(283) “From Tragedy, Rejection, and Abuse to Become a World Champion” with Patricia Bartell (Part 1)

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And it was one of the few times I've seen Jesus

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himself. And he was at the front door of the

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house. Wow. And I looked and he looked at me

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and he said, there is more. And he turned around

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and walked as if, come follow me. Oh, wow. And

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after that, I was like, I told my friend, there

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is more. He said it himself, there is more. God

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promises in Joel 2 .28 to pour out His Spirit

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on all humanity. Welcome to Global Outpouring,

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where we contend for that promised outpouring,

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we equip for that outpouring, so that we may

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engage in that very outpouring. I'm Philip Buss.

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And I'm Sharon Buss. Welcome to the podcast today.

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We have with us a very, very special lady. She

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was with us for the School of the Supernatural

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Translation by Faith that we had recently with

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Bruce and Reshma Allen. And her name is Patricia

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Bartell. And she has an amazing story of how

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she came from being an orphan to being a success.

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An amazing success in so many ways. You'll just

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love her story. Thank you so much for joining

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us today. We are delighted to have you with us.

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And we know that this is going to be an exciting,

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exciting podcast for you. But before we get started,

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we want to encourage you, if you haven't already

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done so, that you go to our website, globaloutpouring

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.net, and make sure that you're on our email

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lists and that you are... connected to us because

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we want to stay connected to you. And if you're

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hungry for God, if you have a hunger for God

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and you want to know him more and you want to

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go deeper in your relationship with him, this

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podcast is one that will help you. So stay tuned

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and go back and listen to some of the other ones

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and share them with your friends. This is an

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opportunity for you to go deeper in the things

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of God. So we're here today with Patricia Bartel,

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who joined us for the School of the Supernatural

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Translation by Faith. And Patricia, thank you

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so much for joining us today. This is really

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going to be fun. It's a pleasure. I'm looking

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forward to it, especially now that we've come

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to the end of the school. It's been what an amazing

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week, what an amazing treasure you have here.

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Yes, it's been tremendous. We did a podcast with

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Bruce and Reshma some weeks ago, encouraging

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people to come. I don't know whether anybody

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of our listeners came, but, you know, we just

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want to encourage them to stay in contact with

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the ministry of Bruce and Reshma Allen. And that

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is StillwatersInternationalMissions .com. Yeah.

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And you have also, you have a website. Yes. So

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during the school, I help with the Hebrew part

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of it and also the activations. And that's just

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a beautiful role because they get to hear the

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word, they get grounded, they get training, and

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then they go through the veil. and they get to

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have their own encounter with the Lord. And so

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in that, so people can afterwards go to my website,

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patriciabartell .com forward slash Hebrew, because

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I have other things I do, but then that gives

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them the Hebrew cards and some of the tools I

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use. Yes. And so just to give a little bit of

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a recap about the school, and we'll put a link

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in the show notes for when Bruce was describing

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this for us, but he teaches from... The question

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that the Holy Spirit gave him over 20 years ago

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about can a man be translated by faith and how

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he studied and studied. And it's all through

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the word, the glory of God and being moved into

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the things of God. You know, in Daniel, it says

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that. They that know their God will be strong.

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And the King James says, and do exploits. I don't

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think that's the best translation. I think take

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action was how I have heard it in another translation.

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But the idea is that in these days that we're

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living in, the closing days of time before Jesus

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comes back, before the rapture, before the millennium,

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and all of those things, that there's this season

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of time where God's people at least a remnant

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of God's people, are going to get so lit up with

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his glory and so filled with his character and

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his goodness and doing the things that he leads

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us to do like Jesus did when he walked the earth.

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He said, the works that I do shall you do also

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and greater works. I mean, that began already

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in the book of Acts, right? But we're not seeing

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a whole lot of that. It's starting now. Yeah.

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But, you know, over the last hundred or two years,

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you know, you don't see just a whole lot of those

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greater works. There are some. God has always

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had a remnant. He's always had some that are

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out there ahead of the rest of the body of believers

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that are kind of lagging behind. And some of

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them not even believing that these things are

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possible in our day. So Bruce goes through scripture

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after scripture after scripture. And his wife,

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Reshma, teaches on discernment. And let's get

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this right. You've got to do things by the word.

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You've got to test every spirit. Because there's

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counterfeits, but there's only counterfeits of

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the real. You know, you don't have a counterfeit

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$3 bill. Nobody's going to counterfeit a $3 bill.

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It just doesn't happen because there isn't a

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real $3 bill. So anyway, so your part in this

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has been going deeper into the Hebrew and bringing

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out things for us to get a deeper understanding

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of what the scriptures are saying. And then you

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helped us operate in our holy sanctified imagination.

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Which, as Bruce teaches so well, Jesus made it

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clear, especially in the Sermon on the Mount,

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about what you think in your mind is considered

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reality. Jesus said, you've heard that you're

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not to commit adultery, but if you're looking

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at a woman in the wrong way, you're committing

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adultery already with her in your heart. So what's

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going on in your imagination, God considers to

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be real. So I want you to just say that I...

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Deeply appreciated how you led us in the activations

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and helping us to use our sanctified imagination

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to draw closer to Jesus. And just give us a little

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piece of that, would you? Yeah, sure. So because,

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you know, one of the things when I first started

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engaging and when Bruce said, it is your birthright

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to see. Because unless, you know. From the beginning

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of how he teaches it, I realized like, wow, this

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is my birthright. Unless you are born again,

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you cannot see the kingdom of God. That's what

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he said to Nicodemus in John 3. Exactly. And

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so when I first got that concept, I'm like, well,

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of course, then that means I can see. But what

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am I seeing? I didn't have a grid for it. Right.

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What does that look like? Right. Yet the whole

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word gives us pictures of it. Right. And a picture

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is worth a thousand words. Right. And so as I

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began to take first, the Lord was, it was funny

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when I started was I started seeing in my dreams.

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And what I mean by that, I would be at a service

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in my, in a dream. I'm in this service and then

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I'm seeing in that dream, you know, I'm like,

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oh, so this is what it looks like, you know?

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Well, that was kind of the Lord to give it to

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you that way. Right. So then I could have a grid

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for different things that I would see. And then

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it got to be in my private time. Because I would

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worship before the Lord. And he, you know, just

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all of a sudden, I always thought sometimes it

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was just my imagination. Right. Until I realized,

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wait a minute, I'm not actually making this up.

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Because I can't make up that kind of a story.

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Right. You know, I needed something like a storyline

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to follow to make up the story. But this was

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just happening. And one of the special times

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was. And we might go into that a little bit more.

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But when I was 21 and just seeking after God,

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he just touched my life so much and healing my

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broken heart. And I was in the living room of

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the place I was staying and a friend of mine

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were just worshiping the Lord. And I kept asking

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people, there's more of God. There's got to be

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more. Yes. You know, I had just finally tasted

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and I grew up in the Assemblies of God church.

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And so it was like this ritual. It was very structured.

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So I didn't experience so much of God there as

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far as our relationship. It was just a bunch

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of rules. So here now, I had experienced like,

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this God is real. And now I'm in worship. But

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I started asking people. I started asking pastors,

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what about this? What about that? The things

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around the presence of God. Nobody could answer

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me. And it's like there's got to be more. Because

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they've not experienced it themselves. Exactly,

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yeah. Which is really scary. Yeah. Because, you

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know, what the congregation hears is just the

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experience of the pastor. So if he's never had

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any deep revelation or any dreams or anything

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like that, he has nothing to share on it. Exactly.

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And part of it is that people don't have a grid

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that there is more. Whatever we've got, whatever

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level we're at, there is always going to be more.

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You know, God himself goes from glory to glory.

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So we should have an expectation of going from

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glory to glory. You know, just being grateful

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for what we have, but then there's that hunger.

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That hunger is what began. And so in the living

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room that day, after asking so many people, not

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getting any answers, and even my friend was like,

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Patricia, just be grateful for what you have.

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But I said, but there's got to be more. Anyway,

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so here this afternoon, I'm in the worship, and

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God's glory just comes as He was always faithful

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just to kind of... Put us in this little cocoon

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of his presence. And I turned to my left, and

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it was one of the few times I've seen Jesus himself.

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And he was at the front door of the house. Wow.

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And I looked, and he looked at me, and he said,

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there is more. And he turned around and walked

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as if, come follow me. Oh, wow. And after that,

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I was like, I told my friend, there is more.

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He said it himself. There is more. And that began

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that, you know, being able to see. And then like

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Moses, you know, in the burning bush, it says

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he actually turned to look. So then I just made

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it a practice. You know, I'll be in church service.

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And I was like, okay, I'm going to look. I intentionally

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look. And that's when I began. My eyes were more

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and more open to see the angelic. You know, people

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have asked me, do you see the demonic? And I

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don't intentionally look into that realm, if

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you per se. But I just want to see God's kingdom.

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Because that's how you discern the counterfeits.

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You know, when they're doing the money, they

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never show them the counterfeit until they've

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handled so much of the real money. Yeah, and

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a bank teller. Right, exactly. And then they

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throw a counterfeit in. So this was my training

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ground as I began. But a lot of it then, too,

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was like somebody had shared, like, if it's like

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going through a curtain. So I'm like, OK, so

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I would go home because I needed a natural, an

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anchor to go from the natural so I could have

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a grid for the supernatural. And so a curtain

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it wouldn't be. You know, I'd take the curtain,

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open it, walk through. And it was just a step

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of faith. Some people call it a prophetic act.

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I just like this is just me stepping through.

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And that happened, though, the more I did that

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pretty soon, I stepped through and I was on the

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other side. And just, you know, those moments

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were so precious with the Lord that this is,

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he wants us to be with him. Absolutely. He wants

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us to build that, to get to know him at a deeper

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level. Right. Always deeper. Always deeper. There's

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always something deeper. There's always something

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higher. There's always something more. Yes. Remember

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Sister Gwen, our founder preached a message once.

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There's room at the top, you know. Yeah. Yes.

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There's room at the top. Exactly. Exactly. So

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you mentioned at a point in your life when you

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had a broken heart, but you went through some

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amazing things in your whole life. Why don't

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you go back and give us your background? So I

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was born in Bolivia, in La Paz, and I spent the

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first five years of my life in an orphanage.

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And before I was adopted into a family in Montana

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where I grew up, one of 18 children. I don't

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recommend that because of the lifestyle that

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was in it. And then it would be like 13 years

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of abuse because the adoption was not for the

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correct reason as far as on the adopted mother

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side. And so, however, through that, I've gotten

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to a point, and I'll just preface this for your

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listeners, is that you know, on this side of

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all the healing of it. And you look back on your

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whole journey, any of us, what we've gone through,

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we all have a story. And the forgiveness and

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understanding God's hand in it all had so deeply

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touched me that I realized because of my past,

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I am who I am today. Right. And I wouldn't trade

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for anything where I'm at today. Right. And so

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when people look at my past, like, no, I would

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have. gone through it again to have what I have

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today. Absolutely. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it

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was brutal. And so just starting on the level

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of, let's say, when I speak about my broken heart,

00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:21.659
I was raised up to believe that my biological

00:14:21.659 --> 00:14:25.259
mother didn't want me, my biological father didn't,

00:14:25.259 --> 00:14:27.720
my aunt didn't, and that's why I ended up in

00:14:27.720 --> 00:14:30.220
the orphanage. And then when I was introduced,

00:14:30.340 --> 00:14:33.080
now this part was true, introduced to the Bartow

00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:37.139
family, that my adopted mother, When my dad handed

00:14:37.139 --> 00:14:39.440
me over to her, and this is the first memory

00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:42.080
I have. I'm almost five years old. We land to

00:14:42.080 --> 00:14:44.559
the airport in Spokane, Washington, and he's

00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:47.779
introducing me to my new family. And as he gets

00:14:47.779 --> 00:14:51.100
to Barbara, he hands me to her. Of course, he

00:14:51.100 --> 00:14:53.940
didn't know that I had been abused by the nuns

00:14:53.940 --> 00:14:56.500
and the women at the orphanage. So here now I

00:14:56.500 --> 00:14:58.899
finally have my daddy, and he's going to hand

00:14:58.899 --> 00:15:02.389
me to this woman, and I start crying. And she

00:15:02.389 --> 00:15:05.309
told me later, she said, that day you rejected

00:15:05.309 --> 00:15:08.909
me, so I rejected you. Oh, no. And that was the

00:15:08.909 --> 00:15:11.970
beginning of the 13 years. Wow. But what was

00:15:11.970 --> 00:15:14.370
really beautiful about it was, I say, that's

00:15:14.370 --> 00:15:17.669
my first memory. However, as I began to sit before

00:15:17.669 --> 00:15:20.269
the Lord, because how that happened, it created

00:15:20.269 --> 00:15:24.169
that spirit of rejection, the abandonment. And

00:15:24.169 --> 00:15:26.269
the more you tell yourself a story, and that

00:15:26.269 --> 00:15:28.389
story was told to me many times, it creates a

00:15:28.389 --> 00:15:31.590
belief system, a pattern of belief. And that

00:15:31.590 --> 00:15:34.929
belief then begins to shape your future and every

00:15:34.929 --> 00:15:37.789
day how you look at things. And so I carried

00:15:37.789 --> 00:15:40.610
with me that rejection, that abandonment, that

00:15:40.610 --> 00:15:43.789
the loneliness, being the black sheep of the

00:15:43.789 --> 00:15:47.169
family, all these things. But one day I was sitting

00:15:47.169 --> 00:15:50.370
with the Lord and we were talking about stories.

00:15:50.629 --> 00:15:53.690
And, you know, the law of polarity says there's

00:15:53.690 --> 00:15:56.789
two sides to every story. And what that means

00:15:56.789 --> 00:15:58.450
is, you know, you've never seen a one -sided

00:15:58.450 --> 00:16:02.110
piece of bread. Or one -sided piece of a coin.

00:16:02.509 --> 00:16:04.450
You know, there's two sides. That's the law of

00:16:04.450 --> 00:16:07.610
polarity. So he said, if that's the story you've

00:16:07.610 --> 00:16:09.990
been told, there must be another story. And I'm

00:16:09.990 --> 00:16:13.009
thinking, no, that is the story. You know, that's

00:16:13.009 --> 00:16:15.389
how deep my belief is. Like, that's the story.

00:16:15.529 --> 00:16:18.450
You know, and sometimes we get so gripped with

00:16:18.450 --> 00:16:20.730
the story that we don't have room to know, is

00:16:20.730 --> 00:16:23.629
there another story? And somebody asked me that

00:16:23.629 --> 00:16:25.710
one time. And I remember being so offended. It's

00:16:25.710 --> 00:16:27.909
like, do you not believe me? That's my story.

00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:30.480
And they said, but what if you had another story?

00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.580
Wow. And so I sat with the Lord, and I wrestled

00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:35.500
with this. I said, Lord, is there another story?

00:16:36.059 --> 00:16:39.539
And he said, yes. And he said, but you have to

00:16:39.539 --> 00:16:43.340
look for it. And so I went back in these times

00:16:43.340 --> 00:16:46.639
with him, engaged him, and we sat together, and

00:16:46.639 --> 00:16:49.539
he took me back to the beginning when I was born,

00:16:49.980 --> 00:16:54.879
actually conceived, because my biological mother

00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:59.360
was 16. And her father, my grandfather, was one

00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:03.179
of those Catholic style, very religious, you

00:17:03.179 --> 00:17:05.819
know, man of the law. And the fact that his daughter

00:17:05.819 --> 00:17:10.119
was pregnant out of wedlock. And so now is that,

00:17:10.140 --> 00:17:11.599
you know, it's like that wouldn't have been a

00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:14.220
happy home for me, you know, and with all this,

00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:16.099
the shame and stuff she would have gone through.

00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:19.599
Sure. So I'm born. And then, of course, she couldn't

00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:22.660
keep me in that family. So she gave me to my

00:17:22.660 --> 00:17:26.470
biological dad when he's 17. So I'm looking and,

00:17:26.490 --> 00:17:29.329
you know, seeing this, this is like a movie being

00:17:29.329 --> 00:17:32.410
played in front of me. And so now he's 17. And

00:17:32.410 --> 00:17:34.930
of course, I'm too young. I don't know what to

00:17:34.930 --> 00:17:37.450
do with this little baby. And so hands him over

00:17:37.450 --> 00:17:40.869
to his sister, his older sister, who was my aunt.

00:17:41.430 --> 00:17:43.609
And so she took care of me until I was about

00:17:43.609 --> 00:17:48.230
10 months old. And then I got really sick. and

00:17:48.230 --> 00:17:51.289
diagnosed with polio and a severe case of tonsillitis.

00:17:51.730 --> 00:17:55.470
And so now they find out the only medicine that's

00:17:55.470 --> 00:17:59.049
available is at the orphanage. And so they take

00:17:59.049 --> 00:18:01.609
me to the, she takes me, the aunt takes me to

00:18:01.609 --> 00:18:04.329
the orphanage, and they said this baby's about

00:18:04.329 --> 00:18:07.210
to die. That's how far gone I already was with

00:18:07.210 --> 00:18:11.670
the sickness. And so as a last resort to save

00:18:11.670 --> 00:18:14.569
my life, she said, let's admit her to the orphanage

00:18:14.569 --> 00:18:17.450
then. if this is the only hope, because the medicine

00:18:17.450 --> 00:18:20.890
there was for the orphans, and so the children

00:18:20.890 --> 00:18:23.210
under their care. And they said, like, well,

00:18:23.250 --> 00:18:26.490
we need her parents' signature. And this was

00:18:26.490 --> 00:18:28.930
the story I was told, that my parents were in

00:18:28.930 --> 00:18:32.569
prison. But she made up the story because they

00:18:32.569 --> 00:18:36.250
could see I was on my deathbed. And so she said

00:18:36.250 --> 00:18:38.289
that her parents are in prison, so I'm representing.

00:18:38.630 --> 00:18:40.349
And they're like, okay, we'll take your signature.

00:18:40.730 --> 00:18:43.369
And that's why I was handed over to the orphanage.

00:18:43.630 --> 00:18:47.690
A very different story from what I was told when

00:18:47.690 --> 00:18:52.150
nobody wants you. And then what was really, really

00:18:52.150 --> 00:18:55.589
special was the Lord took me back and said, there's

00:18:55.589 --> 00:18:58.670
more to the story because to deal with the abandonment

00:18:58.670 --> 00:19:02.369
issue and that rejection. And so I went back

00:19:02.369 --> 00:19:04.930
and this was how, you know, sometimes God shows

00:19:04.930 --> 00:19:07.930
us things and then he asks us questions. And

00:19:07.930 --> 00:19:11.430
it's in the questions. So going back, he said,

00:19:11.490 --> 00:19:14.400
there's another story. because there's a redeeming

00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:17.920
story to what I was feeling of rejection. And

00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:19.859
I said, Lord, what's the redeeming story? Because

00:19:19.859 --> 00:19:22.660
I don't know. I don't have any memories beyond

00:19:22.660 --> 00:19:25.079
the airport when he's introduced me to the new

00:19:25.079 --> 00:19:28.019
family. And so I'm thinking back, and all of

00:19:28.019 --> 00:19:31.299
a sudden I remembered my adopted parents told

00:19:31.299 --> 00:19:34.509
me their side of the story of the adoption. And

00:19:34.509 --> 00:19:38.210
now the pieces are coming together because they've

00:19:38.210 --> 00:19:40.630
had this hours magazine. It's called O -U -R

00:19:40.630 --> 00:19:42.970
-S, an hours magazine. It was awaiting children.

00:19:43.230 --> 00:19:45.430
And every child they had, there was a picture,

00:19:45.569 --> 00:19:48.009
there's their name, and then there's a description

00:19:48.009 --> 00:19:52.109
of them. For every child, except for me, there

00:19:52.109 --> 00:19:55.309
was no picture, there was no description, just

00:19:55.309 --> 00:19:58.210
my name. And they said, that one, we'll take

00:19:58.210 --> 00:20:01.980
that one. And so it would be a year long process.

00:20:02.359 --> 00:20:05.160
And then my dad got out, my adopted dad would

00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:07.319
get on the airplane, fly over to Bolivia, that

00:20:07.319 --> 00:20:10.180
long trip. And he gets to the orphanage, you

00:20:10.180 --> 00:20:11.759
know, now he's excited. He's going to meet his

00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:13.680
daughter, you know, it would be almost five years

00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:15.980
old. And he gets there, meets the people of the

00:20:15.980 --> 00:20:18.819
orphanage. They take him down the hallway and

00:20:18.819 --> 00:20:22.059
to where I'm at. And instead of seeing this vibrant,

00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:25.920
almost five year old, he sees this child about

00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:29.059
the size of a two year old. on the floor, crawling

00:20:29.059 --> 00:20:32.839
on the dirt floors. And just astonished, she's

00:20:32.839 --> 00:20:35.380
like, and he looked back at the people, the staff,

00:20:35.480 --> 00:20:38.000
and said, ¿Qué problema? Is there a problem?

00:20:38.380 --> 00:20:41.579
Why can't she not walk? ¿Por qué? And they're

00:20:41.579 --> 00:20:43.519
like, no, no, no, no, problema. You know, she

00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:47.059
just doesn't want to walk today. Oh. He did not

00:20:47.059 --> 00:20:50.059
know that I couldn't walk. You couldn't walk.

00:20:50.319 --> 00:20:53.019
I couldn't walk. And so he walks over to me,

00:20:53.059 --> 00:20:55.819
kneels down, and he looks at my little feet.

00:20:56.400 --> 00:21:00.059
And he said to himself, this baby has never walked.

00:21:00.859 --> 00:21:03.460
And in that moment, he had every right to get

00:21:03.460 --> 00:21:06.519
up and go back because that was not what they

00:21:06.519 --> 00:21:09.259
had agreed to and all of these things. That's

00:21:09.259 --> 00:21:12.140
why there was no description. Right. Right. And

00:21:12.140 --> 00:21:15.180
so instead, in that moment, he picked me up and

00:21:15.180 --> 00:21:18.339
he says, I'm taking her home. And that's when

00:21:18.339 --> 00:21:21.440
the Lord showed me that he chose you and you

00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:25.539
were chosen. And so to know that he actually,

00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:28.660
despite not knowing my history, despite not,

00:21:28.759 --> 00:21:30.839
you know, considering all the medical treatment

00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:34.400
I would need, anything like that, he said, I'm

00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:37.200
going to give you a second chance. And that's

00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:40.019
what Jesus gives for all of us, that second chance.

00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:42.880
So now I know what it feels like to be adopted

00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:46.960
in, to be grafted in, to be chosen. Beautiful.

00:21:48.019 --> 00:21:50.480
Beautiful. So that's how my beginning started

00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:54.119
into understanding, number one, there's always

00:21:54.119 --> 00:21:57.019
two sides to our story if you look for it. And

00:21:57.019 --> 00:21:59.799
that began the healing process as I began then

00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:03.319
my journey in the Lord. Wow. That's so beautiful.

00:22:03.579 --> 00:22:07.240
Yeah. So continue with your journey in the Lord.

00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:10.160
You've made it to Montana. You're growing up.

00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:13.599
Then what happened? Then when I was about seven

00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:16.819
years old. Now, like I said, we grew up in an

00:22:16.819 --> 00:22:20.099
Assemblies of God faith. But it was the letter

00:22:20.099 --> 00:22:22.220
of the word because, you know, we got whippings

00:22:22.220 --> 00:22:26.380
every day for whatever reasons. And it was always

00:22:26.380 --> 00:22:29.819
the scripture, you know, spoil the child. Spare

00:22:29.819 --> 00:22:32.240
the rod, spoil the child. Exactly. And that was

00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:35.000
used all the time as a reason why we got beaten

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:40.180
so many times. But God had his hand on me. Nonetheless,

00:22:40.339 --> 00:22:42.480
because there was something really, really special

00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.059
he did. Because just knowing the journey I'd

00:22:45.059 --> 00:22:48.779
be walking on, when I was eight years old, I

00:22:48.779 --> 00:22:51.740
found my little brother's accordion. And it was

00:22:51.740 --> 00:22:54.619
just this black, shiny instrument. And I'd watch

00:22:54.619 --> 00:22:56.380
him play it. It was just this little Horner black

00:22:56.380 --> 00:22:59.799
accordion. And I loved the sound. And so I'd

00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:02.000
ask my parents, can I learn to play the accordion?

00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:04.180
Because every child had to have some kind of

00:23:04.180 --> 00:23:06.940
music, whether it was voice or piano. But here

00:23:06.940 --> 00:23:09.140
he had the accordion. I was like, I like the

00:23:09.140 --> 00:23:10.640
accordion. And they're like, no, you're just

00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:12.779
trying to copy your brother. You go to the piano.

00:23:13.099 --> 00:23:15.799
Oh, my. So I'm like, okay, so I'll learn to play

00:23:15.799 --> 00:23:18.490
a piano. Did they have the block to get the pedals

00:23:18.490 --> 00:23:21.230
where your feet could reach? I sat on a phone

00:23:21.230 --> 00:23:23.569
book, you know, those big yellow pages with the

00:23:23.569 --> 00:23:26.210
phone book. That was me sitting on top of that

00:23:26.210 --> 00:23:29.109
to, you know, reach the keys. So my legs just

00:23:29.109 --> 00:23:31.990
dangled, you know, just because I was so small,

00:23:31.990 --> 00:23:34.630
I couldn't reach the pedals. So I would sit and

00:23:34.630 --> 00:23:37.289
practice the piano. And then, but every day it's

00:23:37.289 --> 00:23:39.289
like, you know, can I play the accordion? They

00:23:39.289 --> 00:23:41.750
kept saying no. Finally, eight months later,

00:23:41.990 --> 00:23:44.539
they finally like, okay. I could play the recording

00:23:44.539 --> 00:23:45.920
because they could see the progress I had made

00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:48.259
on the piano. And so I caught up to where my

00:23:48.259 --> 00:23:50.920
brother was, and I also had really nimble fingers,

00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:53.279
so I was fast. And I think my brother didn't

00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:55.700
like that so much because he's like, I just like

00:23:55.700 --> 00:23:59.920
the slow Western songs. And so later I would

00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:04.740
learn that that was my... way of escape from

00:24:04.740 --> 00:24:07.900
all the trauma I was going through. And so that,

00:24:07.900 --> 00:24:10.700
that just the Lord protected me because later

00:24:10.700 --> 00:24:12.660
I found out, you know, out of all, you know,

00:24:12.680 --> 00:24:15.279
12 of us that were adopted, uh, they had six

00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:17.980
biological children and then adopted 12. I was

00:24:17.980 --> 00:24:21.039
the only one that didn't end up in a mental institution

00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:25.140
or in prison. That's how bad those 13 years were.

00:24:25.380 --> 00:24:27.839
But, and I go back and say, why, you know, other

00:24:27.839 --> 00:24:31.059
than God's hand on me, but it was the music.

00:24:31.910 --> 00:24:35.170
Because I would spend hours in my room practicing.

00:24:35.470 --> 00:24:39.109
And I could be away and start honing this gift

00:24:39.109 --> 00:24:42.910
that God gave me. And so as I journeyed through,

00:24:43.170 --> 00:24:47.009
that became my voice. Because growing up, we

00:24:47.009 --> 00:24:49.009
weren't allowed to question authority. We weren't

00:24:49.009 --> 00:24:51.549
allowed to have our own opinions, thoughts. We

00:24:51.549 --> 00:24:53.430
were told what to believe. We were told what

00:24:53.430 --> 00:24:55.750
to say. We were told everything. It was like

00:24:55.750 --> 00:25:00.480
robots. But my music became my voice. Yeah. And

00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:04.000
so actually all the way up to college, they actually

00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:07.220
made a degree for me for the accordion. They

00:25:07.220 --> 00:25:09.619
just said, hey, we'll give you two years. You

00:25:09.619 --> 00:25:12.019
prove to us this is a classical instrument. Oh,

00:25:12.279 --> 00:25:15.900
look at that. Yeah. And so I was like, OK, you

00:25:15.900 --> 00:25:18.480
know, we can do this. And so, you know, I told

00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:20.799
him about a teacher in Spokane because I competed

00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:22.660
at a competition with his students. So I knew

00:25:22.660 --> 00:25:25.779
he was, you know, he was good. And he took me

00:25:25.779 --> 00:25:28.619
on through, and at that two years, I had to perform

00:25:28.619 --> 00:25:32.220
in front of the entire music faculty. And they

00:25:32.220 --> 00:25:34.500
had, you know, some of them like, oh, this is

00:25:34.500 --> 00:25:36.019
going to be interesting, you know, sitting up

00:25:36.019 --> 00:25:38.220
there with their arms folded, like this is an

00:25:38.220 --> 00:25:40.920
accordion, it's polkas, you know, what could

00:25:40.920 --> 00:25:44.819
you do? And so I had to play three pieces, and

00:25:44.819 --> 00:25:48.309
the last one was a Baroque piece. A toccatina

00:25:48.309 --> 00:25:50.230
and fugue. So the right hand is doing a melody,

00:25:50.349 --> 00:25:53.569
the left hand is doing a melody. And so you can't,

00:25:53.569 --> 00:25:56.349
you typically hear the accordion as that, you

00:25:56.349 --> 00:25:58.829
know, rhythmic and all of that. And this was

00:25:58.829 --> 00:26:01.589
now more like the organ music, you know, think

00:26:01.589 --> 00:26:04.670
of Bach. Good for you. So I played that. So did

00:26:04.670 --> 00:26:06.839
you come up with that on your own? Well, my teacher,

00:26:06.980 --> 00:26:08.680
you know, because it's classical, you've got

00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:11.240
to play all the classical, you know, Baroque

00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:16.240
music. And so the last one to win over was my

00:26:16.240 --> 00:26:19.440
choir teacher. And he's like, he said, after

00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:21.279
that tangatina and fugue, he said, I'm like,

00:26:21.400 --> 00:26:24.019
I give up. What can she not play on that accordion?

00:26:24.220 --> 00:26:27.160
And so they granted the degree and said, okay,

00:26:27.259 --> 00:26:30.119
give you another two years. So I graduated with

00:26:30.119 --> 00:26:33.039
an accordion performance degree and a music ed

00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:36.650
degree for choral and band. Tremendous. So that

00:26:36.650 --> 00:26:39.869
was the music part of me. About seven years later,

00:26:39.970 --> 00:26:43.569
I met another teacher who was able to put a language

00:26:43.569 --> 00:26:46.529
to all the music I learned as a growing up. Because

00:26:46.529 --> 00:26:48.930
I didn't know what I was doing, really. But she's

00:26:48.930 --> 00:26:51.559
like, huh. This is called this in technique,

00:26:51.779 --> 00:26:53.799
which is now I could start doing it intentionally.

00:26:54.539 --> 00:26:57.259
And then she just prepared me for the world championships.

00:26:57.799 --> 00:27:00.759
Because I wanted to take my own students to the

00:27:00.759 --> 00:27:03.880
highest level they could, but I never wanted

00:27:03.880 --> 00:27:06.440
to take somebody I've never been. You know, where

00:27:06.440 --> 00:27:08.099
some, you know, take them where I've never been.

00:27:08.220 --> 00:27:10.539
And so I went through that to understand the

00:27:10.539 --> 00:27:13.099
emotional pressures, you know, the physically

00:27:13.099 --> 00:27:16.740
and all of that, you know. And so God had used

00:27:16.740 --> 00:27:21.539
my music to not only keep me sane until those

00:27:21.539 --> 00:27:24.380
times where I could experience his healing power

00:27:24.380 --> 00:27:29.009
in him through my music. So let's back up now

00:27:29.009 --> 00:27:32.029
to I'm 21. I'm almost out of college. So had

00:27:32.029 --> 00:27:34.349
you done the championships yet? Not yet. Okay.

00:27:34.390 --> 00:27:36.789
All right. I don't want to cut it short, but

00:27:36.789 --> 00:27:40.809
I want to make sure we go there. So at 21, I'm

00:27:40.809 --> 00:27:43.910
just about to graduate from college. And I'm

00:27:43.910 --> 00:27:46.910
headed to Tacoma, Washington to spend the summer

00:27:46.910 --> 00:27:49.089
with a couple that would take care of me during

00:27:49.089 --> 00:27:54.009
the summer. And on the way, I just started getting

00:27:54.009 --> 00:27:57.839
just this flood of tears began. And it's like,

00:27:57.900 --> 00:28:00.299
I don't know what's going on. And at this time,

00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:03.220
my family had really cut me off, mostly Barbara,

00:28:03.539 --> 00:28:06.240
the adopted mother. And of course, the saying

00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:08.240
was, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:10.779
And so she trained us like if she wasn't happy

00:28:10.779 --> 00:28:12.420
with somebody, we just cut them off. That was

00:28:12.420 --> 00:28:16.339
just the norm. So I'm driving. And so I never

00:28:16.339 --> 00:28:19.279
got to stop by the farm to say hello. And all

00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:20.779
of a sudden, the only thing I could think of

00:28:20.779 --> 00:28:22.660
on that drive was a five -hour drive with my

00:28:22.660 --> 00:28:26.619
dad. And so it's like, wow, I wish I could, I

00:28:26.619 --> 00:28:28.900
just could see him. I don't know why everything,

00:28:29.099 --> 00:28:32.539
everything I saw reminded me of him. And I'm

00:28:32.539 --> 00:28:35.180
like sobbing in my car now, thinking what in

00:28:35.180 --> 00:28:37.559
the heck is going on, you know? I even stopped

00:28:37.559 --> 00:28:40.680
by a gas station and I'm fumbling with the whatever.

00:28:40.940 --> 00:28:42.900
And a guy came up and he said, let me help you.

00:28:42.940 --> 00:28:45.940
And he puts fuel in my gas tank. And I watch

00:28:45.940 --> 00:28:47.779
him like, that's exactly what my dad would have

00:28:47.779 --> 00:28:51.779
done. Not knowing it was about that time. He

00:28:51.779 --> 00:28:54.180
was killed in a work -related accident. Oh, no.

00:28:54.400 --> 00:28:57.819
And I never saw him again. So you were thinking

00:28:57.819 --> 00:29:00.240
of him because it was an eternal connection.

00:29:00.339 --> 00:29:03.720
Yes, yes, because of that choice that he made.

00:29:03.779 --> 00:29:06.039
Because people often ask me, like, why do you

00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:09.279
carry on the last name Bartow? Because of all

00:29:09.279 --> 00:29:11.740
the abuse that you went through, why carry that

00:29:11.740 --> 00:29:14.500
tradition? You could change his name. And I said,

00:29:14.740 --> 00:29:17.779
no, because of that one decision my dad made.

00:29:18.660 --> 00:29:22.940
For that decision, I will always honor him. So

00:29:22.940 --> 00:29:26.400
that began this, this fall of depression because

00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:29.940
now my dad is gone, you know, and whatever what

00:29:29.940 --> 00:29:32.660
he was or wasn't, he was still my dad. Sure.

00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:35.759
You know, so. It went down to, like, I didn't

00:29:35.759 --> 00:29:38.839
know what I wanted to do. You know, my adopted

00:29:38.839 --> 00:29:41.480
mother said I had, number one, religiously flipped,

00:29:41.660 --> 00:29:44.559
you know, and that I didn't choose the right

00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:46.640
degree. I should have never gone into music.

00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:49.400
And so all these things, I was kind of confused.

00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:52.720
Like, but music is, you know, I've got the degree

00:29:52.720 --> 00:29:57.200
now, right? So anyway, so I'm headed. I had one

00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:59.039
more semester to do. Even though I graduated,

00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:01.819
I had one semester of student teaching. And so

00:30:01.819 --> 00:30:04.900
I'm back at the campus. And I was always known

00:30:04.900 --> 00:30:07.599
as the smiling one. I was always happy because

00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:11.279
I was free on campus. I was the social butterfly.

00:30:11.539 --> 00:30:14.960
Back on the farm, I was this introvert. You just

00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:18.039
do what you're supposed to do. I didn't know

00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:22.619
how bad my upbringing was. until I'm in a class

00:30:22.619 --> 00:30:25.319
on college about, and it's called Abusing Neglect.

00:30:25.420 --> 00:30:28.140
Because when you are certified to the state of

00:30:28.140 --> 00:30:31.319
Washington, now you've got to know what it looks

00:30:31.319 --> 00:30:34.200
like and to report it to the state. Oh my. And

00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:37.900
so I'm watching them right on the whiteboard,

00:30:38.059 --> 00:30:41.059
all these things, all these signs to watch for,

00:30:41.099 --> 00:30:45.039
and thinking, dear Lord, that was my life. Wow.

00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:47.359
And I didn't know, because as a kid, you don't

00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:48.759
know what's going on. Yeah, you've got nothing

00:30:48.759 --> 00:30:51.640
to compare to. Exactly. And I'm thinking, wow,

00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:55.779
I had a messed up childhood. Wow. So I thought,

00:30:55.859 --> 00:30:58.720
okay, that's interesting. Anyway, so now I'm

00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:00.759
in this depression state, and I don't know what

00:31:00.759 --> 00:31:03.660
to do. And I'm pretty much lost, because now

00:31:03.660 --> 00:31:08.200
no family, no connections. And I was at a worship

00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:10.680
service on campus. It was a Presbyterian -based

00:31:10.680 --> 00:31:15.259
university. And I said, God, I need help. I don't

00:31:15.259 --> 00:31:18.380
know what to do. I need help. And that week I

00:31:18.380 --> 00:31:21.359
got this postcard in the mail about this healing

00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:24.500
crusade that's happening in Boise, Idaho. And

00:31:24.500 --> 00:31:27.480
everything in my heart just leapt. I'm like,

00:31:27.559 --> 00:31:30.420
I want to go. I want to go. And so I thought,

00:31:30.500 --> 00:31:33.099
well, let me just take the first step. But I

00:31:33.099 --> 00:31:35.450
didn't even have to take the first step. I got

00:31:35.450 --> 00:31:38.329
a notification from my boss saying, hey, by the

00:31:38.329 --> 00:31:39.809
way, we're going to be closed this Thursday,

00:31:39.869 --> 00:31:41.690
Friday, and Saturday, so you're free, you know,

00:31:41.690 --> 00:31:43.750
whatever you need to do, extra homework. I said,

00:31:43.829 --> 00:31:46.349
really? Because it was the same week as this

00:31:46.349 --> 00:31:50.250
healing crusade. And then I go to class and find

00:31:50.250 --> 00:31:53.069
out all my classes have been canceled, except

00:31:53.069 --> 00:31:57.170
for my choir concert. And I'm thinking, oh, my

00:31:57.170 --> 00:31:59.349
goodness. It's like God was clearing out the

00:31:59.349 --> 00:32:02.269
calendar. And then I was talking to a friend

00:32:02.269 --> 00:32:04.009
of mine. I was telling her, I was like, yeah,

00:32:04.029 --> 00:32:07.529
I'm going to go to Boise, Idaho. And she said,

00:32:07.730 --> 00:32:10.869
oh, I'm from Boise. And I said, you never told

00:32:10.869 --> 00:32:13.250
me that. And she said, yeah. In fact, I'm going

00:32:13.250 --> 00:32:16.170
to a friend's for the weekend. So she said, you

00:32:16.170 --> 00:32:18.609
can stay at my house. We've got extra bedroom.

00:32:18.849 --> 00:32:21.089
You can stay there. In fact, my dad took a week

00:32:21.089 --> 00:32:24.680
off. From from work so he can take you to and

00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:27.480
from the crusade. It was a healing crusade So

00:32:27.480 --> 00:32:31.000
I said great and now I'm starting to shake looks

00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:33.539
I'm like this is real like God's about to do

00:32:33.539 --> 00:32:36.279
something Real and I didn't know what to think

00:32:36.279 --> 00:32:41.680
about it. But so now the last block was my choir

00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:45.079
teacher Yeah, I was president of the woman's

00:32:45.079 --> 00:32:47.440
choir and it was going to be our first concert

00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:49.920
Oh boy, and it was doing the healing crusade

00:32:50.669 --> 00:32:54.369
And so I go up really quietly to his office,

00:32:54.710 --> 00:32:57.390
knock on the door. And, you know, because I was

00:32:57.390 --> 00:32:59.630
such a timid girl, I never spoke up for myself,

00:32:59.750 --> 00:33:01.869
didn't have a voice. The music was my accordion

00:33:01.869 --> 00:33:04.670
was my voice. So I got there and I say, Mr. Pretty,

00:33:04.849 --> 00:33:07.549
that's his name, Mr. Pretty. And he said, yeah,

00:33:07.589 --> 00:33:12.670
what do you want? I just came to tell you that

00:33:12.670 --> 00:33:16.309
I'm going to be missing the choir concert. And

00:33:16.309 --> 00:33:20.039
he's like, why? I said, because. I'm going to

00:33:20.039 --> 00:33:23.480
a healing crusade. He just looked at me and he's

00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:26.900
like, and what am I going to tell the women,

00:33:27.079 --> 00:33:30.559
the women's choir, all of them, that their president

00:33:30.559 --> 00:33:33.420
is not attending the first concert of the year?

00:33:34.500 --> 00:33:37.940
And all of a sudden, just something in me just

00:33:37.940 --> 00:33:40.119
rose up. Because remember, I don't have a voice.

00:33:40.200 --> 00:33:42.660
I can never speak up for myself. And just came

00:33:42.660 --> 00:33:45.400
up and I said, you tell them it wasn't your decision.

00:33:46.709 --> 00:33:48.569
And I'm like, class of my mouth, because I'm

00:33:48.569 --> 00:33:51.490
like, oh my gosh, I just talked back to my teacher,

00:33:51.569 --> 00:33:54.210
and now I'm being in big trouble. Because if

00:33:54.210 --> 00:33:56.589
you miss one concert, your grade is automatically

00:33:56.589 --> 00:33:59.589
dropped a letter. And at this point, I was a

00:33:59.589 --> 00:34:03.410
straight -A student. And he's like, good answer,

00:34:03.670 --> 00:34:07.170
good answer. He said, you know, I've always wanted

00:34:07.170 --> 00:34:11.349
to go to one of these healing crusades. He said,

00:34:11.409 --> 00:34:13.869
well, I'll tell you what, you go. You have my

00:34:13.869 --> 00:34:18.679
blessing to go. Was he a believer? Well, he knew

00:34:18.679 --> 00:34:21.360
about Jesus and all that. I don't know how deep

00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:26.460
his relationship was, you know. And so I'm getting

00:34:26.460 --> 00:34:28.940
ready to leave. And he says, by the way, I won't

00:34:28.940 --> 00:34:32.480
dock you a letter grade. Wow. Just tell me how

00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:34.420
it goes and I hope you get off those crutches.

00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:47.659
Wow. I had never seen the divine hand of God

00:34:47.659 --> 00:34:52.639
in a situation. And this was that. And I get

00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:55.239
there, and 15 ,000 people. I'd never been in

00:34:55.239 --> 00:34:57.639
a crowd that big. They're all worshiping God,

00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:00.659
and I'm thinking, this is amazing. So I raise

00:35:00.659 --> 00:35:02.980
my hands, and I'm worshiping with them, just

00:35:02.980 --> 00:35:04.679
watching what they do, like I'll do the same

00:35:04.679 --> 00:35:08.960
thing. And there was a moment where the evangelist,

00:35:09.059 --> 00:35:11.340
I was thinking that the atmosphere, the air is

00:35:11.340 --> 00:35:14.559
so thick. I'd never tangibly felt that before.

00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:17.579
And as soon as I thought that, the evangelist

00:35:17.579 --> 00:35:21.179
said, the presence of God is so thick right now.

00:35:21.500 --> 00:35:25.380
And I'm like, this is you, God? Like, you can

00:35:25.380 --> 00:35:30.480
be tangibly felt? And I was like, I didn't know

00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:33.500
that. Because I had grown up in the religious

00:35:33.500 --> 00:35:37.480
part, not a relationship part. And that was the

00:35:37.480 --> 00:35:40.039
beginning when God began to heal my heart because

00:35:40.039 --> 00:35:44.619
I got to experience him as the loving God that

00:35:44.619 --> 00:35:48.980
he is, not the picture that I was presented growing

00:35:48.980 --> 00:35:52.869
up. Because a lot of us as kids, our parents,

00:35:52.949 --> 00:35:55.269
how we see our parents can be also translated

00:35:55.269 --> 00:35:58.090
to how we see God. Exactly. And so I didn't know

00:35:58.090 --> 00:36:00.349
about love. Like the words, I love you was never

00:36:00.349 --> 00:36:02.750
mentioned in my household. You know, I had to

00:36:02.750 --> 00:36:04.929
ask for a hug. And at that, you know, it was

00:36:04.929 --> 00:36:08.909
a side hug, you know, so pretty deprived in some

00:36:08.909 --> 00:36:11.969
areas. But God, you know, as he began to show

00:36:11.969 --> 00:36:14.610
me his love and begin that healing process and

00:36:14.610 --> 00:36:18.130
that journey. Now I look at it and it's just

00:36:18.130 --> 00:36:21.250
like that. You know, he's so amazing. So when

00:36:21.250 --> 00:36:23.710
I come to the schools with Bruce and Reshma,

00:36:23.829 --> 00:36:27.389
it's just an honor to get to stand there and

00:36:27.389 --> 00:36:30.789
I'm a living testimony of his love. Absolutely.

00:36:30.789 --> 00:36:32.650
And I get to speak about his love and get to

00:36:32.650 --> 00:36:36.250
speak about him as faith. Wow. Yeah, so it could

00:36:36.250 --> 00:36:38.769
go on and on. But that was kind of that part

00:36:38.769 --> 00:36:41.750
of the story of how I got to where I'm at today.

00:36:42.429 --> 00:36:45.889
Wow. Wow. So then what happened with the accordion?

00:36:46.809 --> 00:36:51.750
Oh, the accordion. So I met this lady, actually

00:36:51.750 --> 00:36:54.550
heard her through another, one of my students.

00:36:54.989 --> 00:36:57.610
And she had asked me to play for her wedding.

00:36:58.150 --> 00:37:01.650
And she's not a believer. This is a special story.

00:37:02.050 --> 00:37:05.230
She's not a believer, but I had wanted to always

00:37:05.230 --> 00:37:08.489
work on my technique as a musician. And so...

00:37:08.800 --> 00:37:10.440
played for her wedding, and then she asked me

00:37:10.440 --> 00:37:13.260
to play for a French concert. And that was really

00:37:13.260 --> 00:37:15.960
fun. And then we never heard anything, no communication.

00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:18.760
And then a student calls up and says, hey, what

00:37:18.760 --> 00:37:21.059
do you know about the Taubman technique? And

00:37:21.059 --> 00:37:23.340
I'm thinking, Dorothy Taubman? How do you know

00:37:23.340 --> 00:37:25.800
about this technique? Because I had seen it,

00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:28.539
but it was like over $1 ,000 to purchase her

00:37:28.539 --> 00:37:32.059
training on piano technique. And so I was saving

00:37:32.059 --> 00:37:34.400
up money every month, just a little bit at a

00:37:34.400 --> 00:37:36.079
time, because that was a lot of money for me

00:37:36.079 --> 00:37:40.099
back then. He said, yeah, Kendall Feeney was

00:37:40.099 --> 00:37:43.179
talking about it. And I was like, Kendall? He's

00:37:43.179 --> 00:37:45.420
like, yeah. And this is the lady I was playing

00:37:45.420 --> 00:37:48.940
with for her wedding and her French concert.

00:37:49.280 --> 00:37:52.360
And so I called Kendall up. I didn't even say,

00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:54.940
how are you? I said, Kendall, you teach this

00:37:54.940 --> 00:37:57.860
technique? And she said, yeah, I teach it. And

00:37:57.860 --> 00:38:01.860
I'm like, I want to start lessons ASAP. Wow.

00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:06.789
And so I was, what, probably 31? In 2007. I don't

00:38:06.789 --> 00:38:11.210
even know how old I was, but 2007. And so I began

00:38:11.210 --> 00:38:14.389
training with her and she put a language to what

00:38:14.389 --> 00:38:17.510
I was doing in music because nobody could understand

00:38:17.510 --> 00:38:19.809
or tell me because they're like, no, no, no,

00:38:19.829 --> 00:38:21.670
you just play that. But they couldn't explain

00:38:21.670 --> 00:38:24.909
it to me. Even my university teacher, she would

00:38:24.909 --> 00:38:27.769
play some diddle on the piano and came alive.

00:38:28.130 --> 00:38:31.239
And I said, how did you do that? She said. I

00:38:31.239 --> 00:38:32.920
just did this. And like, I know, but what's that

00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:35.139
called? Because I could hear something behind

00:38:35.139 --> 00:38:38.400
it. And she said, I don't know how to explain

00:38:38.400 --> 00:38:40.119
that. You know, I just played it. I was like,

00:38:40.199 --> 00:38:44.059
okay. And I was continuing on in the music and

00:38:44.059 --> 00:38:46.699
people would say, like, you just do something

00:38:46.699 --> 00:38:49.039
with music. But it's obvious you don't know what

00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:51.199
you're doing. It just comes out of you. I'm like,

00:38:51.219 --> 00:38:52.840
I wish somebody could tell me what I'm doing.

00:38:53.300 --> 00:38:56.079
And that was when Kendall stepped in. And she

00:38:56.079 --> 00:38:59.179
said, this is a technique called this. Now let

00:38:59.179 --> 00:39:01.659
me help you use it intentionally and do it even

00:39:01.659 --> 00:39:04.019
more in what you were doing. And that just took

00:39:04.019 --> 00:39:07.860
me a whole nother level. And so I had known about

00:39:07.860 --> 00:39:10.559
the world championships and I said, I want to

00:39:10.559 --> 00:39:13.539
compete there. And so she said, okay. She said,

00:39:13.579 --> 00:39:15.260
I've never played the accordion. I said, but

00:39:15.260 --> 00:39:19.139
you're a musician. It's music to music, regardless

00:39:19.139 --> 00:39:21.880
of your instrument. And so she's like, game on,

00:39:21.980 --> 00:39:24.960
I'll do it. And so she helped me with the artistry.

00:39:25.280 --> 00:39:28.400
And then I flew to France and studied with Frederic

00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:30.679
Deschamps, who he's known for producing world

00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:33.760
champions. And so I studied with a month with

00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:36.519
him. We were practicing up to 16 hours a day.

00:39:36.980 --> 00:39:41.400
And then one week before we're leaving for Italy

00:39:41.400 --> 00:39:44.739
to compete, he's timing my program because you

00:39:44.739 --> 00:39:47.639
have to be within minutes. And contrasting styles

00:39:47.639 --> 00:39:50.659
of pieces, technical, lyrical, all these things.

00:39:50.780 --> 00:39:53.579
And he said, oops, we're short three minutes.

00:39:53.860 --> 00:39:56.739
Uh -oh. And I'm like, Fred, what are we going

00:39:56.739 --> 00:39:58.480
to do? He said, you've got to learn another piece.

00:39:59.400 --> 00:40:03.099
I said, in one week? He said, I mean, because

00:40:03.099 --> 00:40:05.280
at a championship level, those pieces are not

00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:08.699
simple. Right. He said, we've got one week. I

00:40:08.699 --> 00:40:11.000
said, okay, what am I playing? And he pulled

00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:13.199
out a piece of music, and he said this one. It's

00:40:13.199 --> 00:40:15.000
four pages long. I think we can learn it quick

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:17.960
enough. I said, okay. So back to the practice

00:40:17.960 --> 00:40:22.000
room. Now I'm nervous. I should say. So seven

00:40:22.000 --> 00:40:25.440
-day countdown. Day four. I'm in the lessons,

00:40:25.500 --> 00:40:28.900
and the Russian competitor, we're going to be

00:40:28.900 --> 00:40:31.679
competing against each other. The Italian competitor,

00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:34.519
the German competitor, we're all in the same

00:40:34.519 --> 00:40:37.360
house, in the same place, studying with the same

00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:39.920
teacher. We know we're all competing against

00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:42.400
each other. So the Russian candidate comes and

00:40:42.400 --> 00:40:45.239
sits and listens to my lesson on this piece.

00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:48.780
And he's like, Fred. And he said, what? He's

00:40:48.780 --> 00:40:51.780
like, are you sure? That's how bad it must have

00:40:51.780 --> 00:40:56.480
sounded. Fred's like, you know what? Patricia

00:40:56.480 --> 00:40:59.239
likes a challenge. And I like a challenge. Yeah,

00:40:59.320 --> 00:41:02.219
so this is going to be all right. Wow. I'm thinking,

00:41:02.360 --> 00:41:06.119
okay, that's day four. Day five. Day six, I'm

00:41:06.119 --> 00:41:09.280
finally getting it memorized. Not full speed.

00:41:09.579 --> 00:41:12.840
Of course, now day seven, we're traveling. And

00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:16.340
so getting it together. And there's two rounds.

00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:19.179
So they eliminate a lot of people in the first

00:41:19.179 --> 00:41:22.699
round. And so I made it into the second round.

00:41:22.820 --> 00:41:25.380
Now it's against the Russian that was there,

00:41:25.500 --> 00:41:30.079
the Italian, the German, myself. So we're heading

00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:33.260
in one at a time. I walk in, and it's a panel

00:41:33.260 --> 00:41:36.610
of judges, seven men. standing there, black suits.

00:41:36.909 --> 00:41:40.570
And I thought, this is a friendly crowd. So I

00:41:40.570 --> 00:41:43.389
sit down. They carry, I have a 24 -pound concert

00:41:43.389 --> 00:41:45.989
accordion. I sit there. I'm like, I am not playing

00:41:45.989 --> 00:41:48.030
for them. I'm going to play for the crowd. That's

00:41:48.030 --> 00:41:50.289
how I grew up playing, you know, play for them.

00:41:50.710 --> 00:41:54.289
And so I sit there, and the final round, and

00:41:54.289 --> 00:41:57.829
of course, this new piece, made it through. Goodness,

00:41:57.929 --> 00:42:02.750
that was a moment. And came in third place. It

00:42:02.750 --> 00:42:07.530
was Russia. Italy, and U .S. But what it did

00:42:07.530 --> 00:42:12.030
was not only got my championship title, was that

00:42:12.030 --> 00:42:14.949
it opened the doors internationally for me for

00:42:14.949 --> 00:42:18.190
the music world at the highest level because

00:42:18.190 --> 00:42:20.309
all the different countries were standing there

00:42:20.309 --> 00:42:24.610
because once U .S. was announced that it was

00:42:24.610 --> 00:42:27.000
going to be present. A lot of the other countries

00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:29.980
came together to see because U .S. had not been

00:42:29.980 --> 00:42:34.619
represented in decades. I'm sure. And then it

00:42:34.619 --> 00:42:37.900
was a female. Right. Because accordion is such

00:42:37.900 --> 00:42:41.760
a physical instrument. It's more male predominant.

00:42:42.079 --> 00:42:44.639
But you have such upper body strength because

00:42:44.639 --> 00:42:48.260
of the crutches and all getting around. Yeah.

00:42:48.300 --> 00:42:50.579
Just getting in and out of things. I watched

00:42:50.579 --> 00:42:54.570
you the first time getting into the car. At the

00:42:54.570 --> 00:42:56.889
airport. At the airport. And it's like, okay,

00:42:57.130 --> 00:43:00.570
she's got this. She knows exactly what she's

00:43:00.570 --> 00:43:02.949
doing. She's been doing this a long time. Yes.

00:43:02.949 --> 00:43:06.809
Yeah, I got this drink. And so because it opened

00:43:06.809 --> 00:43:10.659
those doors. And I wasn't tied to the political

00:43:10.659 --> 00:43:13.000
arena in the U .S. because in everything there's

00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:16.000
the politics. And so they're like, did you not

00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:18.840
represent your country through the legal channels?

00:43:18.940 --> 00:43:21.099
I'm like, I didn't even know. I needed to go

00:43:21.099 --> 00:43:23.320
through one of the associations in the U .S.

00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:25.780
And I'm so glad I didn't because then they would

00:43:25.780 --> 00:43:30.559
own me. I did this because I wanted to. prepare

00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:33.239
the way for my students wow you know and so i

00:43:33.239 --> 00:43:35.260
didn't know that i didn't know you know to go

00:43:35.260 --> 00:43:38.920
to a teacher by myself and to do that and so

00:43:38.920 --> 00:43:41.460
and the fact that i played international music

00:43:41.460 --> 00:43:44.500
it wasn't just like the stuff from u .s they

00:43:44.500 --> 00:43:47.219
said we've never had a u .s candidate you know

00:43:47.219 --> 00:43:50.619
even back then play any of our music wow and

00:43:50.619 --> 00:43:52.579
but i'm like well thankfully i had an international

00:43:52.579 --> 00:43:56.219
teacher frederick who gave me some of that repertoire

00:43:56.219 --> 00:43:59.539
and i'm like i liked it let's do it And it opened

00:43:59.539 --> 00:44:03.380
up so many doors. And then I was invited to be

00:44:03.380 --> 00:44:06.320
one of the juries for the World Championships.

00:44:06.699 --> 00:44:09.199
Wow. So it's my claim to fame because they called

00:44:09.199 --> 00:44:11.739
us by our country. You know, Mr. Germany, Mr.

00:44:11.940 --> 00:44:16.260
Italy, Mr. Portugal, Miss USA. Wow. That's right.

00:44:16.539 --> 00:44:21.579
My fun moment there. So it was just a way that

00:44:21.579 --> 00:44:24.639
God opened the door to speak to those people

00:44:24.639 --> 00:44:27.860
and be more of a light to them because it's more

00:44:27.860 --> 00:44:31.019
of a worldly setting. One of our worship leaders,

00:44:31.159 --> 00:44:34.619
Clarence, he studied at ORU and they had a European

00:44:34.619 --> 00:44:39.059
teacher. And he was very strict. And he says,

00:44:39.079 --> 00:44:40.639
no, I want to teach you something different.

00:44:40.719 --> 00:44:43.760
I want to teach you. where you will always have

00:44:43.760 --> 00:44:46.739
one finger on a key at all times so you will

00:44:46.739 --> 00:44:49.800
know where you're at. And that has been such

00:44:49.800 --> 00:44:53.320
a blessing because he can just... Talk and worship

00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:55.619
while he's playing, you know, and I thought.

00:44:55.760 --> 00:44:57.900
And keep his eyes closed. And keep his eyes closed.

00:44:57.940 --> 00:45:01.000
Yeah. You know, and that was because of this

00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:03.579
European teacher that, you know, is not always

00:45:03.579 --> 00:45:08.159
very nice. Yes, I was. You know, I nearly quit

00:45:08.159 --> 00:45:10.840
my degree three times because the teacher I had

00:45:10.840 --> 00:45:13.440
for the accordion was Estonian. Estonian. And

00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:16.900
so it was like every week I left lessons in tears.

00:45:17.300 --> 00:45:20.280
And so about that two -year mark, I was like,

00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:23.960
I can't do this anymore. And I was playing for

00:45:23.960 --> 00:45:25.900
a function in Portland. And this little lady

00:45:25.900 --> 00:45:28.440
came up to me. And I'd known her for many years.

00:45:28.780 --> 00:45:30.599
And she put her arm around me and said, Patricia,

00:45:30.739 --> 00:45:34.800
how's accordion going? And I looked at her and

00:45:34.800 --> 00:45:37.539
I said, because it's like I couldn't lie. But

00:45:37.539 --> 00:45:39.980
I didn't know anything positive to say. I said,

00:45:39.980 --> 00:45:46.500
I don't like it anymore. And she knew the teacher.

00:45:46.539 --> 00:45:48.840
And she said, you know what? Remember all the

00:45:48.840 --> 00:45:51.869
fun you had with it. And she said, you can do

00:45:51.869 --> 00:45:54.429
anything for two more years. Two more years.

00:45:54.869 --> 00:45:58.929
And I thought, true, you know. Okay. And so because

00:45:58.929 --> 00:46:02.769
of her, just that moment, you know, continued

00:46:02.769 --> 00:46:06.670
on. Just the encouragement to continue on. Wow.

00:46:07.210 --> 00:46:11.489
Yeah. So it's been quite a journey that way.

00:46:11.670 --> 00:46:17.429
Isn't it amazing, though, to come from an orphanage

00:46:17.429 --> 00:46:22.639
with polio. On your deathbed as a baby, through

00:46:22.639 --> 00:46:27.179
a whole lifetime, a childhood of abuse, not knowing

00:46:27.179 --> 00:46:31.280
you're being abused, God taking you to where

00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:35.320
you find that there's more, that God really cares

00:46:35.320 --> 00:46:40.579
for you, and he plunges you into this championship.

00:46:41.380 --> 00:46:45.659
Now, come on. That's like a Cinderella story.

00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:48.400
You know, it really is. It's something that's

00:46:48.400 --> 00:46:51.280
beyond beyond. Like, is that really true? Could

00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:54.280
that really be true? Yes. Yes. This is a true

00:46:54.280 --> 00:46:57.739
story. And I'm thinking that there's a listener

00:46:57.739 --> 00:47:02.920
or two or more that have had tragic experiences

00:47:02.920 --> 00:47:07.460
in their lives that have caused them to feel

00:47:07.460 --> 00:47:11.360
rejected or have caused them to maybe they've

00:47:11.360 --> 00:47:14.980
gone through abuse. But I just want to ask you

00:47:14.980 --> 00:47:19.269
as a champion. And God has brought you through

00:47:19.269 --> 00:47:22.190
into a champion from the world's point of view

00:47:22.190 --> 00:47:26.250
and to bring you into this place in God where

00:47:26.250 --> 00:47:30.530
you're stepping through the veil into the unseen

00:47:30.530 --> 00:47:33.789
realm. We're talking about the supernatural.

00:47:33.849 --> 00:47:37.429
We're talking about believing God for these things

00:47:37.429 --> 00:47:39.789
that he wants to do in these last days to show

00:47:39.789 --> 00:47:42.949
himself glorious. And of course, it's not the

00:47:42.949 --> 00:47:46.610
counterfeit. It's the real thing. where he's

00:47:46.610 --> 00:47:50.730
using people to show his glory at his command,

00:47:51.030 --> 00:47:54.230
not at our own ideas. Oh, I want to really do

00:47:54.230 --> 00:47:56.489
that. No, it's God says, okay, it's time for

00:47:56.489 --> 00:47:59.750
you to do this. Would you pray for our listeners?

00:47:59.809 --> 00:48:02.550
Because I feel like you can be an encourager

00:48:02.550 --> 00:48:06.449
in the spirit to some people that need some encouragement,

00:48:06.469 --> 00:48:09.730
or maybe, listener, maybe you know somebody that

00:48:09.730 --> 00:48:12.329
needs encouragement, and you can share this with

00:48:12.329 --> 00:48:14.789
them. But there's a moment right here, right

00:48:14.789 --> 00:48:20.460
now, where you can step through into a place

00:48:20.460 --> 00:48:24.860
of overcoming. Would you pray? Yes. Father, we

00:48:24.860 --> 00:48:27.679
just come before you. And right now, Father,

00:48:27.739 --> 00:48:30.840
I just gather your listeners, those that are

00:48:30.840 --> 00:48:34.420
listening, and just crying out to you for their

00:48:34.420 --> 00:48:38.659
hope, that promise. And Lord, as you step through

00:48:38.659 --> 00:48:42.360
the veil that you tore, that we have free access

00:48:42.360 --> 00:48:46.650
to through Jesus. And Father, every heart that

00:48:46.650 --> 00:48:50.789
has been broken, every betrayal, every rejection,

00:48:51.230 --> 00:48:56.909
every loss. Father, you know every detail. Yes.

00:48:57.090 --> 00:48:59.829
And Lord, we just take it right now and bring

00:48:59.829 --> 00:49:03.289
it to the foot of the cross. And Father, we lay

00:49:03.289 --> 00:49:07.170
it down so it can die. And Father, by faith,

00:49:07.190 --> 00:49:10.849
I just take all of that, all those lost things

00:49:10.849 --> 00:49:14.289
that people thought they have lost. And Lord,

00:49:14.349 --> 00:49:17.650
laid into the grave. And Father, for the wounds

00:49:17.650 --> 00:49:21.389
that have been all the cuts and those broken

00:49:21.389 --> 00:49:24.610
places, Lord, we just apply the balm of Gilead

00:49:24.610 --> 00:49:29.730
over that. And Lord, and now just apply the power

00:49:29.730 --> 00:49:33.449
of your resurrection to each one of those wounds

00:49:33.449 --> 00:49:37.570
so that they can rise up in your strength. They

00:49:37.570 --> 00:49:39.949
can rise up into the destiny that you've called

00:49:39.949 --> 00:49:43.440
them. They can rise up to see your... your hand

00:49:43.440 --> 00:49:46.920
of salvation, your hand of glory, that as you

00:49:46.920 --> 00:49:50.280
look upon them, you draw them to you, that you

00:49:50.280 --> 00:49:53.139
reflect to them and they can reflect back to

00:49:53.139 --> 00:49:57.019
you. Father, that love is what conquers all.

00:49:57.219 --> 00:50:00.099
Father, love is what brings healing. And as you

00:50:00.099 --> 00:50:03.400
hold them in your heart, Father, and just bless

00:50:03.400 --> 00:50:06.579
the listeners, Lord, that they can take this

00:50:06.579 --> 00:50:10.039
step. All it is is just a step of faith. And

00:50:10.039 --> 00:50:13.219
Lord, I just pray, Father, That they may know

00:50:13.219 --> 00:50:15.599
you. Yes, Lord. That they may know you in the

00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:18.300
power of the resurrection. Yes, Lord. Lord, that

00:50:18.300 --> 00:50:22.219
they will have this depth understanding of your

00:50:22.219 --> 00:50:25.019
love for them. As you have loved me, Father,

00:50:25.079 --> 00:50:27.699
as you chose me from the beginning when everybody

00:50:27.699 --> 00:50:31.400
told me I was rejected. But, Father, that you

00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:34.900
brought truth. And truth will always stand because

00:50:34.900 --> 00:50:38.579
it's Jesus. Thank you, Father. Yes, Father. Amen.

00:50:38.880 --> 00:50:47.849
Amen. If you enjoyed today's podcast, please

00:50:47.849 --> 00:50:50.769
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00:51:13.119 --> 00:51:16.539
Until next time, this is Sharon Buss. And I'm

00:51:16.539 --> 00:51:19.239
Philip Buss. God bless you with His overwhelming,

00:51:19.440 --> 00:51:20.460
loving presence.