Living-loving like Jesus: Forgiveness, episode 135

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,760
If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here

2
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:13,800
at When You Love a Prodigal and also help and hope for your own life journey.

3
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:19,040
So how did you do in exercising patience this past week?

4
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:27,240
If patience was a challenge, today's clothing choice may be even more challenging.

5
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:32,800
So be sure to jot down the things you want to put into practice.

6
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:38,720
It was just a little thing. My friend forgot we had a brunch appointment.

7
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,560
Please forgive me, Judy. Of course, I forgave her.

8
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:48,240
And after all, I had just done the same thing to a friend just weeks before.

9
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:53,520
I totally forgot we were having breakfast together. And she forgave me.

10
00:00:53,520 --> 00:01:01,280
Forgiveness is not always so easy, though, is it, when the offense is bigger, more hurtful,

11
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:09,600
and even devastating. How do you say, I forgive you, to the scammer who stole your identity,

12
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:18,600
or to the man who raped your daughter, or like our adopted son, to the dad who never showed up,

13
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:23,720
and the mother who consistently chose her addictions?

14
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:29,720
Hard to forgive those kinds of things, isn't it? Does God really want us to?

15
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:37,720
How do you ask forgiveness, not just forgive someone, but ask forgiveness from a friend you have hurt,

16
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:45,720
from a stranger you harmed with your carelessness, for unkind words, yelled at a child?

17
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:57,720
God is clear. He said, we must forgive, and we must ask for forgiveness when we have harmed or hurt someone.

18
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:03,720
Forgiveness is an essential garment in our wardrobe as a child of God.

19
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:14,720
Surely Peter thought he was being very magnanimous in his suggesting to Jesus that he would forgive someone seven times.

20
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:23,720
But Jesus said, I tell you not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Infinite, really.

21
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:29,720
You don't stop forgiving, even if they've hurt you over and over.

22
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:36,720
And some of our protocols may need to be forgiven seventy-seven times or even more.

23
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:45,720
Paul tells us that an evidence of a forgiving heart is real love, which we're looking at more next week,

24
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:50,720
that keeps no record of being wronged.

25
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:58,720
Hmm. I actually have kept plenty of records like this story.

26
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:04,720
I did it again. Our prodigal and a friend were with us, my husband and me.

27
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:08,720
We were telling stories. One of my favorite activities.

28
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:18,720
I couldn't resist. I told not one, but two stories of bad choices our son had made in the past.

29
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:23,720
He did not laugh. He even looked hurt.

30
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:32,720
He was doing much better and didn't really want to be reminded of the choices he used to make.

31
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:36,720
And yet I was bringing them up to his friend.

32
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:44,720
I asked for his forgiveness, which he gave because we'd gotten pretty good at forgiving each other.

33
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:52,720
Several times I have had to apologize for bringing up his past choices.

34
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,720
Clearly, I have kept some record of wrongs.

35
00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:02,720
Of course, I am a writer and speaker and stories are my currency.

36
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:09,720
And there's great benefit in remembering the past and learning from it and moving into a better future.

37
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:23,720
But probably you have, as I have, let the ways those choices past or current have touched or hurt or offended or angered me, each of us.

38
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:35,720
And I have a bigger in our minds. I have a mental list and in some cases I have a written list of some of the offenses that our son did.

39
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:40,720
Some are minor irritations. Others are legitimate wrongs.

40
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:44,720
And some are deep wounds of the way that he is hurt.

41
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:55,720
And yet scripture says love doesn't hold on, doesn't keep a record of those offenses.

42
00:04:55,720 --> 00:05:01,720
Perhaps you remember when your loved one yelled and cursed at you.

43
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:08,720
When she lied to your face intentionally deceitful and not at all remorseful.

44
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:13,720
How frightened you were for your other children when he threatened you.

45
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:18,720
And you waited up all night not knowing where she was and what she was doing.

46
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,720
When you bailed him out of jail.

47
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:28,720
The night the police knocked on your door to tell you about the accident she was in.

48
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:36,720
On and on the list goes, you might be recounting some of those wrongs right now.

49
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:44,720
Then, oh yeah, there are the words that you have hurled at your loved one.

50
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:49,720
You always lie to me. You're never responsible.

51
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,720
Will I ever be able to trust you again?

52
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:57,720
You never care about anyone but yourself.

53
00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:02,720
If you do that again, don't bother to come home.

54
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:06,720
You know, you've probably said words like that.

55
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,720
I have.

56
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:16,720
These words, these thoughts reflect the reality of keeping a record of wrongs.

57
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:22,720
Our love protocols wrong themselves, others, and those who love them.

58
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:27,720
Sometimes those wrongs pile up and threaten to crush us.

59
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:33,720
How can we trust, believe, or hope? How can we forgive?

60
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:37,720
Because Jesus has shown us how.

61
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,720
He came in love and was rejected.

62
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,720
He healed and was accused instead of thanked.

63
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:51,720
He was scourged and crucified bearing our sins while the crowd hurled insults.

64
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:56,720
Soldiers beat him and the Pharisees smiled.

65
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,720
He could have called legions of angels.

66
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,720
He could have destroyed them on the spot.

67
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:07,720
He could have said, I'll be back and I'll get even.

68
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,720
But he didn't. He forgave them.

69
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,720
And that's what he asks us to do.

70
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:21,720
As we let the spirit fill us, I think we talked about the spirit filling us on each of these

71
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:26,720
things to enable us to choose to wear these pieces of clothing.

72
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:31,720
As we let the spirit fill us with the same love that Christ has,

73
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:39,720
we are freed from making our lists, from keeping a record of the ways that our protocols have wronged us.

74
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:44,720
And we are empowered to forgive and to truly love.

75
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:48,720
Jesus is our example.

76
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:55,720
It's not hard for me to be overwhelmed with wonder and gratitude at how Jesus has forgiven me.

77
00:07:55,720 --> 00:08:02,720
All my sin, my many sins, he took on himself because he loves me.

78
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:11,720
And as he hung on that cross, he looked out over the crowd, the scoffers, the executioners,

79
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:18,720
and you and me and our protocols, and he said these amazing words,

80
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:24,720
Father, forgive them. They do not know what they are doing.

81
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:32,720
Now, I could argue that they did indeed know what they were doing, but it was very intentional.

82
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:38,720
And I can easily forgive the mistakes, the forgetfulness, the unintentional hurts.

83
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:48,720
But when someone chooses to hurt or to harm or to speak maliciously or to steal or lie or abuse,

84
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:57,720
can we forgive? It's what Jesus says we are to do, forgive as he has forgiven us.

85
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:07,720
Paul tells us, if any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.

86
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:14,720
As the Lord forgave willingly in love and mercy, in the spirit,

87
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:20,720
as in all the impossible requests and requirements Jesus has given us,

88
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:30,720
and there really are many of them beyond our abilities to put on that cloth either to act in a way that Jesus has asked us to.

89
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,720
He did it first. Everything he asks of us, he's already done it.

90
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:40,720
He's demonstrated that it's possible not because we're good or because we're so strong,

91
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:48,720
but because he has sent his spirit to live in us and to give us like the mind of Christ

92
00:09:48,720 --> 00:10:00,720
and to do a transforming work in us that enables us to draw on the strength of Jesus to do what he's asked us to do.

93
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:08,720
And I have found when I forgive or ask forgiveness, which sometimes is harder,

94
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:17,720
at least two people get set free, the one who is forgiven and the one who forgives.

95
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:23,720
So what about you? Is there someone that you need to forgive?

96
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:31,720
Maybe you're prodigal, maybe someone else, but someone who has harmed you,

97
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:41,720
offended you, that you need to forgive, but maybe also you have hurt or harmed or offended someone,

98
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:46,720
and you need to ask them to forgive you.

99
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:52,720
Next week, we're going to get dressed up in love.

100
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,720
God bless you.