(283) “From Tragedy, Rejection, and Abuse to Become a World Champion” with Patricia Bartell (Part 1)

0:00 And it was one of the few times I've seen Jesus himself. And he was at the front door of the house. Wow. And I looked and he looked at me and he said, there is more. And he turned around and walked as if, come follow me. Oh, wow. And after that, I was like, I told my friend, there is more. He said it himself, there is more. God promises in Joel 2 .28 to pour out His Spirit on all humanity. Welcome to Global Outpouring, where we contend for that promised outpouring, we equip for that outpouring, so that we may engage in that very outpouring. I'm Philip Buss.

0:47 And I'm Sharon Buss. Welcome to the podcast today. We have with us a very, very special lady. She was with us for the School of the Supernatural Translation by Faith that we had recently with Bruce and Reshma Allen. And her name is Patricia Bartell. And she has an amazing story of how she came from being an orphan to being a success. An amazing success in so many ways. You'll just love her story. Thank you so much for joining us today. We are delighted to have you with us.

1:30 And we know that this is going to be an exciting, exciting podcast for you. But before we get started, we want to encourage you, if you haven't already done so, that you go to our website, globaloutpouring .net, and make sure that you're on our email lists and that you are... connected to us because we want to stay connected to you. And if you're hungry for God, if you have a hunger for God and you want to know him more and you want to go deeper in your relationship with him, this podcast is one that will help you. So stay tuned and go back and listen to some of the other ones and share them with your friends. This is an opportunity for you to go deeper in the things of God. So we're here today with Patricia Bartel, who joined us for the School of the Supernatural Translation by Faith. And Patricia, thank you so much for joining us today. This is really going to be fun. It's a pleasure. I'm looking forward to it, especially now that we've come to the end of the school. It's been what an amazing week, what an amazing treasure you have here.

2:41 Yes, it's been tremendous. We did a podcast with Bruce and Reshma some weeks ago, encouraging people to come. I don't know whether anybody of our listeners came, but, you know, we just want to encourage them to stay in contact with the ministry of Bruce and Reshma Allen. And that is StillwatersInternationalMissions .com. Yeah. And you have also, you have a website. Yes. So during the school, I help with the Hebrew part of it and also the activations. And that's just a beautiful role because they get to hear the word, they get grounded, they get training, and then they go through the veil. and they get to have their own encounter with the Lord. And so in that, so people can afterwards go to my website, patriciabartell .com forward slash Hebrew, because I have other things I do, but then that gives them the Hebrew cards and some of the tools I use. Yes. And so just to give a little bit of a recap about the school, and we'll put a link in the show notes for when Bruce was describing this for us, but he teaches from... The question that the Holy Spirit gave him over 20 years ago about can a man be translated by faith and how he studied and studied. And it's all through the word, the glory of God and being moved into the things of God. You know, in Daniel, it says

4:13 that. They that know their God will be strong. And the King James says, and do exploits. I don't think that's the best translation. I think take action was how I have heard it in another translation. But the idea is that in these days that we're living in, the closing days of time before Jesus comes back, before the rapture, before the millennium, and all of those things, that there's this season of time where God's people at least a remnant of God's people, are going to get so lit up with his glory and so filled with his character and his goodness and doing the things that he leads us to do like Jesus did when he walked the earth.

5:00 He said, the works that I do shall you do also and greater works. I mean, that began already in the book of Acts, right? But we're not seeing a whole lot of that. It's starting now. Yeah. But, you know, over the last hundred or two years, you know, you don't see just a whole lot of those greater works. There are some. God has always had a remnant. He's always had some that are out there ahead of the rest of the body of believers that are kind of lagging behind. And some of them not even believing that these things are possible in our day. So Bruce goes through scripture after scripture after scripture. And his wife, Reshma, teaches on discernment. And let's get this right. You've got to do things by the word.

5:48 You've got to test every spirit. Because there's counterfeits, but there's only counterfeits of the real. You know, you don't have a counterfeit $3 bill. Nobody's going to counterfeit a $3 bill. It just doesn't happen because there isn't a real $3 bill. So anyway, so your part in this has been going deeper into the Hebrew and bringing out things for us to get a deeper understanding of what the scriptures are saying. And then you helped us operate in our holy sanctified imagination. Which, as Bruce teaches so well, Jesus made it clear, especially in the Sermon on the Mount, about what you think in your mind is considered reality. Jesus said, you've heard that you're not to commit adultery, but if you're looking at a woman in the wrong way, you're committing adultery already with her in your heart. So what's going on in your imagination, God considers to be real. So I want you to just say that I...

6:51 Deeply appreciated how you led us in the activations and helping us to use our sanctified imagination to draw closer to Jesus. And just give us a little piece of that, would you? Yeah, sure. So because, you know, one of the things when I first started engaging and when Bruce said, it is your birthright to see. Because unless, you know. From the beginning of how he teaches it, I realized like, wow, this is my birthright. Unless you are born again, you cannot see the kingdom of God. That's what he said to Nicodemus in John 3. Exactly. And so when I first got that concept, I'm like, well, of course, then that means I can see. But what am I seeing? I didn't have a grid for it. Right.

7:37 What does that look like? Right. Yet the whole word gives us pictures of it. Right. And a picture is worth a thousand words. Right. And so as I began to take first, the Lord was, it was funny when I started was I started seeing in my dreams. And what I mean by that, I would be at a service in my, in a dream. I'm in this service and then I'm seeing in that dream, you know, I'm like, oh, so this is what it looks like, you know? Well, that was kind of the Lord to give it to you that way. Right. So then I could have a grid for different things that I would see. And then it got to be in my private time. Because I would worship before the Lord. And he, you know, just all of a sudden, I always thought sometimes it was just my imagination. Right. Until I realized, wait a minute, I'm not actually making this up.

8:23 Because I can't make up that kind of a story. Right. You know, I needed something like a storyline to follow to make up the story. But this was just happening. And one of the special times was. And we might go into that a little bit more. But when I was 21 and just seeking after God, he just touched my life so much and healing my broken heart. And I was in the living room of the place I was staying and a friend of mine were just worshiping the Lord. And I kept asking people, there's more of God. There's got to be more. Yes. You know, I had just finally tasted and I grew up in the Assemblies of God church. And so it was like this ritual. It was very structured.

9:05 So I didn't experience so much of God there as far as our relationship. It was just a bunch of rules. So here now, I had experienced like, this God is real. And now I'm in worship. But I started asking people. I started asking pastors, what about this? What about that? The things around the presence of God. Nobody could answer me. And it's like there's got to be more. Because they've not experienced it themselves. Exactly, yeah. Which is really scary. Yeah. Because, you know, what the congregation hears is just the experience of the pastor. So if he's never had any deep revelation or any dreams or anything like that, he has nothing to share on it. Exactly. And part of it is that people don't have a grid that there is more. Whatever we've got, whatever level we're at, there is always going to be more.

9:54 You know, God himself goes from glory to glory. So we should have an expectation of going from glory to glory. You know, just being grateful for what we have, but then there's that hunger. That hunger is what began. And so in the living room that day, after asking so many people, not getting any answers, and even my friend was like, Patricia, just be grateful for what you have. But I said, but there's got to be more. Anyway, so here this afternoon, I'm in the worship, and God's glory just comes as He was always faithful just to kind of... Put us in this little cocoon of his presence. And I turned to my left, and it was one of the few times I've seen Jesus himself.

10:36 And he was at the front door of the house. Wow. And I looked, and he looked at me, and he said, there is more. And he turned around and walked as if, come follow me. Oh, wow. And after that, I was like, I told my friend, there is more. He said it himself. There is more. And that began that, you know, being able to see. And then like Moses, you know, in the burning bush, it says he actually turned to look. So then I just made it a practice. You know, I'll be in church service. And I was like, okay, I'm going to look. I intentionally look. And that's when I began. My eyes were more and more open to see the angelic. You know, people have asked me, do you see the demonic? And I don't intentionally look into that realm, if you per se. But I just want to see God's kingdom.

11:23 Because that's how you discern the counterfeits. You know, when they're doing the money, they never show them the counterfeit until they've handled so much of the real money. Yeah, and a bank teller. Right, exactly. And then they throw a counterfeit in. So this was my training ground as I began. But a lot of it then, too, was like somebody had shared, like, if it's like going through a curtain. So I'm like, OK, so I would go home because I needed a natural, an anchor to go from the natural so I could have a grid for the supernatural. And so a curtain it wouldn't be. You know, I'd take the curtain, open it, walk through. And it was just a step of faith. Some people call it a prophetic act.

12:07 I just like this is just me stepping through. And that happened, though, the more I did that pretty soon, I stepped through and I was on the other side. And just, you know, those moments were so precious with the Lord that this is, he wants us to be with him. Absolutely. He wants us to build that, to get to know him at a deeper level. Right. Always deeper. Always deeper. There's always something deeper. There's always something higher. There's always something more. Yes. Remember Sister Gwen, our founder preached a message once. There's room at the top, you know. Yeah. Yes. There's room at the top. Exactly. Exactly. So you mentioned at a point in your life when you had a broken heart, but you went through some amazing things in your whole life. Why don't you go back and give us your background? So I was born in Bolivia, in La Paz, and I spent the first five years of my life in an orphanage.

13:08 And before I was adopted into a family in Montana where I grew up, one of 18 children. I don't recommend that because of the lifestyle that was in it. And then it would be like 13 years of abuse because the adoption was not for the correct reason as far as on the adopted mother side. And so, however, through that, I've gotten to a point, and I'll just preface this for your listeners, is that you know, on this side of all the healing of it. And you look back on your whole journey, any of us, what we've gone through, we all have a story. And the forgiveness and understanding God's hand in it all had so deeply touched me that I realized because of my past, I am who I am today. Right. And I wouldn't trade for anything where I'm at today. Right. And so when people look at my past, like, no, I would have. gone through it again to have what I have today. Absolutely. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was brutal. And so just starting on the level of, let's say, when I speak about my broken heart, I was raised up to believe that my biological mother didn't want me, my biological father didn't, my aunt didn't, and that's why I ended up in the orphanage. And then when I was introduced, now this part was true, introduced to the Bartow family, that my adopted mother, When my dad handed me over to her, and this is the first memory

14:39 I have. I'm almost five years old. We land to the airport in Spokane, Washington, and he's introducing me to my new family. And as he gets to Barbara, he hands me to her. Of course, he didn't know that I had been abused by the nuns and the women at the orphanage. So here now I finally have my daddy, and he's going to hand me to this woman, and I start crying. And she told me later, she said, that day you rejected me, so I rejected you. Oh, no. And that was the beginning of the 13 years. Wow. But what was really beautiful about it was, I say, that's my first memory. However, as I began to sit before the Lord, because how that happened, it created that spirit of rejection, the abandonment. And the more you tell yourself a story, and that story was told to me many times, it creates a belief system, a pattern of belief. And that belief then begins to shape your future and every day how you look at things. And so I carried with me that rejection, that abandonment, that the loneliness, being the black sheep of the family, all these things. But one day I was sitting with the Lord and we were talking about stories.

15:50 And, you know, the law of polarity says there's two sides to every story. And what that means is, you know, you've never seen a one -sided piece of bread. Or one -sided piece of a coin. You know, there's two sides. That's the law of polarity. So he said, if that's the story you've been told, there must be another story. And I'm thinking, no, that is the story. You know, that's how deep my belief is. Like, that's the story. You know, and sometimes we get so gripped with the story that we don't have room to know, is there another story? And somebody asked me that one time. And I remember being so offended. It's like, do you not believe me? That's my story. And they said, but what if you had another story?

16:30 Wow. And so I sat with the Lord, and I wrestled with this. I said, Lord, is there another story? And he said, yes. And he said, but you have to look for it. And so I went back in these times with him, engaged him, and we sat together, and he took me back to the beginning when I was born, actually conceived, because my biological mother was 16. And her father, my grandfather, was one of those Catholic style, very religious, you know, man of the law. And the fact that his daughter was pregnant out of wedlock. And so now is that, you know, it's like that wouldn't have been a happy home for me, you know, and with all this, the shame and stuff she would have gone through.

17:16 Sure. So I'm born. And then, of course, she couldn't keep me in that family. So she gave me to my biological dad when he's 17. So I'm looking and, you know, seeing this, this is like a movie being played in front of me. And so now he's 17. And of course, I'm too young. I don't know what to do with this little baby. And so hands him over to his sister, his older sister, who was my aunt. And so she took care of me until I was about 10 months old. And then I got really sick. and diagnosed with polio and a severe case of tonsillitis. And so now they find out the only medicine that's available is at the orphanage. And so they take me to the, she takes me, the aunt takes me to the orphanage, and they said this baby's about to die. That's how far gone I already was with the sickness. And so as a last resort to save my life, she said, let's admit her to the orphanage then. if this is the only hope, because the medicine there was for the orphans, and so the children under their care. And they said, like, well, we need her parents' signature. And this was the story I was told, that my parents were in prison. But she made up the story because they could see I was on my deathbed. And so she said that her parents are in prison, so I'm representing.

18:38 And they're like, okay, we'll take your signature. And that's why I was handed over to the orphanage. A very different story from what I was told when nobody wants you. And then what was really, really special was the Lord took me back and said, there's more to the story because to deal with the abandonment issue and that rejection. And so I went back and this was how, you know, sometimes God shows us things and then he asks us questions. And it's in the questions. So going back, he said, there's another story. because there's a redeeming story to what I was feeling of rejection. And I said, Lord, what's the redeeming story? Because I don't know. I don't have any memories beyond the airport when he's introduced me to the new family. And so I'm thinking back, and all of a sudden I remembered my adopted parents told me their side of the story of the adoption. And now the pieces are coming together because they've had this hours magazine. It's called O -U -R -S, an hours magazine. It was awaiting children.

19:43 And every child they had, there was a picture, there's their name, and then there's a description of them. For every child, except for me, there was no picture, there was no description, just my name. And they said, that one, we'll take that one. And so it would be a year long process. And then my dad got out, my adopted dad would get on the airplane, fly over to Bolivia, that long trip. And he gets to the orphanage, you know, now he's excited. He's going to meet his daughter, you know, it would be almost five years old. And he gets there, meets the people of the orphanage. They take him down the hallway and to where I'm at. And instead of seeing this vibrant, almost five year old, he sees this child about the size of a two year old. on the floor, crawling on the dirt floors. And just astonished, she's like, and he looked back at the people, the staff, and said, ¿Qué problema? Is there a problem?

20:38 Why can't she not walk? ¿Por qué? And they're like, no, no, no, no, problema. You know, she just doesn't want to walk today. Oh. He did not know that I couldn't walk. You couldn't walk. I couldn't walk. And so he walks over to me, kneels down, and he looks at my little feet. And he said to himself, this baby has never walked. And in that moment, he had every right to get up and go back because that was not what they had agreed to and all of these things. That's why there was no description. Right. Right. And so instead, in that moment, he picked me up and he says, I'm taking her home. And that's when the Lord showed me that he chose you and you were chosen. And so to know that he actually, despite not knowing my history, despite not, you know, considering all the medical treatment I would need, anything like that, he said, I'm going to give you a second chance. And that's what Jesus gives for all of us, that second chance.

21:40 So now I know what it feels like to be adopted in, to be grafted in, to be chosen. Beautiful. Beautiful. So that's how my beginning started into understanding, number one, there's always two sides to our story if you look for it. And that began the healing process as I began then my journey in the Lord. Wow. That's so beautiful. Yeah. So continue with your journey in the Lord. You've made it to Montana. You're growing up. Then what happened? Then when I was about seven years old. Now, like I said, we grew up in an Assemblies of God faith. But it was the letter of the word because, you know, we got whippings every day for whatever reasons. And it was always the scripture, you know, spoil the child. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Exactly. And that was used all the time as a reason why we got beaten so many times. But God had his hand on me. Nonetheless, because there was something really, really special he did. Because just knowing the journey I'd be walking on, when I was eight years old, I found my little brother's accordion. And it was just this black, shiny instrument. And I'd watch him play it. It was just this little Horner black accordion. And I loved the sound. And so I'd ask my parents, can I learn to play the accordion?

23:02 Because every child had to have some kind of music, whether it was voice or piano. But here he had the accordion. I was like, I like the accordion. And they're like, no, you're just trying to copy your brother. You go to the piano. Oh, my. So I'm like, okay, so I'll learn to play a piano. Did they have the block to get the pedals where your feet could reach? I sat on a phone book, you know, those big yellow pages with the phone book. That was me sitting on top of that to, you know, reach the keys. So my legs just dangled, you know, just because I was so small, I couldn't reach the pedals. So I would sit and practice the piano. And then, but every day it's like, you know, can I play the accordion? They kept saying no. Finally, eight months later, they finally like, okay. I could play the recording because they could see the progress I had made on the piano. And so I caught up to where my brother was, and I also had really nimble fingers, so I was fast. And I think my brother didn't like that so much because he's like, I just like the slow Western songs. And so later I would learn that that was my... way of escape from all the trauma I was going through. And so that, that just the Lord protected me because later I found out, you know, out of all, you know, 12 of us that were adopted, uh, they had six biological children and then adopted 12. I was the only one that didn't end up in a mental institution or in prison. That's how bad those 13 years were.

24:25 But, and I go back and say, why, you know, other than God's hand on me, but it was the music. Because I would spend hours in my room practicing. And I could be away and start honing this gift that God gave me. And so as I journeyed through, that became my voice. Because growing up, we weren't allowed to question authority. We weren't allowed to have our own opinions, thoughts. We were told what to believe. We were told what to say. We were told everything. It was like robots. But my music became my voice. Yeah. And so actually all the way up to college, they actually made a degree for me for the accordion. They just said, hey, we'll give you two years. You prove to us this is a classical instrument. Oh, look at that. Yeah. And so I was like, OK, you know, we can do this. And so, you know, I told him about a teacher in Spokane because I competed at a competition with his students. So I knew he was, you know, he was good. And he took me on through, and at that two years, I had to perform in front of the entire music faculty. And they had, you know, some of them like, oh, this is going to be interesting, you know, sitting up there with their arms folded, like this is an accordion, it's polkas, you know, what could you do? And so I had to play three pieces, and the last one was a Baroque piece. A toccatina and fugue. So the right hand is doing a melody, the left hand is doing a melody. And so you can't, you typically hear the accordion as that, you

25:56 know, rhythmic and all of that. And this was now more like the organ music, you know, think of Bach. Good for you. So I played that. So did you come up with that on your own? Well, my teacher, you know, because it's classical, you've got to play all the classical, you know, Baroque music. And so the last one to win over was my choir teacher. And he's like, he said, after that tangatina and fugue, he said, I'm like, I give up. What can she not play on that accordion? And so they granted the degree and said, okay, give you another two years. So I graduated with an accordion performance degree and a music ed degree for choral and band. Tremendous. So that was the music part of me. About seven years later, I met another teacher who was able to put a language to all the music I learned as a growing up. Because I didn't know what I was doing, really. But she's like, huh. This is called this in technique, which is now I could start doing it intentionally.

26:54 And then she just prepared me for the world championships. Because I wanted to take my own students to the highest level they could, but I never wanted to take somebody I've never been. You know, where some, you know, take them where I've never been. And so I went through that to understand the emotional pressures, you know, the physically and all of that, you know. And so God had used my music to not only keep me sane until those times where I could experience his healing power in him through my music. So let's back up now to I'm 21. I'm almost out of college. So had you done the championships yet? Not yet. Okay. All right. I don't want to cut it short, but I want to make sure we go there. So at 21, I'm just about to graduate from college. And I'm headed to Tacoma, Washington to spend the summer with a couple that would take care of me during the summer. And on the way, I just started getting just this flood of tears began. And it's like, I don't know what's going on. And at this time, my family had really cut me off, mostly Barbara, the adopted mother. And of course, the saying was, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

28:08 And so she trained us like if she wasn't happy with somebody, we just cut them off. That was just the norm. So I'm driving. And so I never got to stop by the farm to say hello. And all of a sudden, the only thing I could think of on that drive was a five -hour drive with my dad. And so it's like, wow, I wish I could, I just could see him. I don't know why everything, everything I saw reminded me of him. And I'm like sobbing in my car now, thinking what in the heck is going on, you know? I even stopped by a gas station and I'm fumbling with the whatever. And a guy came up and he said, let me help you. And he puts fuel in my gas tank. And I watch him like, that's exactly what my dad would have done. Not knowing it was about that time. He was killed in a work -related accident. Oh, no.

28:54 And I never saw him again. So you were thinking of him because it was an eternal connection. Yes, yes, because of that choice that he made. Because people often ask me, like, why do you carry on the last name Bartow? Because of all the abuse that you went through, why carry that tradition? You could change his name. And I said, no, because of that one decision my dad made. For that decision, I will always honor him. So that began this, this fall of depression because now my dad is gone, you know, and whatever what he was or wasn't, he was still my dad. Sure. You know, so. It went down to, like, I didn't know what I wanted to do. You know, my adopted mother said I had, number one, religiously flipped, you know, and that I didn't choose the right degree. I should have never gone into music.

29:47 And so all these things, I was kind of confused. Like, but music is, you know, I've got the degree now, right? So anyway, so I'm headed. I had one more semester to do. Even though I graduated, I had one semester of student teaching. And so I'm back at the campus. And I was always known as the smiling one. I was always happy because I was free on campus. I was the social butterfly. Back on the farm, I was this introvert. You just do what you're supposed to do. I didn't know how bad my upbringing was. until I'm in a class on college about, and it's called Abusing Neglect. Because when you are certified to the state of Washington, now you've got to know what it looks like and to report it to the state. Oh my. And so I'm watching them right on the whiteboard, all these things, all these signs to watch for, and thinking, dear Lord, that was my life. Wow.

30:45 And I didn't know, because as a kid, you don't know what's going on. Yeah, you've got nothing to compare to. Exactly. And I'm thinking, wow, I had a messed up childhood. Wow. So I thought, okay, that's interesting. Anyway, so now I'm in this depression state, and I don't know what to do. And I'm pretty much lost, because now no family, no connections. And I was at a worship service on campus. It was a Presbyterian -based university. And I said, God, I need help. I don't know what to do. I need help. And that week I got this postcard in the mail about this healing crusade that's happening in Boise, Idaho. And everything in my heart just leapt. I'm like, I want to go. I want to go. And so I thought, well, let me just take the first step. But I didn't even have to take the first step. I got a notification from my boss saying, hey, by the way, we're going to be closed this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, so you're free, you know, whatever you need to do, extra homework. I said, really? Because it was the same week as this healing crusade. And then I go to class and find out all my classes have been canceled, except for my choir concert. And I'm thinking, oh, my goodness. It's like God was clearing out the calendar. And then I was talking to a friend of mine. I was telling her, I was like, yeah, I'm going to go to Boise, Idaho. And she said, oh, I'm from Boise. And I said, you never told me that. And she said, yeah. In fact, I'm going to a friend's for the weekend. So she said, you

32:16 can stay at my house. We've got extra bedroom. You can stay there. In fact, my dad took a week off. From from work so he can take you to and from the crusade. It was a healing crusade So I said great and now I'm starting to shake looks I'm like this is real like God's about to do something Real and I didn't know what to think about it. But so now the last block was my choir teacher Yeah, I was president of the woman's choir and it was going to be our first concert Oh boy, and it was doing the healing crusade And so I go up really quietly to his office, knock on the door. And, you know, because I was such a timid girl, I never spoke up for myself, didn't have a voice. The music was my accordion was my voice. So I got there and I say, Mr. Pretty, that's his name, Mr. Pretty. And he said, yeah, what do you want? I just came to tell you that I'm going to be missing the choir concert. And he's like, why? I said, because. I'm going to a healing crusade. He just looked at me and he's like, and what am I going to tell the women, the women's choir, all of them, that their president is not attending the first concert of the year?

33:34 And all of a sudden, just something in me just rose up. Because remember, I don't have a voice. I can never speak up for myself. And just came up and I said, you tell them it wasn't your decision. And I'm like, class of my mouth, because I'm like, oh my gosh, I just talked back to my teacher, and now I'm being in big trouble. Because if you miss one concert, your grade is automatically dropped a letter. And at this point, I was a straight -A student. And he's like, good answer, good answer. He said, you know, I've always wanted to go to one of these healing crusades. He said, well, I'll tell you what, you go. You have my blessing to go. Was he a believer? Well, he knew about Jesus and all that. I don't know how deep his relationship was, you know. And so I'm getting ready to leave. And he says, by the way, I won't dock you a letter grade. Wow. Just tell me how it goes and I hope you get off those crutches.

34:35 Wow. I had never seen the divine hand of God in a situation. And this was that. And I get there, and 15 ,000 people. I'd never been in a crowd that big. They're all worshiping God, and I'm thinking, this is amazing. So I raise my hands, and I'm worshiping with them, just watching what they do, like I'll do the same thing. And there was a moment where the evangelist, I was thinking that the atmosphere, the air is so thick. I'd never tangibly felt that before. And as soon as I thought that, the evangelist said, the presence of God is so thick right now.

35:21 And I'm like, this is you, God? Like, you can be tangibly felt? And I was like, I didn't know that. Because I had grown up in the religious part, not a relationship part. And that was the beginning when God began to heal my heart because I got to experience him as the loving God that he is, not the picture that I was presented growing up. Because a lot of us as kids, our parents, how we see our parents can be also translated to how we see God. Exactly. And so I didn't know about love. Like the words, I love you was never mentioned in my household. You know, I had to ask for a hug. And at that, you know, it was a side hug, you know, so pretty deprived in some areas. But God, you know, as he began to show me his love and begin that healing process and that journey. Now I look at it and it's just like that. You know, he's so amazing. So when I come to the schools with Bruce and Reshma, it's just an honor to get to stand there and I'm a living testimony of his love. Absolutely.

36:30 And I get to speak about his love and get to speak about him as faith. Wow. Yeah, so it could go on and on. But that was kind of that part of the story of how I got to where I'm at today. Wow. Wow. So then what happened with the accordion? Oh, the accordion. So I met this lady, actually heard her through another, one of my students. And she had asked me to play for her wedding. And she's not a believer. This is a special story. She's not a believer, but I had wanted to always work on my technique as a musician. And so... played for her wedding, and then she asked me to play for a French concert. And that was really fun. And then we never heard anything, no communication.

37:16 And then a student calls up and says, hey, what do you know about the Taubman technique? And I'm thinking, Dorothy Taubman? How do you know about this technique? Because I had seen it, but it was like over $1 ,000 to purchase her training on piano technique. And so I was saving up money every month, just a little bit at a time, because that was a lot of money for me back then. He said, yeah, Kendall Feeney was talking about it. And I was like, Kendall? He's like, yeah. And this is the lady I was playing with for her wedding and her French concert. And so I called Kendall up. I didn't even say, how are you? I said, Kendall, you teach this technique? And she said, yeah, I teach it. And I'm like, I want to start lessons ASAP. Wow.

38:02 And so I was, what, probably 31? In 2007. I don't even know how old I was, but 2007. And so I began training with her and she put a language to what I was doing in music because nobody could understand or tell me because they're like, no, no, no, you just play that. But they couldn't explain it to me. Even my university teacher, she would play some diddle on the piano and came alive. And I said, how did you do that? She said. I just did this. And like, I know, but what's that called? Because I could hear something behind it. And she said, I don't know how to explain that. You know, I just played it. I was like, okay. And I was continuing on in the music and people would say, like, you just do something with music. But it's obvious you don't know what you're doing. It just comes out of you. I'm like, I wish somebody could tell me what I'm doing.

38:53 And that was when Kendall stepped in. And she said, this is a technique called this. Now let me help you use it intentionally and do it even more in what you were doing. And that just took me a whole nother level. And so I had known about the world championships and I said, I want to compete there. And so she said, okay. She said, I've never played the accordion. I said, but you're a musician. It's music to music, regardless of your instrument. And so she's like, game on, I'll do it. And so she helped me with the artistry. And then I flew to France and studied with Frederic Deschamps, who he's known for producing world champions. And so I studied with a month with him. We were practicing up to 16 hours a day.

39:36 And then one week before we're leaving for Italy to compete, he's timing my program because you have to be within minutes. And contrasting styles of pieces, technical, lyrical, all these things. And he said, oops, we're short three minutes. Uh -oh. And I'm like, Fred, what are we going to do? He said, you've got to learn another piece. I said, in one week? He said, I mean, because at a championship level, those pieces are not simple. Right. He said, we've got one week. I said, okay, what am I playing? And he pulled out a piece of music, and he said this one. It's four pages long. I think we can learn it quick enough. I said, okay. So back to the practice room. Now I'm nervous. I should say. So seven -day countdown. Day four. I'm in the lessons, and the Russian competitor, we're going to be competing against each other. The Italian competitor, the German competitor, we're all in the same house, in the same place, studying with the same teacher. We know we're all competing against each other. So the Russian candidate comes and sits and listens to my lesson on this piece.

40:45 And he's like, Fred. And he said, what? He's like, are you sure? That's how bad it must have sounded. Fred's like, you know what? Patricia likes a challenge. And I like a challenge. Yeah, so this is going to be all right. Wow. I'm thinking, okay, that's day four. Day five. Day six, I'm finally getting it memorized. Not full speed. Of course, now day seven, we're traveling. And so getting it together. And there's two rounds. So they eliminate a lot of people in the first round. And so I made it into the second round. Now it's against the Russian that was there, the Italian, the German, myself. So we're heading in one at a time. I walk in, and it's a panel of judges, seven men. standing there, black suits.

41:36 And I thought, this is a friendly crowd. So I sit down. They carry, I have a 24 -pound concert accordion. I sit there. I'm like, I am not playing for them. I'm going to play for the crowd. That's how I grew up playing, you know, play for them. And so I sit there, and the final round, and of course, this new piece, made it through. Goodness, that was a moment. And came in third place. It was Russia. Italy, and U .S. But what it did was not only got my championship title, was that it opened the doors internationally for me for the music world at the highest level because all the different countries were standing there because once U .S. was announced that it was going to be present. A lot of the other countries came together to see because U .S. had not been represented in decades. I'm sure. And then it was a female. Right. Because accordion is such a physical instrument. It's more male predominant.

42:42 But you have such upper body strength because of the crutches and all getting around. Yeah. Just getting in and out of things. I watched you the first time getting into the car. At the airport. At the airport. And it's like, okay, she's got this. She knows exactly what she's doing. She's been doing this a long time. Yes. Yeah, I got this drink. And so because it opened those doors. And I wasn't tied to the political arena in the U .S. because in everything there's the politics. And so they're like, did you not represent your country through the legal channels? I'm like, I didn't even know. I needed to go through one of the associations in the U .S.

43:23 And I'm so glad I didn't because then they would own me. I did this because I wanted to. prepare the way for my students wow you know and so i didn't know that i didn't know you know to go to a teacher by myself and to do that and so and the fact that i played international music it wasn't just like the stuff from u .s they said we've never had a u .s candidate you know even back then play any of our music wow and but i'm like well thankfully i had an international teacher frederick who gave me some of that repertoire and i'm like i liked it let's do it And it opened up so many doors. And then I was invited to be one of the juries for the World Championships.

44:06 Wow. So it's my claim to fame because they called us by our country. You know, Mr. Germany, Mr. Italy, Mr. Portugal, Miss USA. Wow. That's right. My fun moment there. So it was just a way that God opened the door to speak to those people and be more of a light to them because it's more of a worldly setting. One of our worship leaders, Clarence, he studied at ORU and they had a European teacher. And he was very strict. And he says, no, I want to teach you something different. I want to teach you. where you will always have one finger on a key at all times so you will know where you're at. And that has been such a blessing because he can just... Talk and worship while he's playing, you know, and I thought.

44:55 And keep his eyes closed. And keep his eyes closed. Yeah. You know, and that was because of this European teacher that, you know, is not always very nice. Yes, I was. You know, I nearly quit my degree three times because the teacher I had for the accordion was Estonian. Estonian. And so it was like every week I left lessons in tears. And so about that two -year mark, I was like, I can't do this anymore. And I was playing for a function in Portland. And this little lady came up to me. And I'd known her for many years. And she put her arm around me and said, Patricia, how's accordion going? And I looked at her and I said, because it's like I couldn't lie. But I didn't know anything positive to say. I said, I don't like it anymore. And she knew the teacher.

45:46 And she said, you know what? Remember all the fun you had with it. And she said, you can do anything for two more years. Two more years. And I thought, true, you know. Okay. And so because of her, just that moment, you know, continued on. Just the encouragement to continue on. Wow. Yeah. So it's been quite a journey that way. Isn't it amazing, though, to come from an orphanage with polio. On your deathbed as a baby, through a whole lifetime, a childhood of abuse, not knowing you're being abused, God taking you to where you find that there's more, that God really cares for you, and he plunges you into this championship.

46:41 Now, come on. That's like a Cinderella story. You know, it really is. It's something that's beyond beyond. Like, is that really true? Could that really be true? Yes. Yes. This is a true story. And I'm thinking that there's a listener or two or more that have had tragic experiences in their lives that have caused them to feel rejected or have caused them to maybe they've gone through abuse. But I just want to ask you as a champion. And God has brought you through into a champion from the world's point of view and to bring you into this place in God where you're stepping through the veil into the unseen realm. We're talking about the supernatural.

47:33 We're talking about believing God for these things that he wants to do in these last days to show himself glorious. And of course, it's not the counterfeit. It's the real thing. where he's using people to show his glory at his command, not at our own ideas. Oh, I want to really do that. No, it's God says, okay, it's time for you to do this. Would you pray for our listeners? Because I feel like you can be an encourager in the spirit to some people that need some encouragement, or maybe, listener, maybe you know somebody that needs encouragement, and you can share this with them. But there's a moment right here, right now, where you can step through into a place of overcoming. Would you pray? Yes. Father, we just come before you. And right now, Father, I just gather your listeners, those that are listening, and just crying out to you for their hope, that promise. And Lord, as you step through the veil that you tore, that we have free access to through Jesus. And Father, every heart that has been broken, every betrayal, every rejection, every loss. Father, you know every detail. Yes.

48:57 And Lord, we just take it right now and bring it to the foot of the cross. And Father, we lay it down so it can die. And Father, by faith, I just take all of that, all those lost things that people thought they have lost. And Lord, laid into the grave. And Father, for the wounds that have been all the cuts and those broken places, Lord, we just apply the balm of Gilead over that. And Lord, and now just apply the power of your resurrection to each one of those wounds so that they can rise up in your strength. They can rise up into the destiny that you've called them. They can rise up to see your... your hand of salvation, your hand of glory, that as you look upon them, you draw them to you, that you reflect to them and they can reflect back to you. Father, that love is what conquers all.

49:57 Father, love is what brings healing. And as you hold them in your heart, Father, and just bless the listeners, Lord, that they can take this step. All it is is just a step of faith. And Lord, I just pray, Father, That they may know you. Yes, Lord. That they may know you in the power of the resurrection. Yes, Lord. Lord, that they will have this depth understanding of your love for them. As you have loved me, Father, as you chose me from the beginning when everybody told me I was rejected. But, Father, that you brought truth. And truth will always stand because it's Jesus. Thank you, Father. Yes, Father. Amen.

50:38 Amen. If you enjoyed today's podcast, please subscribe, rate and review this podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. Your review helps the podcasting platform suggest this podcast to other listeners who are also looking for a great move of the Holy Spirit. Check out our website at globaloutpouring .org to find out more information, read our blogs, connect with us and donate. You can also browse our web store for life -changing anointed books. Until next time, this is Sharon Buss. And I'm Philip Buss. God bless you with His overwhelming, loving presence.