Stephanie Vigers: You Are Worthy Of Love

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.799
Hey friends, welcome to the Her God Story podcast

00:00:02.799 --> 00:00:05.339
where you will always hear a great story to encourage

00:00:05.339 --> 00:00:08.400
and inspire you in your walk with God. I'm your

00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:10.900
host, Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody

00:00:10.900 --> 00:00:13.560
Cares America International, author and traveler

00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:17.320
on this journey with Jesus. Have you ever carried

00:00:17.320 --> 00:00:20.500
the weight of rejection or felt unwanted like

00:00:20.500 --> 00:00:23.519
you weren't truly worth loving? Maybe it came

00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:26.140
from family, friends, or even painful circumstances

00:00:26.140 --> 00:00:28.359
beyond your control. You know, those voices can

00:00:28.359 --> 00:00:31.239
echo in our hearts for years, convincing us that

00:00:31.239 --> 00:00:34.740
we're somehow less valuable, less worthy, or

00:00:34.740 --> 00:00:38.979
unlovable. But God tells a different story. In

00:00:38.979 --> 00:00:42.460
Isaiah 43 -4, He declares, you are precious in

00:00:42.460 --> 00:00:46.100
my eyes and honored, and I love you. In Psalm

00:00:46.100 --> 00:00:49.420
27 -10, promises, though your father and mother

00:00:49.420 --> 00:00:53.520
forsake you, the Lord will receive you. No matter

00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:56.119
what others have said or done, no matter how

00:00:56.119 --> 00:00:59.579
much rejection you may have faced, the God who

00:00:59.579 --> 00:01:04.219
made you calls you his beloved. So if you've

00:01:04.219 --> 00:01:06.140
ever questioned your worth or struggled to believe

00:01:06.140 --> 00:01:08.340
that you're loved, this episode is especially

00:01:08.340 --> 00:01:11.859
for you. You'll hear from Stephanie Vigors, whose

00:01:11.859 --> 00:01:14.340
early life was marked by abandonment, abuse,

00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:17.840
and deep wounds of rejection. But God met her

00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:20.019
in that brokenness and showed her that she is

00:01:20.019 --> 00:01:22.900
fearfully and wonderfully made, chosen. forgiven,

00:01:23.459 --> 00:01:26.420
and worthy of his love. And what a testimony

00:01:26.420 --> 00:01:29.459
she now carries. Today Stephanie and her husband

00:01:29.459 --> 00:01:31.980
Darnell co -pastor a church together. They have

00:01:31.980 --> 00:01:34.780
three grown children who love the Lord. She's

00:01:34.780 --> 00:01:37.120
authored two books, co -authored another, hosted

00:01:37.120 --> 00:01:39.799
her own talk show called Awakening the Diamonds,

00:01:40.120 --> 00:01:42.900
and been a guest on other Christian programs.

00:01:43.420 --> 00:01:45.599
What you'll hear in this episode are excerpts

00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:47.560
from my full conversation with Stephanie, which

00:01:47.560 --> 00:01:51.829
was found in episode nine of Her God Story. I

00:01:51.829 --> 00:01:53.930
know her journey will encourage you to believe,

00:01:54.230 --> 00:01:57.609
maybe in a fresh way, that God's love for you

00:01:57.609 --> 00:02:00.930
is unshakable. Welcome, Stephanie. Thank you.

00:02:00.930 --> 00:02:03.069
I'm so happy to be here, so thank you for having

00:02:03.069 --> 00:02:05.569
me. It is my pleasure. Stephanie, your young

00:02:05.569 --> 00:02:08.870
life was really tough. Without getting into all

00:02:08.870 --> 00:02:11.629
the nitty -gritty details, tell us about your

00:02:11.629 --> 00:02:14.379
early and high school years. My mother, she had

00:02:14.379 --> 00:02:17.360
two children. I was the youngest of the two.

00:02:17.639 --> 00:02:19.300
She really didn't want me. I was an unwanted

00:02:19.300 --> 00:02:23.080
child. Both my father and my mother did not want

00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:27.949
me. And so that was difficult. growing up and

00:02:27.949 --> 00:02:31.349
so she had a lot of resentment towards me and

00:02:31.349 --> 00:02:34.509
so I was the child who would just go into their

00:02:34.509 --> 00:02:38.050
room and hide because it was easier to hide than

00:02:38.050 --> 00:02:42.210
to be seen and my mom is reminded it's because

00:02:42.210 --> 00:02:44.189
of me at least that's the way she felt because

00:02:44.189 --> 00:02:47.210
of me the way things had turned out for her.

00:02:47.479 --> 00:02:50.120
I was angry all the time. I would fight with

00:02:50.120 --> 00:02:53.599
the boys. If anyone said anything to me, I would

00:02:53.599 --> 00:02:56.560
quickly get upset. And it's because I had all

00:02:56.560 --> 00:02:59.599
these issues that I couldn't express. I didn't

00:02:59.599 --> 00:03:02.099
have anyone to talk to, and I'm a child, and

00:03:02.099 --> 00:03:05.379
so I have no way to know how to deal with these

00:03:05.379 --> 00:03:08.360
things. Growing up in that environment, I found

00:03:08.360 --> 00:03:12.900
myself in situations where I wanted love. So

00:03:12.900 --> 00:03:17.000
if anybody would just love me, it didn't matter

00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:19.340
what I needed to do. I just know that I wanted

00:03:19.340 --> 00:03:21.900
to feel something that I felt like I was missing

00:03:21.900 --> 00:03:25.360
in my life. And so I can end up finding myself

00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:30.719
in various situations. And one situation I was

00:03:30.719 --> 00:03:33.620
in when my mom would go to Louisiana, that was

00:03:33.620 --> 00:03:36.849
her home state. and she would leave me with family.

00:03:37.370 --> 00:03:40.590
And, you know, you think when you're with family

00:03:40.590 --> 00:03:44.729
that you're in a safe environment. And so, but

00:03:44.729 --> 00:03:48.449
I wasn't. And so at night time when my mom was

00:03:48.449 --> 00:03:51.629
gone and the other adults were gone, family members

00:03:51.629 --> 00:03:54.629
would come into the room and, you know, there

00:03:54.629 --> 00:03:58.030
was more station that happened several times.

00:03:58.210 --> 00:04:01.830
And my family was already in enough chaos and

00:04:01.830 --> 00:04:04.789
confusion. I didn't want to say anything to cause

00:04:04.789 --> 00:04:07.870
any more issues in the family. And so I kept

00:04:07.870 --> 00:04:11.150
that quiet and didn't think that they would believe

00:04:11.150 --> 00:04:15.250
me anyway. And so harboring that with the rejection

00:04:15.250 --> 00:04:18.949
and abandonment and now the trust issues, it

00:04:18.949 --> 00:04:22.329
just ended up just in a whirlwind when I actually

00:04:22.329 --> 00:04:25.230
became an adult. Wow. And through that time,

00:04:25.850 --> 00:04:28.839
you had been going actually to a private Catholic

00:04:28.839 --> 00:04:32.819
school. Yes, my grandmother was Catholic. And

00:04:32.819 --> 00:04:35.220
the tradition is, is that if you're Catholic,

00:04:35.699 --> 00:04:38.540
then you send your children to Catholic school.

00:04:38.620 --> 00:04:41.459
And so my mom and her sisters, they all went

00:04:41.459 --> 00:04:43.379
to Catholic school. And so when it came to me

00:04:43.379 --> 00:04:46.000
and my brother, we went to Catholic school as

00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:49.519
well. So I went to Catholic school from kindergarten

00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:52.699
all the way through high school. And even in

00:04:52.699 --> 00:04:56.610
that, when I was in about the fourth or fifth

00:04:56.610 --> 00:04:59.930
grade there was this priest and again back to

00:04:59.930 --> 00:05:02.350
this issue of wanting wanting someone to love

00:05:02.350 --> 00:05:06.250
me know me notice me and he noticed me and he

00:05:06.250 --> 00:05:09.050
said hey you are beautiful you could be a model

00:05:09.050 --> 00:05:13.730
and i'm like wow me i can be that and so he said

00:05:13.730 --> 00:05:16.329
but we just need to take pictures of you and

00:05:16.329 --> 00:05:18.709
so we'll be able to show these pictures to everyone

00:05:18.709 --> 00:05:22.649
and so I'm thinking innocent, he's a priest,

00:05:22.810 --> 00:05:26.129
everything is okay. And didn't realize when he's

00:05:26.129 --> 00:05:28.189
telling me to unbutton my shirt, he's telling

00:05:28.189 --> 00:05:31.709
me to lift up my skirt, that he had other intentions

00:05:31.709 --> 00:05:34.290
other than me, you know, having this modeling

00:05:34.290 --> 00:05:37.589
career. And so I didn't make the connection to

00:05:37.589 --> 00:05:42.550
that until really it came out about priests being

00:05:42.550 --> 00:05:44.930
inappropriate with the children that were under

00:05:44.930 --> 00:05:49.079
them. And then a flashback to Yeah, I remember

00:05:49.079 --> 00:05:52.160
those days. I'm just unbuttoning my shirt and

00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:54.720
allowing him to take pictures But I was so much

00:05:54.720 --> 00:05:57.839
in a place that he liked me He thought something

00:05:57.839 --> 00:06:00.600
of me that I was special that I was different

00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:03.360
and it didn't it didn't matter what I needed

00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:06.420
to do because I needed to feel I need to feel

00:06:06.420 --> 00:06:08.879
that love and that someone wanted me and accepted

00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:12.040
me for who I was so you you got through high

00:06:12.040 --> 00:06:16.040
school you graduated and even though you really

00:06:16.170 --> 00:06:19.629
had no one as your cheerleader. You went to college,

00:06:19.970 --> 00:06:22.850
which was a big decision. I finished high school

00:06:22.850 --> 00:06:25.930
and I knew that I had to do something to get

00:06:25.930 --> 00:06:31.490
out of the environment that I was in. And, you

00:06:31.490 --> 00:06:33.269
know, ultimately my mom kicked me out of the

00:06:33.269 --> 00:06:36.459
house when I was 17 years old. Not that far after

00:06:36.459 --> 00:06:38.779
I got out of high school. It was a difficulty

00:06:38.779 --> 00:06:40.899
there trying to find somewhere to be able to

00:06:40.899 --> 00:06:44.259
stay. And but yet I still said I wanted to go

00:06:44.259 --> 00:06:47.879
to school. And so I struggled to go use the bus

00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:51.019
to go to University of Houston. Then after that,

00:06:51.139 --> 00:06:53.720
I transitioned to go into a community college

00:06:53.720 --> 00:06:58.050
and it was difficult, but. I knew I had to do

00:06:58.050 --> 00:07:00.810
something. I didn't want to be like some of the

00:07:00.810 --> 00:07:03.930
family members that I knew that ended up in bad

00:07:03.930 --> 00:07:07.430
situations, ended up in jail. I didn't want that

00:07:07.430 --> 00:07:10.490
to happen to me. And so it was very difficult

00:07:10.490 --> 00:07:12.910
and it took me more years than what it would

00:07:12.910 --> 00:07:15.870
take the average person to be able to complete

00:07:15.870 --> 00:07:19.149
school, but I did. So I was working full time,

00:07:19.230 --> 00:07:22.269
struggling, trying to have a roof over my head.

00:07:22.310 --> 00:07:25.589
I had to stay in a homeless shelter for a bit

00:07:25.589 --> 00:07:28.250
of that time. But struggle did what I needed

00:07:28.250 --> 00:07:31.730
to do because I knew that in order to be successful

00:07:31.730 --> 00:07:35.449
in life, I needed some type of degree. And so

00:07:35.449 --> 00:07:38.990
originally I got a two year associate degree

00:07:38.990 --> 00:07:42.069
in nursing, became a registered nurse, and then

00:07:42.069 --> 00:07:44.470
ultimately I finished with ended up having a

00:07:44.470 --> 00:07:47.769
master's degree. It took time and it was a process,

00:07:48.129 --> 00:07:51.209
but I was able to finish. So along the way, you

00:07:51.209 --> 00:07:53.810
met the man who came to be your husband. Yes.

00:07:53.810 --> 00:07:56.230
And where did you meet him? Oh, well, that's

00:07:56.230 --> 00:07:59.430
a funny story. So at this point, I was living

00:07:59.430 --> 00:08:02.410
with a roommate. You know, we were in the world,

00:08:02.490 --> 00:08:06.860
even though I grew up in religion. and knew that

00:08:06.860 --> 00:08:08.879
I would, you know, I felt that I was good enough

00:08:08.879 --> 00:08:10.699
that I would make it to Purgatory. That's what

00:08:10.699 --> 00:08:13.399
that's what I thought. And so, but I was still

00:08:13.399 --> 00:08:15.639
living a life of anyone that was in the world.

00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:18.660
And so we would go out to this club and we would

00:08:18.660 --> 00:08:21.860
go there at least twice a week. I mean, we were

00:08:21.860 --> 00:08:26.360
known at that particular place. And so my husband

00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:29.560
had recently moved from Louisiana to Houston

00:08:29.560 --> 00:08:33.059
and his cousin brought him to that club. And

00:08:33.059 --> 00:08:36.620
that's where I was. He was on the dance floor

00:08:36.620 --> 00:08:39.580
with another lady, another female, and they were

00:08:39.580 --> 00:08:43.159
dancing back to back or butt to butt. And I was

00:08:43.159 --> 00:08:46.340
at the edge of the dance floor. And then I saw

00:08:46.340 --> 00:08:50.559
him and he saw me. And immediately when I saw

00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:55.100
him. I knew, I heard something say, that's him.

00:08:55.320 --> 00:08:58.539
And I immediately knew that he was the one. And

00:08:58.539 --> 00:09:02.220
so he's on the dance floor. He sees me. He turns

00:09:02.220 --> 00:09:05.240
around to see if the female that was dancing

00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:08.139
with him had still had her backside towards him.

00:09:08.139 --> 00:09:11.240
And she did. And he just walked off the dance

00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:14.139
floor. So he walks off the dance floor. He comes

00:09:14.139 --> 00:09:17.700
over to me, asks me, do I want to dance? Of course

00:09:17.700 --> 00:09:20.519
I said yes. And we've been together ever since.

00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:22.779
And that is amazing these days. And neither of

00:09:22.779 --> 00:09:25.570
you were believers at the time. know the Lord

00:09:25.570 --> 00:09:29.070
when you met so no I mean it was God's grace

00:09:29.070 --> 00:09:30.730
and mercy that you made it through because your

00:09:30.730 --> 00:09:33.169
early your early relationship was kind of rocky

00:09:33.169 --> 00:09:38.250
right yeah it was it really was you know I had

00:09:38.250 --> 00:09:40.909
all this stuff that was going on with me he came

00:09:40.909 --> 00:09:44.230
from a pretty stable background so when I come

00:09:44.230 --> 00:09:47.500
into the picture He doesn't really know how to

00:09:47.500 --> 00:09:49.399
deal with, you know, some of the things that

00:09:49.399 --> 00:09:52.059
I'm going through, you know, the attitudes and

00:09:52.059 --> 00:09:53.940
the anger and these things that I'm manifesting.

00:09:53.940 --> 00:09:55.820
And I don't even, you know, at that point, I'm

00:09:55.820 --> 00:09:57.559
so mature. I don't know what's going on with

00:09:57.559 --> 00:10:00.379
me either. I just know I feel what I feel. And

00:10:00.379 --> 00:10:03.259
so it was very rocky when we first got married

00:10:03.259 --> 00:10:05.940
and not only because of that, but also because

00:10:05.940 --> 00:10:08.820
of the friends that I had. And so when we married,

00:10:08.840 --> 00:10:11.860
I was still, you know, in the world and I had

00:10:11.860 --> 00:10:14.679
worldly friends. And at this point, I was a nurse.

00:10:14.889 --> 00:10:17.350
I was working at ICU, I was working at night.

00:10:17.830 --> 00:10:22.429
And the people that I was around were very strange

00:10:22.429 --> 00:10:25.830
people that are in a level of darkness that I

00:10:25.830 --> 00:10:28.990
had never experienced before that I was being

00:10:28.990 --> 00:10:32.190
brought into. And when I got married, my friends

00:10:32.190 --> 00:10:36.429
were not happy at all about that decision. No,

00:10:36.470 --> 00:10:39.090
not at all. They wanted me to remain single.

00:10:39.409 --> 00:10:41.909
They wanted me to be able to continue to party

00:10:41.909 --> 00:10:45.009
without any type of restraint. would do things

00:10:45.009 --> 00:10:48.330
to cause division between my husband and I. And

00:10:48.330 --> 00:10:50.629
so my husband and I would always get into arguments

00:10:50.629 --> 00:10:53.309
because now I want to go out because they have

00:10:53.309 --> 00:10:56.070
convinced me that he is controlling me. He doesn't

00:10:56.070 --> 00:10:58.450
want me to have a life. He doesn't want me to

00:10:58.450 --> 00:11:00.909
have friends. And I'm believing this. And so

00:11:00.909 --> 00:11:04.389
it's causing all of this tension. One day, someone,

00:11:04.509 --> 00:11:06.970
of course we know now it's the Lord, but he heard

00:11:06.970 --> 00:11:10.610
a voice tell him that you need to take her and

00:11:10.610 --> 00:11:14.210
you need to move out of the city. And I don't

00:11:14.210 --> 00:11:17.570
know how he convinced me, but he convinced me

00:11:17.570 --> 00:11:20.269
to leave my home. I was born and raised in Houston

00:11:20.269 --> 00:11:23.549
and he convinced me that we needed to leave.

00:11:23.570 --> 00:11:26.080
So you left your job and everything. I left the

00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:29.379
job. He left his and we didn't have a place to

00:11:29.379 --> 00:11:31.759
stay. We moved to Lake Charles and went to live

00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:34.779
with his sister until we could get settled in.

00:11:34.820 --> 00:11:37.419
His sister had four kids. They're living in a

00:11:37.419 --> 00:11:41.519
two -bedroom house and now we come in and you

00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:43.379
know there's all these people in this small little

00:11:43.379 --> 00:11:47.419
house but we did. We listened to the Lord and

00:11:47.419 --> 00:11:49.179
didn't know the Lord at that time but we listened

00:11:49.179 --> 00:11:52.080
to that voice and it was it was the best decision

00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:55.309
that we ever made. You know, I just thank the

00:11:55.309 --> 00:11:57.690
Lord that, you know, we listen to that voice.

00:11:57.809 --> 00:12:00.629
And so what happened, we moved to Louisiana and

00:12:00.629 --> 00:12:04.070
my friends, they paid me a visit. They come to

00:12:04.070 --> 00:12:08.269
Louisiana to talk to us. And it's then when I

00:12:08.269 --> 00:12:10.309
saw that my friends really weren't my friends.

00:12:10.590 --> 00:12:13.549
We went to dinner together. They talked awful

00:12:13.549 --> 00:12:17.429
about my husband, to my husband. And they came

00:12:17.429 --> 00:12:20.710
there hoping that I would quit. the relationship

00:12:20.710 --> 00:12:23.009
with my husband and that I would leave with them

00:12:23.009 --> 00:12:25.769
that night. And that's not how it turned out.

00:12:25.850 --> 00:12:28.889
I quit the relationship with them and I remained

00:12:28.889 --> 00:12:31.830
with my husband. You and Darnell were in Louisiana

00:12:31.830 --> 00:12:34.549
and I believe you started having some children.

00:12:34.830 --> 00:12:39.509
So we have three children. They are all in the

00:12:39.509 --> 00:12:43.620
Lord and the thing... that I love about our family

00:12:43.620 --> 00:12:45.759
is that, you know, we're like anyone else. We

00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:49.139
have our struggles. We have our trials. You know,

00:12:49.259 --> 00:12:51.419
sometimes we just don't know what to do or how

00:12:51.419 --> 00:12:54.549
we're going to make it. And our kids are able

00:12:54.549 --> 00:12:57.730
to see us through those struggles and those trials,

00:12:57.990 --> 00:13:00.470
see how the Lord moves in our life. Amen. You

00:13:00.470 --> 00:13:04.370
know, that is something I saw. I mean, my family,

00:13:04.490 --> 00:13:06.929
we all got saved when I was about six years old.

00:13:07.350 --> 00:13:09.389
So we grew in the Lord together. But the thing

00:13:09.389 --> 00:13:11.830
that has really grounded me in my faith was watching

00:13:11.830 --> 00:13:14.370
my parents walk through difficult times in a

00:13:14.370 --> 00:13:17.309
godly way. Your children are so blessed to see

00:13:17.309 --> 00:13:20.409
you do that, to see you struggle with things,

00:13:20.429 --> 00:13:24.129
but in a godly way. God bring the great breakthroughs.

00:13:24.409 --> 00:13:26.370
And that's exactly what I love about it because

00:13:26.370 --> 00:13:29.269
we're not perfect and you know they're able to

00:13:29.269 --> 00:13:31.710
see that so we're not perfect they don't have

00:13:31.710 --> 00:13:34.990
to be perfect they you know it's follow the Lord

00:13:34.990 --> 00:13:37.750
when you mess up you confess your sins you know

00:13:37.750 --> 00:13:41.409
and you just move on and so so now they were

00:13:41.409 --> 00:13:44.769
able to see uh these struggles and now they're

00:13:44.769 --> 00:13:47.309
in this this point in their lives where they're

00:13:47.309 --> 00:13:50.570
developing their own testimony not mom and dad's

00:13:50.570 --> 00:13:52.909
testimony and seeing the Lord work in mom and

00:13:52.909 --> 00:13:55.509
dad's life now they're able to see the Lord working

00:13:55.509 --> 00:13:57.929
in their own lives but when they were first born

00:13:57.929 --> 00:14:01.230
that wasn't the case yes that was not the case

00:14:01.230 --> 00:14:03.730
in fact you really had a bit of a crisis when

00:14:03.730 --> 00:14:06.289
they were young You know, when my son was born,

00:14:06.789 --> 00:14:09.409
you know, I have all my family drama to deal

00:14:09.409 --> 00:14:12.029
with. And, you know, they end up having to deal

00:14:12.029 --> 00:14:14.690
with my family drama because they want to know

00:14:14.690 --> 00:14:17.850
where's grandmother, where's grandfather, where

00:14:17.850 --> 00:14:20.190
are the people, you know, that's supposed to

00:14:20.190 --> 00:14:23.149
be part of our tribe and our family. And so we

00:14:23.149 --> 00:14:25.789
didn't have a lot of that. Mom was going through

00:14:25.789 --> 00:14:29.120
so much. And they're young, they don't understand.

00:14:29.220 --> 00:14:31.700
My husband's trying to do as much as he can.

00:14:31.919 --> 00:14:34.539
So it was really a struggle. And I used to work

00:14:34.539 --> 00:14:37.799
a lot because I had these issues of depression.

00:14:38.100 --> 00:14:41.379
And so how I dealt with depression is I work.

00:14:41.740 --> 00:14:45.080
I do other things, I keep myself busy, so my

00:14:45.080 --> 00:14:47.720
mind is not preoccupied with that. And so I used

00:14:47.720 --> 00:14:51.519
to work, work, and work. And so my son, he was

00:14:51.519 --> 00:14:54.080
about three or four years old, and he drew a

00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:57.159
picture. I'm looking at the picture, and I'm

00:14:57.159 --> 00:15:01.120
like, okay, son, where am I? And he said, oh,

00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:06.659
well, you're at work. And I was like, no. And

00:15:06.659 --> 00:15:09.500
so that was eye -opening to know that my son

00:15:09.500 --> 00:15:14.340
was aware. that I'm not home and that I'm at

00:15:14.340 --> 00:15:17.799
some other place. And for him to even possibly

00:15:17.799 --> 00:15:20.460
think that that was more important than he was,

00:15:20.779 --> 00:15:23.059
when that happened, that kind of changed my perspective.

00:15:23.179 --> 00:15:26.389
Okay, I don't need to work. as much as I have,

00:15:26.429 --> 00:15:29.309
and I need to spend more time with my family.

00:15:29.309 --> 00:15:31.450
So that helped. You know, when we were younger,

00:15:31.710 --> 00:15:34.610
we were still in school, still struggling to

00:15:34.610 --> 00:15:37.169
get through nursing school. When I went to Louisiana,

00:15:37.269 --> 00:15:39.669
my husband went to school. You know, we have

00:15:39.669 --> 00:15:42.549
having financial troubles and, you know, how

00:15:42.549 --> 00:15:45.389
are we going to make it? But the Lord has always

00:15:45.389 --> 00:15:48.909
provided even before you knew him, even before.

00:15:49.230 --> 00:15:52.129
I mean, he always knew you. But before you knew

00:15:52.129 --> 00:15:55.629
he knew you, he was still providing. Yes. Now,

00:15:55.750 --> 00:15:59.149
and when he was, I wasn't thanking him because,

00:15:59.269 --> 00:16:01.730
like you said, I didn't know that it was him.

00:16:02.029 --> 00:16:05.269
But when I look back, it's like, wow, Lord, even

00:16:05.269 --> 00:16:08.509
when I was lost in my darkness, wasn't following

00:16:08.509 --> 00:16:11.929
you, wasn't trying to know you, you were still

00:16:11.929 --> 00:16:15.529
good to us and to our family. But you came to

00:16:15.529 --> 00:16:19.250
kind of a dark night of the soul where you didn't

00:16:19.250 --> 00:16:20.830
know you were going to even make it through.

00:16:20.990 --> 00:16:26.210
What happened? So, when we were in Louisiana,

00:16:27.129 --> 00:16:30.879
I, all of my... All of my childhood issues, all

00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:34.340
of my garbage, all of that came to the forefront.

00:16:34.860 --> 00:16:37.740
And I'm hit with all of these emotions. I don't

00:16:37.740 --> 00:16:40.679
know what's going on. And as I said, I ended

00:16:40.679 --> 00:16:43.419
up becoming really, really depressed to the point

00:16:43.419 --> 00:16:47.100
that I was suicidal that have the knife in my

00:16:47.100 --> 00:16:50.360
hand or unbuckling my seatbelt, you know, trying

00:16:50.360 --> 00:16:53.340
to figure out if I roll just right, you know,

00:16:53.340 --> 00:16:55.720
will I kill myself or will my husband have to

00:16:55.720 --> 00:16:58.000
take care of me, you know, in this, you know,

00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:00.139
know this state because I didn't do it right.

00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:02.740
I would constantly hear these voices telling

00:17:02.740 --> 00:17:06.160
me nobody loves you, no one cares, you need to

00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:08.779
you need to kill yourself and you know just go

00:17:08.779 --> 00:17:11.960
ahead and do it and these voices just kept pressing

00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:14.960
and pressing for me to do it. My husband drives

00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:19.619
me to the hospital to the psychiatric ward. I

00:17:19.619 --> 00:17:24.180
was there in misery for eight days dealing with

00:17:24.180 --> 00:17:26.720
the depression and the suicidal thoughts. It

00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:30.119
was a really major ordeal. But when I got out

00:17:30.119 --> 00:17:32.859
of there, guess what? I still had my issues.

00:17:33.380 --> 00:17:35.680
It didn't do anything for me. I was still getting

00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:38.440
tormented. I was still having the thoughts. All

00:17:38.440 --> 00:17:40.759
that stuff remained. And so what happened...

00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:43.440
is that I would go to sleep at night and I would

00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:47.039
start having these dreams of torment. Everything

00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:51.319
that I feared in life would be in these dreams.

00:17:51.880 --> 00:17:54.400
This voice started coming in the midst of the

00:17:54.400 --> 00:17:57.900
dreams and would say, choose this day whom you

00:17:57.900 --> 00:18:01.440
are going to serve. Wow. And I didn't understand.

00:18:01.680 --> 00:18:04.839
I'm like, who is this talking to me? Why are

00:18:04.839 --> 00:18:07.200
you talking to me? And what do you mean choose?

00:18:07.240 --> 00:18:10.940
I've already chosen God. I'm a Catholic. So I

00:18:10.940 --> 00:18:13.579
didn't get it. And so these dreams would continue

00:18:13.579 --> 00:18:17.539
they would intensify I started seeing Things

00:18:17.539 --> 00:18:20.480
when I was awake that aren't supposed to be there

00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:23.220
All this stuff is going on and so days happen

00:18:23.220 --> 00:18:25.920
and I'm in the middle of the night still having

00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:27.980
these dreams I'm feeling things in my body I

00:18:27.980 --> 00:18:30.680
don't know what's going on with me and then during

00:18:30.680 --> 00:18:32.460
one of them is in during the midst of one of

00:18:32.460 --> 00:18:35.619
the dreams I finally is like, oh wait a minute.

00:18:35.940 --> 00:18:40.079
How can I say that? I love God I want to follow

00:18:40.079 --> 00:18:43.319
him, but yet I want to kill myself. It's like

00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:45.980
those really don't mix together So something

00:18:45.980 --> 00:18:49.119
is wrong and so as I'm talking, you know trying

00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:52.119
to logically think this through I'm like, I don't

00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:55.200
think I really love the Lord Like I like I say

00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:57.720
I do and this was a revelation that you came

00:18:57.720 --> 00:19:00.500
to just all by yourself I mean you didn't have

00:19:00.500 --> 00:19:02.799
you weren't listening to any preachers on the

00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:05.779
air or going to church or No, this was just a

00:19:05.779 --> 00:19:08.950
revelation from the Lord He got through to me,

00:19:09.029 --> 00:19:13.970
and that night, I said, I choose you, Lord. Everything

00:19:13.970 --> 00:19:16.869
just lifted. There were no more dreams. There

00:19:16.869 --> 00:19:18.970
were no more torments. There was no more seeing

00:19:18.970 --> 00:19:21.769
things that aren't there. There were no more

00:19:21.769 --> 00:19:24.829
of the suicidal thoughts. I had a deliverance

00:19:24.829 --> 00:19:27.589
in my house going on. Didn't even know what deliverance,

00:19:27.589 --> 00:19:31.349
you know, was back then. And, you know, all of

00:19:31.349 --> 00:19:34.190
this. And I woke up the next morning, and my

00:19:34.190 --> 00:19:36.380
husband saw me, and he's like... What happened

00:19:36.380 --> 00:19:39.259
to you? I mean, he could even see in my face.

00:19:39.259 --> 00:19:41.420
It was visible. It was visible to your husband.

00:19:41.640 --> 00:19:43.420
I mean, he knew something was going on and it

00:19:43.420 --> 00:19:46.480
was a good thing this time. And so, yeah, so

00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:49.240
when my life changed, his life changed because

00:19:49.240 --> 00:19:51.859
a lot of the stuff that I was dealing with, a

00:19:51.859 --> 00:19:55.859
lot of the pressure from it had lifted. When

00:19:55.859 --> 00:20:00.160
did you like really realize it was Jesus and

00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:03.950
really start pursuing a walk with him? Back in

00:20:03.950 --> 00:20:06.809
those days when I went to Catholic school, we

00:20:06.809 --> 00:20:09.390
were taught that we were heathens. We weren't

00:20:09.390 --> 00:20:12.890
worthy of anything. And so we weren't worthy

00:20:12.890 --> 00:20:16.289
to open the Bible and read it. And so I have

00:20:16.289 --> 00:20:19.569
never picked up a Bible and read a Bible before

00:20:19.569 --> 00:20:23.109
until I went to Louisiana. The scriptures was,

00:20:23.289 --> 00:20:26.569
they were always read to us. So when I'm dealing

00:20:26.569 --> 00:20:28.369
with all of this stuff and the demonic and everything

00:20:28.369 --> 00:20:32.210
that's going on, decide that I want to open up

00:20:32.210 --> 00:20:35.849
the Bible and You know, I cracked it open and

00:20:35.849 --> 00:20:43.029
I didn't die. Yeah Surprise surprise And so I

00:20:43.029 --> 00:20:46.369
started reading it and then I'm like scratching

00:20:46.369 --> 00:20:50.049
my head cuz I'm like wait a minute What I'm reading

00:20:50.049 --> 00:20:53.680
is different from what I've been taught I would

00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:55.980
go to the Catholic Church and I'm like, hey,

00:20:55.980 --> 00:20:58.619
I have a question. And I'm like, the Bible says

00:20:58.619 --> 00:21:01.559
this, but this is what I was taught. So all that

00:21:01.559 --> 00:21:04.619
started making me having having doubts about

00:21:04.619 --> 00:21:08.140
what am I in? So once I had that moment and I

00:21:08.140 --> 00:21:10.180
felt and I knew that I had been transformed,

00:21:10.539 --> 00:21:13.279
I started seeking the Lord. But that started

00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:16.960
me on a journey, a journey for truth. And now,

00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:19.700
because I had that deception in the beginning,

00:21:20.339 --> 00:21:23.769
when I go to someone else, I'm always lining

00:21:23.769 --> 00:21:26.750
it up with the Word because I don't want to be

00:21:26.750 --> 00:21:29.650
deceived again. Well, you know, God always is

00:21:29.650 --> 00:21:32.170
concerned about the poor and the widows and the

00:21:32.170 --> 00:21:34.970
fatherless, and Somebody Cares right now has

00:21:34.970 --> 00:21:37.549
provided opportunities for believers to be involved

00:21:37.549 --> 00:21:40.390
in that. And that's why we created a Widows and

00:21:40.390 --> 00:21:45.490
Orphan Fund. In James 1, 27, in the New Living

00:21:45.490 --> 00:21:47.910
Translation, which is a translation I've come

00:21:47.910 --> 00:21:53.230
to love, it says, or really relationship, in

00:21:53.230 --> 00:21:56.150
the sight of God, our Father means caring for

00:21:56.150 --> 00:21:58.450
orphans and widows in their distress and refusing

00:21:58.450 --> 00:22:01.170
to let the world corrupt you. And as a company

00:22:01.170 --> 00:22:04.130
of women together, we can do so much to help

00:22:04.130 --> 00:22:06.710
them experience the tangible love of our Father.

00:22:06.890 --> 00:22:10.109
If you want to join us, go to hergodstory .org

00:22:10.109 --> 00:22:13.910
and click on Help Now. So Stephanie, God gave

00:22:13.910 --> 00:22:17.670
you this really some insights on what it means

00:22:17.670 --> 00:22:21.099
to be a conqueror in Christ. It's a choice. Can

00:22:21.099 --> 00:22:22.819
you share more on that? Because as you're getting

00:22:22.819 --> 00:22:26.319
this revelation of who God is and what God has

00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:30.920
done in your life, you began to be able to forgive

00:22:30.920 --> 00:22:34.920
and to address some issues that had just been

00:22:34.920 --> 00:22:37.579
tormenting you for years. One of the things that

00:22:37.579 --> 00:22:40.920
I love about the Lord is that He gives us a choice.

00:22:41.420 --> 00:22:45.099
that we can choose to do right or wrong, good

00:22:45.099 --> 00:22:49.079
or bad. He gives us that ability to do it, but

00:22:49.079 --> 00:22:53.079
he also gives us the power in order to do it

00:22:53.079 --> 00:22:55.099
because some of this stuff, you know, it was

00:22:55.099 --> 00:22:59.079
hard. You know, I struggled in life and I had

00:22:59.079 --> 00:23:01.380
anger issues. I was mad at people that did some

00:23:01.380 --> 00:23:04.460
of the things to me and how my life ended up

00:23:04.460 --> 00:23:07.720
turning out because of those things and how much

00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:10.359
it impacted me when I got married and when I

00:23:10.359 --> 00:23:13.180
had kids. And so, you know, I had all of that

00:23:13.180 --> 00:23:15.819
that I needed to deal with. But the Bible tells

00:23:15.819 --> 00:23:19.440
us that, you know, there are going to be trials.

00:23:19.740 --> 00:23:22.720
There are going to be issues and struggles and

00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:26.640
hardships and persecutions and sufferance. But

00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:29.380
he said, in the midst of all of that, that I

00:23:29.380 --> 00:23:32.420
have made you more than able. I have equipped

00:23:32.420 --> 00:23:35.660
you to be able to overcome all of these things.

00:23:36.059 --> 00:23:38.640
In and of myself, there is no way that I would

00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:41.339
have forgiven the people that have hurt me because

00:23:41.339 --> 00:23:45.079
I had every right to be angry because the things

00:23:45.079 --> 00:23:48.079
were wrong and the things were evil. But those

00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:51.000
rights were taken away when I came to the Lord.

00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:54.359
So he said we have to forgive and we have to

00:23:54.359 --> 00:23:58.410
show mercy just as he has forgiven us. He says

00:23:58.410 --> 00:24:00.990
that we have the ability to do that. So how did

00:24:00.990 --> 00:24:02.849
you do that? I mean, that's not an easy thing

00:24:02.849 --> 00:24:06.069
to do. It's not. I had to choose to do it. I

00:24:06.069 --> 00:24:08.450
had to realize I had to come to the point to

00:24:08.450 --> 00:24:12.039
say as a child of God. I had no right to be unmerciful

00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:15.799
and unforgiving because I had to look at my life

00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:19.480
and I had to see where I came from in all the

00:24:19.480 --> 00:24:22.640
things that I've done wrong. Sin is sin in the

00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:25.400
eyes of the Lord. So their sin may be different

00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:28.599
from mine, but I'm no better when I was living

00:24:28.599 --> 00:24:32.740
in darkness as well. And I think, how could God,

00:24:32.839 --> 00:24:36.799
how can He forgive me? for all the wrong things

00:24:36.799 --> 00:24:39.000
that I have done. I've been told all my life

00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:41.859
that I'm unworthy. So why would someone that's

00:24:41.859 --> 00:24:45.039
so perfect and so holy, why would he forgive

00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:48.259
me of all the things that I have done? When I'm

00:24:48.259 --> 00:24:53.220
like, wow, he has that type of love for me, but

00:24:53.220 --> 00:24:56.880
he also has that type of love for them. And I'm

00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.119
like, if the Lord can forgive me in all of my

00:25:00.119 --> 00:25:04.579
stuff and he's perfect. There's no sin, no mistake,

00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:07.900
no error in him. And I was all screwed up when

00:25:07.900 --> 00:25:11.319
I came to him. And if he could do that for me,

00:25:11.740 --> 00:25:15.500
why can't I do that for someone else? And so

00:25:15.500 --> 00:25:20.099
I had to ask the Lord, Lord, my will is to forgive

00:25:20.099 --> 00:25:23.140
them. My feelings right now, I still have them.

00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:26.259
I'm still mad, I'm still hurt, but I choose to

00:25:26.259 --> 00:25:29.640
forgive them. And so I need you to help me. to

00:25:29.640 --> 00:25:33.079
forgive them. And so what the Lord did is that

00:25:33.079 --> 00:25:39.599
He started showing me their hurt, their sin,

00:25:40.279 --> 00:25:43.859
their darkness, their life, what they're living

00:25:43.859 --> 00:25:47.460
in without Christ. And all that brokenness and

00:25:47.460 --> 00:25:51.259
all that darkness leads to the things that happen

00:25:51.259 --> 00:25:54.259
to me or that happens to other people because

00:25:54.259 --> 00:25:56.480
you know there's a saying that hurt people hurt

00:25:56.480 --> 00:25:59.579
people they do broke people you know people that

00:25:59.579 --> 00:26:02.960
are broken they break other people i had to look

00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:06.039
at Wow, I'm just thinking about myself, but I

00:26:06.039 --> 00:26:07.619
had to start looking at them like, wow, they're

00:26:07.619 --> 00:26:10.059
really struggling. Oh, yeah, I remember my cousin

00:26:10.059 --> 00:26:13.200
and their life and how bad it was for them and

00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:14.819
some of the things that they went through. So

00:26:14.819 --> 00:26:18.500
it helped me to understand and apply mercy when

00:26:18.500 --> 00:26:21.660
I didn't want to apply mercy. And so walking

00:26:21.660 --> 00:26:24.710
through that process. was able to help me to

00:26:24.710 --> 00:26:28.630
forgive them. And also, the more I fell in love

00:26:28.630 --> 00:26:33.130
with Jesus, the more the hate, the anger, and

00:26:33.130 --> 00:26:36.410
all of those feelings went away. And so because

00:26:36.410 --> 00:26:39.630
we're supposed to become more and more like Him,

00:26:39.829 --> 00:26:43.569
as we do, then all those other things that are

00:26:43.569 --> 00:26:47.529
not of the Spirit, all of those things fade away

00:26:47.529 --> 00:26:51.420
because you're like, I love Jesus. And Jesus

00:26:51.420 --> 00:26:54.119
loves me. And the Bible tells us we are to love

00:26:54.119 --> 00:26:58.359
other people. And as I serve, I realize just

00:26:58.359 --> 00:27:01.839
how much more I love people and how the Lord

00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:05.980
took my heart of stone and massaged it and broke

00:27:05.980 --> 00:27:09.640
it into pieces and gave me a heart of flesh that

00:27:09.640 --> 00:27:13.119
has compassion. And what I found is that The

00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:16.579
forgiveness was more about me than it really

00:27:16.579 --> 00:27:18.559
was for them because some people they're not

00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:20.680
asking for forgiveness. They don't want forgiveness.

00:27:21.059 --> 00:27:23.180
They don't think what they did was wrong or it

00:27:23.180 --> 00:27:27.460
wasn't that bad. And so it was about me because

00:27:27.460 --> 00:27:31.700
I'm in a type of bondage. being held back my

00:27:31.700 --> 00:27:34.680
heart is hard because I don't want to forgive

00:27:34.680 --> 00:27:37.599
someone and so when I forgive them you just feel

00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:41.799
this release you know it's freedom and forgiveness

00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:44.799
and so that's what I learned during that process

00:27:44.799 --> 00:27:48.500
is that to set me free that I need to be able

00:27:48.500 --> 00:27:52.019
to forgive other people. So you've been a nurse

00:27:52.019 --> 00:27:54.079
you know you've raised your children and now

00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:56.579
you and your husband are co -pastoring a church

00:27:56.579 --> 00:28:00.339
how did that come about? Well, one day I was

00:28:00.339 --> 00:28:04.859
seeking the Lord and I wanted to know what my

00:28:04.859 --> 00:28:07.920
purpose was. I was like, Lord, I know I'm on

00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:09.859
this earth for a reason, but I don't know what

00:28:09.859 --> 00:28:12.480
it is. And I'm fasting and praying until you

00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:15.460
tell me. I need you to speak to me. During that

00:28:15.460 --> 00:28:18.720
period of prayer and fasting is when the Lord

00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:23.299
called me to be a minister. When I was praying,

00:28:23.299 --> 00:28:25.700
praying fast and seeking the Lord, I wasn't seeking

00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:30.740
that. You know, raised Catholic, went to Baptist,

00:28:30.980 --> 00:28:33.160
and it's like, Lord, I'm a woman. What do you

00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:37.839
mean to do that? And so it was a shock, but he

00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:39.980
confirmed it through his word. He confirmed it

00:28:39.980 --> 00:28:42.480
through people. Then I went to my pastor and

00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:44.940
he said, he was been expecting for me to come

00:28:44.940 --> 00:28:47.559
with that. And so all these confirmations came.

00:28:47.640 --> 00:28:49.920
And so that's kind of how it started for me.

00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:52.880
Then my husband ends up getting called from the

00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:56.619
Lord six months later to be a pastor. So we were

00:28:56.619 --> 00:28:59.640
faithfully serving at a church for three years,

00:28:59.640 --> 00:29:01.799
thinking that we were just going to be there,

00:29:01.799 --> 00:29:04.980
you know, for the long haul. And all of a sudden

00:29:05.160 --> 00:29:08.720
says, no, you need to leave the church that you're

00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:10.940
at. We didn't leave and we ended up getting our

00:29:10.940 --> 00:29:14.059
feelings hurt. We experienced that and then we

00:29:14.059 --> 00:29:16.740
were, you know, then we had to leave. We left

00:29:16.740 --> 00:29:18.619
and we came home and we thought that the Lord

00:29:18.619 --> 00:29:21.420
was going to put us in another church, plant

00:29:21.420 --> 00:29:24.420
us somewhere so we can be raised up to be taught

00:29:24.420 --> 00:29:29.019
how to be pastors. And so the Lord tells my husband,

00:29:29.319 --> 00:29:32.039
no. You aren't going, someone else isn't going

00:29:32.039 --> 00:29:34.440
to teach you. You're going to walk alongside

00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:37.000
me and I'm going to instruct you on what you

00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:40.140
need to do. In a sec. Okay. So what we did is

00:29:40.140 --> 00:29:43.140
we started a church in our home and it was the

00:29:43.140 --> 00:29:46.759
Church of the Vigors. It was just us, our three

00:29:46.759 --> 00:29:49.680
kids, my husband and myself. And what we wanted

00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:51.740
to do is we wanted to go back to the basics.

00:29:51.740 --> 00:29:54.000
We want to go back to the foundation because

00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:56.059
we've been so many places and we want to make

00:29:56.059 --> 00:29:58.660
sure our kids understood the word, understood

00:29:58.660 --> 00:30:01.200
what we believe, and that they actually did have

00:30:01.200 --> 00:30:04.019
a relationship with the Lord. But all of this

00:30:04.019 --> 00:30:07.019
ministry, if you would ask anyone that knew me.

00:30:08.179 --> 00:30:11.180
Back then, you know, that would Stephanie become

00:30:11.180 --> 00:30:14.920
a minister serving the Lord, they'd go, absolutely

00:30:14.920 --> 00:30:20.200
not. And yet, you know, here I am serving the

00:30:20.200 --> 00:30:23.420
Lord and loving it. You really gave your past

00:30:23.420 --> 00:30:27.829
to the Lord and he has used the scars. the wounds,

00:30:28.049 --> 00:30:30.190
and the healing that he's done, and opened up

00:30:30.190 --> 00:30:32.650
so many doors for you to join him in ministry.

00:30:32.849 --> 00:30:34.670
Share some of those things. I mean, I just think

00:30:34.670 --> 00:30:36.710
of the Reinhardt Banke Crusade, and how you got

00:30:36.710 --> 00:30:39.869
involved in that, and other doors that, from

00:30:39.869 --> 00:30:41.869
where you came from, you'd never imagine. You'd

00:30:41.869 --> 00:30:45.809
be working alongside a world -renowned evangelist

00:30:45.809 --> 00:30:48.789
to bring hope to your city. Yes, you know, the

00:30:48.789 --> 00:30:51.829
Lord always surprises me, you know, always makes

00:30:51.829 --> 00:30:54.109
me smile. You mentioned, you know, Reinhardt,

00:30:54.150 --> 00:30:57.839
who's now with the Lord. But back in 2013, I

00:30:57.839 --> 00:30:59.920
was watching his first crusade that he was doing

00:30:59.920 --> 00:31:02.720
in the USA in Orlando, Florida. I was watching

00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:07.839
it on my computer and the screen refreshed. And

00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:10.119
there was a pop -up that says, hey, if you want

00:31:10.119 --> 00:31:13.019
us to come to your city, click here. And then

00:31:13.019 --> 00:31:16.839
the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, click,

00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:19.859
you know, sign up for them to come. And I was

00:31:19.859 --> 00:31:22.180
like, OK, because, you know, the Lord tells me

00:31:22.180 --> 00:31:24.059
to do something. I just do it. And then I freak

00:31:24.059 --> 00:31:27.220
out later. You know, but I was like, OK. And

00:31:27.220 --> 00:31:30.519
so, you know, I submitted that. finished watching

00:31:30.519 --> 00:31:32.579
the crusade. And so we went through this process

00:31:32.579 --> 00:31:36.119
of working with pastors to be a part of the crusade.

00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:39.579
We've done Saturate Houston, where the Jesus

00:31:39.579 --> 00:31:43.259
DVD, we helped to, you know, pull the body of

00:31:43.259 --> 00:31:45.720
Christ together to be able to distribute those

00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:49.140
DVDs door to door. We've done the Bible Project,

00:31:49.220 --> 00:31:52.069
the Bible Project. was when we had four different

00:31:52.069 --> 00:31:55.910
locations and uh people were there and we all

00:31:55.910 --> 00:31:59.210
read the bible simultaneously and within one

00:31:59.210 --> 00:32:02.589
hour all 66 books of the bible were read aloud

00:32:02.589 --> 00:32:06.230
in different languages uh different age groups

00:32:06.230 --> 00:32:09.369
we had the young ones we had the old ones i mean

00:32:09.369 --> 00:32:13.470
it was just absolutely beautiful to hear the

00:32:13.470 --> 00:32:16.990
recording of how it all sounds when everyone

00:32:16.990 --> 00:32:19.170
is reading it was just a beautiful experience

00:32:19.170 --> 00:32:21.759
to be able to do that And powerful, too. I mean,

00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:23.660
when we declare the word of God, His word does

00:32:23.660 --> 00:32:26.960
not come back. And so just so thankful for every

00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:28.519
assignment, whether it's, you know, sometimes

00:32:28.519 --> 00:32:32.119
we lead, sometimes we serve. You know, it doesn't

00:32:32.119 --> 00:32:34.119
matter if I'm in the front or if I'm in the back

00:32:34.119 --> 00:32:36.220
or if I'm dumping the trash. I'm all doing it

00:32:36.220 --> 00:32:38.460
for the glory of the Lord, and He'll be pleased

00:32:38.460 --> 00:32:41.079
with my service unto Him. You know, Stephanie,

00:32:41.119 --> 00:32:44.599
you have come out of some really difficult circumstances

00:32:44.599 --> 00:32:48.859
and situations. Can you give some practical things

00:32:48.859 --> 00:32:51.019
that you would recommend to someone who's either

00:32:51.019 --> 00:32:53.980
stuck in abusive relationship or a situation

00:32:53.980 --> 00:32:57.279
or those who are struggling still with past abuse?

00:32:57.279 --> 00:33:00.220
Yeah, so I would say to someone that's stuck,

00:33:00.759 --> 00:33:05.299
get unstuck. Get unstuck and get out of that.

00:33:06.019 --> 00:33:08.279
When I was physically abused, we didn't really

00:33:08.279 --> 00:33:10.539
talk about that part, but I was physically abused

00:33:10.539 --> 00:33:14.619
as a child. I ended up associating love with

00:33:14.619 --> 00:33:18.380
pain. If someone would hurt me, to me, that was

00:33:18.380 --> 00:33:22.660
love because I was getting attention. At least

00:33:22.660 --> 00:33:26.599
they felt I was worth hitting. And so I ended

00:33:26.599 --> 00:33:30.140
up associating all negative behavior with love.

00:33:30.539 --> 00:33:33.039
And then when I came to the Lord and I'm reading

00:33:33.039 --> 00:33:36.480
His words, like, that's not love. It felt good

00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:39.000
for me to hurt, but that's not what God wanted

00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:43.279
for me and that's not who He is. God, He's our

00:33:43.279 --> 00:33:46.519
Father, but He's not abusive. Spiritually, physically,

00:33:46.779 --> 00:33:50.660
mentally, emotionally, He is not an abuser. So

00:33:50.660 --> 00:33:54.460
why would I allow someone else to abuse me if

00:33:54.460 --> 00:33:57.039
a God of all creation doesn't do that? Because

00:33:57.039 --> 00:34:00.890
He is love. Love is not supposed to hurt. not

00:34:00.890 --> 00:34:03.750
physical pain, emotional pain. That's not what

00:34:03.750 --> 00:34:06.609
it is. The Bible tells us there's no fear in

00:34:06.609 --> 00:34:09.849
love, but I feared all the time. I feared the

00:34:09.849 --> 00:34:11.710
next time that I was gonna get hit, even though

00:34:11.710 --> 00:34:14.590
I wanted to get hit. But I still feared it. There's

00:34:14.590 --> 00:34:17.190
no fear in love. And so if someone is doing that,

00:34:17.510 --> 00:34:20.090
then it tells you they don't love you. We are

00:34:20.090 --> 00:34:23.110
worthy to be loved because Jesus made us worthy

00:34:23.110 --> 00:34:26.610
of it. And the Bible tells us that love, it doesn't

00:34:26.610 --> 00:34:30.360
dishonor other people. that is not self -seeking,

00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:34.940
that is not easily angered, and that love always,

00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:38.239
always means always, all the time love protects.

00:34:38.599 --> 00:34:41.840
And so if a person isn't in that type of relationship

00:34:41.840 --> 00:34:44.760
they need to get out of it because that is not

00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:48.940
a God relationship and they need to be in a God

00:34:48.940 --> 00:34:52.119
relationship where God is the center of it and

00:34:52.119 --> 00:34:56.489
that they truly experience love. So I'd encourage

00:34:56.489 --> 00:35:00.510
someone to safely get out of that relationship.

00:35:00.829 --> 00:35:05.269
And then for others that are struggling. If you

00:35:05.269 --> 00:35:08.409
are in Christ you have the power to overcome

00:35:08.409 --> 00:35:11.670
all you do is you the scripture tells us that

00:35:11.670 --> 00:35:14.670
Anyone that calls upon the name of the Lord shall

00:35:14.670 --> 00:35:17.809
be saved. That's not just salvation That's whatever

00:35:17.809 --> 00:35:20.889
issue whatever situation that you are going through

00:35:20.889 --> 00:35:24.050
You call upon the name of the Lord in the times

00:35:24.050 --> 00:35:26.610
of distress and trouble the Lord will hear your

00:35:26.610 --> 00:35:29.349
cry in answer And so I would encourage anyone

00:35:29.349 --> 00:35:32.340
is still struggling with that Surrender to the

00:35:32.340 --> 00:35:35.699
Lord, give it all to Him. I gave all my junk,

00:35:36.360 --> 00:35:39.659
all my issues. It's like I did a literal just

00:35:39.659 --> 00:35:41.400
throwing it up in the air, throwing my hands

00:35:41.400 --> 00:35:43.920
and say, Lord, you take all this stuff. I don't

00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:46.079
want it. It's too heavy. I'm not even supposed

00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:49.250
to be carrying it. But you can carry it. He can

00:35:49.250 --> 00:35:51.489
take it. He can handle all the weight. But we

00:35:51.489 --> 00:35:53.929
weren't built to handle all that weight. And

00:35:53.929 --> 00:35:56.949
so surrender to the Lord and cry out to him and

00:35:56.949 --> 00:36:00.030
say, Lord, I need you. I need you to help. I

00:36:00.030 --> 00:36:02.730
need you to lead me. I need you to intervene

00:36:02.730 --> 00:36:06.889
in a situation and then step back and allow God

00:36:06.889 --> 00:36:09.889
to do that. As we wrap it up, I like to ask all

00:36:09.889 --> 00:36:12.489
my guests if there's a woman in the Bible. whose

00:36:12.489 --> 00:36:16.269
story has inspired or encouraged or taught you

00:36:16.269 --> 00:36:18.610
something. And how does her story relate to your

00:36:18.610 --> 00:36:22.409
story? I call her the unlikely one. That is Rahab.

00:36:22.460 --> 00:36:26.840
I can relate to Rahab. She was a prostitute.

00:36:27.159 --> 00:36:31.639
She was not of the Jewish heritage. She sold

00:36:31.639 --> 00:36:34.880
out her nation so her and her family could be

00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:37.539
saved. I mean, she was just the underdog. She

00:36:37.539 --> 00:36:40.480
is not one that you would expect that would be

00:36:40.480 --> 00:36:43.639
in the lineage of Jesus Christ. You just would

00:36:43.639 --> 00:36:47.719
not expect that. And I'm like... If the Lord

00:36:47.719 --> 00:36:51.719
can use a prostitute for his glory to be part

00:36:51.719 --> 00:36:55.340
of the salvation plan of the world, God can use

00:36:55.340 --> 00:36:59.260
me too. And so there's not enough sins that I

00:36:59.260 --> 00:37:02.199
have done. It's not enough bad things that I

00:37:02.199 --> 00:37:05.219
have done that the Lord still wouldn't use me

00:37:05.219 --> 00:37:08.019
and still wouldn't choose me. So that's why I

00:37:08.019 --> 00:37:11.030
chose Rahab. If you would have put her in a line,

00:37:11.090 --> 00:37:13.269
you know, of all the people to choose, all the

00:37:13.269 --> 00:37:15.610
ladies to choose to be in the lineage of Jesus,

00:37:15.929 --> 00:37:18.909
and you knew their backstory, Rahab wouldn't

00:37:18.909 --> 00:37:22.010
have been selected. And that's how, you know,

00:37:22.010 --> 00:37:24.550
I feel about myself. If you put me in a line

00:37:24.550 --> 00:37:27.130
of other people, you know, and it's like, no,

00:37:27.250 --> 00:37:28.409
I, you know, it's kind of like, you know, when

00:37:28.409 --> 00:37:30.789
you're kids and they're picking which team you're

00:37:30.789 --> 00:37:32.909
going to be on and you're the last person, that

00:37:32.909 --> 00:37:35.289
would be me. You know, the last person hadn't

00:37:35.289 --> 00:37:39.409
been picked. And I can relate to that. And that

00:37:39.409 --> 00:37:42.130
God was still able to use her despite who she

00:37:42.130 --> 00:37:44.650
was or what her past was, what she's done in

00:37:44.650 --> 00:37:47.230
her life. The guy says, I can use anybody. I

00:37:47.230 --> 00:37:50.219
can transform anybody. And I can relate to that

00:37:50.219 --> 00:37:53.820
because God has transformed me. I'm not the person

00:37:53.820 --> 00:37:56.820
who I used to be, and I'm not the person that

00:37:56.820 --> 00:38:00.239
I was two years ago. God is continuing to transform

00:38:00.239 --> 00:38:03.380
me into the person that he wants me to be. And

00:38:03.380 --> 00:38:07.639
so he can use Rahab, he can use Stephanie, and

00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:10.659
he can use each and every one of us for his glory.

00:38:11.019 --> 00:38:13.820
So very true, Stephanie. Thank you. You know,

00:38:13.940 --> 00:38:16.960
your story reminds us that God's love redefines

00:38:16.960 --> 00:38:19.400
our worth and that forgiveness is the pathway

00:38:19.400 --> 00:38:23.239
to freedom. Dear friend, wherever you are today,

00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:25.179
whether you're longing to feel God's love or

00:38:25.179 --> 00:38:27.159
struggling to forgive those who've hurt you,

00:38:27.400 --> 00:38:29.320
God is ready to meet you right where you are.

00:38:30.059 --> 00:38:32.300
Stephanie, would you pray for our listening friends?

00:38:32.579 --> 00:38:35.300
Father God, in the name of Jesus, we bless you,

00:38:35.420 --> 00:38:38.500
God, and give you glory. Lord, I thank you, God,

00:38:38.619 --> 00:38:42.139
for every person that has listened to this conversation

00:38:42.139 --> 00:38:44.599
between Jodi and I, and I pray, God, that it

00:38:44.599 --> 00:38:46.980
will bless them. Lord, I pray, God, for those

00:38:46.980 --> 00:38:49.920
who are struggling to forgive people, God, that

00:38:49.920 --> 00:38:53.809
they would just say, Lord, I am willing. To forgive

00:38:53.809 --> 00:38:56.090
and they would cry out to you to help them to

00:38:56.090 --> 00:38:58.969
forgive Those who have hurt harm or offended

00:38:58.969 --> 00:39:01.849
them lord in the name of jesus I pray god for

00:39:01.849 --> 00:39:04.469
those who are who are dealing with abuse god

00:39:04.469 --> 00:39:06.429
I pray lord that you would lead them and guide

00:39:06.429 --> 00:39:08.530
them in the right way god that they would know

00:39:08.530 --> 00:39:11.530
god that they are worthy Of love that they have

00:39:11.530 --> 00:39:14.590
been accepted by you that you would never reject

00:39:14.590 --> 00:39:16.809
them You would never leave them nor forsake them

00:39:16.809 --> 00:39:19.349
god and that you always have a plan and it's

00:39:19.349 --> 00:39:22.130
a plan to prosper and never to harm So I pray

00:39:22.130 --> 00:39:24.920
lord that you would give them a way out, open

00:39:24.920 --> 00:39:27.559
the door, show them the way in which they should

00:39:27.559 --> 00:39:30.119
go. And I also pray, Lord, even for those that

00:39:30.119 --> 00:39:33.460
are the abusers, Lord, that they would know you,

00:39:33.599 --> 00:39:35.699
God, that they would confess and repent of all

00:39:35.699 --> 00:39:38.480
of their sins and follow Jesus, God, for the

00:39:38.480 --> 00:39:40.860
rest of their days. God, I pray, God, for anyone

00:39:40.860 --> 00:39:44.199
that is struggling, anyone that is dealing with

00:39:44.199 --> 00:39:46.860
anything. You know their hearts, God. You know

00:39:46.860 --> 00:39:49.079
what is needed. You are perfect in all of your

00:39:49.079 --> 00:39:51.500
ways. And I pray, Lord, that you would meet them

00:39:51.530 --> 00:39:53.949
right where they are, God. They would know that

00:39:53.949 --> 00:39:55.969
you are there, that you are with them, that you

00:39:55.969 --> 00:39:58.269
would make your presence tangible, that they

00:39:58.269 --> 00:40:00.590
would know, God, that you are real, that you

00:40:00.590 --> 00:40:02.829
are watching, that your eyes are always upon

00:40:02.829 --> 00:40:05.050
them. And more importantly, God, that you love

00:40:05.050 --> 00:40:08.030
them more than anyone else in the entire universe

00:40:08.030 --> 00:40:11.090
and that you always mean well and that you are

00:40:11.090 --> 00:40:14.389
always working for them and never against them.

00:40:14.550 --> 00:40:17.769
We bless them. I bless Jodi. Bless somebody cares,

00:40:17.949 --> 00:40:19.469
God. I thank you, God, for what they're doing.

00:40:19.710 --> 00:40:21.889
And I pray, God, that they can continue to prosper

00:40:21.889 --> 00:40:24.849
in their labor for you. In Jesus' name, amen.

00:40:25.050 --> 00:40:27.710
As we close, I want to speak this blessing over

00:40:27.710 --> 00:40:31.570
you from Ephesians 3, 17 through 19. I pray that

00:40:31.570 --> 00:40:34.989
you, being rooted and established in love, may

00:40:34.989 --> 00:40:37.050
have power together with all the Lord's holy

00:40:37.050 --> 00:40:41.050
people to grasp how wide and long and high and

00:40:41.050 --> 00:40:44.289
deep is the love of Christ and to know this love

00:40:44.289 --> 00:40:47.230
that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled

00:40:47.230 --> 00:40:50.969
to the measure of all the fullness of God. Friend,

00:40:50.989 --> 00:40:53.329
just as God met Stephanie in her brokenness and

00:40:53.329 --> 00:40:55.809
showed her she was worthy of love, He wants to

00:40:55.809 --> 00:40:58.869
meet you too. And part of how we as a community

00:40:58.869 --> 00:41:01.550
can come together alongside others in their darkest

00:41:01.550 --> 00:41:03.909
hour is through our widow and orphan fund. Around

00:41:03.909 --> 00:41:06.070
the world, from Myanmar to right here at home,

00:41:06.230 --> 00:41:08.869
widows and orphans are experiencing God's comfort

00:41:08.869 --> 00:41:11.449
and practical provision because people like you

00:41:11.449 --> 00:41:14.690
have chosen to give. If you'd like to be a part

00:41:14.690 --> 00:41:17.389
of that, just visit hergodstory .org and click

00:41:17.389 --> 00:41:20.460
on Help Now. And yes, even cryptocurrency is

00:41:20.460 --> 00:41:23.460
welcome. Remember, you don't have to walk this

00:41:23.460 --> 00:41:26.860
journey alone. If you need prayer, call or text

00:41:26.860 --> 00:41:32.179
our 24 -7 prayer or text line at 855 -459 -CARE

00:41:32.179 --> 00:41:34.619
or email us at prayer at somebodycares .org.

00:41:34.940 --> 00:41:37.380
We would be honored to stand with you. While

00:41:37.380 --> 00:41:39.199
you're on our website, you can also download

00:41:39.199 --> 00:41:41.619
a free six -week devotional on Women of the Bible.

00:41:41.739 --> 00:41:43.820
It's a great way to strengthen your faith and

00:41:43.820 --> 00:41:46.599
be encouraged as you grow deeper in your journey

00:41:46.599 --> 00:41:49.679
with the Lord. So until next time, remember,

00:41:50.280 --> 00:41:53.800
God loves you immeasurably and He is still writing

00:41:53.800 --> 00:41:56.739
your story. Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody

00:41:56.739 --> 00:41:59.340
Cares America and international. To find out

00:41:59.340 --> 00:42:02.280
more about or support the ministry, go to somebodycares

00:42:02.280 --> 00:42:02.960
.org.