Finding Joy on Your Prodigal Journey with Jill Baughan (episode 167)

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Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast.

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If you love a prodigal, you can discover help

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and hope for your wilderness journey right here

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at the When You Love a Prodigal podcast, and

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also help and hope for your own life journey.

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One thing I am sure of, if you love a prodigal,

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one thing that seems to be in short supply in

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your life, in your home, is probably joy. And

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today I have a special guest who specializes

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in joy. Don't forget, write down anything you

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want to apply or try or think about or you'll

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forget. I first met Jill Bond online. I observed

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her sharing joy with many. She interviewed me

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about finding joy with a prodigal. And that really

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helped me to think about it. and to hear what

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she has to say. So today, I have invited her

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to spread some joy with you. So Jill, welcome,

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welcome. So good to be here, Judy. Thank you.

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You are, oh, my treat and our very great gratitude.

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So tell us just a little about yourself and how

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joy invaded your life. I grew up in the Midwest.

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And one of the first lessons I learned about

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joy was when I was a kid. I learned it on the

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tilt -a -whirl while I was writing. And that's

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the first place I realized that it was entirely

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possible for a human being to laugh and throw

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up at the same time. This has something here.

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Well, later in life, that lesson came back to

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me as a realization that you really can. experience

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joy and sorrow and tough times in the same life

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on the road, side by side. We just have to be

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very, very intentional about drawing from the

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joy. So how do you define joy? A lot of laughing?

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Not necessarily. Most people have probably heard

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of joy and happiness are not the same thing,

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but I define joy as deep delight. that feeds

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your soul. And that definition to me helps me

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to hold, to be able to hold joy and sorrow at

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the same time that you're going through terrible

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times, but there is something there that will

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bring you deep delight, even if it's just a shot

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of it, even if it's just a little piece of the

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journey along the way. So I love that definition

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of delight that feeds your soul. I've used it

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a lot. Well, that's something we need because

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when you're going through the hard things, sometimes

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your soul starves a little. Oh, yes. And so I

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think that's a beautiful thought. And we need

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joy so much. So I'm going to jump in on a thought

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here that you can expound on if you wish. But

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for me, one of the most important things I found

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that helps me with joy is to give thanks in everything.

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As things happen that are not easy or good or

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desirable or really bad things that happen, that

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I have found that God's instruction to give thanks

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in everything makes so much difference. And I

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know he didn't say, thank you, Lord. He didn't

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say, give thanks for everything. Because some

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things are really horrible, really bad that happen.

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And we're brokenhearted even. But in them, we

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can still thank God that he's in control. And

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that helps me to move toward joy anyway. Right,

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right. You know, I experienced that. In 2020,

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when COVID first invaded our lives, my father

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-in -law, Ben is my husband, his dad was at 91

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years old, contracted COVID in April of that

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year. And we couldn't see him. He was taken to

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the hospital. My husband was very, very close

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to his dad. So like so many thousands of people,

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we weren't allowed to see him. And that was hard.

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He was taken to the hospital. And, of course,

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we couldn't see him there either. And this was

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just the worst. And who could have, you know,

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how many times have we said, didn't see that

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coming, you know? Just the worst thing. And we

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were FaceTiming him in the hospital because of

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this absolute angel of a nurse. And he was in

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there maybe three days before. He said to us,

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he was having a struggle trying to breathe. And

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he said, I'm ready to go. And we weren't ready.

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You weren't ready. No, to let him go. He's a

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wonderful, funny, beautiful man who ended every

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conversation with my husband with a reference

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to me saying, tell her she's beautiful. Every

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conversation, we just loved him. But as I'm saying,

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there was nothing in this situation that was

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joyful, nothing about what was happening. But

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there was this nurse, and she, her name was Karen,

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and she used her own phone to help us see him

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and communicate with him. She set up a computer

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in the room and put hymns on this computer. Not

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knowing that ever since his wife had died 12

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years earlier, he listened to hymns every night

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for comfort on the radio. So she made this environment

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and she said, I will not leave him alone. I will

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not leave him. And as the time grew shorter and

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he said to us, I'm just ready to go. Tell him

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to just stop everything. She took her personal

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phone. And held it. I cannot tell you how long

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she held it. But we watched him as the time between

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breaths got longer and longer. And then it just

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failed to rise. And my husband said, I think

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he's gone. And she listened and she said, he

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is. And she cried with us. What a special thing.

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She was the biggest gift. thought since then,

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what another example of joy and sorrow. I said,

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it was the most terrible, beautiful thing that

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we'd ever seen, being present with Him, sort

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of, in His last breath and ushering Him into

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the arms of God. And we could look at it as,

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oh, this is awful. FaceTime. FaceTime to watch

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your father die. Isn't it wonderful that in these

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circumstances, we had FaceTime to be with him?

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Absolutely. So I know exactly what you're talking

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about. And in that, I'm always saying, look for

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a tiny bit of joy or gratitude in that big bad

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story. Yeah. It gives us hope. It gives us something

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to really believe. Right. So let me ask you this.

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It's hard to find joy when your tears are coming.

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When you just got one more piece of bad news

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about your child or your adult children have

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said, we don't want to have a relationship with

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you anymore. And that has happened more and more

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and more lately. What are the questions you can

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ask yourself in order to Change our mind, move

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our thinking from the horrible, the bad, the

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sad, to something that helps us to find joy.

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I started using the phrase, change the channel.

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And I say it to myself all the time when I find

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myself spiraling. Okay, Jill, change the channel.

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Go focus over here. One question I love, as somebody

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asked me, And I've asked rooms full of people

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is what was the last thing you saw that brought

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you joy? And I give people about 15 seconds to

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think about that. And the whole room smiles in

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15 seconds. You know, what was the last thing

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that brought you joy? It's just a way of changing

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that channel. And that focus that, and it's,

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you know, none of my suggestions and none of

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these, I've got some more questions, but none

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of them are an attempt to put a Band -Aid on

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a gaping wound and say, just put on a happy face

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and it'll be all right, because it won't. It

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won't. We all know that. However, I think the

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more we learn about shots of joy, that's what

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I call them, shots of joy. Shots of joy. Yeah,

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the dopamine and the hope and the gratitude.

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invade your sorrowful spaces a second is it just

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exactly what you were talking about is what are

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you grateful for no matter what yeah so that's

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everything falls apart what are you the grateful

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for just one day um same same uh the question

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i love this one when do you feel most And you

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have to think about that sometimes. What are

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you doing when you feel most alive? Then start

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doing it more often. If music, I'm being personal

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here, music makes me feel so alive. Outdoors

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nature makes me feel so alive. And I think when

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we're in crisis, we forget to give ourselves

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those gifts of what we need. Also, I have found

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out my grandchildren live four and a half hours

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away from me, so I don't get to see them every

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day. When I go see them, I forget about everything

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else. My face has changed, so they make me feel

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alive. Everybody has something. The fourth one,

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I just have five. The fourth one, I love this

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one too. What do you do for fun? And I found

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this question so valuable when my mother was

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99 years old. She was in an assisted living residence

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and one of the ladies at the table who was fairly

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advanced in dementia. But my mom said, this is

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my daughter and this is how this lady got to

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know everybody. She said, this is my daughter,

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Jill. And the lady got up right up here and said,

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so what do you do for fun? And I thought... Brilliant.

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What if we all introduced ourselves, not by what

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our marital status, whether we have children,

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what we do for a living, anything else, but the

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first thing was, here's what I do for fun. Think

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about what is fun, because that too goes by the

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wayside, I think, when we're so consumed. Challenges.

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So I was reading an article today, since it's

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the anniversary of COVID about what people felt

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they lost and what they gained and who handled

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it better and who didn't. And one of the things

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that was overwhelmingly evident was that people

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turned to outdoors. They turned to the fun things

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they could like to do. They made up games and

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things like that because they were not happy

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in the being locked down. And yet they turned

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to the things that gave them joy. And it brought

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them through it better than the ones who were

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angry. Right. Oh, heavens, yes. Oh, yeah. And

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the last question I have here is, I think when

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we're in a bad place, we just think nothing good

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around. The question is, what is possible? I

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can't change this. I can't change that. I can't

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change a bunch of things. But what is possible?

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And it's a great question to sit with. What joy

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is possible? So those are some questions that

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are helpful, I guess. So I'm going to pause on

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this and tell my story of joy in very hard times,

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not with my prodigal, but with when my husband

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died. And it was fairly sudden and we weren't

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expecting it. And yet my kids were all with me

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and his brother was there. And the Lord said,

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he's coming to me. And so we just said, okay,

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he's yours, Lord. And he had a smile on his face.

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And he just left. And the doctors came in and

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said, all right, we'll start undoing things.

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And it's like, no, he's already gone. And that

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was joy. That night I said to the Lord, so how

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am I supposed to live? And he said. well, I'll

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be with you. And I said, well, I know that, but

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really, how am I supposed to live? And the Lord

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said, every step of the way, Judy, I will be

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with you. And he has been. And the other thing

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I asked him, and he answered me beautifully,

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was, so why did he have to leave now? And it

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was not expected, you know. He had to leave because

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the treatment for some melanoma cancer that he

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had, which usually works but on occasions does

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not, actually is what took his life, was it attacked

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his muscles, all of his muscles. And so I said,

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why did he have to leave? And the Lord said,

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I wanted to be kind to him. And I'm like, I can't

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argue with that at all. And dad has, you know,

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it's been two and a half years almost now. And

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I miss him every day, you know. But it's like,

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but he's not suffering. He didn't have to go

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through the long, hard stuff of having cancer.

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And he was, he's with Jesus. And how can I? not

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be joyful, not just accepting of it, but joyful

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in it. And that has been what's kept me going

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and still doing a podcast, you know, and a few

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other things. But God is able to give us joy,

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even in the very hard things. And these questions

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you've mentioned are really helpful. Maybe you

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have any other thoughts on when there's no joy

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in a situation. And I know people whose children

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have taken their lives. And you just go, how

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do you find joy in that? Do you have some thoughts

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for us? You know, when it comes to things like

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that, they're just... So there are no easy answers,

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obviously. I turn to concrete things because

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somehow that can help you get, you know, breathe

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and take a step if you can do something concrete.

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One of the things that helps me is to concentrate

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on moments. And I call it embracing moments,

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seizing and celebrating moments. That's it. Seizing

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moments being determined in the day to change

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the channel. You know, God help me change the

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channel. And one way my husband and I did this

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was to start, we had a one line a day journal.

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Have you ever heard of those? I don't know that

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I have. You can get them anywhere online. It's

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a little tiny space for every day, just one line,

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one word, whatever. And you can use it any way

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you want, but it goes on for five years. So you

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have it across this way, and then you start over

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the next year, and it's right under the year

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you did before. And we started that journal January

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of 2020 of all the times. And we went on and

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did right before we would go to bed. We'd say,

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what's one good thing that happened today? No

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matter what, this is one, one good thing. It

00:18:06.700 --> 00:18:08.920
took, and people will tell me, oh, I can't keep

00:18:08.920 --> 00:18:12.019
a journal. I'm not a writer. No, this is just

00:18:12.019 --> 00:18:15.740
one word, if it has to be one word, 15 seconds

00:18:15.740 --> 00:18:19.380
or less. And I will tell you, we just finished

00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:22.539
up five years of it. Five years, wow. You know,

00:18:22.539 --> 00:18:24.920
one of those entries was the day his dad died

00:18:24.920 --> 00:18:27.960
and a bunch of other things that were awful.

00:18:29.589 --> 00:18:33.730
But there are few things more comforting than

00:18:33.730 --> 00:18:39.450
a physical book to put by your bedside or anywhere

00:18:39.450 --> 00:18:44.630
else to be able to fill your mind in the evening

00:18:44.630 --> 00:18:47.730
before your head hits the pillow. Because we

00:18:47.730 --> 00:18:51.609
all know that nighttime is the worst. It's when

00:18:51.609 --> 00:18:54.950
your brain relaxes, but your heart is just prowling

00:18:54.950 --> 00:18:57.769
around, prowling around. The goodness of God,

00:18:57.890 --> 00:19:00.769
that's what you put in your mind last thing at

00:19:00.769 --> 00:19:04.390
night or any other time. And it was so wonderful.

00:19:04.430 --> 00:19:08.049
You talked about God being faithful to see five

00:19:08.049 --> 00:19:12.470
years, hundreds and hundreds of moments, but

00:19:12.470 --> 00:19:16.069
they were tiny. I got sick on a trip one time,

00:19:16.089 --> 00:19:19.569
and it was not life -threatening, but it was

00:19:19.569 --> 00:19:22.750
awful. It was a 15 -hour road trip, and I was

00:19:22.750 --> 00:19:29.069
sick. I'm so sorry. At the end of the day, I

00:19:29.069 --> 00:19:31.289
thought, no, I have to put something in this

00:19:31.289 --> 00:19:33.789
journal. All I could think of was, didn't die.

00:19:34.069 --> 00:19:39.670
That was it. That was the best I could do. But

00:19:39.670 --> 00:19:44.390
that is one concrete thing that a person can

00:19:44.390 --> 00:19:50.589
do is to concentrate on those tiny moments. Also,

00:19:50.710 --> 00:19:52.869
there's another thing that I love to do, and

00:19:52.869 --> 00:19:56.930
that is encourage people. to keep a running list

00:19:56.930 --> 00:20:00.450
of things that bring you joy, what brings you

00:20:00.450 --> 00:20:03.670
deep delight. And you can't think of everything

00:20:03.670 --> 00:20:06.529
that brings you joy all at once in one sitting,

00:20:06.589 --> 00:20:09.089
but just you keep it where I have a little notebook

00:20:09.089 --> 00:20:11.910
right here. You keep a running list of it and

00:20:11.910 --> 00:20:14.349
just add to it when you think of it. And when

00:20:14.349 --> 00:20:17.369
you're going through a tough time, look at that

00:20:17.369 --> 00:20:20.029
list and pull something from that list and be

00:20:20.029 --> 00:20:25.869
sure, again, to give yourself. That whether it's

00:20:25.869 --> 00:20:31.930
time outdoors. Yeah. I read one lady whose best

00:20:31.930 --> 00:20:36.289
friend died. She was very much an outdoors person.

00:20:36.730 --> 00:20:41.150
And she was grieving. And she said, I went into

00:20:41.150 --> 00:20:43.950
the woods because no other arms were big enough.

00:20:44.730 --> 00:20:48.690
I thought, what a wise. Sounds like a poet to

00:20:48.690 --> 00:20:51.410
me. It does. I know. I never forgot it. I can't

00:20:51.410 --> 00:20:55.640
even tell you who said it. But anything that

00:20:55.640 --> 00:20:59.980
you know that you can look at concrete and you

00:20:59.980 --> 00:21:03.539
can see, oh, yes, music brings me joy. Oh, being

00:21:03.539 --> 00:21:06.339
with this person brings me joy. Being by myself,

00:21:06.579 --> 00:21:09.480
you know, whatever your situation is, brings

00:21:09.480 --> 00:21:13.460
me joy. All you introverts out there, but all

00:21:13.460 --> 00:21:19.220
the introverts. We just don't pair the two things

00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:22.519
up. So those are a couple of concrete things

00:21:22.519 --> 00:21:27.359
that you can do. That's really a helpful thing.

00:21:27.579 --> 00:21:31.380
And I think it's almost surprising when you're

00:21:31.380 --> 00:21:36.299
in the midst of pain and loss and fear that God

00:21:36.299 --> 00:21:40.359
can really come in and put joy in your heart,

00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:44.700
in your mind, even if there's no answer yet.

00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:49.180
There's no solution yet. He can give. Because

00:21:49.180 --> 00:21:52.920
it's one of the things that he gives is joy.

00:21:53.740 --> 00:21:57.059
We might think, well, yeah, he gives us faith.

00:21:57.299 --> 00:22:00.359
Well, yes, but that faith can help with joy,

00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:05.640
too. Right, right. It's a hard thing to sometimes

00:22:05.640 --> 00:22:08.980
grab hold of. But I really appreciate the things

00:22:08.980 --> 00:22:12.900
you said. And I like that idea of one thing every

00:22:12.900 --> 00:22:18.880
day. I tend to. get in my journal and write for

00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:23.980
two or three or four pages. But then that's effort

00:22:23.980 --> 00:22:26.619
to go back and read it. But to just skim over

00:22:26.619 --> 00:22:31.559
and just think someday when your kids find that

00:22:31.559 --> 00:22:35.720
and say, oh, yeah, she really was joyful, wasn't

00:22:35.720 --> 00:22:39.380
she? And I bet this is part of it. Right. So

00:22:39.380 --> 00:22:43.440
here's a question that you suggested. So why

00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:47.710
did you once rent a chimpanzee? To come and play

00:22:47.710 --> 00:22:52.529
at your house. Okay. I suggested this question

00:22:52.529 --> 00:22:54.910
because, number one, I love to tell the story.

00:22:55.190 --> 00:22:59.750
But number two, it's about redeeming a lost opportunity

00:22:59.750 --> 00:23:03.710
for joy. And you can do that too. Sometimes people

00:23:03.710 --> 00:23:06.769
look back and say, well, I blew that one. You

00:23:06.769 --> 00:23:09.849
know, it's never going to be the same. I was

00:23:09.849 --> 00:23:12.549
at the state fair with my mom years ago, Virginia

00:23:12.549 --> 00:23:15.900
State Fair. And you could get your picture. We

00:23:15.900 --> 00:23:17.420
walked by this booth where you could get your

00:23:17.420 --> 00:23:20.799
picture taken with a chimpanzee for $5. A real

00:23:20.799 --> 00:23:24.200
one. Yeah. Oh, yes. Very much alive. She was

00:23:24.200 --> 00:23:27.019
two years old. Her name was Tootsie, I think.

00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:30.319
And I begged my mom, begged my mom, let's get

00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:32.700
our picture taken with the chimp. And keep in

00:23:32.700 --> 00:23:36.180
mind that I was a grown woman with a child at

00:23:36.180 --> 00:23:39.059
the time. I was not a child myself begging my

00:23:39.059 --> 00:23:43.740
mom. My mom was 70. I think I was 35. But she

00:23:43.740 --> 00:23:48.059
was a little more reserved than me. And she just

00:23:48.059 --> 00:23:50.660
kept refusing. And finally, I said, why not?

00:23:51.019 --> 00:23:54.339
And she said, well, somebody might look at the

00:23:54.339 --> 00:23:56.559
picture 50 years from now and think it was a

00:23:56.559 --> 00:24:00.619
three -generation photo. And she was not joking.

00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:03.500
So we lost the opportunity. She wouldn't do it.

00:24:03.519 --> 00:24:07.380
She would not do it. And I was so bummed. Well,

00:24:07.460 --> 00:24:12.660
20 years later. My family was coming from Indiana

00:24:12.660 --> 00:24:16.119
to Virginia for a family event. I knew this was

00:24:16.119 --> 00:24:19.640
the last time, most likely, that all of them

00:24:19.640 --> 00:24:22.619
would be in my space down here. I was lying in

00:24:22.619 --> 00:24:24.500
bed one night thinking, what am I going to do

00:24:24.500 --> 00:24:28.099
with these people for all these days? And then

00:24:28.099 --> 00:24:31.799
that day came back to my mind. I thought, I wonder

00:24:31.799 --> 00:24:35.220
if I could find a chimp, a photographable chimp.

00:24:35.299 --> 00:24:38.119
So I went networking and actually found one.

00:24:38.759 --> 00:24:41.599
Oh, how awesome. I know. And so I called the

00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:44.640
guy and I said, here's what's going on. Please

00:24:44.640 --> 00:24:46.960
don't think I'm crazy. But he said, oh, no, no,

00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:49.519
that's fine. He said, but your mom, I told him

00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:51.240
the story about my mom. He said, but your mom

00:24:51.240 --> 00:24:54.940
is, you know, older and it was cold outside.

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:56.680
He said, why don't I bring the chimp to your

00:24:56.680 --> 00:25:01.230
house? And you could not have made me any happier.

00:25:01.410 --> 00:25:05.589
So the day came and we set up a background and

00:25:05.589 --> 00:25:08.009
had one of the relatives, who's a photographer,

00:25:08.349 --> 00:25:12.130
set everything up. And, you know, under the guise

00:25:12.130 --> 00:25:14.210
of we're going to take some family photos, the

00:25:14.210 --> 00:25:17.559
chimp with the handler walks up the front. to

00:25:17.559 --> 00:25:20.160
the front door and I tell my mom, I said, put

00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.319
on some lipstick, mom, I got a surprise for you.

00:25:22.599 --> 00:25:25.359
And they walked through the door and she knew

00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:30.519
immediately what was going on. We spent 90 of

00:25:30.519 --> 00:25:35.599
the most fun minutes of my life. We rolled over,

00:25:35.700 --> 00:25:37.579
you know, and she was jumping all over us. We

00:25:37.579 --> 00:25:41.680
took 300 pictures. But the greatest part of the

00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:45.559
day was when I sat down with my mom. And we had

00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:49.160
our picture, that redemptive picture taken with

00:25:49.160 --> 00:25:53.000
the chimpanzee. And I tell people, I keep that

00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:58.740
picture of us on my dresser as a reminder, not

00:25:58.740 --> 00:26:01.460
only of that joyful moment, which never fails

00:26:01.460 --> 00:26:04.839
to make me smile, but of the moments that are

00:26:04.839 --> 00:26:08.700
waiting in the day that I don't want to miss.

00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:13.900
I don't want to miss them. I'm sorry, go ahead.

00:26:14.269 --> 00:26:16.750
No, you go ahead. There's a P .S. to this, too.

00:26:16.869 --> 00:26:20.829
When she was 99, my mom passed away. And we were

00:26:20.829 --> 00:26:24.309
working with the funeral director and the minister.

00:26:24.450 --> 00:26:26.390
And they said, you know, we have a little brochure

00:26:26.390 --> 00:26:29.170
that we put out and we need a picture. And my

00:26:29.170 --> 00:26:32.089
brother looked at me and he said, I have an idea,

00:26:32.230 --> 00:26:36.049
but it might be inappropriate. And I said, inappropriate

00:26:36.049 --> 00:26:38.970
is our middle name. I knew exactly what he wanted.

00:26:39.029 --> 00:26:42.329
So on my mom's. memorial brochure there's a picture

00:26:42.329 --> 00:26:46.730
of her with a chimpanzee and we told that story

00:26:46.730 --> 00:26:50.630
at her service and you talk about joy and sorrow

00:26:50.630 --> 00:26:54.549
in the same place in the same place and it was

00:26:54.549 --> 00:26:57.670
we were just intentional about it i mean there

00:26:57.670 --> 00:26:59.630
was there was nothing good there's nothing good

00:26:59.630 --> 00:27:03.430
about losing your mom you know but um oh the

00:27:03.430 --> 00:27:07.069
joy that was in that space well and just think

00:27:07.069 --> 00:27:10.720
of your whole family For all of them, you created

00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:15.539
a joyful memory that is going to be there. They

00:27:15.539 --> 00:27:20.079
might do it themselves later. I hope so. It's

00:27:20.079 --> 00:27:23.599
just so hopeful to me to know that you can be

00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:27.680
proactive about it, you know? Yeah, you can say,

00:27:27.779 --> 00:27:31.859
all right, if I find myself getting down or depressed,

00:27:32.160 --> 00:27:36.920
then I can. specifically say, all right, what

00:27:36.920 --> 00:27:40.599
is something joyful that I can do or think about

00:27:40.599 --> 00:27:44.759
or call somebody who will make me laugh? But

00:27:44.759 --> 00:27:49.599
I can at least take action to bring a change.

00:27:49.720 --> 00:27:54.279
And I think that's a wonderful thing to do. So

00:27:54.279 --> 00:27:56.640
what do you write when you write a book about

00:27:56.640 --> 00:28:02.220
it? You know, I wrote this book, No Matter What.

00:28:02.859 --> 00:28:07.400
And it's 90 devotions for experiencing unexpected

00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:12.740
joy in tough times. I wrote the devotional that

00:28:12.740 --> 00:28:17.980
I always wanted to read. And that was because

00:28:17.980 --> 00:28:22.160
I have got to have humor in my life. It's such

00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:25.059
a great perspective giver. And I'm sure somewhere,

00:28:25.140 --> 00:28:27.980
somebody has written devotionals that have humor

00:28:27.980 --> 00:28:31.460
in them. I wanted to tell stories. I wanted people

00:28:31.460 --> 00:28:35.420
to feel like by the end of these 90 devotions

00:28:35.420 --> 00:28:39.660
that they had some encouragement from a friend.

00:28:40.759 --> 00:28:44.420
Because, you know, people will know me by the

00:28:44.420 --> 00:28:46.460
time you get to the end. Because I tell a lot

00:28:46.460 --> 00:28:49.519
of my stories, but my stories are everybody's

00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:55.279
stories about imperfect lives. And I just, I

00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:57.519
love it when I feel like I kind of know the author.

00:28:57.920 --> 00:29:00.420
By the end of the book, and there's a sense of

00:29:00.420 --> 00:29:02.960
humor. I believe God has a sense of humor, and

00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:05.440
I believe that he wants us to see that also.

00:29:05.980 --> 00:29:09.180
Well, scripture tells us that God laughs. Exactly.

00:29:09.359 --> 00:29:12.720
So he does have a sense of humor. So here's an

00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:16.460
idea. So you have 90 devotionals in this book.

00:29:16.599 --> 00:29:19.559
Yes. So I have a book for people with prodigals

00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:24.140
that has 90 devotionals. So maybe people should

00:29:24.140 --> 00:29:28.779
have both books and either. read one each, read

00:29:28.779 --> 00:29:30.980
their one about their prodigal, and then read

00:29:30.980 --> 00:29:35.119
the one about joy. It sounds like a great idea.

00:29:35.980 --> 00:29:41.460
It's a hard place to be. And some people, probably

00:29:41.460 --> 00:29:45.140
you're better and quicker to find the joy than

00:29:45.140 --> 00:29:50.059
a lot of people because you have it in your personality

00:29:50.059 --> 00:29:53.059
as well as you've learned to look for the joy.

00:29:55.359 --> 00:29:59.240
But I think if people could learn that they could

00:29:59.240 --> 00:30:03.200
capture some joy, if they would just stop and

00:30:03.200 --> 00:30:06.000
look for something that would give them joy,

00:30:06.180 --> 00:30:09.859
to look for the good, even in the loss of someone.

00:30:09.900 --> 00:30:14.099
But certainly when your kids are making some

00:30:14.099 --> 00:30:18.000
hurtful choices, it's going to be a story later

00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:21.930
that will help other people. And you can think

00:30:21.930 --> 00:30:24.630
there's good that can come even from this hard

00:30:24.630 --> 00:30:27.569
thing we're going through. It's a story I have.

00:30:27.710 --> 00:30:31.410
Hopefully it's a story that your prodigal would

00:30:31.410 --> 00:30:35.089
have as well. To realize that even in the midst

00:30:35.089 --> 00:30:39.769
of this pain, I found some joy. And that gives

00:30:39.769 --> 00:30:46.650
others hope. I just, I love that. I have said

00:30:46.650 --> 00:30:51.200
that I hope while people read this book, I would

00:30:51.200 --> 00:30:54.079
love for them to experience joy while they're

00:30:54.079 --> 00:30:56.720
reading it, but also experience hope for joy

00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:00.599
after they put it down. That's good. Yeah, that's

00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:05.599
good. So any last thoughts you have or things

00:31:05.599 --> 00:31:09.759
you want to make sure that they remember or something

00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:14.940
we can pray for you? I just want people to remember

00:31:14.940 --> 00:31:21.120
that the change of the channel is so... important.

00:31:21.120 --> 00:31:24.859
There's an author, Tommy Newberry, wrote about

00:31:24.859 --> 00:31:28.779
joy a lot. He's written a couple books about

00:31:28.779 --> 00:31:32.799
joy, and he talks about mental discipline, which

00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:35.380
sounds to me, I always call it like low -carb

00:31:35.380 --> 00:31:38.720
thinking. That was my reaction to it. That's

00:31:38.720 --> 00:31:42.299
no fun. But he described it as, he didn't use

00:31:42.299 --> 00:31:44.400
the words change the channel, but that's what

00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:48.829
it was. And he said, though God's grace does

00:31:48.829 --> 00:31:53.630
not require mental discipline. Living a life

00:31:53.630 --> 00:31:58.289
of joyful excellence must be preceded by it.

00:31:58.910 --> 00:32:03.470
But I would love to leave people with that. It's

00:32:03.470 --> 00:32:07.230
nice to know that if I'm stewing in my own juice,

00:32:07.269 --> 00:32:11.430
that God doesn't love me any less. But we do

00:32:11.430 --> 00:32:16.609
have the option of changing the channel and living

00:32:16.609 --> 00:32:20.490
with more joy. I like that. It reminds me of

00:32:20.490 --> 00:32:26.049
Ephesians 2 .10 when it says that, first it says

00:32:26.049 --> 00:32:29.410
in Psalm 139, He was there making each person

00:32:29.410 --> 00:32:34.730
just the way they were. And then it says that

00:32:34.730 --> 00:32:38.509
He looks at them when they're born. And most

00:32:38.509 --> 00:32:42.289
translations say handiwork, but the real meaning,

00:32:42.309 --> 00:32:46.789
of course, is work of art, masterpiece. And He's

00:32:46.789 --> 00:32:50.319
just... God the Father is filled with joy when

00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:54.400
he looks at each of us as he was making us. And

00:32:54.400 --> 00:32:57.160
he sees, look, look, I've made another masterpiece.

00:32:57.319 --> 00:33:02.839
And it's great joy that he has. And if we can

00:33:02.839 --> 00:33:07.420
just even think about the fact that God has joy

00:33:07.420 --> 00:33:12.359
from us. And so it's not just our joy that's

00:33:12.359 --> 00:33:15.819
possible. That we make him joyful. I mean, I

00:33:15.819 --> 00:33:20.740
know he can be that way, but that we are the

00:33:20.740 --> 00:33:24.759
cause of joy for him. That is awesome. And I

00:33:24.759 --> 00:33:30.400
just, I love that. Well, dear friend, I'm looking

00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:32.539
forward to someday meeting you face to face.

00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:36.359
I would love that. This is nice, but it's not

00:33:36.359 --> 00:33:39.240
like the real thing, you know? No, it's not quite

00:33:39.240 --> 00:33:41.880
the same. There's no hugs, for example. That's

00:33:41.880 --> 00:33:45.480
right. That's right. So, well, let me pray for

00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:49.000
you. Father, thanks for Jill, and thanks for

00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:52.480
the help she's given to all of those who listened

00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:57.059
to this little short time together, that there's

00:33:57.059 --> 00:34:00.619
joy available, and that we can make a choice,

00:34:00.700 --> 00:34:04.619
and we can look for an opportunity. We can thank

00:34:04.619 --> 00:34:09.280
God and have Him fill us with His joy, and we

00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:12.750
can Step out of what our comfort zone or our

00:34:12.750 --> 00:34:16.530
discomfort zone is and look for what you're going

00:34:16.530 --> 00:34:20.510
to do and believe that you're still there, you're

00:34:20.510 --> 00:34:24.170
still active, you're still accomplishing good

00:34:24.170 --> 00:34:28.829
purposes in every single one of us. And that

00:34:28.829 --> 00:34:33.190
we may have to not see all of the joy that's

00:34:33.190 --> 00:34:37.010
available, but you're there to give us some every

00:34:37.010 --> 00:34:41.300
day. And I pray that that would be true for Jill,

00:34:41.559 --> 00:34:44.579
but also for our listeners, Lord, that they would

00:34:44.579 --> 00:34:48.920
each day make the effort to look for the joy

00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:52.500
that you have for them. So thank you. Thank you

00:34:52.500 --> 00:34:57.239
in Jesus' name. And to my listeners, she talked

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about her book, No Matter What. And so we are

00:35:01.880 --> 00:35:05.719
going to offer three books. that we'll have a

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drawing for. So when you come to the show notes,

00:35:08.500 --> 00:35:10.960
which of course you will do, so you'll learn

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about resources and you can say, yes, I liked

00:35:14.300 --> 00:35:19.219
this podcast and you can even subscribe. But

00:35:19.219 --> 00:35:22.519
most of all, you can say, yes, I'd love to be

00:35:22.519 --> 00:35:26.239
in the drawing for those books and that you would

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really meet every person with some new joy today.

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Blessings to you.