 --> 00:16:36.340
I thought, oh dear, you know, please don't run

00:16:36.340 --> 00:16:40.399
to my car. And sure enough, I heard this knock

00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:43.179
on the window. So I put my window down just a

00:16:43.179 --> 00:16:46.779
little bit. And I was like, yes. He was holding

00:16:46.779 --> 00:16:49.120
his neck. He goes, can you help me? Can you take

00:16:49.120 --> 00:16:51.279
me to the police station? I've been stabbed.

00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:54.019
And when he did like that, he just had blood

00:16:54.019 --> 00:17:01.080
all over his hand. And I was like, Lord. to be

00:17:01.080 --> 00:17:05.680
21 and living in the inner city and the strange

00:17:05.680 --> 00:17:09.599
man that's been stabbed. So I was like, okay,

00:17:09.779 --> 00:17:13.440
God, what do I do? And there was a... This was

00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:15.579
before cell phones. You couldn't call 911. But

00:17:15.579 --> 00:17:18.279
I looked over my shoulder, Jodi, and there was

00:17:18.279 --> 00:17:22.339
like a mini police station directly across the

00:17:22.339 --> 00:17:24.900
street. And I was like, do you think you could

00:17:24.900 --> 00:17:28.220
just... run across the street there, you know,

00:17:28.220 --> 00:17:30.339
are you going to be okay? So I did make the block

00:17:30.339 --> 00:17:33.839
and make sure that he was all right. But, um,

00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:37.420
yeah, it was, it was definitely a scary thing.

00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:41.940
I needed God to set me free of that. So, which

00:17:41.940 --> 00:17:45.579
he mercifully did, you know, I mean, how did

00:17:45.579 --> 00:17:50.819
you do that? Well, first I repented. I needed

00:17:50.819 --> 00:17:56.569
to repent of allowing all of that really wicked

00:17:56.569 --> 00:18:01.430
stuff that I had opened myself up to see, and

00:18:01.430 --> 00:18:07.829
then just learning about our spiritual inheritance

00:18:07.829 --> 00:18:15.250
and our weapons of warfare that God has very

00:18:15.250 --> 00:18:17.990
graciously given to us, that they're mighty in

00:18:17.990 --> 00:18:20.579
battle, that they're not something. and you know

00:18:20.579 --> 00:18:23.660
to realize that I wasn't wrestling with people

00:18:23.660 --> 00:18:26.960
you know I mean every time that anybody came

00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:29.599
you know to check out our house, you know, there

00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:31.980
was nobody ever there. You know, I mean, we've

00:18:31.980 --> 00:18:34.599
had some things stolen from us in different cities

00:18:34.599 --> 00:18:38.039
and things, but no harm has ever come to Gary

00:18:38.039 --> 00:18:42.400
and me. And so I started with repentance and,

00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:44.339
you know, told the Lord that I was sorry because

00:18:44.339 --> 00:18:47.019
that was not of God, you know, because it tells

00:18:47.019 --> 00:18:49.640
us very clearly in scripture that God does not

00:18:49.640 --> 00:18:52.539
give us the spirit of fear. but of power and

00:18:52.539 --> 00:18:55.720
of love and of a sound mind. And so then just

00:18:55.720 --> 00:18:59.440
realizing when I entertain those thoughts and

00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:02.279
my imagination takes over and then I think, you

00:19:02.279 --> 00:19:04.259
know, like, oh, this is going to happen or that's

00:19:04.259 --> 00:19:07.099
going to happen or this is part of it or, you

00:19:07.099 --> 00:19:09.720
know, it's just like, no, arrest those thoughts,

00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:14.789
take those thoughts captive. They're not obeying

00:19:14.789 --> 00:19:18.170
Christ. So you pull those down and you replace

00:19:18.170 --> 00:19:21.049
them with God's thoughts. You replace them with

00:19:21.049 --> 00:19:24.369
scripture. And so then, like you read this morning,

00:19:24.549 --> 00:19:27.960
that transforms your mind. So then you're not

00:19:27.960 --> 00:19:30.380
thinking like the world is thinking. You're not

00:19:30.380 --> 00:19:35.000
giving in to what the world wants you to do.

00:19:35.819 --> 00:19:39.119
And so Jesus tells us this, be good cheer. I've

00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:41.460
overcome the world. In the world, you're gonna

00:19:41.460 --> 00:19:45.420
have tribulation. And I can add to that if I

00:19:45.420 --> 00:19:49.299
let my thoughts kind of spin out of control and

00:19:49.299 --> 00:19:54.119
have my imagination be carnal minded and then.

00:19:54.170 --> 00:19:57.130
You know, it just takes me someplace that God

00:19:57.130 --> 00:20:01.869
is not even there. So then so repenting, renouncing

00:20:01.869 --> 00:20:07.869
and then rebuking. So it's like, God, I'm sorry.

00:20:08.490 --> 00:20:12.809
I renounce that fear and I rebuke that fear in

00:20:12.809 --> 00:20:15.450
the mighty name of Jesus. And so and then you

00:20:15.450 --> 00:20:18.809
ask the Holy Spirit to come and fill those places

00:20:18.809 --> 00:20:21.809
and then keep moving forward with it, you know.

00:20:22.109 --> 00:20:25.710
just the presence of Christ, you know, and not

00:20:25.710 --> 00:20:28.950
giving yourself over. Yeah, and you know, I love

00:20:28.950 --> 00:20:31.589
something you told me the other day, that even

00:20:31.589 --> 00:20:34.130
when you were operating in fear, God was so gracious

00:20:34.130 --> 00:20:37.529
and gentle with you. Yes. That He gave you a

00:20:37.529 --> 00:20:40.650
dream. Can you share that dream? Yes, yes, I

00:20:40.650 --> 00:20:46.529
would love to. I was so put out with ministry

00:20:46.529 --> 00:20:48.630
at some point. I just I didn't want to be lied

00:20:48.630 --> 00:20:52.569
to anymore. And so I actually became a jazzercise

00:20:52.569 --> 00:20:56.069
instructor. You know, Gary became he he was off

00:20:56.069 --> 00:20:59.390
evangelizing the world and I I was just living

00:20:59.390 --> 00:21:04.589
for myself. And, you know, over time of after

00:21:04.589 --> 00:21:07.569
we had a child and and I actually I went with

00:21:07.569 --> 00:21:10.069
him for ministry in New York, but I never left

00:21:10.069 --> 00:21:13.650
the hotel. I was, you know, I didn't want to

00:21:13.650 --> 00:21:16.990
take the baby. I didn't want to be on the streets

00:21:16.990 --> 00:21:19.470
by myself. So I was just basically kind of trapped

00:21:19.470 --> 00:21:22.910
in the hotel. And so after I fed our son, he

00:21:22.910 --> 00:21:25.430
was eight months at the time and he fell back

00:21:25.430 --> 00:21:28.230
asleep. Then I was so grumpy. I was like, well,

00:21:28.230 --> 00:21:31.349
I'm just gonna go back to sleep too. I have nothing

00:21:31.349 --> 00:21:37.150
to do. And so I'm, I have this dream and after

00:21:37.150 --> 00:21:39.890
I wake up, I'll tell you the dream in just a

00:21:39.890 --> 00:21:43.809
second. But when I woke up I thought the good

00:21:43.809 --> 00:21:46.670
Christian girl thing to do is to read the Bible

00:21:46.670 --> 00:21:49.190
so I just kind of did one of those plop it open

00:21:49.190 --> 00:21:53.470
and stick your finger in and it is written that

00:21:53.470 --> 00:21:56.410
for I the Lord your God hold your right hand

00:21:56.410 --> 00:22:00.230
it is I who say to you fear not I will help you

00:22:00.230 --> 00:22:04.049
and immediately I remembered the dream that I

00:22:04.049 --> 00:22:08.769
had that I was traveling and you know a fellow

00:22:08.769 --> 00:22:11.930
traveler came and sat next to me and we had this

00:22:11.930 --> 00:22:14.589
amazing conversation that I still don't know

00:22:14.589 --> 00:22:18.970
the context of that conversation but I I knew

00:22:18.970 --> 00:22:22.329
that this was a godly person. This was God, you

00:22:22.329 --> 00:22:25.769
know, this was a divine encounter and they were

00:22:25.769 --> 00:22:28.289
getting ready to leave. And so I said, before

00:22:28.289 --> 00:22:31.450
you go, will you hold my hand? And so he reached

00:22:31.450 --> 00:22:34.690
across and he grabbed my right hand. And then

00:22:34.690 --> 00:22:37.529
I woke up. And then the first thing to read is

00:22:37.529 --> 00:22:40.990
for I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand.

00:22:41.089 --> 00:22:45.299
And so it was like, You know, you are with me.

00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:48.319
I am not going to be afraid. I am going to you

00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:53.180
have things for me to do. You know, I can't let

00:22:53.180 --> 00:22:56.299
fear hold me back. I can't let my own self -pity

00:22:56.299 --> 00:23:01.079
hold me back. I can't, you know, because it's

00:23:01.079 --> 00:23:04.460
not what I think in my head what it's supposed

00:23:04.460 --> 00:23:08.079
to be. You have something for me and it's good

00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:11.079
because you're good. And so it's like, yes, let's

00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:13.609
do that. Yeah, and we can't get into all the

00:23:13.609 --> 00:23:15.589
places God's taken you since then, but if you

00:23:15.589 --> 00:23:17.470
had been bound by that spirit of fear, you would

00:23:17.470 --> 00:23:20.549
have missed out on so much that God, and people

00:23:20.549 --> 00:23:23.589
around the world would have missed out at so

00:23:23.589 --> 00:23:27.690
much that God wanted to pour out through you

00:23:27.690 --> 00:23:31.710
to people all around the world. Right. Yeah,

00:23:31.710 --> 00:23:35.789
and definitely I've been poured into, you know,

00:23:35.990 --> 00:23:39.670
I'm sure that you've experienced this, like,

00:23:40.029 --> 00:23:44.200
you know, When you say like I'm gonna go and

00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:48.579
help or provide or care for and then you leave

00:23:48.579 --> 00:23:52.000
and you've just been so poured into You know

00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:57.180
the Lord Jesus That situation those people that

00:23:57.180 --> 00:24:01.619
that whole experience brings new life to me,

00:24:01.619 --> 00:24:06.400
so One of the amazing things about God and we

00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:08.579
just talked a little bit about it with you know

00:24:08.579 --> 00:24:11.500
Drawing you out of that spirit of fear is how

00:24:11.500 --> 00:24:15.059
patient he is with us. I mean, he lovingly confronts

00:24:15.059 --> 00:24:18.259
our wrong beliefs and our expectations so that

00:24:18.259 --> 00:24:21.039
we grow into his image, which is what he wants.

00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:23.619
He wants us to be his representation on earth.

00:24:24.099 --> 00:24:26.740
What are some areas in your life where you had

00:24:26.740 --> 00:24:28.960
to let go of faulty thinking and unrealistic

00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:32.960
expectations? Well, probably the most poignant

00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:38.549
in my life was that after you know, living in

00:24:38.549 --> 00:24:41.589
the inner city and having a child and trying

00:24:41.589 --> 00:24:48.670
to navigate being a mom of little, little baby

00:24:48.670 --> 00:24:52.170
and minister on the street is, you know, what

00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:56.490
does that look like? And I had decided that I

00:24:56.490 --> 00:24:58.349
wasn't going to have any more children because

00:24:58.349 --> 00:25:02.910
it was it was really difficult to try to balance,

00:25:02.910 --> 00:25:06.980
you know, either. having a sitter for the child

00:25:06.980 --> 00:25:11.359
or taking the child with me you know so it was

00:25:11.359 --> 00:25:16.160
just anyway you know I had made a decision and

00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:20.799
um God spoke to my heart and it's like no you

00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:24.000
know you're I want you to I want you to have

00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:27.859
more kids and so you're gonna get pregnant and

00:25:27.859 --> 00:25:29.900
you're gonna have a little girl and so it was

00:25:29.900 --> 00:25:33.700
very it was a very specific word You know, and,

00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:37.180
um, in Gary's family, there were five grandsons.

00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:41.859
And so his parents were just can't wait to have

00:25:41.859 --> 00:25:44.960
a granddaughter. You know, everybody was so excited.

00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:49.480
And because I was so assured of what I heard,

00:25:49.480 --> 00:25:51.400
you know, that we said, well, we're going to

00:25:51.400 --> 00:25:55.019
have a little girl. And so then it was just like

00:25:55.019 --> 00:25:59.140
that. I don't know. Everybody was rejoicing.

00:25:59.140 --> 00:26:01.210
You're kind of floating. You're like. Well, this

00:26:01.210 --> 00:26:04.829
is awesome. I'm so privileged to bring the first

00:26:04.829 --> 00:26:12.710
granddaughter to the family. So it was very tragic

00:26:12.710 --> 00:26:18.369
when we discovered that she had died, that she

00:26:18.369 --> 00:26:24.390
was stillborn. And she died before we delivered

00:26:24.390 --> 00:26:29.289
her. So that was even a process of... having

00:26:29.289 --> 00:26:36.589
to wait for her delivery. And so I just had so

00:26:36.589 --> 00:26:41.329
imagined in my own understanding that I was gonna

00:26:41.329 --> 00:26:49.069
brush her hair and twirl her in her dresses and

00:26:49.069 --> 00:26:53.589
giggle about boys with her. So I had already...

00:26:54.089 --> 00:26:58.430
built out this entire life. And so I got so angry

00:26:58.430 --> 00:27:03.930
with the Lord, because that's like, why? You

00:27:03.930 --> 00:27:05.970
know, I was happy. I wasn't going to have any

00:27:05.970 --> 00:27:11.450
more kids. I kind of had my path already, you

00:27:11.450 --> 00:27:14.130
know, planned out. And then you came and you

00:27:14.130 --> 00:27:18.809
interrupted it. And so now she's dead. You know,

00:27:18.970 --> 00:27:25.009
how does that fit in? And I carried a incredible

00:27:25.009 --> 00:27:29.109
grudge holding God in contempt and being so angry

00:27:29.109 --> 00:27:33.450
and it wasn't until I was like working through

00:27:33.450 --> 00:27:40.369
um training for becoming a counselor that he

00:27:40.369 --> 00:27:45.150
could reveal that to me just such anger and you

00:27:45.150 --> 00:27:48.230
were just talking about how patient he is because

00:27:48.230 --> 00:27:53.430
he allowed me in all of those 12 years to um

00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:57.180
have other children, to minister next to Gary,

00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:02.400
to see miracles and the wonders of his love take

00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:06.539
place. At the whole time when I was holding a

00:28:06.539 --> 00:28:09.940
part of my heart that I was so angry at him.

00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:14.380
And, you know, it's like you took you took our

00:28:14.380 --> 00:28:17.200
daughter, you hold the keys to life and death.

00:28:17.500 --> 00:28:20.619
And so you could have you could have intervened.

00:28:20.619 --> 00:28:26.539
And so it wasn't until like that I saw how angry

00:28:26.539 --> 00:28:29.480
I was, you know, because it is written that our

00:28:29.480 --> 00:28:32.819
hearts are deceitfully wicked. And so I was,

00:28:32.819 --> 00:28:40.319
I was willing to just project like God is good.

00:28:40.500 --> 00:28:45.900
He's trustworthy. He's patient. And So I remember

00:28:45.900 --> 00:28:48.819
telling my friend it's like, you know, I took

00:28:48.819 --> 00:28:54.779
her to Katie's grave and I said, you know Maybe

00:28:54.779 --> 00:28:56.940
some other day I'm gonna have more understanding

00:28:56.940 --> 00:29:00.420
but for right now I just have to trust God You

00:29:00.420 --> 00:29:04.039
know and that that sounds so pious and holy or

00:29:04.039 --> 00:29:07.160
whatever. But and you know, there was this underlying

00:29:07.160 --> 00:29:13.049
anger You know and just cut you could have done

00:29:13.049 --> 00:29:15.809
something, you know, she could have been here.

00:29:16.329 --> 00:29:20.690
And just very, very merciful fully, you know,

00:29:20.849 --> 00:29:25.410
God let me see my anger to repent. I was like,

00:29:25.410 --> 00:29:28.329
God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry because you are

00:29:28.329 --> 00:29:33.670
perfect. You are good. And how dare me to, you

00:29:33.670 --> 00:29:37.250
know, put this on you. And he did bring that

00:29:37.250 --> 00:29:40.299
scripture, you know. to trust in the Lord with

00:29:40.299 --> 00:29:43.099
all of your heart and do not lean on your own

00:29:43.099 --> 00:29:46.339
understanding but in all of your ways acknowledge

00:29:46.339 --> 00:29:50.339
him and he'll direct your path and so I even

00:29:50.339 --> 00:29:53.519
had a dream about her you know because I was

00:29:53.519 --> 00:29:56.740
doing counseling at the time and I was driving

00:29:56.740 --> 00:30:01.200
home from a long day at you know just walking

00:30:01.200 --> 00:30:05.980
through life with people and I had had this dream

00:30:05.980 --> 00:30:09.240
where I She was probably like eight or nine,

00:30:09.460 --> 00:30:13.339
guileless face, big brown curls, you know. So

00:30:13.339 --> 00:30:15.019
I just kind of picked her up like a toddler,

00:30:16.079 --> 00:30:19.200
eight or nine. And just, you know, she wrapped

00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:22.200
her arms around my neck and her legs around my

00:30:22.200 --> 00:30:26.240
waist. And I just held her. And so as I was driving

00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:30.440
home and I said, oh, that could have been Katie.

00:30:31.339 --> 00:30:34.559
And the Holy Spirit said, that was, that was

00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:39.140
Katie. You know, so just to have that precious

00:30:39.140 --> 00:30:43.079
introduction, you know, because I always believed

00:30:43.079 --> 00:30:46.200
in my heart that she was in his presence, you

00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:51.690
know, and and Katie Catherine, Kate, all of those,

00:30:51.970 --> 00:30:55.769
they mean, they mean pure, like the name, that

00:30:55.769 --> 00:30:58.509
name means pure, and then her middle name is

00:30:58.509 --> 00:31:01.970
Joy. So it's like, she would always be pure.

00:31:02.150 --> 00:31:04.250
She would always know the joy of the Lord, you

00:31:04.250 --> 00:31:06.430
know, she would always be in his presence. And

00:31:06.430 --> 00:31:09.950
so I'm, you know, I'm thankful. I'm thankful

00:31:09.950 --> 00:31:12.190
she's there and I'll get to meet her one day.

00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:16.400
Yeah. And not that anyone would ever take her

00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:19.160
place, but God did give you a daughter. Yes.

00:31:19.319 --> 00:31:22.259
Yes, He did. Who is another daughter. Another

00:31:22.259 --> 00:31:26.000
daughter. Yep. So I have three sons and a daughter,

00:31:26.240 --> 00:31:30.400
which is amazing. God does bring restoration

00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:32.900
when we allow Him to do that in our lives. And

00:31:32.900 --> 00:31:34.900
boy, sometimes it's a real struggle. And we do

00:31:34.900 --> 00:31:36.740
have to get over the anger and disappointment

00:31:36.740 --> 00:31:44.289
and unrealistic expectations. things that we

00:31:44.289 --> 00:31:48.289
assume, we have to lay those all down. It's that

00:31:48.289 --> 00:31:51.609
living sacrifice, you know, we always have to

00:31:51.609 --> 00:31:56.049
keep laying down those things that even become

00:31:56.049 --> 00:32:00.849
little gods in our life. Yes, yes, yeah, definitely.

00:32:02.329 --> 00:32:08.509
Before she was born, she had, in some ways, become

00:32:08.509 --> 00:32:14.779
an idol to me. So it's like, wow, I didn't, I

00:32:14.779 --> 00:32:18.500
wasn't expecting that, you know. Eventually you

00:32:18.500 --> 00:32:22.980
guys moved to Colorado and there through kind

00:32:22.980 --> 00:32:25.559
of a painful journey, another painful journey,

00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:28.200
God gave you really a deeper understanding of

00:32:28.200 --> 00:32:31.099
worship. How did that come about and what did

00:32:31.099 --> 00:32:34.839
you realize about worship? Okay, yes. Thank you

00:32:34.839 --> 00:32:40.000
for asking that was We came to Colorado Springs

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:45.319
in 2008 and then in 2009 a church plant started

00:32:45.319 --> 00:32:51.859
in our basement and with two other couples dear

00:32:51.859 --> 00:32:57.299
dear friends we decided to plant a church and

00:32:57.299 --> 00:33:02.720
My husband and one of the other leads you know

00:33:02.720 --> 00:33:06.599
they we were meeting in our living room and they

00:33:06.599 --> 00:33:10.420
commissioned me to be the worship pastor at this

00:33:10.420 --> 00:33:13.740
particular church plant and then they commissioned

00:33:13.740 --> 00:33:17.759
my dear friend the other one of the other wives

00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:26.319
to be the women's pastor and so um i i had enormous

00:33:26.319 --> 00:33:31.319
dreams for this particular church and how I wanted,

00:33:31.539 --> 00:33:36.119
you know, I didn't want the worship to be about

00:33:36.119 --> 00:33:40.359
any one personality. I wanted there to be an

00:33:40.359 --> 00:33:42.400
orchestra. I wanted there to be a choir. I just,

00:33:42.519 --> 00:33:46.019
you know, I was dreaming big and there was a

00:33:46.019 --> 00:33:47.839
lot of stuff that I wouldn't be able to do by

00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:55.230
myself. And so I knew of very talented person

00:33:55.230 --> 00:33:59.470
that I thought would be great to help with this.

00:34:00.329 --> 00:34:07.089
As it turns out, I wasn't what they wanted for

00:34:07.089 --> 00:34:11.170
the worship. And so within a very short time,

00:34:11.190 --> 00:34:14.710
it only took maybe about six weeks after hiring

00:34:14.710 --> 00:34:20.659
them, that I was... my role was greatly diminished.

00:34:21.260 --> 00:34:24.260
And so then I was no longer a part of that team.

00:34:25.500 --> 00:34:28.380
But being the senior pastor's wife, I couldn't

00:34:28.380 --> 00:34:32.340
not go. I was required to be at staff meetings.

00:34:32.420 --> 00:34:37.260
I was required to be at every service. And it

00:34:37.260 --> 00:34:40.739
was heartbreaking. It was heart wrenching. It

00:34:40.739 --> 00:34:44.699
was almost kind of like... human services came

00:34:44.699 --> 00:34:47.519
in and took my child and said, okay, you watch

00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:52.199
me how I'm gonna raise your child. And there

00:34:52.199 --> 00:34:57.619
was nothing, it was extremely humiliating and

00:34:57.619 --> 00:35:02.440
painful, a lot of betrayal. And so in the staff

00:35:02.440 --> 00:35:05.860
meeting, someone said, well, we have a shut -in

00:35:05.860 --> 00:35:09.699
and we really need someone to go visit. And very

00:35:09.699 --> 00:35:13.980
grudgingly, I was like, well, I'm not doing anything.

00:35:14.179 --> 00:35:17.800
My passive aggressive statement, I'm not doing

00:35:17.800 --> 00:35:22.659
anything. I'll go see them. And God broke my

00:35:22.659 --> 00:35:26.559
heart once I was there. This person was just

00:35:26.559 --> 00:35:33.440
living in a squalor. They were a hoarder. It

00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:38.300
stank. There were roaches crawling on this person.

00:35:38.519 --> 00:35:42.739
I mean, it was... It was a mess. And so I was

00:35:42.739 --> 00:35:50.199
like, I'm sorry, you know, my concerns about

00:35:50.199 --> 00:35:52.780
not being used on the platform or singing songs

00:35:52.780 --> 00:35:57.480
is far less than, you know, how this person is

00:35:57.480 --> 00:36:01.320
living and what they're going through. And so

00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:06.530
just, there were, you know, we took action and

00:36:06.530 --> 00:36:08.610
tried, you know, to help her as best we could

00:36:08.610 --> 00:36:11.769
and got the youth group involved and got, you

00:36:11.769 --> 00:36:14.869
know, but that just kind of led to other things.

00:36:15.210 --> 00:36:20.230
So now we're making baskets for people in need.

00:36:21.130 --> 00:36:24.429
And so there's probably, I don't know, anywhere

00:36:24.429 --> 00:36:30.230
between 40 and 60 people. compiling these baskets

00:36:30.230 --> 00:36:34.690
and I just looked back over the room and God

00:36:34.690 --> 00:36:37.489
said you are leading all of these people in worship

00:36:37.489 --> 00:36:41.150
and it was so profound because I didn't I didn't

00:36:41.150 --> 00:36:45.690
have a stage there wasn't a band I wasn't singing

00:36:45.690 --> 00:36:48.010
a song there weren't lights there wasn't smoke

00:36:48.010 --> 00:36:52.440
there wasn't you know, like some hip thing going

00:36:52.440 --> 00:36:56.480
on. It was just people serving and rejoicing

00:36:56.480 --> 00:37:00.079
that they could give and help someone else. And

00:37:00.079 --> 00:37:03.280
I was like, Lord, thank you. This means so much

00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:05.659
to me because that's what I want to do. You know,

00:37:05.679 --> 00:37:08.960
I want to lead people in worship. But it was

00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:14.880
like a whole different, completely different

00:37:14.880 --> 00:37:19.789
side of worship or seeing worship in a place

00:37:19.789 --> 00:37:24.730
where you can show people the majesty, the glory,

00:37:24.969 --> 00:37:30.030
the love, the patience, the redeeming parts of

00:37:30.030 --> 00:37:33.929
God and let them join you in that and say like,

00:37:34.030 --> 00:37:38.190
come on, enter into this place and pour your

00:37:38.190 --> 00:37:42.809
life out for others. And this is an act of sacrifice

00:37:42.809 --> 00:37:50.079
to God. And so, yeah, just... completely rocked

00:37:50.079 --> 00:37:54.099
me from that kind of Western mindset that worship

00:37:54.099 --> 00:37:58.960
has to look like this, you know. And I was just

00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:02.300
leaving out the whole thing of serving the poor,

00:38:02.679 --> 00:38:05.579
caring for an orphan, taking care of widows,

00:38:05.980 --> 00:38:10.760
you know. That is the purest of all religions.

00:38:11.000 --> 00:38:13.619
It's undefiled, you know, Jamie tells us. And

00:38:13.619 --> 00:38:16.889
so it's like, Oh, absolutely. You know, I want

00:38:16.889 --> 00:38:21.269
to lead you in a worship like that. You know,

00:38:21.409 --> 00:38:24.590
not something that's going to glorify me, exalt

00:38:24.590 --> 00:38:27.650
me. You know, I leave the platform. People are

00:38:27.650 --> 00:38:30.369
like, wow, that was really awesome. It's like,

00:38:30.590 --> 00:38:33.869
no, we're supposed to be focused on Jesus. We're

00:38:33.869 --> 00:38:38.590
supposed to be, you know, adoring him and enjoying

00:38:38.590 --> 00:38:42.030
his beauty and his radiance and his splendor

00:38:42.030 --> 00:38:46.989
and who he is. not what I could do. So, yeah,

00:38:47.050 --> 00:38:52.949
it was, again, the mercy of God. Yeah, I've heard

00:38:52.949 --> 00:38:54.889
a quote, and honestly, I can't remember who said

00:38:54.889 --> 00:38:57.429
it initially, but obedience is the highest form

00:38:57.429 --> 00:39:01.530
of worship. Oh, yeah, I love that. Yeah, it might

00:39:01.530 --> 00:39:04.309
have been Doug, actually, Doug Stringer. I know

00:39:04.309 --> 00:39:06.929
I've heard him say it. He might have been the...

00:39:06.929 --> 00:39:09.650
Okay, the author of that. Yeah, author. He may

00:39:09.650 --> 00:39:10.989
have gotten it from somewhere else. I don't know,

00:39:10.989 --> 00:39:12.849
but obedience is the highest form of worship,

00:39:12.909 --> 00:39:17.230
yeah. So Kelly as a mom you know you're doing

00:39:17.230 --> 00:39:19.130
all this ministry but your mother duties never

00:39:19.130 --> 00:39:23.949
went away right and being a mom can have joyful

00:39:23.949 --> 00:39:26.329
seasons and they can have painful seasons right

00:39:26.329 --> 00:39:29.889
and you really did experience what kind of another

00:39:29.889 --> 00:39:35.829
level of pain that required deeper surrender

00:39:35.829 --> 00:39:38.690
in your life when each of your four children

00:39:39.039 --> 00:39:41.440
struggled with addiction. I mean, it's a weight

00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:44.699
no parent wants to carry. What were you feeling

00:39:44.699 --> 00:39:46.599
at that time? And more importantly, what did

00:39:46.599 --> 00:39:49.980
God say and do in the midst of that time? Right.

00:39:50.840 --> 00:39:57.519
Well, another season of grace, just grace that

00:39:57.519 --> 00:40:01.320
had no end, you know, and because they were all,

00:40:01.579 --> 00:40:04.340
they all kind of went through their own journeys

00:40:04.340 --> 00:40:09.420
at different times, you know, and Like our our

00:40:09.420 --> 00:40:17.920
second son he really he was struggling and Just

00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:24.119
feeling Well, he wanted to belong and so his

00:40:24.119 --> 00:40:28.639
senior year of high school he started drinking

00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:32.739
heavily, you know to be part of the crowd and

00:40:32.739 --> 00:40:36.449
He was actually living out of state when he was

00:40:36.449 --> 00:40:43.789
going to school. And so that kind of was his

00:40:43.789 --> 00:40:47.730
springboard into addiction. So because alcohol

00:40:47.730 --> 00:40:50.849
like after he graduated high school, alcohol

00:40:50.849 --> 00:40:56.389
wasn't enough. And then before he went to college,

00:40:56.550 --> 00:41:00.110
he actually followed his younger brother to Boston

00:41:00.110 --> 00:41:03.690
to college. One was going to photography school

00:41:03.690 --> 00:41:10.590
and the other one was going to Boston, not Boston

00:41:10.590 --> 00:41:13.150
College, but just the city college, like Bay

00:41:13.150 --> 00:41:18.250
City College, and taking management courses.

00:41:20.860 --> 00:41:27.539
The one came back more addicted to alcohol and

00:41:27.539 --> 00:41:30.679
taking prescription drugs because alcohol wasn't

00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:35.219
enough. And so by the time he got back to Colorado,

00:41:35.380 --> 00:41:41.280
he was really in the worst of ways and needed

00:41:41.280 --> 00:41:45.610
to go into rehab. and you know started that journey

00:41:45.610 --> 00:41:48.710
for him and he was he was kind of getting on

00:41:48.710 --> 00:41:50.909
his feet and getting established that his younger

00:41:50.909 --> 00:41:56.610
brother that had been away at college started

00:41:56.610 --> 00:42:00.530
shooting heroin and then we had to ask him to

00:42:00.530 --> 00:42:03.909
leave our home because he's his first name is

00:42:03.909 --> 00:42:07.590
Gary so he had access to you know the checking

00:42:07.590 --> 00:42:11.130
account and credit cards and all that kind of

00:42:11.130 --> 00:42:14.750
stuff so which is hard because we live in Colorado

00:42:14.750 --> 00:42:18.170
and it's very cold here, you know, to live homeless

00:42:18.170 --> 00:42:22.590
on this street in Colorado is, you know, it's

00:42:22.590 --> 00:42:26.010
painful. Not only, not only because of your addiction,

00:42:26.230 --> 00:42:29.429
but the weather is, you know, doesn't lend itself

00:42:29.429 --> 00:42:34.889
to living outdoors, obviously. So, yeah, I mean,

00:42:35.130 --> 00:42:39.710
God in his, in his love for me and for them,

00:42:41.670 --> 00:42:49.369
He really bolstered me to believe prayers. Because

00:42:49.369 --> 00:42:53.590
once I found out that I was pregnant, Jody, because

00:42:53.590 --> 00:42:57.590
I do believe praying the scriptures, because

00:42:57.590 --> 00:43:01.269
it is written that we have confidence to know

00:43:01.269 --> 00:43:04.289
that he hears us when we pray his will. when

00:43:04.289 --> 00:43:07.409
we ask according to his will. There's no better

00:43:07.409 --> 00:43:10.309
way to be established in God's will, but then

00:43:10.309 --> 00:43:15.429
to pray the scripture. And so, and Isaiah says,

00:43:16.070 --> 00:43:20.429
it is written that there are children without

00:43:20.429 --> 00:43:23.590
blemish, well -favored in appearance, skillful

00:43:23.590 --> 00:43:27.570
in all wisdom, and that they are obedient. They

00:43:27.570 --> 00:43:30.480
are obedient to the Lord. And they have undisturbed

00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:33.019
composure. They have peace and undisturbed composure.

00:43:33.099 --> 00:43:36.679
So I had always been praying for them that when

00:43:36.679 --> 00:43:39.840
I found out for each child that I was pregnant.

00:43:40.420 --> 00:43:42.719
So I'm thinking, God, they're not anywhere near

00:43:42.719 --> 00:43:46.039
a disciple of God. You know, they're not a disciple

00:43:46.039 --> 00:43:51.300
of the Lord on any level. So I do feel a bit

00:43:51.300 --> 00:43:55.840
betrayed by you for that. But I've learned over

00:43:55.840 --> 00:43:57.840
the years, I learned through my experience with

00:43:57.840 --> 00:44:02.400
KB, I learned through my experience, you know,

00:44:02.519 --> 00:44:06.699
with expecting things that God didn't say, you

00:44:06.699 --> 00:44:09.599
know, leaning on my own understanding. So it's

00:44:09.599 --> 00:44:13.039
like, all right, I know not to go there. So,

00:44:13.039 --> 00:44:14.739
but you're going to have to help me navigate

00:44:14.739 --> 00:44:19.730
this because I'm, I'm trusting but I'm not seeing

00:44:19.730 --> 00:44:24.929
the evidence of the fruit. And honestly, sometimes

00:44:24.929 --> 00:44:29.730
when we prayed, it got worse. It would go from

00:44:29.730 --> 00:44:35.889
bad to worse and then to deplorable. So it would

00:44:35.889 --> 00:44:40.849
definitely make one pause and think, I got to

00:44:40.849 --> 00:44:46.030
try something else. Prayer's not working. And

00:44:46.030 --> 00:44:50.489
that's the lie of the enemy, you know, to try

00:44:50.489 --> 00:44:53.730
to derail us from our prayers and from actually

00:44:53.730 --> 00:44:57.650
trusting in God and having that faith to know

00:44:57.650 --> 00:45:00.510
that he's hearing us when we're crying out. And

00:45:00.510 --> 00:45:03.550
then you go through all kinds of shame and guilt

00:45:03.550 --> 00:45:06.050
because you're thinking, should I have been more

00:45:06.050 --> 00:45:09.110
strict? Should I have been more lenient? You

00:45:09.110 --> 00:45:13.320
know, should I have... What kind of path do you

00:45:13.320 --> 00:45:17.019
need to take so that you can try to rescue your

00:45:17.019 --> 00:45:20.900
children from making choices that are ruining

00:45:20.900 --> 00:45:27.000
their life and bringing such damage? Tragically,

00:45:27.199 --> 00:45:30.420
there's so many children that don't make it.

00:45:32.420 --> 00:45:38.530
Parents are standing over a grave. You know to

00:45:38.530 --> 00:45:41.130
do that was Katie. I didn't want to do that again

00:45:41.130 --> 00:45:45.030
You know, I I I love that what God showed you

00:45:45.030 --> 00:45:47.409
when you were kind of feeling like you failed

00:45:47.409 --> 00:45:51.070
as a parent, right? Yeah, and and tell share

00:45:51.070 --> 00:45:53.909
what he what he what he spoke to you about that

00:45:53.909 --> 00:45:56.570
He said my children Adam and Eve they brought

00:45:56.570 --> 00:46:03.219
sin into the entire world And so, wow, okay.

00:46:03.699 --> 00:46:07.260
And you're perfect. You are the perfect parent.

00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:12.039
And I know that I am not perfect. I don't do

00:46:12.039 --> 00:46:16.239
things well like that. I mean, I don't offer

00:46:16.239 --> 00:46:19.280
a stone when they ask for a piece of bread. And

00:46:19.280 --> 00:46:21.460
I'm certainly not gonna give them a serpent if

00:46:21.460 --> 00:46:25.760
they ask for a fish. You know, but you are perfect.

00:46:26.920 --> 00:46:29.460
And, you know, Adam and Eve, they failed you.

00:46:29.460 --> 00:46:33.800
They rebelled. And we actually, Gary and I have

00:46:33.800 --> 00:46:38.500
a podcast that we did with our son, Evan. And

00:46:38.500 --> 00:46:40.579
he does share, you know, some of the stories

00:46:40.579 --> 00:46:45.199
he said I wanted to send. You know, it was there

00:46:45.199 --> 00:46:48.360
was pleasure in it for a season. Of course, it

00:46:48.360 --> 00:46:51.539
was rebellious and it was wrong. You know, so

00:46:51.539 --> 00:46:56.019
it It helped us to not keep beating ourselves

00:46:56.019 --> 00:47:00.320
up. Like, what did we do? How can we change it?

00:47:00.340 --> 00:47:03.340
How do we make it different? And obviously, you

00:47:03.340 --> 00:47:05.679
know, if there's something that comes to mind

00:47:05.679 --> 00:47:10.800
that we fell our children in, we want to be quick,

00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:15.119
you know, to answer for that and to make restoration

00:47:15.119 --> 00:47:19.280
and, you know, to connect with them, you know,

00:47:19.280 --> 00:47:24.800
to bring, to bring You know, we don't want to,

00:47:25.079 --> 00:47:27.500
you know, oh, well, I had every right. I was

00:47:27.500 --> 00:47:30.300
the parent. I could do that. You know, that was

00:47:30.300 --> 00:47:34.719
me. If I'm doing wrong, I am so sorry. God did

00:47:34.719 --> 00:47:38.639
give you kind of a dramatic turnaround one day

00:47:38.639 --> 00:47:42.860
with one of your sons who had decided they were

00:47:42.860 --> 00:47:46.360
just not going to go back to the, so we're living.

00:47:47.579 --> 00:47:50.079
Share that story because I think that'll be encouraging

00:47:50.079 --> 00:47:56.179
to maybe some parents who are clinging to those

00:47:56.179 --> 00:47:58.760
prayers and hopes for their loved ones. I had

00:47:58.760 --> 00:48:03.659
landed with Elliot, our son Elliot, I had landed

00:48:03.659 --> 00:48:08.389
in giving thanks to God for he is good. and his

00:48:08.389 --> 00:48:12.250
mercy endures forever. And of course, Jehoshaphat

00:48:12.250 --> 00:48:16.809
like has this entire scene in the Old Testament

00:48:16.809 --> 00:48:19.510
where the Moabites are against the Ammonites.

00:48:19.690 --> 00:48:24.030
I mean, it's just like there are so many, many

00:48:24.030 --> 00:48:29.010
enemies, you know, and when you are battling

00:48:29.010 --> 00:48:33.210
powers of darkness for your children and for

00:48:33.210 --> 00:48:36.179
the souls of your children, sometimes you The

00:48:36.179 --> 00:48:40.500
front line is everywhere. It surrounds you. And

00:48:40.500 --> 00:48:45.840
so I was like, God, I will not let go of this.

00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:48.940
This will be my anthem. And Elliot came, you

00:48:48.940 --> 00:48:50.880
know, we were in the car. We were ready to take

00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:53.159
him to the airport to get him back to sober living.

00:48:53.539 --> 00:48:57.079
And he's like, no, I'm not going. I, you know,

00:48:57.639 --> 00:49:02.059
this girl is calling me and I used to live there

00:49:02.059 --> 00:49:04.480
and I'm going to go back there. I have a place.

00:49:06.279 --> 00:49:09.539
And so he got in his car and he drove away. And

00:49:09.539 --> 00:49:12.239
I was like, God, I'm going to give you thanks.

00:49:13.039 --> 00:49:15.139
I'm going to give you thanks for your good and

00:49:15.139 --> 00:49:18.360
your mercy and yours forever. And you know, I

00:49:18.360 --> 00:49:21.079
mean, it was kind of, I wanted to be tempted,

00:49:21.420 --> 00:49:24.239
like, oh no, it's going to be another year. It's

00:49:24.239 --> 00:49:28.559
going to be, and then there's possible more arrest

00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:32.559
or. more hospital visits, or he could possibly

00:49:32.559 --> 00:49:35.300
overdose, or he could get in trouble with the

00:49:35.300 --> 00:49:40.860
law again. And I was like, nope, nope, God, I'm

00:49:40.860 --> 00:49:43.639
going to give you thanks for your good and your

00:49:43.639 --> 00:49:46.760
mercy endures forever. Now this particular day,

00:49:46.780 --> 00:49:50.460
it was kind of gray outside. It wasn't like this,

00:49:50.460 --> 00:49:53.820
you know, bright blue sunny day that we normally

00:49:53.820 --> 00:49:57.360
have in Colorado, but it wasn't raining. It wasn't

00:49:57.360 --> 00:50:01.840
windy. And so I just went out and we have a deck

00:50:01.840 --> 00:50:04.219
that's covered. And so I was just sitting out,

00:50:04.619 --> 00:50:07.480
I give you thanks, God. I give you thanks. You're

00:50:07.480 --> 00:50:10.320
so good. You're so good and your mercy endures

00:50:10.320 --> 00:50:14.599
forever. I was there for maybe about 20, 25 minutes.

00:50:15.179 --> 00:50:18.380
And during that time, Jody, it started raining

00:50:18.380 --> 00:50:22.059
and then the wind picked up and then it was raining

00:50:22.059 --> 00:50:26.449
horizontally. And then it was thunder and lightning,

00:50:26.750 --> 00:50:31.210
and it started hailing. I mean, to me, this was

00:50:31.210 --> 00:50:35.050
a physical expression of the spiritual battle

00:50:35.050 --> 00:50:39.329
that was going on for our son. I was like, God,

00:50:39.530 --> 00:50:41.750
I'm going to give you thanks. I mean, give you

00:50:41.750 --> 00:50:45.750
thanks. You're so good, and your mercy endures.

00:50:47.349 --> 00:50:49.869
And Gary came out on the deck and he said, Elliot

00:50:49.869 --> 00:50:54.139
just called. The storm is too bad. He's turning

00:50:54.139 --> 00:50:56.980
around. He wants us to take him to the airport.

00:50:57.239 --> 00:51:04.539
He's gonna go back to soberland Oh Give thanks

00:51:04.539 --> 00:51:08.519
to the Lord For your good God, you're so good

00:51:08.519 --> 00:51:12.780
and your mercy endures forever If you won that

00:51:12.780 --> 00:51:16.440
battle for us You're so so thankful that that

00:51:16.440 --> 00:51:22.050
wasn't the last struggle that he had had, but

00:51:22.050 --> 00:51:25.010
it was definitely a turning point. It was like

00:51:25.010 --> 00:51:31.210
another victory that God moved him further away

00:51:31.210 --> 00:51:34.929
from the darkness and into the light of God's

00:51:34.929 --> 00:51:38.510
glorious son, you know, in that kingdom. And

00:51:38.510 --> 00:51:44.590
it was truly, you know, one of those milestones

00:51:44.590 --> 00:51:48.460
or those victories that I can look back on. And

00:51:48.460 --> 00:51:53.599
I just encourage parents, like, just give thanks

00:51:53.599 --> 00:51:57.159
to God, give thanks to God, for he's good and

00:51:57.159 --> 00:52:00.960
his mercy endures forever. Amen. Well, Kelly,

00:52:01.019 --> 00:52:03.320
before we wrap up, I mean, there's so much more

00:52:03.320 --> 00:52:06.800
we could talk about. But before we wrap up today,

00:52:07.000 --> 00:52:10.199
is there a woman in the Bible whose story has

00:52:10.199 --> 00:52:12.940
really spoken to you and whose journey has encouraged

00:52:12.940 --> 00:52:15.989
or shaped your own? Um, I'm going to have to

00:52:15.989 --> 00:52:19.949
say the Shunammite, the Shunammite woman who,

00:52:19.949 --> 00:52:23.530
um, you know, I mean, it's just, it's like, here's

00:52:23.530 --> 00:52:27.590
her, uh, family, her husband, their household.

00:52:27.929 --> 00:52:29.630
I mean, they didn't, they didn't have children,

00:52:29.630 --> 00:52:32.670
but they were, they were doing fine. They were

00:52:32.670 --> 00:52:37.389
well off and, um, you know, Elijah, Elijah keeps

00:52:37.389 --> 00:52:40.449
coming through and she makes a space for him.

00:52:40.949 --> 00:52:45.309
She, so she's, she's welcoming. God into her

00:52:45.309 --> 00:52:47.989
home. She wants to be taught the things of the

00:52:47.989 --> 00:52:51.250
Lord. She wants to bring honor to God. She wants

00:52:51.250 --> 00:52:56.329
to have a life that is an example, you know,

00:52:56.329 --> 00:53:00.710
to her neighbors. Like, let's honor God. Let's

00:53:00.710 --> 00:53:04.510
love on the people that belong to God. You know,

00:53:04.550 --> 00:53:07.889
I mean, there was this whole thing. And then,

00:53:08.070 --> 00:53:11.480
you know, of course, Elijah says, and you're

00:53:11.480 --> 00:53:13.960
gonna have a son. You don't have any children,

00:53:13.960 --> 00:53:17.480
you're gonna have a son. And then, of course,

00:53:17.480 --> 00:53:19.840
when he's out in the field and he's not feeling

00:53:19.840 --> 00:53:23.460
well, and then the husband sends him back in,

00:53:23.460 --> 00:53:29.139
go to your mom, and he dies in her arms. That

00:53:29.139 --> 00:53:33.320
woman's fate, I would love to have that kind

00:53:33.320 --> 00:53:37.860
of fate. Because time and time again, her husband

00:53:37.860 --> 00:53:41.860
asked her, Is something wrong? What's going on?

00:53:42.579 --> 00:53:46.519
And she said, all is well. Her response is, all

00:53:46.519 --> 00:53:51.179
is well. And then she tells the servant, saddle

00:53:51.179 --> 00:53:56.659
my donkey. And he's like, what's going on? And

00:53:56.659 --> 00:54:00.880
she said, all is well. Now here's her son. He's

00:54:00.880 --> 00:54:05.619
dead. But her faith is saying, all is well. Like

00:54:05.619 --> 00:54:10.980
she knows so well. thoroughly, so trustingly

00:54:10.980 --> 00:54:18.179
who God is that her response to even Elisha's,

00:54:18.179 --> 00:54:21.179
you know, servant comes and says, you know, what's

00:54:21.179 --> 00:54:25.960
what's going on? All is well. All is well. So

00:54:25.960 --> 00:54:33.039
that's that's where I pray that my life is bolstered

00:54:33.039 --> 00:54:38.019
by that. that whatever the storm is, whatever

00:54:38.019 --> 00:54:43.360
the trial, whatever the sorrow, even whatever

00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:47.639
the joys are, I can still say all is well. All

00:54:47.639 --> 00:54:53.639
is well. She's one of my favorite women in the

00:54:53.639 --> 00:54:56.579
Bible as well. In fact, I did a podcast about

00:54:56.579 --> 00:55:00.260
her, I don't know, last year. And the thing that

00:55:00.260 --> 00:55:02.480
really blessed me about her is that she made

00:55:02.480 --> 00:55:05.619
room for God's presence in her home. I mean,

00:55:05.619 --> 00:55:09.360
she had the house built so the prophet could

00:55:09.360 --> 00:55:13.219
stay there. And she wasn't even an Israelite.

00:55:13.559 --> 00:55:15.639
So she had to go out and find him. She had to

00:55:15.639 --> 00:55:18.559
go find him and compel him to come to her house.

00:55:18.579 --> 00:55:21.420
And she made room for him. And she just wanted

00:55:21.420 --> 00:55:23.659
the presence of God in her home. She just loved

00:55:23.659 --> 00:55:30.539
it. Yeah, what you're sharing that is so beautiful.

00:55:30.699 --> 00:55:34.619
Yeah. So to always, always make room and have

00:55:34.619 --> 00:55:38.340
space and, and to leave others, you know, I'm

00:55:38.340 --> 00:55:41.739
sure that the others were watching her and they

00:55:41.739 --> 00:55:44.659
were made them curious. Like what, why would

00:55:44.659 --> 00:55:47.019
you do that? Or why would you want that? You

00:55:47.019 --> 00:55:49.780
know? And then like all of those conversations

00:55:49.780 --> 00:55:53.079
that she had with her neighbors that will never,

00:55:53.099 --> 00:55:55.400
you know, we, we won't get to know this side

00:55:55.400 --> 00:55:58.889
of her, you know, but meet her in heaven and

00:55:58.889 --> 00:56:03.789
that was incredible you know and and and God

00:56:03.789 --> 00:56:05.849
gave you something you didn't even ask for you

00:56:05.849 --> 00:56:09.750
weren't seeking that and then for him to die

00:56:09.750 --> 00:56:13.030
and then you know but you were still in that

00:56:13.030 --> 00:56:15.690
place where you're like all is well yeah that's

00:56:15.690 --> 00:56:18.949
powerful well Kelly thank you so much for sharing

00:56:18.949 --> 00:56:22.269
really honestly brutally honestly uh hearing

00:56:22.269 --> 00:56:25.869
your story It takes me right back to Romans 12,

00:56:25.869 --> 00:56:28.309
1, and 2. At the beginning, we talked about offering

00:56:28.309 --> 00:56:30.449
ourselves as that living sacrifice, and that's

00:56:30.449 --> 00:56:34.949
worship. Verse 2 reminds us that when we do that,

00:56:34.989 --> 00:56:38.150
God transforms us. He renews our minds so we're

00:56:38.150 --> 00:56:41.690
no longer following the patterns of this world,

00:56:41.710 --> 00:56:44.090
but instead we're walking in the fullness of

00:56:44.090 --> 00:56:46.389
His will, and that's where we find that peace

00:56:46.389 --> 00:56:49.269
and that joy. It's so freeing, knowing God's

00:56:49.269 --> 00:56:51.250
will, walking in step with Him, living a life

00:56:51.250 --> 00:56:54.280
that honors Him. and changes us from the inside.

00:56:54.400 --> 00:56:57.019
And it all starts with that worship, that laying

00:56:57.019 --> 00:56:59.739
down that living sacrifice. Kelly, would you

00:56:59.739 --> 00:57:01.820
take a moment to pray for our dear listening

00:57:01.820 --> 00:57:05.079
friends? Thank you, Heavenly Father. Thank you,

00:57:05.099 --> 00:57:08.840
thank you, thank you, Father. We're so, so encouraged,

00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:11.800
so blessed that you would call us your children.

00:57:12.909 --> 00:57:16.570
Thank you Jesus for coming, for obeying the Father,

00:57:16.750 --> 00:57:20.630
for being a sacrifice to us, for humbling yourself,

00:57:20.750 --> 00:57:24.889
for emptying yourself, for giving your life.

00:57:25.590 --> 00:57:29.469
Thank you Jesus for your resurrection. Thank

00:57:29.469 --> 00:57:33.190
you. Thank you that it is written that the Father

00:57:33.190 --> 00:57:38.389
loves us as just as he loves the Son Jesus. Thank

00:57:38.389 --> 00:57:42.170
you. Thank you Jesus for giving your Holy Spirit.

00:57:42.699 --> 00:57:46.539
Thank you, Holy Spirit, for coming to teach us,

00:57:46.559 --> 00:57:50.820
to train us, to mentor us, to comfort us. And

00:57:50.820 --> 00:57:53.460
Holy Spirit, you know who's hearing this prayer

00:57:53.460 --> 00:57:58.340
right now? God, you know exactly what they need.

00:57:58.579 --> 00:58:01.940
You know how many hairs are on their head, Lord.

00:58:02.880 --> 00:58:05.500
Thank you that you've planned this day, you've

00:58:05.500 --> 00:58:09.010
planned this time that I would be praying. And

00:58:09.010 --> 00:58:11.530
Father, I'm asking that by the power of your

00:58:11.530 --> 00:58:14.369
Holy Spirit that you would stir up their hearts

00:58:14.369 --> 00:58:20.309
right now, God. Don't let them be caught in self

00:58:20.309 --> 00:58:26.809
-pity. Don't let them be stuck in a bad mindset,

00:58:26.809 --> 00:58:29.750
Lord. But I'm asking in the mighty name of Jesus

00:58:29.750 --> 00:58:33.570
that you would break old cycles, bad cycles,

00:58:33.570 --> 00:58:39.929
God, that keep them repeating Just hurtful patterns

00:58:39.929 --> 00:58:44.170
of sin, Lord, and choices. Break that right now

00:58:44.170 --> 00:58:47.889
in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Lord, I thank

00:58:47.889 --> 00:58:51.010
you that it is written that you are their glory.

00:58:51.750 --> 00:58:55.550
You are the lifter of their head. I thank you

00:58:55.550 --> 00:58:57.909
that it is written that when their hearts are

00:58:57.909 --> 00:59:01.269
overwhelmed that you lead them to the rock that

00:59:01.269 --> 00:59:04.650
is higher than themselves, Lord. I thank you

00:59:04.650 --> 00:59:08.389
that it is written that you are a hiding place,

00:59:09.010 --> 00:59:12.150
that you preserve their life from pain, that

00:59:12.150 --> 00:59:15.550
you sing songs of deliverance over them, Lord

00:59:15.550 --> 00:59:19.670
God. I pray that our hearts would be tender and

00:59:19.670 --> 00:59:22.849
sensitive and respond to that you're singing.

00:59:23.199 --> 00:59:26.460
That we would respond how you sing to us that

00:59:26.460 --> 00:59:30.300
you love us That you care for us that you provide

00:59:30.300 --> 00:59:33.800
for us that you've made a way for us Lord That

00:59:33.800 --> 00:59:36.920
you have brought down mountains that you're raising

00:59:36.920 --> 00:59:40.300
up valleys that you're making crooked places

00:59:40.300 --> 00:59:45.280
straight and rough places smooth and We respond

00:59:45.280 --> 00:59:49.409
with giving you. Thanks God We give you thanks

00:59:49.409 --> 00:59:53.530
for you're so good. You're so so good Lord and

00:59:53.530 --> 00:59:58.469
your mercy endures Lord I pray that the enemy

00:59:58.469 --> 01:00:01.730
would be silenced right now in the mighty name

01:00:01.730 --> 01:00:06.110
of Jesus Christ And that faith would rise up

01:00:06.110 --> 01:00:11.090
hope rise up and take your place and Lord I pray

01:00:11.090 --> 01:00:15.380
that your daughters would receive a garland of

01:00:15.380 --> 01:00:19.699
praise that they would wear with such beauty,

01:00:20.099 --> 01:00:25.579
with such a presentation, God, they can feel

01:00:25.579 --> 01:00:29.699
this garland of praise resting on them that they

01:00:29.699 --> 01:00:33.179
say, see what the Father has given me. See what

01:00:33.179 --> 01:00:38.800
he has adorned me with. And Lord, we would mirror

01:00:38.800 --> 01:00:43.449
your radiant splendor. Lord, thank you that you

01:00:43.449 --> 01:00:47.710
hold us framed in your promise God and that we

01:00:47.710 --> 01:00:52.929
can say all is well All is well Because God you

01:00:52.929 --> 01:00:57.690
are so good. You're so so good We give you thanks

01:00:57.690 --> 01:01:03.030
in Jesus mighty name Amen, amen. Thank you so

01:01:03.030 --> 01:01:05.949
much for joining us today Let me bless you with

01:01:05.949 --> 01:01:09.869
this word from 2nd Corinthians 12 9 may God's

01:01:09.869 --> 01:01:13.750
power work for you in your weakness as you put

01:01:13.750 --> 01:01:17.369
your trust in Him. May you joyfully offer your

01:01:17.369 --> 01:01:19.949
life as an act of worship and experience the

01:01:19.949 --> 01:01:23.150
richness that God brings and will transform you

01:01:23.150 --> 01:01:25.829
day by day. Don't forget to visit hergodstory

01:01:25.829 --> 01:01:28.469
.org for show notes, scriptures we talked about,

01:01:28.570 --> 01:01:30.690
and to download your free six -week devotional

01:01:30.690 --> 01:01:33.329
on Women of the Bible. It's a great way to strengthen

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01:01:44.539 --> 01:01:48.099
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