Interview with Debra Gaskill | InspireHive Podcast | Part 1

0:00 You pray it and he can answer it. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. God will put the prayer in your heart to pray so that he can answer it. Goes into the hearts of the people, doesn't return void, it produces results. Hello, everybody. Thank you so much for joining me today. I have a very special guest for you. Oh my goodness. She is dedicated. to training people to develop intimacy with God. Honestly, I don't know of a higher calling than that, to develop intimacy with God. She's the author of 10 books. She's been in ministry for 45 years. She must've started when she was like two. She reaches nations with her call to prayer and intercession. And thank God for the internet.

0:52 And she is here today as we're going to delve into the topic of loneliness. And is there a purpose in solitude? Please welcome my very special guest, Margie Florent. Hi, Margie. Nice to be here. Hello, everybody. This is exciting. Yes, it is. And I have to tell you something before we get started. Somebody wrote me, David Stearman. Also, you know, okay. He said he wasn't sure if you would remember him and his wife, Diane. He said that you prayed for him decades ago, I believe, to release the gifts of the spirit in his life. And he said after that prayer, the gifts came forth in him in a very powerful way till this day. So he wanted me to pass that along.

1:35 So that's pretty amazing. He's a wonderful friend and he's a wonderful leader in the body of Christ. Amen. Amen. Amen. When you all were going to Rhema, I was a young mom with three little kids. And I was taking Rhema courses by mail. Oh, my goodness. Back in the day. Yeah. So you had the blessing of actually being there. But I did the best I could. And I was taking it by correspondence. But Margie, the reason that, you know, you just I always look for a spark. And the spark with you was you made a post one day and it said.

2:16 Loneliness is not a place you stay, but rather a place you walk through. And that really grabbed me because so many people today tell me how lonely they are. And I remember a time I was in full -time ministry. I was being asked out to dinner at least twice a week. I was being asked to go to lunches. I was going to events, speaking at events. It was just something all the time. And yet I remember being so lonely, it almost felt like it was physically painful. And I describe it like this. Sometimes in life, it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. And I just wanted you to talk to us. Take a minute and talk to us about that loneliness being a place you walk through, not a place you live in. Right. You don't you don't have to live anywhere.

3:04 That's not, you know, from God. And the Bible says, though, I walk through. The valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil. Why? Because his rod and his staff brings comfort. Yes. So it's not a place you can stay or hang around. My experience has been that my intimacy and my relationship with Jesus Christ has fulfilled my heart. That's not to say that God can't give someone the desire of their heart. And that is to be married, to have a spouse. When that is not your reality, the Bible says that Jesus said, I am your maker. I'm your husband. So fill those needs. So I feel like an answer to your question, it's just cultivating intimacy with Jesus, cultivating the fact that he said, I'll never leave you.

4:00 I'll never forsake you. I'm with you always. You can't see him. But he's there with you and he'll send little he'll send little like surprises to show that he's with us. And I had I had a situation when I first found myself single after almost 34 years of marriage. I had a thing there, especially the first year, which was really hard. But I woke up one morning and I was thinking about it. And I said, Lord, you know, you know, don't you know my situation? You know, I'm here managing everything. I've had to learn how to. fix my hot water heater and know how to turn all the valves off. So I don't have a flood in my house to hire a financial planner. I had to learn so many things that were, whereas before it was two people carrying the load. Right. Yeah.

4:52 Morning. I was thinking about it and I always take my dog out in the back first thing in the morning. And that's the beauty of Jesus. You know, he knows our habits. He knows how many hairs we have on our head. He knows everything about us. And so I was getting ready to take my dog out first thing in the morning. I opened the door. We went out off the deck. And down by my pool deck area, there was a cross. It was a stick and then another stick on top of it. And it was perfectly aligned. as a cross right there where I always walk out and I looked and I was like hmm could that be Jesus you and so I took my dog towards the back of the yard where he always goes any of you that have dogs know they have habits as well and I took him to the place he always goes and when I got up to that spot there As God is my witness, I could feel the Holy Ghost right now. I looked over where he always goes and up against the fence. There was another stick and another perfectly aligned as a cross. And I have a picture of it on my Instagram. And I just never forgot that. And someone said to me when I posted it on my Facebook

6:24 page, they said. You know, there's a scripture that says, and again, I don't have all the references. This is just what's in my heart. There's a scripture that says that he is a God who sees. Yeah. White. When I read that verse, I was like, yeah, you see me. I'm not invisible. And I think sometimes even when you're single, you feel invisible because you're the third wheel or the kids all have their lives. And you know how kids are. all about their lives, which is fine, but you sometimes feel invisible. And does anybody really see me? And when I saw those two crosses in my yard, you can't make this up. I believe God put them there.

7:10 This is not a coincidence. And God really showed me, Deborah, that he's a God who sees. Yes. He's with me. I'll never leave you. I'll never forsake you. I'm with you always. I'm going to help you. I'm going to strengthen you. I'm going to uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Don't worry. Don't fret. Don't have any anxiety about your life. I knew this was going to happen before you did. And I've already gone before you and prepared the way. So it's just, I feel, you know, having that confidence that we're not alone. that he is a God who sees. And I think sometimes he gives us little clues, little love tokens of, yeah, I am here. I am your God. I am your husband. And so that was only one of the stories I have just about how to navigate loneliness and learning that he is a God who sees and that I am truly not alone. Amen. Amen.

8:08 That is so good, Margie. You know, I could really relate as you were talking because I was married for 25 years and it turned abusive on the second day of our honeymoon. I've been very open about it. I wrote a book about it called Single and Sublime where I tell my story, some drama, some comedy, and a lot of redemption. And after 25 years, I found myself in exactly the same spot. I'm doing everything. I'm fixing my water heater. You know, I totally could relate to that. Putting the garbage out, have to remember everything. And yeah. Yeah. Oh, your tires on your car, you're supposed to rotate those. Oh, wow. The garbage, putting the garbage out and recycling. Yeah, exactly. And I can remember, though, even being married. And some people today that are watching may feel this way. You're married, but you still feel lonely. Yeah, I have a friend that talks about that. And it's very common. Yeah, you feel like you're not in the same page. You're not in the same book. You're not even in the same library. And I love what you said about the intimacy with God, because I remember those days feeling like I was married, but alone and hurt. And I remember one time in particular, I was getting my car washed. I was very pregnant and my husband was in love with a coworker and had been for

9:38 two years. And here I am, you know, pregnant and I'm at the car wash and I'm watching my car go by. You could go inside and stand at this window and watch the car go by. And I am telling you, God was so present with me. So you are not alone. I almost it's like I could feel a person pressing up against me and there was nobody there. Another time I remember driving down the street in my car and just thinking, I am so alone in this. And I could sense it was like the Holy Spirit was in the back seat. And I'm like, come on up front, come up to the passenger seat. And I literally sensed. the presence of god move up there next to me and and i it reminds me of that scripture that says he is near the broken and heart i was just going to say that yeah he comes in real close yeah and you know what another thing is margie being single It's not always our choice, but it's also not a disease. No, it is not. It does not mean you have failed.

10:41 It does not mean you are less than. It just means that's where you're at at this moment. And I really just believe that God is there in a very supernatural, strong way, just like with your crosses and lets you know all the time I'm here. I'm here overseas. Yes. And I used to kid when people would, single people would say, ladies, they'd say, oh, I'm married to Jesus. And I would think, okay, now I get it. And I'm not laughing anymore because he truly, the Bible says that he truly is our husband. And that is just, you use the perfect word. It's comforting. It is comforting. He'll even show you how to fix your hot water heater. A hundred percent. Amen. You know, if Jesus withdrew, I know that you lead a very powerful prayer ministry. And if Jesus withdrew for times of solitude to pray, how much more do we need to have times of solitude? And I think that's sometimes where people do get lonely. We need that time of solitude to pray.

11:48 It's prayer. It's solitude with purpose. How can we reframe that and not think, oh, I've got to go alone and be in my prayer closet. How can we reframe that, that of the intimacy with God that we can find in that solitude? Well, when you were saying that, I was thinking about Matthew 6. You know, the Bible says, when you pray, go into your closet and shut the door. That word closet in the Greek is T -A -M -B -I -E -N, and it means any secret chamber. It doesn't have to be a physical closet, although that's how I started my prayer journey. It could be a room.

12:33 It could be your car. I personally think it's best not to be distracted in prayer, to really be focused in prayer. So if you're driving, it's fine. We all pray continually. We can do that. But that intimacy with God that can be developed in that closet, so to speak. So I think it's important to make room for God and to go in to find a spot in your home. If it's a chair, if it's an office where you can go in and you could shut yourself in with him. Amen. The thing I feel like people struggle a lot with in that regard is, you know, they don't really understand he's actually really there. Yeah, you see him, but he's there. So I tell people, use your spiritual imagination. Oh, that's good. Right? That's good.

13:24 What does Jesus look like? Well, he looks like who he is in his earthly ministry, right? Look in the Bible, look in the word of God, go to revelations. You know, he's high and lifted up, you know, just imagine Jesus, you know, standing there and use, you know, the Bible says, I'll keep him in perfect peace. mind is stayed on me. So using your mind for good and focusing in on him and just taking that time to be intimate with him. And the interesting thing is what I've learned in my prayer journey is you don't, you don't always feel the change taking place in your life right away. Good. That's good. Yeah.

14:07 You know, it takes time and it builds. Yes. For example, like, you know, do you work out? I'm sure you do. You look amazing. Oh, back at you. You got to work out. So, you know, it's like, you know, if you if you're starting a new health journey and you want to get in shape, well, you know, you begin where you are. You start on the treadmill 15 minutes and then. After a while, you build a little more endurance. And next thing you know, it's 20 minutes, 30 minutes. And then you begin to see results down the road. Prayer is kind of like that, if I could use that analogy. You know, you start to pray, enter into the presence of God. You don't feel him. You don't see him.

14:50 You're distracted or your mind is going crazy. And all of a sudden you reach a zone. And that's when the fun really begins. Because prayer goes from a sacrifice. I'm doing this. Then it becomes joy. Then it goes into a desire. I really want to know God. To a discipline. Then you discipline yourself. Okay, I'm going into this closet, shutting the door. I'm going to seek a sacrifice. It goes from a desire to a discipline to a delight. Yes. Yes. You crave the presence of God. You crave prayer. You want to pray. You want to be with him. And then you see the fruit of it in your everyday life when you're at the grocery store, when you're with people. And that's where the friendship with Jesus really begins. Amen. That is so good because I love the analogy because when I first started going to the gym a couple of years ago, I can't tell you I was thrilled.

15:53 No. And I had to tell myself, you're going to like this. I actually learned that from Kenneth Copeland. He said that he hated getting on the treadmill and he told himself, you're going to love this. And eventually he did. And I had to really discipline, as you said, myself, you're going to drive there. You're going to go in through the door. And it really helps if you like talk to people or watch other people work out or get a trainer and have a buddy for a while. And then once you take off, it does. It really becomes a delight. And there's where you start to see some fruit. And I also loved what you said about finding a place in your home like where you won't be distracted. There's always a dog barking.

16:37 There's always, you know, we have these kids in our neighborhood. Yeah, exactly. The refrigerator. I'll hear these kids outside like screaming and you think that someone is peeling their skin off and they're just chasing each other. So I actually took a beanbag chair at one point and put it in my closet and shut the door. My closet is not that big. and leave your phone on the outside because it will be so tempting at first. Oh, I got to clean that drawer out. Oh, I've got to return that email or see if I have an email. And so I think what you said, I love it.

17:18 It's got to start out as a discipline, even if you have to set an egg timer. And I've done that before. I've said back in the day, I would set the timer like on my microwave or my stove and I would make myself pray for one hour. And you really do get to the point where it's like that, you know, oh, my gosh, you look at your watch. It's like an hour has gone by. You're kidding. It felt like five minutes. But I remember Brother Hagen would say, that's because, you know, you've gotten into the spirit. When time doesn't bother you anymore, you know, you're in the spirit. Yes. Yes. Just you're in the zone. And that's where friendship begins with Jesus and relationship. And it's an intimacy. It's not based on works.

18:01 It's based on love and relationship. And so many people say, I have to pray. No, we get to pray. Amen. Yes. Yeah. Oh, I get to talk to God. No, I get to talk to God. It's fun. Wow. And, you know. We were talking about the loneliness factor. Sometimes I think people are lonely because they don't put themselves out there. And I'm not talking about a dating app. I'm talking about you get involved in something at your church or you go for a walk in your neighborhood. Sometimes there is a practical side to things. I mean, there's someone in my neighborhood. I haven't seen her leave the house in like months. She's very reclusive.

18:48 You can't complain that you're lonely. When I first joined my church a little over two years ago, I purpose, I thought I'm not meeting anyone. So when they came up with an offer, would you like to teach a connect group within the church? Because they're all about connecting. I said, sure, I'll teach a group on healing because they didn't have one. And that's how I started meeting people and growing relationships with it. So if we're lonely, sometimes. Do you think it could be kind of self -inflicted? Definitely. I mean, you know, I think COVID created a lot of loneliness in people and depression and anxiety. But you're right. It takes effort sometimes to get out and to break your daily habit and your daily routine and put yourself out there. Yes. And even what you were saying about working out and going to the gym when you said about, you know, you started that program. Like working out is wonderful for our mental health. Sure. You know, it's wonderful.

19:50 And just connecting with people is good for our mental health. So, yeah, you just got to put yourself out there. But putting yourself out there with the right people. Oh, you read my mind. The next thing I wanted to talk about was sometimes people get involved in relationships out of loneliness. And it's like, well, they're better than being alone. So I wanted to bring up three great women in Pentecostal history who all went down the wrong road because of loneliness.

20:31 And one of them was Catherine Kuhlman. She was lonely and we don't have time to go into her story here, but she ended up marrying someone out of loneliness. She knew she shouldn't have done it. Every prominent minister of the day told her, don't do it. And she did it anyway and knew it was so wrong. She fainted during the ceremony. And as soon as the ceremony was over, she ran into her friend's hotel room and told her that she had made a mistake. And the friend said, too late. You did this. And it derailed her ministry for 10 years. Yeah. Amy Semple McPherson, first husband died. Second husband didn't want the traveling evangelist lifestyle, so they divorced.

21:17 And she admitted out of loneliness, she married her third husband, who was a con man, and made a bet with others that he could infiltrate her ministry and infiltrate her life. And he did just that. He was very abusive. And she ended up dying at 54 years old. Wow. And then, of course, Mariah Woodworth, her first husband. I don't know that she married him out of loneliness. I don't know the situation, but I know that he was very mean to the people. And she always wanted to have a revival in Oakland, California. That was her dream. And when her ministry was thriving, she finally made it out there, had a huge revival.

21:58 And it was discovered during that revival that her husband was having an affair. Three prominent. yeah pentecostal historians all derailed by wrong relationships talk talk to us margie about just sticking a placeholder in there and we don't think it's going to hurt us and it's just i know there is a ministry that kind of claims that they can get you hooked up with someone and get you married within a year and they boast that that is what they're called to do i'm not saying they're not But I'm just saying that I don't know that we should give people that kind of hope. I believe that we can trust God for the right people if that is our desire. Some people, it's just not. And that's OK. And there's nothing wrong with you. But some people who want to have someone in their life, we've got to let it be God. Yeah, it's got to be God for sure. Yes.

22:57 Especially when you're in ministry. Like I have like for me personally. i was on all the dating apps and hired the matchmakers on the whole thing and it just it was it was kind of funny their stories i was kind of wishing i had had a log on each particular date it would have been a funny book but it's got to be god number one and you know it's you have to be healed as well you know because sometimes former relationships especially if you've been in an abusive marriage or relationship can cause damage to the soul. Absolutely. It's very important. Anybody that's listening that you heal your, make sure you get therapy, let the word of God. I know Deborah, one of her cornerstone scriptures is Proverbs four. The word of God will heal you, restore you, make sure you get healed. Otherwise you're going to attract. the same kind of guy that abused you, hurt you, was mean to you because you think that's normal. Back in my book, A Love Like That, I talk about that in two of the chapters, you know, when broken wings fly. That's one of the chapters. And, you know, you just got to get healed and it's got to be God. Because what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul? Like for me personally, I just want God. I want to do his will. I want to fulfill my destiny and my calling. And the devil knows

24:29 that. Yes. He'll send people to try to derail us and to get us off track. I'm not afraid to love again. I believe that God has someone for me, but it's just being, making sure it's God, making sure you're healed. And then number three, being surrounded by the right people. Yes. Yeah. I have a lot of really good friends. So I'm going to tell you something funny and I'm going to tell you something I've never said publicly. Okay. Like two years in and being single and the whole nine yards and I was getting frustrated and the whole thing. And I'm sitting here with a group of my friends. We were having like some kind of Bible study that I was leading. And they were all best friends. We were all sitting here in my son room and I don't know what, I just stood up. And I said, if God doesn't send me a husband, I'm going to go find him myself. You know, cause it's all about timing. Sure. In my timing, I wanted it now, but God knew I needed healing. I needed restoration. He knew that.

25:41 We've launched so many things in the last five years. We have a podcast. We have our prayer calls. I've been speaking. We're getting ready to do some things with CTN, Christian Television Network, beginning in June. If I had a guy in this season, I wouldn't have had the time for him to devote to marriage. But there will come a time. Because doesn't the Bible say, I am a restorer. God is going to restore everything that the locust and the canker worm has eaten. He is going to restore it. And if it's a desire of your heart, my heart, those that are listening, God's going to bring the guy. But let the Lord bring the guy. Don't be going out there. And I'll tell you something a friend said to me.

26:24 And I didn't really realize it because sometimes we're pretty and we don't really realize how pretty we are and attractive we can be because we're just. us sometimes we're maybe critical of ourselves at times and we don't really realize the power that beauty can have and my a friend of mine said to me your biggest challenge is going to be um your your beauty as a woman wow in dating and i didn't realize what she said because i was married for so long i wasn't in the dating world right and i realized the guys aren't reading they're not reading your profile they're looking at your pictures your picture yes very shallow thing yes very um concerning to me and uncomfortable and they were more interested in the outward and not the real us which is the bible calls it the hidden man of the heart which in the sight of god is more precious than all of this that we have on the outside So it's really, I don't know, I think there's a balance, Debra, you know, just letting God bring the guy, but also putting yourself out there. Yeah. Everyone just has to be led by the spirit, you know, and just follow the leading of God and also just be practical. Yes. Yes. Oh, my gosh. That was just such a word right there. And it reminded me of a couple of things. First of all, if somebody

27:55 contacts you, social media, in person, whatever, and says, God told me. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's podcast. It has been such a joy sharing this time with you. For more inspiration and resources on today's topic, please visit our website at margiefloran .org.