(286) “Holding onto Hope” with Patricia Bartell (Part 2)

0:00 Because I know I've got my tikvah, my hope, the promise that he said, you know, I will be healed. I will have new legs, you know. And so that's the concept of saying and surrendering. And it's easier to surrender when you have your tikvah, when you have the promises. And ultimately, he is our hope. God promises in Joel 2 .28 to pour out His Spirit on all humanity. Welcome to Global Outpouring, where we contend for that promised outpouring, we equip for that outpouring, so that we may engage in that very outpouring. I'm Philip Buss. And I'm Sharon Buss. Welcome to the podcast today. We have part two with Patricia Bartell today, and she's going to tell us more about the amazing successes that she's had and how hope, hanging on to hope, is going to pay off for you. Thank you so much for joining us today. We're just delighted that you're with us. And before we get started, we want to encourage you, if you haven't already done so, to go to our website and engage with us on our emails.

1:22 There's a place that you can click on there to get on our email lists so that you can hear from us and we can stay in touch with you. And there's a place for you to leave feedback, too. There's a feedback form or you can email us at feedback at globaloutpouring .org. And that really helps us to know what's going on. going on in your heart. And if there's something that you want to hear from us about, if there's some prayer requests that you have, or if you have a subject that you would like us to cover, we'll pray into it and see what the Holy Spirit gives us, because we want to help equip you for what's coming in this outpouring, because God is pouring out His Spirit in a very powerful way, and it's only going to increase. We need to be ready. Well, Patricia Bartell, thank you so much for joining us a second time. We're excited to do another episode with you because there's so much more to your life than what we could cover in the last episode. And we just we want to know more about like what happened that got you into a music academy. Like you wanted to do these accordion world championships in order to be able to help your students. What was your dream, and how did you get that dream, and how did God make that happen? Very, very good question. So it's interesting because the Music Academy, it's Bartow Music Academy now, over 200 students, didn't actually

2:52 initiate from me. So I taught students as a way to help me through college. And so it was really interesting because coming out of a one of 18 in my family, there was no extra money for college. But it was amazing as I began to see the pattern that every time I needed money, quarters to go do laundry, the phone would ring and say, hey, would you play for this wedding? Or would you play for this birthday party? And then the months I didn't need money, the phone never rang. Wow. So it was just a vehicle that God used. He was my provider. And it was just so cool to see that. So then I graduated from college and I began teaching. And I thought I was going to be in the schools, the public schools, you know. And it turned out I was only in it for a couple of years. because I was traveling so much from different countries, number one on traveling as the USA judge for the World Championships, but I also was starting on different ministry trips. So now I enter because of all the healing that God begins. in my life it's like now i'm like opening up more and more i have a you know i'm starting to figure out like cool i have a voice and i can start sharing the things god's doing in my life so i'm traveling to the philippines traveled with bruce going to fiji that was my first mission trip oh wow and i went to mexico and then and it was prophesied get this um i was in a conference and this lady with red hair forget her name And

4:24 she said, don't not expect a prophetic word from me, you know, and she made this very clear at the beginning. And so she's just this fireball. And she comes off the stage and keeps preaching, and she's standing right next to me. I was sitting on the edge of the aisle there. And all of a sudden, she turned around, slammed her hand on my head, totally startled me. I was expecting it. And she said, cried out, nations, you're going to travel to Mexico. You're going to travel to this and that and all these things. And I just was so shocked. And she said within three minutes, Wow. And so sure enough, within three months, I was in Mexico. And then I was in Fiji.

5:07 And then I was in the Philippines and Uganda. So I began all these travels to these countries. And in between there, I would have my students. And so if I was going to be gone a week, I'd say, hey, you get an extra week to practice. And then a couple of my students wanted to be teachers. So, okay. They're like, can you teach us how to teach? I'm like, because when I'm gone, they can teach for me, you know? Perfect. Well, then in 2012, we hosted the World Championships for accordion in Spokane. Wow. And so they all will come in. It's the first time U .S. had ever hosted it. And so now we've got 40 countries represented. And so we had the airport runs, the judges coming in, the candidates, because there was one representative from each country.

5:55 So we had the Chinese candidate. We also have the Chinese judge. Even Chinese, the accordion in China? It's huge in Chinese. Is it? Wow. About 15 years ago, China had over 10 ,000 accordion orchestras. What? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, it was huge. I was over there judging several years ago. And for three days, I judged 11 -year -olds for three days. Oh, my. 10 to 11 -year -olds. And they were good. Wow. And I'm thinking, I never knew there were so many 10 to 11 -year -olds playing the accordion over here. Wow. So, yeah, so I was traveling and then ended up just strictly just my little studio, you know. Then after this champion, after the world champion Spokane, one of the judges came up to me. He's like, hey, I'd like to move to Spokane and teach with you. And I'm like, oh, you know, so kind.

6:47 And that's OK. No, no, it's just I just have a few students, you know. And he said, no, no, I'm serious. The month later, he emails me and says, hey, I'm serious about coming to the U .S. You know, you wouldn't have to do anything. I mean, I'll have my lawyer do all the paperwork. I just want to come teach for you, you know, with you. And I'm thinking, and I didn't know how to say no. You know, I had still that part of me, you know, I'm like, well, and it's like, you know, and it's just kind of pushed it off. Within a third time, he says. Let's Skype together. Back then it was Skype, not Zoom. Imagining how old I am now, I was like, oh yeah, Skype. That was back in the olden days. Anyway, so I get on the call. Of course, now we're face -to -face.

7:30 And he said, tell you what, there's no money you need to put out. You just need to sign the paperwork. And I said, are you really serious about this? And he said, yes, I want to come teach. So I'm thinking, okay. I'm thinking, you know, two master teachers? you know, we could really build this, you know, I built it for mine. So I'm trying back and forth. I'm like, okay, as long as I, you know, don't have to fund, you know, any money, then I'll sign the paperwork. So I signed the paperwork. So he comes and flies to the US and I told him, be sure you have at least three months of finances because it'll probably take that long to build students up, right? So he comes, flies in and brings his wife.

8:14 Comes to the studio two days later, and he says, okay, where's all my students? Uh -oh. I say, well, we've got to build them, but I wasn't planning for you to come for another week. I could let you get settled in. He said, oh, no, they're already bringing the furniture. We stopped at this place, picked this up. The highest, I mean, expensive furniture, and he chose the most expensive part of Spokane. So I'm thinking, hang on, wait a minute, how much do you think you're going to make out of all this? So I was a little bit taken back. I'm thinking, okay, did you bring like three months of finances with you? He said, well, kind of, but let's just get started because I need to start making money because I got to pay off this furniture. Oh, my goodness. So I'm thinking, oh, my goodness. So I thought, well, okay, we'll just hand it over my students to him. So at least he's teaching and I can be out drumming up business. Now, here's the problem.

9:08 Uh -oh. I was a musician. I'm a music teacher. I hung up flyers. I, you know, mailed postcards out thinking this would be easy, you know, easy enough to bring students. Not a single student. And then every now and then I'd get a phone call. And I'm thinking, this is it. I'd answer it. And my little studio was called Able to Play because, you know, we're able to help people play. And they'd be like, hey, is this Able to Play? And I said, yeah. And so he said, well, I'm from the school and football. We're just looking for a sponsor. I'm thinking, yeah, I saw your listing there. And he said, by the way, what are you, I mean, is it for soccer? What is it, able to play what? And I thought, wow, marketing mistake 101. People didn't even know what I was. So we changed it, able to play music.

9:59 Well, and in studio. So then it was this crazy thing. So what happened was there was so much money going out and not enough coming in. Because I was paying, because I put him on salary because there was not enough students, you know, to figure we could build this up really quickly. Well, me and mathematics didn't quite work out. Oh, no. And I knew there was more. Now, mathematics was not my forte, but I did know when one group of numbers is bigger than another group of numbers. Clearly, the money that was going out was different than the money that was coming in. In fact, I was like, we're not even clearing. We're not even clearing. So I'm thinking, you know, the little savings I had was diminishing. And thinking, I was walking down the hallway and thinking, God, I've got to close this, you know, because I don't know what else to do. And so this teacher, this international teacher, well, he had to go back because his wife won the green card, the lottery, the green card lottery in our country.

10:57 So they fly back. And so meanwhile, I get to teach my students. And I'm finding some holes in their pedagogy education. I'm thinking, oh, interesting. Not big holes, but enough that the passion was dwindling. And the whole thing for me is about music, the love for music, the love to play. It was never a forced thing. So he comes back. you know, big presence kind of guy, nice guy. Anyway, so we're talking and he said, okay, tell me about the students. And I said, hey, this is what, you know, I'm looking at. And I said, hey, do you mind if we, you know, coach you a little bit? You know, there's some things I'm looking for, you know, obviously the passion. He's listening. He heard it all. And he said, well, Patricia, I just wanted to say thank you for everything, but I'm going to move my wife and I are headed to Florida. And she's pregnant.

11:44 She was pregnant when they came. Oh. But never said anything. I'm like, oh, so now I'm in the hole. Now he's leaving. And so I've got to pick up all these pieces. And so I'm thinking, and still now the debt was so much. And I'm trying to put things together. Didn't even have $100 in my name. Oh, my. So I'm looking, scrolling through Facebook. That's one of the times I was so grateful I saw an ad. And it said, world -class marketing. And I thought, that's what it is. I need marketing because I don't know anything, obviously, about how to market because I can't even attract a student for this guy. And so I fill it out and I'm reading like it was as if it was written just for me. It's like, how did they know this about me? Wow. And so I flip it over, fill out the form, and then it gets to the payment. Uh -oh. $10 ,000. Oh, no. Not that.

12:38 Oh. Oh, well. It's like, is that an error there? So I'm thinking, OK, so I closed it up and went to sleep that night. And I thought, so God, how do I do this? I don't know which way to turn, you know. And by the way, this was your idea because I wanted to quit teaching. But every time I would, he'd bring it back. So and so now I'm throwing it back to God. I'm like, hey, remember, this was your idea. It wasn't ever my dream. because I loved performing and now the ministry is going. And so I'm teaching on the side in a sense. It is my income, but it's still on the side. And so I remembered I got this manila envelope in the mail two weeks prior and I had thought it was my sheet music. And for a thing I was going to play. And so I'm like, ah. So you didn't open it for a while. I didn't open it. We know how that is. Yeah. So now let me back up just a little bit. Because the key to this story is that there was a lady. Her name is Elizabeth Welty. And I met her. She was 92 years old at the time when I first met her. And we would go to lunch every three months. And she'd get an update on what I was doing. She was not a believer.

13:49 She was a doctor. And she would tell me, my science mind just cannot grasp what you're learning. You know, I was learning about the mountain of God. I had told her everything, especially since she wasn't a believer. But she's like, if anybody else told me these supernatural things that you're telling me, I wouldn't believe them. But because it's you, I'm intrigued. But my science part of my mind is like. And so anyway, so she sponsored a couple of my students. We just had this beautiful friendship. And she's now 100 years old. And we're still going to lunches. But this time she's blind, mostly deaf. And now I'm in the middle of this crisis. Like, don't know which way my little studio's going. And I didn't have the heart to tell her. So we talked about other things.

14:33 And then all of a sudden, before she left, she put her hand on my arm. And she said, Patricia, everything's going to be all right. And I thought, if you only knew. If you only knew what I was going through. At the same time, I was growing in the things of the Lord, my understanding. And yet, over on this side, everything looks like it's falling to pieces. Anyway, I got to see her like just four days before she passed away. And anyway, just that special connection there. And so now, here I am. I got this rehearsal to go to. And this manila envelope. Flip it over. I was like, grab my music. Obviously, I didn't practice for the rehearsal. Grab my music. This envelope. Rip it open. And it's not my music.

15:20 Oh. It's from a lawyer's office. And I'm thinking, you know how the mind defaults to the negative? Sure. It's like, oh my goodness, did I forget to pay a bill? Is somebody suing me? I've never seen legal writing like that. And I was reading so fast, I had to read it a few times and slow down. Like, what is this? And then all of a sudden, I flipped the pages a couple, and there was a little handwritten note. And it said, it's not much, but it will help. Signed, Dr. Elizabeth Welty. She had left me in her will. Wow. And it was just enough to attend a Tony Robbins business mastery that I had seen on Facebook. Oh, wow.

16:02 And I knew as soon as I saw that what it was to be used for. Wow. I called that organization up. I said, I want to register. And they're like. Are you sure? Usually people go to this other conference of his before this. I said, no, it's this one. I have to do this one. So I get there and what I learned, because they said if, you know, every day you'll learn about a million dollars worth of information that you can implement. And if you don't feel like you've got a million dollars worth of stuff that you can use, you can be completely refunded after day one. So I'm like, okay. So I headed there and I just had implemented just a few things when I got home. And it turned my business from being in the hole to a six -figure business. Wow. Because I went from being a music teacher to a business owner. Okay. Because as Tony Robbins, he lays it out, business, you've got to know all the pieces and the rules. Once you know that, then it's all strategy. And I loved strategy because of how my mind worked and stuff. And then as I began to grow in the world of business, then I understood the marketing. I also understood about manipulation and realized how much we are manipulated. Exactly. And just like, okay, it's like, wow, you can take one thing to manipulate people. And I thought, wow, this is how people are deceived. Right. And so, which also gave

17:34 me actually more forethought in what I'm hearing because then I wasn't, because I never, I was always afraid of being deceived. You know, like what if, you know, I don't know, whatever. And realizing, well, actually the Holy Spirit is the one that gives us that witness. Right. You know, just like, okay. And I did take a lot of body language. how to sign NDAs because once they teach you certain body languages that people just don't know they don't or they cannot control then you can understand if they're being honest with you on all these things just because as a business woman I was like okay I need to make sure I'm you know understand these things But as the Holy Spirit began to step in more and more, I realized you're the one that actually brings that discernment. You know that inside you get that red flag of that. So I began then needing more and more discernment because now as I'm walking into the business world, into entrepreneurship, there's a lot of marketers that want to sell you in their stuff. And I thought, okay, now that I'm understanding as a whole nother world. But I loved it. It was as if it was another home. You know, I had my music home, but now here's the business. And I knew that God didn't teach me all those tools for me, that I've been able to help many other businesses grow and flourish.

18:54 And so then that birthed the online school. So I've got an online school for accordion, kind of more of a passive income. And now it's not Able to Play Music, but it's Bartel Music Academy. So now people know exactly what I do, what I teach. So getting to serve those families, the online community. And then as I'm coming into the Hebrew teachings, I'm teaching biblical Hebrew. And then I have my personal brand, which is I help business owners grow through speaking. And speaking not only for, let's say, the podcast like this, but also on camera. So I studied a lot with video. So that's the part that connects me more to business owners. So bringing all that full circle to all the things that God's brought me into, not for me per se, but is to see, number one, that he will bless the works of your hand.

19:47 And then through Sister Gwen, the 12 tribes of Israel, I found out I was from the tribe of Joseph. who held all the finances. Well, there you go. And it made sense when I learned that, how the money and understanding finances worked. I'm thinking, now I know where I get this part of me. And in the business world. So it's been just such an amazing journey to see how God brought that, that is so parallel also to my music world. So they kind of blend within each other. Wow. That is absolutely amazing. So how did God connect you to Bruce Allen? Oh, yes. So I tried to go to Bible school three times. After I had my encounter with God when I was 21, when I went to the Healing Crusade. Then I finally, this was the third Bible school I got to finally get into, at least for a few months. It was Heart for the Nation, so Chip and Jerry Foster. And they had told me, they said, hey, there's going to be a special speaker tonight. I'm going to speak on the Holy Spirit. But just know that if he speaks a word over you, he's a prophet. So just know that his words are dead accurate. I'm thinking, okay, this will be interesting. And so I'm still new to the things of the law. I mean, I understand prophetic words and all these things. So Bruce comes in. And you have to understand, I only knew of ministry to be very reverent. very serious.

21:25 Ties, you know, suits and ties, all that kind of stuff, right? Here comes, walks in Bruce with his jeans and cowboy boots. And I'm thinking, okay, that's not quite what I imagined. But his words carried so much weight when he spoke. And I thought, this is so cool. And then he had me stand up. And I don't actually remember the word, but I just remember the weightiness of it. And then Jerry, the head of the school, later that evening turned to me and he said, I just want you to tell you what Bruce told me about you. And I said, yeah. He said, well, it was more for me than it was for you. But he said, watch over her. She's got a calling on her life, but she needs to be surrounded. Just keep an eye on her. And he's like. Yes, sir, because he was, you know, being in the military. And so that was the beginning of how I met Bruce. And then we were at a ministry conference and he was speaking.

22:22 And by now I kind of started to get to know different ministries as I was, you know, at church, church, looking for God. And so here he is again. And I thought it was funny because I'm thinking, how do these ministries connect to each other? Like they go to dinner. What did they talk about? You know, because it's like, how does this all happen? So I went up to Bruce. I said, Bruce, would it be all right if I go to dinner with you guys? I mean, I don't want to ask anything. I just kind of want to be like a fly on the wall. And he laughed. He's like, sure, come on, you know. And so that was the door opening. And then later I met him and his friend John. And so he said, hey, come to coffee with us. I was like, sure. You know, so getting to go to coffee. And so here's Bruce on my right side and here's John on the left. And they're just carrying on. back and forth joking and thinking, boy, talk about shattering my perspective of what religion is, you know, or ministry is. Kind of like Bill Johnson, you know, before he, is that Bill Johnson? Reading, gets up to speak and tells a joke. Every time.

23:32 Every time. Bruce is very down to earth for people who don't know him. He's very down to earth and he's very funny. Yeah, he's got a great sense of humor. So that's all I'm hearing is all these things. However, they would, you know, slip in different things of the amazing things of God. You know, so I'm like combining it and I'm so drawn in. I'm excited and thinking, wait a minute, I wonder if they would know the answer to the question I have. Because I've had all these questions, but nobody can answer me, right? So, and I would ask different pastors and like, you know, I think I said earlier that they would tell me you've experienced more of God than we have as pastors. So come share in our church. Thinking, no, that's not what I was looking for. I just wanted to know more about the anointing, about the power of God and his presence. So I'm sitting there with Bruce and John. And I was like, okay. I said, Bruce, and I'm sure he gets this a hundred times over and over, can I ask you a question?

24:29 And he's like, sure. And I said, so I'm leaning in. I'm thinking, cool, they're going to answer my question. And I said, What's the secret to the anointing? And he looks at John. He said, do you think she's ready? And John's like, well, I don't know. And now I'm leaning in. Right, right. Like, am I ready? And so, you know, we've got a cup of coffee in front of all of us. And they lean in. It's like, okay. Yeah, I think she's ready. So we lean in. I'm thinking, here it is. Here it is. And he said, it's in the mocha. And he points to his mug. Sounds like Mama Jenkins.

25:12 I was like, seriously? It's in the mocha. It's in the mocha, you know. And I thought, oh my goodness. And then I'm like, I cannot wait to see you preach. Because it's like this and my idea of what ministry. And so that night he spoke and the holiness of God hit. I mean, you could have heard a pen drop. It had nothing to do with mocha. No, not at all. But there was this friendship that developed, and he just took me under his wing as a big brother. And he would tell me, he said, the difference between you and I is I've been outdoing. He said, now it's your turn to go out and do. And so he would, I would take notes. I would go to wherever he was preaching and I would just take notes. And so, so many of the things he said back then, he's still saying them today because truth can be repeated. It never gets old. And I hear it differently now that I'm, you know, maturing in the things of the Lord. And so he's been that big brother to me. And even more so in these last, has it been what, three years now? Because... Bruce, in the ministry part, he would push me out of the nest.

26:27 Like, okay, here's the microphone. You've got a word. I said, I do? Right. But he began to teach me how to pray for people and those things out in the ministry world. So that's why I've just said he's been my big brother, taking me through that and just allowing me to see the behind the scenes and never to be afraid to ask a question because that's how you learn. And I got to meet him then, actually before he met Rashma. Oh, really? And that was really sweet. Oh, that's fun. Because when we were there on the mission trip, he pulled me aside. He said, I know I didn't tell you about her, but this is who she is. And I'm thinking, this is so cool, you know, just to see that and be at their wedding and just watch their journey together. Yeah, that was the part of how I first met Bruce. Okay.

27:16 Okay. So in the meantime. Bruce has gotten you traveling with him and Reshma to do some of these schools around the world. And he invited you to go with him to Australia. Then what happened? Yes, then what happened? So about seven or eight years ago, I had a dream that in this dream was a kangaroo. And the ground had... like that reddish dirt in it. And behind the kangaroo in this open meadow was this fence, this wooden fence that had two rungs on it. And then beyond that was like this mountain, these trees kind of thing, you know. And in the dream, I just remember how cool it was to be so close to a kangaroo, you know. And that was it. That was pretty much, it was another kangaroo that was eating or just kind of kneeling down. And so I never knew what that dream meant. And, you know, just kind of like, hmm, okay. And that was it to that. So Bruce had invited me to be on the school, on the school. So now here's where we were in San, what was that? San Jose in May. And then we went to Des Moines, Iowa in June. And now here it is July. And he said, Patricia, we're headed to Australia. Do you want to go? I said, sure, I can go. And all of a sudden I remember that dream because I had never connected kangaroos with Australia. Okay. So thinking. there's got to be a connection you know so let me back up so why there was things become alive that week

28:49 was two years prior to that, I had met this group of entrepreneurs in business from all over the world. And we're advisors to each other. So you have to have at least a six -figure business and above to even be in this group. And we would partner up with each other to ask five questions about the business, what are you doing, what are the ups and downs, and be advisories. I got connected with a South African guy. And the connection went beyond business, but not into anything. So for two years, he would call me his sweetheart. And I'm thinking, okay, this must be it. You know, because I'd not been in a romantic relationship.

29:29 I was in one when I was, I think, 23, maybe, with a guy for three months. It was more of a, let's do this. Okay, let's not, because his mother stepped in, like, no, no, this is not going to work. So here I am. And so getting to know this guy and thinking, okay, this is really cool, South Africa. But then it got to be a journey that was not a good journey. Let's put it that way. And so finally. Two years later, Bruce and Rashma walked through this with me because for me to realize a guy had been leading me on and I'm thinking, you know, this is going to be something. But even though he said, we're not friends, but we're more than friends, but we're not in a relationship and refused to go there. And of course, Bruce never would tell me what to do. And, you know, even the words of wisdom, he would always tell me, he said, you know God's voice. He would always encourage me. He said, you know, I will stand with you. No matter what, I will stand with you.

30:28 Beautiful. And that was him as a big brother to me. That's great wisdom. And so now, there was November. Not last year, but the year before. November. And Bruce and Reshma are doing a school in Spokane. And I have my filming equipment because I have my own filming studios. I brought my gear down to go to film the school. And so Michael Van Ryman is with them. And so I get to hang out with Michael a bit. And Bruce says, hey, come up to the house with us and Michael. And so I go up there. And Bruce says, Michael, tell her what the Lord told you. And Michael's like, Bruce, you know I don't speak about these things. I can see him saying that. And he said, Michael, she needs it. She needs it. And because Michael didn't know what I was going through. It's just a heartache after another because I couldn't break off from this guy because there was too many things tied because with our businesses helping each other out. And I just didn't know how to let it go because this guy went from having four businesses, South African guy, four business, studying to be a pilot to get his pilot license, to down to his one business, barely surviving.

31:36 And so I was the rescuer. And so now I'm tangled and I'm trying to untangle because it's like this would be the worst time to just cut it off, you know, when you need somebody and not realizing that it wasn't my place, you know, but I just, I didn't know how to untangle. About your responsibility. Right, I felt so responsible. I'm thinking, does he have a friend? You know, I don't know, you know. Anyway, so I'm here and Bruce is telling Michael, tell her. And so Michael's like, okay. He said, so. I've been watching you and you're helping and all this. And he said, I began to pray to the Lord. I said, Lord, can you just bring her a husband? Bring her someone. And he said, the Lord interrupted him. And he said, I have somebody for her who's absolutely perfect.

32:26 And he will be quick to take her off the market. And I'm thinking, this guy, South African guy, that's been two years, that must not be him. So that was November. So now February, this guy decides that we're done. There's too much pressure. Because I'm like, come on, guy, we're either going to do this or we're not. And he's like, too much pressure. Let's just agree to be friends. And I'm like, we can't be friends. It's too much. So then I find out a week later, he fully committed to another person. And my heart was broken. I'm sure. Because I felt betrayed. Shattered. Yeah, totally. So now that was February. So I am month after month. And I remember the boards of Bruce.

33:11 He told me, he said, remember, you choose how long you walk through that season. Oh, say that again. That's such words of wisdom. You choose. Choose how long you walk through that season. You choose how long that season is. That grief. Yes. Right? That's a grief. That's a serious grief. Very much so. And so I'm now knowing, having walked through different griefs, thinking, okay, Lord, I know as painful as this is right now, I'm choosing to look at what is the gift in this? What am I learning? This is good. Because I can leverage pain that will catapult me to the next level. There you go. And that's what I did before again and again. Because many times the rug has been pulled out. And I'd learn faster and faster. But this was a big one. Because this was the most tender part of my heart. And so as the Lord began to uncover why it was so painful, number one was that I hadn't really learned to love Patricia. And so I was looking to a man to fulfill that deepest need of wanting to be loved. And so it took someone in that area. For me to finally say, because I'd gone through so much inner healing, you know, I'm out speaking now, all these things. But I didn't know there was still a little thread under there that the Lord needed to pull out. Right. And he wants you completely whole. Completely. So he used the situation because I was asking him like, okay, I know. It's like, I know the process now.

34:43 What's the gift in this? What do I need to learn? What do I need to deal with? What do I need to bring to you, Lord? So this season has cut short. And so every day, you know, when you're grieving, it's like those waves of that pain that come and you can feel it coming. And because I really didn't have anybody around me that understood what I was walking through other than Bruce and Rashma. So I would just go to the bathroom and close the door and I would literally hang on to the sink because I understood emotions last 90 seconds. Yeah. You said that in class and I hung on to that. I thought. I've got to learn that and make it work for me. Yeah. Because scientifically they said the emotion, the cycle of an emotion is 90 seconds. And so I'm thinking, okay, I can hang on for 90 seconds while there's pain. And also to let the pain, it's like you breathe it in and breathe it through because otherwise it gets lodged in, you know? And so I would sit there and, but the biggest lesson I learned was to surrender. Not my will, but his will be done.

35:46 Yes. Because I had helped try to manufacture this relationship. Oh. Because when I was 21 years old, I had three prophetic words that said, you will be married. In fact, one of them, the guy said, do you believe it? And I said, yeah. He says, no, do you believe it? And then I was slain in the spirit. And then he's down there. Do you believe it? I'm like, I believe it. I'll be married. And that was when I was 21. You know, 22, 23, nothing happens. 33, 34, nothing happens. 44, now I'm 45, and this guy enters my life. So I'm thinking, maybe this is it. But what was happening, I was trying to create an Ishmael. And so here it was, and I'm walking through this.

36:29 I'm hanging on to the sink. I said, Lord, not my will, your will be done. And as I'm breathing through the pain of it, I said, Father, I never want to go through that again. That was two years of so much pain. And would you be my matchmaker? And so week after week, and it got easier and easier. And then I was in prayer in July. Now this is just before I head to Australia. So here I am in the middle of July and I'm in prayer with the Lord. And all of a sudden I hear his voice and he says, Patricia, your winter is over. And everything of that lifted completely. and all the healing was like it was instant I was like I could love life again I didn't even care if I was ever married Or had somebody, you know, like that in my life. It's like I could love life again. It was like all the color came back and, you know, the trees, everything, you know.

37:23 It had been black and white for a while. Oh, my goodness, yes. And so now I'm just this happy -go -lucky myself again. And Bruce, I was at the house a couple weeks before we're leaving. He says, you never know, you might meet somebody in Australia. And I'm thinking, Bruce, you know, my big brother. But I could tell you how healed I was that he could tease me about it. Yeah. You know, and so I'm like, nah. You know, and then the next week, now one week before we leave, he says it again. Never know. You might meet somebody. And I said, come on, Bruce. We're in Australia, you know, kangaroo land. And so we get to the airport. You know, we're just freshmen. We have all this fun. Tease about chocolate and girl stuff, you know. So the first night in Australia, I have a dream. And in this dream, it's like this TV screen. And one of my friends in the speaking world steps in. And he says, Patricia.

38:19 You're about to get married. His name is Issachar, a man who knows the times and seasons. And this is the call on his life, the prophetic. And he began to explain that. I wake up from the dream. I'm thinking, oh, my goodness. Wow. So I go down, have a coffee with Bruce, you know, getting more of the anointing and the mocha. So I'm telling Bruce, I said, I have this dream. And so he's like, oh, you know, be sure to write it down. And then he gives me these words of wisdom. And he said, I know you've probably already done this, but be sure you've dealt with the sandcastles. And I'm thinking, yeah, yeah, okay, done, you know. And so I go back to my room that night and I'm going to go before the Lord because anytime something is brought up. I'm quick to go and deal with it before the Lord because I don't want any hindrances. That is a good secret. So I'm coming up. It's like, Lord, I want to talk to you about these sandcastles. I want to make sure those are dealt with. And then I'm like, what are sandcastles? What do you mean? I don't know what he actually meant by that because I thought I did. And then I did. So the next morning, coffee. I'm like. Bruce, what are sandcastles?

39:31 And he laughed. He's so kind with me. And he says, in very plain language, sandcastles are those things you make up in your mind like fantasies. He said, we all do it. You know, the fantasies that, you know, he's got to be this big, this tall, this, you know, tall, dark, handsome kind of thing. And I thought, well, I don't think I had any sandcastles. But then as I began to think about it, it's like I didn't previously to this. the South African guy. But now I'm like, you're right. When I look at a guy, he's like, oh, that's what I'm attracted to because that's what I was attracted to in the South African guy. You know, the dark hair, very muscular alpha guy. And so I said, oh, okay. So I go back to my room that night and I repent of the sandcastles in my mind. And so it's like, Lord, I don't care what he looks like. please make him handsome.

40:22 I don't care what he looks like. And so I laid it on the altar because I said, Lord, you told me I would be married someday. So, and now I have this dream that I'm going to be married. And so I just like, I just lay it all down. I don't know what all that looks like, but okay. So then Monday comes the first day of the translation by faith school. And this young man, young Shane. walks in and Bruce has seen him at other conferences, but Shane comes in and he was early and he's like, oh, there's Bruce. So he goes to shake his hand and just say, hey, you know, thank you for coming. We've been fasting and praying, you know, for the school in this time. And Bruce, as soon as he shakes Shane's hands, the Lord tells him, this is him. Oh, wow. Wow. And Bruce is like, oh, like it's him. You know that, well, this is going to be an interesting week. And so because now he's going to be keeping an eye on me and he's going to be keeping an eye on Shane. Right. Like, okay, this is going to be like, how's this going to work? And long story short, I leave on a Saturday. So Shane had asked me like, hey, when are you leaving? We had like two or three times I got to talk just for a couple of minutes in the breaks. And like I do with all the students, you know, I check in with the students, how they're doing and the activations and different things. And so he'd said, so when are you leaving? I'm like, Saturday, I'm heading to Sydney to visit a couple of friends. But they're still working out transportation because, you know, Bruce and Reshma are leaving a couple of days later. And I'm thinking, why am I telling him this part? And he says, oh, you know what?

41:53 The airport is on my way home. I'll just drop you off, you know, if you need, you know. And I said, oh, thank you. I'll let our host know. And so in his mind, he's like. What did I just do? I just offered Bruce's little sister a ride, you know, and he runs to the house. Hey, make sure she feels comfortable. I didn't even realize what I was offering, but I just want you to know it's there, you know, just if you need it, you know, so totally fine if you don't. So at dinner table, we're eating and I tell them and Anna, our host, and Reshma are sitting there and they're like, no, no, no, you don't need to go with this guy just for logistics reasons. And I said, no, it's fine, you know, and they're like, no, no, no. And of course, Rashma comes, you know, from the Indian Fijian background that in her culture, you're never a young woman, single woman is never alone with a single guy, you know, or without a brother or father there. And I'm thinking, number one, I didn't know he was single, you know, thinking so. But I was thinking, okay.

42:53 You didn't even know he was single. I didn't know, you know, but I was. They didn't know actually. So it was funny because they're going back and forth and saying, Patricia, don't do this. You don't need to feel like it. And finally, here's Bruce at the table also eating, but his head is down and he's just listening to all of us. And I said, Bruce, Shane has offered me a ride to the airport. And Bruce just looks up and he says, he's a nice guy. And then proceeds back. head down, continue eating. I think we were eating soup or something. And I looked at that. I'm like, he's not concerned at all. So I'm like, okay. So they're talking. And he knew something. And he knew something. And so they're carrying on. And then all of a sudden they said, well, we don't, you know, no single guy, you know, you don't go with them like that. I'm like, is he single? And then Bruce looked up and he said, yes, he's single. And then I was like, well, then maybe I shouldn't, you know, cause I'm not going to put myself in a situation. Now what's funny. is that we have no idea how Bruce knew he was single. Yeah. Because he really didn't know Shane. Oh. So, yeah, that was an interesting moment, I'm thinking. Anyway, so we're like, okay, so Shane and I, he takes me to the airport, and Bruce escorts me to the car. Shane has this white car and opens the door and says, your chariot awaits. Oh, wow. And Shane, also operating in the prophetic, felt the weight of those words.

44:16 And he's like, wait, what? And he's like, no, no. And so he kind of shook it off. So we get in the car and I had asked Shane earlier in the school, like, cause we were talking about our stories and he said, yeah, my story is too long to explain in two, three minutes. I'm like, okay. So we're getting in the car. I turned to him and cause you know, in Australia, they drive on the opposite side of the vehicle, opposite side of the road. And they said, we have an hour to the airport. Tell me your story. And so he's like, okay. So he starts to tell me his story and then he started tearing up a little bit and he just touched my hand, like, you know, just the top of my hand and just to say, Hey, you might see some tears, but just know it's okay. Yeah. But what actually happened in that moment that just startled him was that when he just touched the top of my hand, he literally felt his hand inside of my hand. Oh, wow. And at that very moment when he did that, I looked down and I saw the top part of his hand and something leapt inside of me. Because just a year ago, I was with the Lord in a vision. And we were at the top of this mountain overlooking all the things of my life and the things that had been accomplished. And my husband was standing next to me with his arm around me. And the only thing I saw was the top of his hand. Oh. And when I saw Shane's hand, you know, the skin tone color and some have more blue, some more red. But it was white when I saw that. And when I saw the

45:46 top of his hand, it was all white. And I thought, oh. because you flash back to that vision and thinking, no, no, just like Mary, I'll just keep things in my heart because I'm not going there. After that two years, I'm like, no, I'm loving life right now, so I'm okay. And so then we get to the, we stop at a gas station before we get to the airport. And so now we're sitting across from each other and we're just chatting. And he asked me a question. I began to answer him this question, something about my life. And all of a sudden I looked up and he had frozen in front of me. And I thought, are you okay? I looked at him and he just like broke loose for a minute and he pushed his chair back, turned beet red.

46:28 And he's like, no, he said, there's just, there's just so much love that comes from your eyes. Oh, my. He had gotten lost in my eyes. And he was so startled because he's kept himself so pure and just, you know, not going anywhere other than his only goal was to get Bruce's little sister to the airport. Right. And so now we spent some time at the airport. Now the wheelchair attendant comes and gets me. And they see me like, we got to get you down to the airport now. It's time to board. They grab my stuff. And they were just rushing me off. And I said, hey, hang on. Can I just at least give my friend a hug? Because, you know, he spent time and got me to the airport, gave him a hug. And they wheeled me down the airport ramp there. And in that moment for Shane, he's like, he said, the strangest thing happened was that it felt like my heart went with you. And he said, I didn't know, like, what is going on? And two days later, we were on a phone conversation. And I'm telling him about this airport ride that he said, I'm just so blessed that Bruce would even say yes to letting me take you to the airport. And I said, you have no idea what the whole conversation around that.

47:39 And so I was telling him because when I came down the next morning, because the girls, ladies were wanting to know, are you going to go with this guy? And I said, in that moment, I felt like Rebecca. I said, will you go with this guy? And now Shane is listening. because the prophetic word that God had given him was that God would bring him his Rebecca. His Rebecca. And so I sent him a picture to prove that it got on the airplane. He sent it to his best mate, and he said, please pray. And his best mate, Kingsley, rings him back the next day, and he said, Shane, I fell to my knees and cried for half an hour in just thanking God because this is your Rebecca.

48:22 Wow. And Shane had knew, because then the Lord caught him in a vision and said, will you choose her? Wow. And just because, you know, and Shane had already chosen me in his heart. Yeah. And then when the Lord said, will you choose her? And so he was so happy that week. And so the following Saturday, one week later, he took me off the market. Because remember Michael Van Gleiman's words, you'll be quick. One week later, two weeks later from that. He was in the U .S. where the next day after he arrived, we were ring shopping. And then four days later, we were engaged. Wow. So it all happened so fast. That's an arranged marriage. That's an arranged marriage.

49:04 Arranged marriage by God. Yes. And, you know, it's interesting you say that because, you know, I always thought, you know, when I meet the guy, all the sparks and all these things would happen, right? Right. And I remember thinking about how quickly this was happening. And Shane telling me, you know, I will pursue you. You don't have to. And even if you decide that I'm not the one you want or whatever, it's okay. But just know I'm the one that will pursue you. And I'm thinking, okay. Because I hadn't said yes or anything to all this. All this is really happening. This was in the first week. And then I remember thinking, I'm walking down the hallway of my house and saying, Lord, I don't have all these sparks.

49:45 I know you're doing something in this man. And it looks like, from what I can see, everything's coming together. And it's like an arranged marriage. And all of a sudden, I heard him so clearly saying, that's what you asked me for. Is that if I would be your matchmaker. I'm like, that's what it is. Oh, I have to tell you one more part. When Bruce and Rashma came home. I got home on a Tuesday, and Shane and I were already starting the conversations. They came home. I picked them up from the airport on Thursday. And, of course, that's a long trip back, and Bruce is tired and rushed. But I said, Bruce, I've got to tell you one thing. I've got to tell you one thing. This is okay. He said, what? So he's getting ready to get in his big truck to head home. And I said, you remember when you said I might meet somebody in Australia?

50:30 And he says, yeah. And I said, I think I met him. And he's like, who? Oh, yeah. And I said, Shane. Shane who? And Resh was like, honey. That sounds like you. We'll tell you our story later. Yeah. Resh was like, honey, the guy that took her to the airport. Oh, he's like, oh, I already knew that. I'm like, you knew that? He said, that's old news. And then he looks at me with that. That twinkle in his eye. Just don't move there before I do. I'm thinking, what? Because I didn't know he knew. I didn't know any of this.

51:14 But just to have that confirmation. And then the Lord has just given us one confirmation after another, after another, after another. Tell them about the picture. Oh, yes. So then two weeks after, you know, Shane and I had conversations, he's taken me off the market. What does that mean, he's taken you off the market? Explain that. So I was at a conference right after the Australia trip. I mean, literally got home, repacked my bags, went to Tri -Cities. And I'm there. And, of course, we're standing in line waiting for the doors to open. And I'm just an attendee. And so people ask, like, so are you married?

51:54 Do you have children? I'm like, no. And then one of the times they said, are you seeing anybody? And I said. No, not really. Now, this was the first week Shane and I are in conversations. And he's telling me, I'm going to pursue you, da, da, da. But nothing was official, right? So I'm telling him this, you know, in our evening conversation. I said, yeah, I asked if I'm seeing anybody. And I told him I wasn't seeing anybody. And he said, what do you mean you're not seeing anybody? What do I need to do? I'm trying to get to the U .S. as fast as I can so I can make it official. I said, well. You can make it official without being in person. He's like, okay, what do I need to do? And I said, well, they usually call it taking you off the market. And he said, okay, whatever that is, I'll do that. Because when you take somebody off the market, it's like when you take a house, it's no longer for sale.

52:45 It's off the market. So nobody else can claim it. It's off the market. So he's like, okay, I'll claim you. He's like, you're off the market. Wow, in so many words. In so many words, yeah. Which is exactly what Michael Van Vlijmen had said. Exactly what Michael had said. It was off the market within one week. Wow. Okay, we needed an explanation. Okay, now tell about the picture. Okay, so the picture. So then this was a couple weeks in when I'm off the market now, and he said, hey, take a look at this. I want to send you a picture. And he sends me the picture, and there it's of him. the wooden fence with the two rungs, the reddish dirt, and the mountain behind him. He was the kangaroo. Isn't that remarkable?

53:32 And the second kangaroo that was sitting there eating was his best mate because who had been on his knees. For 12 years, praying and crying out to God, when, Lord, when will you send us Rebecca? Because Shane has gone through heartache after heartache with the testings, all the things, from losing so much of everything. And he'd come to that point where he had nothing. He was in 27 -hour pain because of work -related injuries. And he said, Lord, but he remained faithful in saying, Lord, I'm just grateful I'm saved. And just that gratitude. And what he didn't know was that his pastor, when he was leaving for the Australian School of the Supernatural, knew that he's like, she said, when you left for that school, I knew you were about to meet your wife.

54:26 Wow. And so that was his promise. After confirmation. Because he said, I couldn't see my future. And then God turned it around in a day. Wow. Amen. Glory to God. It's just such the promises of God that if we just remain faithful, as I taught in the school, that promise he gives is our tikvah, that rope. And I hung on to it when I was 21. And the word tikvah also means hope. Hope, yes. So hope is a rope. Yes, hope is a rope. And I hung on to that because from the prophetic word, I'd be married. But there were so many things because I was like, any guy, Nobody would come near me, you know, because I had assumed it was because of the crutches. You know, why would they? And how tall are you? And how, you know, I'm what, four foot nine. So very petite. And so it was just like, you know, they're like, yeah, we like you, but we just couldn't do the crutches. You know, we want to be able to do this with our wife. All these things. And so it created all these stories. But I had to let that go. Right. But one of the things I said to the Lord, I said, Lord, let me meet my husband before you give me new legs. Yes. Because then I know he really loves me for me, you know, not what I can do because people were attracted to what I could do, attracted to the ministry, to the stage life, all these things. And it's like, Lord, just let him love me for me. And that was Shane's first words. He said, he said, I'm not going to even read your book or read anything online because I want to get to know who you

55:57 are and love you for you. Beautiful. And that was the first time somebody really said that to me. Wow. Yeah. So just a beautiful story that God just remaining faithful. So you've written a book and it's called? From Crutches to Crushing It. From Crutches to Crushing It, and it's available on Amazon? Yes, it's on Amazon. Okay. And it's my story of my beginnings, because people have to know where I started from to really understand all the promises that he's fulfilled in the music world, in the business world, and now ministry in the speaking world. Yes, and in the married world. Now, that'll be volume two. Okay, but you also have a promise for your healing. Yes.

56:40 Give us that, because I want you to pray for people to press in for their promises. Yes, yes, because when Bruce had seen me, I was at a conference with him in TomTom, Washington, and he was praying, and all of a sudden, he looked up, and instead of seeing me at the 4 '9", he saw me at the 5 '8", 5 '10", and I was like an Amazon woman. He's like, oh. this is who she is. And so, and through the years, I would have students tell me like, you know, Ms. Bartel, can we share a dream we had? It would be like, sure. I was like, I dreamed you had new legs. Wow. You know, and then I was just even a year ago, a lady was praying and she said, she turned around shocked and she saw me. She said, oh my goodness, you were just in my vision. I've never seen you before, but in my vision, you were up and dancing. Wow. And I said, the time is coming closer and closer because it's not, if I will be healed, it's a win. Exactly. Because again, it's a surrender to him because I know I've got my tikvah, my hope, the promise that he said, you know, I will be healed. I will have new legs, you know. And so that's, it's the constant saying and surrendering.

57:55 And it's easier to surrender when you have your tikvah, when you have the promises. And ultimately. He is our hope. Absolutely. Absolutely. So now, will you pray for people to have their hope restored, their hope strengthened, that they can hang on to their promises and really believe what God said he's going to do? Because he's done so many already for you. Yes. They're already being fulfilled things that from the time you were 21. You were getting the promise. You're going to be married. You're going to be married. And as soon as the visa comes through, you have 90 days, right? And it'll be fast. It'll be very fast. Glory to God. So pray for our listeners, would you?

58:37 Yes. Father, we just come before you. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your goodness. And as you know, every single listener that's listening, Father, you know, where they thought all hope was lost in knowing we know you as our hope. And Father, the promises that you've given that seem to be so far away, Lord, even for me when I thought it was the impossible, like I didn't even have a guy on the horizon. Lord, how is this going to happen? But yet you are the God of the impossible. Yes. And Father, I just thank you that in surrendering, Father, we just choose to surrender those hopes to you.

59:19 Lord, that I was believing for some person. And, Father, I laid it down, and I said, not my will, but your will be done. And, Father, that's what you're looking for from us, because that is what activates the promises to be fulfilled. And, Lord, with your listeners, Lord, we just decree and declare, not our will, but your will be done, Father. Let your name be magnified. And, Father, just pray for your people, Lord, that as that trust builds, that they just take the step. And say, Lord, it's yours. I trust you and I surrender it to you. And Father, just thank you for your faithfulness that you answer those prayers. You answer those cries of the heart. Lord, that you care for every detail of our lives and that you will walk in and give them their promises. Father, because you are our God of hope. Thank you, Father.

1:00:16 We bless you and we love you. In Jesus' name. Amen. Check out our website at globaloutpouring .org to find out more information, read our blogs, connect with us, and donate. You can also browse our web store for life -changing anointed books. Until next time, this is Sharon Buss. And I'm Philip Buss. God bless you with His overwhelming, loving presence.