Strength for the Broken Hearted with Dena Yohe

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Welcome, welcome again to the When You Love a

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Prodigal podcast. My name is Judy Douglass, and

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we've been doing this podcast for more than five

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years now. And I know we've been a little sporadic

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lately, but you have all those others you can

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go back and listen to. But I have a very special

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guest, and if you've been listening for a long

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time, you've met her before. So if you love a

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prodigal, You can discover help and hope for

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your wilderness journey right here at the When

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You Love a Prodigal podcast. And also help and

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hope for your own life journey. Today, we're

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chatting with my good friend, Dena Yohe. She

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and I not only are friends, but we've collaborated

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a lot on ministering to people with prodigals

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because God has called both of us to that. And

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so we love and encourage each other as we go.

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And she and her husband, Tom, actually head up

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Hope for Hurting Parents. Now, I'm pretty sure

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there are a few hurting parents listening. because

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that's who would listen to this podcast anyway.

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But the number of hurting parents out there just

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has grown and grown and grown. And you think

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that as these kids get to be adults, they'll

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come to their senses. But in a lot of situations,

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that's not what's happening. And so Dina has

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done this wonderful thing. She has written. A

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second book or third book? Fourth. Whatever.

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She's written several books. And as soon as I

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said second, I knew that wasn't right. But anyway,

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this book is called Strength for the Brokenhearted.

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And if you qualify, you're going to get so much

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good from our conversation and from this book.

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It's a 31 -day devotional for hurting parents.

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And again, we know you're out there. We have

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both been there. And so we know what, in fact,

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we're not entirely out of there. So it's going

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to be a sweet time. So Dina Yohi, welcome to

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When You Love a Prodigal. Oh, thank you, Judy.

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I love being here with you. It's a pleasure and

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a privilege. Well, we're just going to not take

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up a lot of time chatting because we could. Yes,

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we could. We have plenty to chat about. But I'm

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going to just let Dina. tell us about five of

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the little devotionals in her 31 -day devotional.

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And, you know, we could go through all of them,

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but that would take a while. So she picked out

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five, and I love them because they're really

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where we are a lot of the time. And so I'm going

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to let you tell me first how this came about.

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How did the book happen, the devotional? Well,

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Judy, as part of our ministry with Hope for Hurting

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Parents for a number of years, maybe 15, I've

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been sending emails to parents that I meet. Some

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are in our support groups. Some I've met at conferences.

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And they're just words of encouragement and hope.

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And as the time has gone by, parents would reach

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out to me and say, would you put these in a book?

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Because I'm saving them, and they're so good.

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I kept hearing that, and so a couple years ago,

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I thought, okay, Lord, if this is what you want

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me to do, I'll start to work on that. So this

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is basically a compilation of some of my favorites.

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I just went back over what I'd written and pulled

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out some of the ones I thought really spoke to

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parents' hearts. And, you know, it all came out

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from our own personal experience, what I went

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through, much like you, with one of my children.

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who qualifies me to speak to this audience. And

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like you said, something I would never have sought

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to do on my own. But because of what we went

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through with her, with self -injury and mental

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health diagnoses, alcohol and so on, God brought

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me to this place after he healed me and worked

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in my own life to want to help others. So it

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all comes out from that. And I bet the healing

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and helping in your life hasn't stopped. No.

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We're always in process. We are always in process.

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And, you know, there are lots of ways that we

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have to learn some things about trusting God

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and that he's in control. And we wouldn't have

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chosen this way. However, there are worse ways.

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So I've been grateful for the things I've learned

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on my journey. so grateful to be able to encourage

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others as well. And so we're going to look first

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at a chapter, day four, in this devotional called

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Healing Painful Memories. So seriously, the memories

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are painful? What's more unbelievable to me is

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that they can actually be healed. I mean, like,

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well, As I was writing this, you know, I went

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into the meaning of the name of Joseph from the

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Bible, who went through horrible things. One

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of my favorite characters. Oh, yes. What an amazing

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man, right? Yes. To go through all that he did,

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the injustices and the treatment and the betrayal

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and so on. And even learn not to be so proud.

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Yes. He had to learn that, didn't he? That he

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would name his first child something that meant

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to forget. And we say, that's not possible. There's

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things that we wish we could forget, but we can't,

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right? So yes, as I was writing this based on

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that passage where it says in Genesis 41, 51,

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God has made me forget all my trouble and all

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my father's household, where you just shake your

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head. And I began to delve into, okay, so what

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does this really mean? And it occurred to me

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that, okay, we don't really forget. There's things

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I'm sure you wish you could forget. But as we

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heal and we give all the pain to God, the memories

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slowly fade. They don't inflict the same pain

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as they did. Right. We never forget the pain,

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just like with childbirth, but it's not what

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it was. So I said perhaps forgetting is a choice,

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a spiritual practice, and it can only come from

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developing resilience. And that's a whole topic

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that we go over in our support groups regularly,

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this quality of character. So yeah, I think it's

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more of letting go of the need to get even, being

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able to forgive. I wrote in here, we make peace

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with the pain. The soul -crushing memories fade

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when we give them to God. The weight of the losses

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isn't as heavy on our hearts. So God healed Joseph's

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heart and mind. It was all him. It was all his

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work. Yeah, it's not something we can make happen,

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but the things that we still recall that we wish

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we could forget, they don't inflict the same

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damage to us as he works in us. It's all about

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working on us. Yeah, that's one of the things

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we get to learn. It's not just about our loved

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ones. It is about us as well. And so we have

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a double place of forgiveness, then, that we

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get to forgive, therefore, and forget. Not entirely,

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as you say. It's there. Even there, it's necessary

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because it reminds us of what work God has done

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in the life of our loved one, we hope. Yes. But

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also in our lives. And when I think about my

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journey, which has been very long, it's like

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I can hardly imagine who I would be if I did

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not have this journey to learn to trust God,

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to learn his forgiveness, to be able to maybe

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not forget, forget. but have these reminders

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of his grace. Yes. And I actually almost missed

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my turn off coming here because I was talking

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to the Lord about our time and just was like,

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oh, wait, I have to get off here. So he's so

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faithful to take immediate things in our lives

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and help us to. Learn to trust him more. Yes.

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But he takes the things from the past that are

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no longer great pain but aren't gone. Yes. Here's

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an example. Then we'll move on to the second

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one. So I shattered my shoulder six months ago

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and my humerus bone. And so they're healing very

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well. But it's taking a lot longer than I would

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have thought. And when I look at, you know, the

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pain, that's not the fun part. I've got a whole

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lot of new friends at the PT place. And that's

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been a blessing. And then I also have gotten

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to be with people. At first, I couldn't do anything

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for myself. And so people had to come and be

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with me. For at least the first two months, I

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had to have somebody. And it's the blessing of

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time with my kids, time with my sisters, time

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with some friends. So God takes those hard times.

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And if we forgot them entirely, we might forget

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the blessings. And so there's the fact that we

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learn something and it's faded away from being

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right there. But it's still real. And it's still

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there to be a blessing to us even. Yes. So that's

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been a kind of long journey for you. Will you

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want to tell us any more about the journey? Sure,

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I can do that. So our journey started when our

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daughter was 12 and she cut herself for the first

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time. And we were mortified. I didn't know what

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it meant. This was over 25 years ago. What eventually

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we discovered was she also had a sensory processing

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disorder, which made her very sensitive to all

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external stimulus, which made her just difficult.

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And we thought, oh, you're just being stubborn

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and difficult. We didn't realize there was actual

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reason, deeper reason. And so eventually, later

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in her teens, she self -medicated, mostly with

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alcohol. But the cutting was a big part of that,

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which had her hospitalized. numerous times for

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severe cutting, eventually several treatment

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programs for the alcohol, being on the streets,

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being taken advantage of sexually, which is another

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whole trauma. We are very grateful today that

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after a long, long journey, our daughter's doing

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very well managing her challenges that she does

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have with anxiety and some things like that.

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But she is a single mom. and is 100 % devoted

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to her little guy who is an amazing, amazing

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boy. They live with us, which has its challenges,

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but plenty of joys. And we just marvel at God's

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transformation in her life. She's one of the

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ones that when she got pregnant and we thought

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this is the worst thing that could happen, what

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now God used it to transform her even more than

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he already had been from being a very... A person

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that was struggling so much with life and with

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accepting herself and having continuous suicidal

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thoughts to being full of life and saying, if

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I only knew now what I knew then, that if you

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just sit in feelings, they will pass. So that's

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been the journey. And we're just grateful for

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where we are. And everything's perfect now. Oh,

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no. We all still have our challenges. We've learned

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to just be honest with each other, and we've

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learned to each forgive one another. None of

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us, we weren't the perfect parents. There is

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no such thing, except for God. Not the perfect

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parent. So we made plenty of mistakes, but we

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each give each other so much grace, and we're

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just in a really good place today. But yes, not

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perfect, but growing. But growing. That's so

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wonderful. So awesome. So I personally love God's

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surprises most of the time. I like the good surprises.

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And he's had for us all through my life. Thank

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you, Lord. And that came naturally. But then

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there were the surprises that were challenging.

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And there were some growing up, you know. But

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most of them came when we adopted. A 10 -year

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-old boy who came from a lot of abandonment,

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abuse, just very traumatic things in his life.

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He had good things. He had wonderful grandparents

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who were taking care of him. Could not anymore.

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But, you know, you just, okay, so this was a

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challenging surprise. And one of your chapters

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is about surprises, God's surprises. So talk

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about that. Well, as I was sharing the story,

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the journey with our daughter, there were plenty

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of surprises that day she cut herself. How could

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this happen to my child? Just her life going

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off the rails, getting a mental health diagnosis,

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her moving out before she was 18 and had graduated

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from high school. It was all just such a shock.

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We never were prepared or would have dreamed

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any of that could happen. Those were some of

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the terrible surprises. Well, and of course,

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then getting pregnant. But the good surprises

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of just God's goodness was how out of her story,

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going nationwide and actually worldwide, which

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was a phenomenon. Yes, well, just from it going

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online before the days of Facebook. And then

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as a result of a group of people from our church

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wanting to help her and give her hope and keep

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her safe. Such a beautiful gift they gave. Yes,

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yes. It's still a marvel. It was all God. how

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a nonprofit called 211 On Her Arms came into

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existence, celebrating the 20 -year anniversary

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of that this month, actually. And then a movie

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was made several years later. Renee published

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a book. And as a result of us finding healing

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for ourselves, starting our own ministry, and

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then each of us, my husband and I, writing books

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and starting support groups and writing material

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for that, all of that, those were such surprises.

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The way God showed up all along the way, being

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faithful, giving us strength, courage, wisdom,

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guidance, bringing people into our lives like

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you, a retreat for hurting parents that just

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gave us so much hope and courage, and to just

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know that we weren't alone. So those are some

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of the surprises I've had, and I'm sure you've

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had many yourself. Yeah, I have, but I've talked

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enough about me. We're going to stick to your

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things. But the surprise is what I have found,

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is learning to look for the good. Because sometimes

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they hit you in the face, and you're overwhelmed,

00:16:46.840 --> 00:16:48.899
you're devastated, you don't know what to do.

00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:52.259
You think, how can this be? How can this be happening?

00:16:53.039 --> 00:16:58.460
And yet God does miracles. with those surprises.

00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:03.059
And they're sometimes in the life of our person

00:17:03.059 --> 00:17:07.940
we love, but they're also in the lives of us.

00:17:08.579 --> 00:17:13.839
And I know my husband would tell you the good

00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:16.940
things that came. I'll tell you one. He used

00:17:16.940 --> 00:17:20.539
to look at our son Josh and say, he might be

00:17:20.539 --> 00:17:23.619
the most creative work avoider I've ever seen.

00:17:24.519 --> 00:17:27.619
Now, my husband's heart was a herd worker. And

00:17:27.619 --> 00:17:32.200
so that was a real not wonderful comment to make

00:17:32.200 --> 00:17:37.700
about him, our son. But in the later years, when

00:17:37.700 --> 00:17:43.440
we started to see change, he said, I think he

00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:45.579
might be one of the hardest working people I've

00:17:45.579 --> 00:17:49.460
ever seen. Did that happen overnight? No. Was

00:17:49.460 --> 00:17:53.730
that a gift from God? Absolutely. Someone who

00:17:53.730 --> 00:17:56.970
let his friends do the work on his car or anything

00:17:56.970 --> 00:18:00.029
where he didn't, he'd find a way not to, to be

00:18:00.029 --> 00:18:03.990
able to do it. And so God takes hard surprises

00:18:03.990 --> 00:18:09.269
and even brings good from them. And so I, that's

00:18:09.269 --> 00:18:13.490
beautiful. Now your next chapter that we're going

00:18:13.490 --> 00:18:19.940
to look at is one of my favorites. The words,

00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:24.380
but God. Now, how is that said? Is it, but God?

00:18:25.099 --> 00:18:32.259
Or is it, but God? It's both. Yes. Well, they're

00:18:32.259 --> 00:18:34.299
two of my favorite words in the Bible, too. And

00:18:34.299 --> 00:18:37.460
actually, I was going to write a book on it,

00:18:37.500 --> 00:18:40.059
but I found out there's plenty out there already.

00:18:40.460 --> 00:18:42.980
But yes, just, you know, when you pour over the

00:18:42.980 --> 00:18:45.759
scriptures over and over and over, you'll find,

00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:49.410
but God, where that changed. Everything. Those

00:18:49.410 --> 00:18:52.089
two words. Things were looking this way, but

00:18:52.089 --> 00:18:53.809
God shows up. Like with our daughter, things

00:18:53.809 --> 00:18:55.670
were looking really bad. Is she going to even

00:18:55.670 --> 00:18:58.910
survive? But God shows up and brings people along

00:18:58.910 --> 00:19:02.690
who care to step in and help her. Oh, so many

00:19:02.690 --> 00:19:06.109
times. And with us, too. And I wrote in the book

00:19:06.109 --> 00:19:08.930
here, during those dark years, God remained silent

00:19:08.930 --> 00:19:11.769
about the future. And all consuming addiction

00:19:11.769 --> 00:19:14.509
to substances, compounded by the complication

00:19:14.509 --> 00:19:16.569
of mental illness and self -injury, threatened

00:19:16.569 --> 00:19:18.880
our daughter's life daily. Would she survive?

00:19:19.019 --> 00:19:23.140
I had no idea. God gave no assurance. I had no

00:19:23.140 --> 00:19:26.000
guarantee of a happy ending. This might be where

00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:29.720
you are today, living in a nightmare. But God.

00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:34.579
But God shows up. And we don't know how he will

00:19:34.579 --> 00:19:36.900
answer our prayers. It might not be the way we

00:19:36.900 --> 00:19:41.140
want. And sadly, I hate to say this, but they

00:19:41.140 --> 00:19:43.839
might not be answered the way we want in our

00:19:43.839 --> 00:19:47.460
lifetime. They're not. the way we would have

00:19:47.460 --> 00:19:51.259
done it. But as Anne Graham Lott says, our prayers

00:19:51.259 --> 00:19:55.400
outlive us. And that gives me so much hope. But,

00:19:55.539 --> 00:19:58.900
you know, we began to say, where are my answered

00:19:58.900 --> 00:20:00.980
prayers, God? If you're so powerful, what are

00:20:00.980 --> 00:20:03.519
you waiting for? Don't you realize this is urgent?

00:20:03.660 --> 00:20:06.859
Please do something and hurry. We often wonder

00:20:06.859 --> 00:20:09.500
where he is when we don't see him showing up.

00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:13.500
But as my pastor says, when we work, we work.

00:20:13.559 --> 00:20:16.509
But when we pray, God works. And I love that.

00:20:17.309 --> 00:20:20.930
So we had to remember that even though we can't

00:20:20.930 --> 00:20:23.970
see what's happening, God's doing something.

00:20:24.009 --> 00:20:26.170
And Judy, you're so good to remind us of this

00:20:26.170 --> 00:20:29.329
over and over. God doesn't forget. He doesn't

00:20:29.329 --> 00:20:32.890
forget us. He does hear our prayers. And it all

00:20:32.890 --> 00:20:35.829
gets back to trust over and over again, doesn't

00:20:35.829 --> 00:20:39.869
it? I wrote here in this devotional, during times

00:20:39.869 --> 00:20:43.509
of adversity, I learned to rely more on my Heavenly

00:20:43.509 --> 00:20:46.470
Father. And that's so true, isn't it? So true.

00:20:46.710 --> 00:20:50.730
We know. We know. We can't do it. We can't control

00:20:50.730 --> 00:20:53.589
them. We can't fix it. We can't make it better.

00:20:54.109 --> 00:20:57.769
But we can trust God. And I say here, close your

00:20:57.769 --> 00:21:00.750
eyes for a few moments. Take a few slow, deep

00:21:00.750 --> 00:21:02.930
breaths. And that's good to do right now, wherever

00:21:02.930 --> 00:21:07.710
you are. Just deep breath in and out. Just let

00:21:07.710 --> 00:21:10.390
your muscles relax. Try not to be in a hurry.

00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:14.240
And imagine what your life would look like if

00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:18.700
you stopped doubting and trusted God more. One

00:21:18.700 --> 00:21:20.859
of the things you do is you have a prayer at

00:21:20.859 --> 00:21:23.460
the end of each of your devotionals. Why don't

00:21:23.460 --> 00:21:26.279
you read that prayer from that one for us? And

00:21:26.279 --> 00:21:28.519
right before that, some of the buts that you

00:21:28.519 --> 00:21:31.579
might be struggling with that you can counteract

00:21:31.579 --> 00:21:34.220
with truth. And here are some of the true statements.

00:21:34.859 --> 00:21:38.380
Okay, so your child's plight may appear bleak.

00:21:38.829 --> 00:21:43.650
But God has a plan. But God is faithful. But

00:21:43.650 --> 00:21:47.369
God hasn't changed. But God still loves you and

00:21:47.369 --> 00:21:50.930
your child. But God is worthy of your confident

00:21:50.930 --> 00:21:54.650
trust. But God continues to be the victorious

00:21:54.650 --> 00:21:59.769
king who brings salvation. But God. And now the

00:21:59.769 --> 00:22:03.829
prayer. King Jesus, help me resist the urge to

00:22:03.829 --> 00:22:07.309
turn away when I'm in agony over my beloved child.

00:22:32.629 --> 00:22:39.019
Amen. Amen. Amen. One thing that helped me many

00:22:39.019 --> 00:22:44.079
times was to remember that as much as I loved

00:22:44.079 --> 00:22:49.059
our son, God loved him more and made him and

00:22:49.059 --> 00:22:51.700
knew the hardships that he was going to have.

00:22:51.880 --> 00:23:00.079
Or in Renee's situation, whatever it was. Her

00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:03.240
sensory processing disorder? Yes, sensory processing.

00:23:03.299 --> 00:23:08.380
That's what it was. You know, we don't understand

00:23:08.380 --> 00:23:11.500
that, but God does. And we can't change it, but

00:23:11.500 --> 00:23:16.720
he can work with it. And too often, I think we

00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:22.500
think we have to change them. And that may not

00:23:22.500 --> 00:23:27.039
be God's plan at all, because what is true of

00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:32.180
them, how they process, but also what they've

00:23:32.180 --> 00:23:36.839
been through. Those are things God will use later

00:23:36.839 --> 00:23:43.019
in their lives. And so we just want it all clean

00:23:43.019 --> 00:23:47.880
and nice and clean and easy and happy. And it's

00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:50.579
not. Well, yes, it's so hard. And we're always

00:23:50.579 --> 00:23:54.339
looking to relieve the pain and end it all. But

00:23:54.339 --> 00:23:56.880
we forget, like you've already mentioned, that

00:23:56.880 --> 00:24:00.140
it's really more about what God is doing in us.

00:24:00.990 --> 00:24:03.769
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the big, big

00:24:03.769 --> 00:24:07.910
surprise of all, right? It is. And to our listeners,

00:24:08.069 --> 00:24:11.589
I would say, don't forget that. Yeah. It's so

00:24:11.589 --> 00:24:16.549
easy to so focus on where a beloved person in

00:24:16.549 --> 00:24:20.069
our life is and the pain they're experiencing

00:24:20.069 --> 00:24:23.369
and the pain they're causing and all of that.

00:24:23.470 --> 00:24:27.710
But my goodness, God is always working. I love

00:24:27.710 --> 00:24:33.519
that song. He's working. You may think he isn't,

00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:38.700
but he is. But he's also working on us. And,

00:24:38.819 --> 00:24:44.759
you know, we're grown and mature, and we understand

00:24:44.759 --> 00:24:50.119
how to walk with God, and we still have things

00:24:50.119 --> 00:24:53.559
to learn. Yes. And one of the things God keeps

00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:57.640
teaching me is in the hard things. In the challenges,

00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:01.720
look for the good that I'm doing. So are you

00:25:01.720 --> 00:25:03.880
looking up something else you wanted to say there?

00:25:04.180 --> 00:25:07.880
Well, there is a part here because when we're

00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:10.740
wondering where he is and we feel like he doesn't

00:25:10.740 --> 00:25:14.019
see our suffering or our pain, we forget that

00:25:14.019 --> 00:25:16.940
he hurts with us, right along with us. He's weeping

00:25:16.940 --> 00:25:22.559
with us. He's aware of our distress. And I wrote

00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:25.140
here, sometimes in our trials, he appears absent.

00:25:25.789 --> 00:25:28.190
That's when we need to walk by faith even more,

00:25:28.269 --> 00:25:31.710
not by sight. During seasons of suffering, our

00:25:31.710 --> 00:25:34.109
Heavenly Father desires to bring us to maturity.

00:25:34.470 --> 00:25:37.069
Could it be that our faith roots need to grow

00:25:37.069 --> 00:25:40.289
deeper? Is it possible that our eyes need to

00:25:40.289 --> 00:25:43.269
be opened wider to see that our child has become

00:25:43.269 --> 00:25:47.029
an idol? By God, only He can reveal these things.

00:25:48.210 --> 00:25:51.529
That's a whole big category, that our child becomes

00:25:51.529 --> 00:25:56.329
an idol. We have actually talked about it on

00:25:56.329 --> 00:26:01.009
this podcast before. Yes. And we have to have

00:26:01.009 --> 00:26:05.109
open hands. So another one of your sections.

00:26:05.809 --> 00:26:09.069
I love these are just nice little devotionals.

00:26:09.190 --> 00:26:13.089
Not too long. Right. They're perfect on waiting

00:26:13.089 --> 00:26:17.029
well. And I don't know about you, but waiting

00:26:17.029 --> 00:26:21.029
is not my favorite thing. And most of us really

00:26:21.029 --> 00:26:24.769
don't like waiting in general. Right. We're ready

00:26:24.769 --> 00:26:27.930
to do it. We want it to happen. And for sure,

00:26:27.930 --> 00:26:32.950
that's what we want for our kids. And because,

00:26:33.049 --> 00:26:37.529
as we've seen lately, more and more, it's not

00:26:37.529 --> 00:26:41.009
even just the teenage rebellion. It has gone

00:26:41.009 --> 00:26:45.109
very much into adult children who have walked

00:26:45.109 --> 00:26:47.769
away from what They might have been brought up

00:26:47.769 --> 00:26:50.769
to believe and to be a part of the church and

00:26:50.769 --> 00:26:54.109
to know the Lord. And they get to be adults and

00:26:54.109 --> 00:26:57.789
they just say, not for me anymore. Thank you.

00:26:57.789 --> 00:27:03.490
Bye. And if we resist that, what happens? They

00:27:03.490 --> 00:27:07.430
leave. I mean, they've already left home probably,

00:27:07.650 --> 00:27:11.289
but they leave relationship. Yes. And so the

00:27:11.289 --> 00:27:15.650
waiting well is learning how in that waiting,

00:27:17.399 --> 00:27:21.759
not to lose relationships. So talk about that.

00:27:22.279 --> 00:27:25.259
Well, the scripture I base this one on, I really

00:27:25.259 --> 00:27:28.480
love, wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart

00:27:28.480 --> 00:27:32.299
and wait for the Lord. And yeah, our lives are

00:27:32.299 --> 00:27:35.859
full of waiting. We wait for all kinds of things

00:27:35.859 --> 00:27:39.099
from when we're kids, we have to wait to be old

00:27:39.099 --> 00:27:41.720
enough to be allowed to drive a car or to become

00:27:41.720 --> 00:27:45.799
a teenager, so many things. And as adults. Waiting

00:27:45.799 --> 00:27:50.140
on line for an insurance company to take your

00:27:50.140 --> 00:27:53.180
call in a doctor's office, traffic lights and

00:27:53.180 --> 00:27:56.839
so on. And some of us... And to get pregnant

00:27:56.839 --> 00:28:00.819
and have a child. Yes, yes. And some of us are

00:28:00.819 --> 00:28:06.680
really bad waiters. We found that if we don't

00:28:06.680 --> 00:28:11.240
learn to wait well, we will be miserable. You

00:28:11.240 --> 00:28:13.920
know, we're just like, you can get so agitated.

00:28:14.359 --> 00:28:16.240
aggravated, let's just say when you're waiting

00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:19.140
for an hour in the doctor's office, for them

00:28:19.140 --> 00:28:22.640
to come into the room where you are sitting there,

00:28:22.759 --> 00:28:30.440
maybe in a thin paper cloth. Yes. We get to choose

00:28:30.440 --> 00:28:33.920
how we wait. If we'll wait with patience and

00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:38.500
confident trust in God, or if we'll wait with

00:28:38.500 --> 00:28:42.630
anger and resentment and bitterness. We talk

00:28:42.630 --> 00:28:45.250
about this in our support group meetings a lot

00:28:45.250 --> 00:28:49.069
because some of us will be waiting many years

00:28:49.069 --> 00:28:53.750
to see any glimmer of hope. And some of us have

00:28:53.750 --> 00:28:56.390
our hopes rise and then fall. And they go into

00:28:56.390 --> 00:28:59.150
a treatment program and they've got so many promises

00:28:59.150 --> 00:29:01.710
and they come out and they crash and burn immediately.

00:29:01.990 --> 00:29:05.509
Or they are finally released from jail or prison

00:29:05.509 --> 00:29:08.029
and they had so many good plans, but they just

00:29:08.029 --> 00:29:13.089
can't do it. So where does that leave us? So

00:29:13.089 --> 00:29:15.710
what are the consequences of not waiting well?

00:29:15.849 --> 00:29:19.650
Well, they can even affect our physical health,

00:29:19.750 --> 00:29:25.990
our blood pressure, our digestive system, your

00:29:25.990 --> 00:29:28.150
muscles are all tight, maybe frequent headaches,

00:29:28.349 --> 00:29:32.029
backaches. There's so many physical and in addition

00:29:32.029 --> 00:29:36.329
to emotional consequences. And I realized when

00:29:36.329 --> 00:29:39.269
I wrote this how true this is. When God puts

00:29:39.269 --> 00:29:43.210
us in positions to wait on him, he asks us to

00:29:43.210 --> 00:29:45.750
handle delays with patience and expectation.

00:29:46.230 --> 00:29:50.390
He wants us to trust his timing while we anticipate

00:29:50.390 --> 00:29:53.910
his work in our children's lives. Waiting gives

00:29:53.910 --> 00:29:56.609
us opportunities to develop the character quality

00:29:56.609 --> 00:30:00.369
of patience. Then patience does the good work

00:30:00.369 --> 00:30:03.250
of reminding us who is ultimately in charge.

00:30:03.910 --> 00:30:09.470
God is not us. You know, we tend to, again, my

00:30:09.470 --> 00:30:13.410
pastor, he's a very wise man. He says, we tend

00:30:13.410 --> 00:30:16.869
to gaze at our problems. So with us, it would

00:30:16.869 --> 00:30:19.710
be staring at everything our child's doing that's

00:30:19.710 --> 00:30:21.970
wrong or that they're not doing and just glance

00:30:21.970 --> 00:30:24.730
at God. We need to flip that around and we need

00:30:24.730 --> 00:30:27.829
to gaze at God more, focus on him and his word,

00:30:27.910 --> 00:30:31.910
and just glance at all the other stuff. That

00:30:31.910 --> 00:30:35.190
is a big challenge for us to do, to focus more

00:30:35.190 --> 00:30:39.109
on who God is and what he can do to help us while

00:30:39.109 --> 00:30:43.029
we pray with expectation and what he can do,

00:30:43.190 --> 00:30:46.109
but trust him for what actually unfolds. And

00:30:46.109 --> 00:30:49.690
boy, it's a difficult journey that doesn't happen

00:30:49.690 --> 00:30:53.769
quickly. It takes a long time. It takes a long

00:30:53.769 --> 00:30:59.190
time sometimes. You know, sometimes it was easy

00:30:59.190 --> 00:31:02.720
to... get a little jealous of people that walk

00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:06.380
through this rather quickly and think, how come

00:31:06.380 --> 00:31:12.819
it's so easy for them and so hard for me or us

00:31:12.819 --> 00:31:17.460
as a family? It affects the whole family. I have

00:31:17.460 --> 00:31:20.279
two daughters besides our son, and there were

00:31:20.279 --> 00:31:23.299
times they were like, why did you bring him into

00:31:23.299 --> 00:31:27.279
our family? There were other times they were

00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:30.380
passionately caring for him and compassionate

00:31:30.380 --> 00:31:34.119
about him. But there were plenty of times where

00:31:34.119 --> 00:31:37.400
he was inconvenient. And all three of them liked

00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:40.759
to tell on each other. Because they were like

00:31:40.759 --> 00:31:44.140
in two years, basically, all three of them. Because

00:31:44.140 --> 00:31:46.579
he came in just a few months younger than my

00:31:46.579 --> 00:31:50.180
younger daughter. And so I would have three kids

00:31:50.180 --> 00:31:56.279
who were 15, 16. And I survived. Pretty good.

00:31:56.500 --> 00:32:00.660
And he loves to say about his sisters, well,

00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:02.980
they're not as good as you think they are. And

00:32:02.980 --> 00:32:07.019
I said, well, you know, I'm not disagreeing.

00:32:07.019 --> 00:32:10.059
They are not as good as I would like, but there's

00:32:10.059 --> 00:32:13.299
no comparison here. No, and we can't compare

00:32:13.299 --> 00:32:15.160
ourselves to those other parents too, right?

00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:20.359
That robs us of any joy. Well, I have seven tips

00:32:20.359 --> 00:32:22.839
here, and this does come from our support group

00:32:22.839 --> 00:32:27.480
material that help us to wait well. And the first

00:32:27.480 --> 00:32:30.839
one is to be more focused on God, to fill our

00:32:30.839 --> 00:32:34.779
mind with the promises. Because I got tired of

00:32:34.779 --> 00:32:37.220
people saying, Dina, don't worry. Everything's

00:32:37.220 --> 00:32:39.559
going to be fine. She's going to be fine. Nothing's

00:32:39.559 --> 00:32:41.440
going to happen. Not necessarily. Exactly. They

00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:43.539
can't promise us that. And that would just make

00:32:43.539 --> 00:32:47.109
me so angry. Because I know when it hasn't. come

00:32:47.109 --> 00:32:50.069
out that way. Yes. So I got to the point where

00:32:50.069 --> 00:32:53.869
I finally said, I have to know, what can I stand

00:32:53.869 --> 00:32:57.490
on? What can I know that I know that this is

00:32:57.490 --> 00:33:00.230
something God's promised me, since it's not that

00:33:00.230 --> 00:33:02.769
she would be okay? Listen well, she's going to

00:33:02.769 --> 00:33:06.750
go over these. This is going to help you. And

00:33:06.750 --> 00:33:09.609
what he showed me was I needed to look in the

00:33:09.609 --> 00:33:13.160
scriptures, take out that Bible. and read and

00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:16.759
look for those guarantees. Where were those promises?

00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:20.099
And that filled my mind with that. And I started

00:33:20.099 --> 00:33:24.359
to make a list. And I came up with 33 solid of

00:33:24.359 --> 00:33:27.119
my favorites that we actually put in the back

00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:29.339
of our support group material. And there are

00:33:29.339 --> 00:33:32.240
things like that our Jesus said, I'll be with

00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:35.640
you to the end of the age. God promised that

00:33:35.640 --> 00:33:38.200
he would never leave us, that he would be our

00:33:38.200 --> 00:33:40.740
peace, our strength, our hope, our comforter.

00:33:41.210 --> 00:33:44.109
So many precious and wonderful promises. And

00:33:44.109 --> 00:33:47.049
that's where I could put my feet down firmly

00:33:47.049 --> 00:33:51.210
on this unshakable ground. So that was number

00:33:51.210 --> 00:33:54.849
one. And number two was to give thanks. And oh,

00:33:54.869 --> 00:33:57.369
Judy, you're so good at reminding us all the

00:33:57.369 --> 00:34:01.269
time to be grateful in and for because of how

00:34:01.269 --> 00:34:04.569
just who God is, what he's already done, and

00:34:04.569 --> 00:34:07.250
what we know he can do. But keeping a gratitude

00:34:07.250 --> 00:34:11.190
journal. Boy, that helped me. And I didn't want

00:34:11.190 --> 00:34:13.489
to do it at first because I didn't think there

00:34:13.489 --> 00:34:16.510
was anything to be thankful for when you're in

00:34:16.510 --> 00:34:18.730
the thick of it. It was hard. All you can see

00:34:18.730 --> 00:34:22.289
is the bad. And so I've been doing that for a

00:34:22.289 --> 00:34:24.630
long time. And that, you know, one of the blessings

00:34:24.630 --> 00:34:29.110
of that is not only you pause to notice over

00:34:29.110 --> 00:34:33.150
the day, maybe that day or the day before, something

00:34:33.150 --> 00:34:36.429
good. And it could just be as simple as you heard

00:34:36.429 --> 00:34:39.170
a bird singing. Or you had a great cup of coffee,

00:34:39.230 --> 00:34:41.710
if you like coffee. Or some really good chocolate.

00:34:41.809 --> 00:34:45.909
I love chocolate. But when you do this over a

00:34:45.909 --> 00:34:49.349
period of time, something shifts in you. And

00:34:49.349 --> 00:34:51.170
I didn't realize this was going to be an important

00:34:51.170 --> 00:34:54.349
part of my own personal healing journey was gratitude,

00:34:54.710 --> 00:34:58.610
focusing, being a person of gratitude. But over

00:34:58.610 --> 00:35:01.250
time then, when you're having a bad day, you

00:35:01.250 --> 00:35:04.130
can flip back in your journal to a year ago or

00:35:04.130 --> 00:35:07.190
several months. And remember, oh, yeah, that

00:35:07.190 --> 00:35:09.989
was really neat that day. Oh, yes, this happened.

00:35:10.030 --> 00:35:13.349
God did that. And it can boost your confidence

00:35:13.349 --> 00:35:16.230
and just your faith. Oh, yes, God's doing all

00:35:16.230 --> 00:35:20.469
kinds of little and big things for me. The third

00:35:20.469 --> 00:35:23.329
thing is to continue to live your life. And this

00:35:23.329 --> 00:35:26.329
was, wow, because we... Because they can just

00:35:26.329 --> 00:35:29.070
cut it off. Yes, you just stall, you stop, you're

00:35:29.070 --> 00:35:31.710
paralyzed. You don't want to get out of bed even.

00:35:32.289 --> 00:35:36.210
But we still have a life to live. And God still

00:35:36.210 --> 00:35:39.369
has plans for us. And so we need to continue

00:35:39.369 --> 00:35:44.070
to just do the next thing, live our life, ask

00:35:44.070 --> 00:35:47.469
God what he wants us to be doing, and seek to

00:35:47.469 --> 00:35:51.889
help others. As we go about, who else? There's

00:35:51.889 --> 00:35:55.329
always somebody out there who could use an encouraging

00:35:55.329 --> 00:36:00.849
word, a small, simple gift, a note in the mail,

00:36:00.929 --> 00:36:05.139
an email. So continuing to live our own lives

00:36:05.139 --> 00:36:07.539
and looking for ways to help others, that was

00:36:07.539 --> 00:36:11.380
big. The next one is to stay in the present,

00:36:11.500 --> 00:36:14.500
to not be obsessed with the past, regretting

00:36:14.500 --> 00:36:17.460
it, feeling guilty, all of the what -ifs and

00:36:17.460 --> 00:36:21.420
the if -onlys, I should -haves, and not dreading

00:36:21.420 --> 00:36:24.219
the future either because we don't have control

00:36:24.219 --> 00:36:27.780
over that. So to stay in recovery circles, they

00:36:27.780 --> 00:36:32.190
say, keep your mind where your body is. Oh, that's

00:36:32.190 --> 00:36:34.929
good. Keep your mind where the body is. To stay

00:36:34.929 --> 00:36:38.369
present, because if you run in the future or

00:36:38.369 --> 00:36:41.070
the past, that's where we get into trouble with

00:36:41.070 --> 00:36:44.949
worry and fear and regrets. The next one is to

00:36:44.949 --> 00:36:48.889
gain wisdom from others, like you, Judy. And

00:36:48.889 --> 00:36:52.449
I from many others. Yes, yes. People from you.

00:36:52.630 --> 00:36:55.869
It's others that we gleaned from, right? So it

00:36:55.869 --> 00:36:59.409
could be from someone like us, another parent

00:36:59.409 --> 00:37:01.769
going through something similar. It could be

00:37:01.769 --> 00:37:06.289
from a therapist, a counselor, someone on staff

00:37:06.289 --> 00:37:09.610
at your church. It could be from joining a support

00:37:09.610 --> 00:37:12.889
group like one of ours. And on our website, which

00:37:12.889 --> 00:37:18.010
is hopeforherdingparents .com, we have a list

00:37:18.010 --> 00:37:22.250
of all kinds of resources. But there are different

00:37:22.250 --> 00:37:25.409
kinds of support groups out there, and now many

00:37:25.409 --> 00:37:28.050
of them meet online. And we offer in -person

00:37:28.050 --> 00:37:31.619
and online groups. And they are wonderful. Just

00:37:31.619 --> 00:37:33.920
being with other people, going through something

00:37:33.920 --> 00:37:36.760
similar doesn't have to be the same thing. Pain

00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:40.199
is pain. And it's comforting to be with others

00:37:40.199 --> 00:37:43.900
that are also going through that because we just

00:37:43.900 --> 00:37:46.619
gain from each other, each other's experiences

00:37:46.619 --> 00:37:49.960
and offer comfort to one another. And it's a

00:37:49.960 --> 00:37:53.380
beautiful thing. So gaining wisdom from others

00:37:53.380 --> 00:37:57.059
and books, you know, just read. And now the Internet,

00:37:57.239 --> 00:37:59.780
you can learn whatever you want about. Any topic.

00:37:59.980 --> 00:38:02.280
Yes, you can. More than you want to know. And

00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:05.059
amazingly, people have been much more willing

00:38:05.059 --> 00:38:08.219
to talk about this. Yes. The struggles that they're

00:38:08.219 --> 00:38:11.039
going through than they used to be. It's like

00:38:11.039 --> 00:38:14.619
you hid it. It was like you were a failure. Yes.

00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:18.480
Oh, yes. So, yeah, it's out there. And thank

00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:22.000
you, Lord, for all that help. Yes, it's wonderful.

00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:25.699
For mental illness, there are courses you can

00:38:25.699 --> 00:38:28.840
take online that are wonderful. To help you understand,

00:38:29.260 --> 00:38:32.780
podcasts for parents who are estranged from their

00:38:32.780 --> 00:38:35.360
children, which estrangement, as we both know,

00:38:35.420 --> 00:38:40.079
has become a huge issue everywhere. A very sad

00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:43.440
issue. So heartbreaking. Yes. And then the last

00:38:43.440 --> 00:38:47.519
tip is to remember God's goodness and loving

00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:49.559
kindness. And I know that's something else that

00:38:49.559 --> 00:38:52.559
you love to talk about. That no matter what,

00:38:52.780 --> 00:38:57.119
even if the worst, our worst fear happens. we

00:38:57.119 --> 00:39:02.579
can still say that God is good and he is loving

00:39:02.579 --> 00:39:07.719
and he's in control. And he loves our children

00:39:07.719 --> 00:39:10.380
with a perfect, unconditional love that will

00:39:10.380 --> 00:39:15.639
never end. So I want to go to this last one because

00:39:15.639 --> 00:39:19.199
it's not the last in the book. There's a whole

00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:21.659
lot more. There's 31, but we don't have time

00:39:21.659 --> 00:39:26.079
to do them all. But this is what if, even if.

00:39:26.929 --> 00:39:31.030
Now, we ask the what if question often. What

00:39:31.030 --> 00:39:33.789
if this happens? What if they don't do this?

00:39:33.889 --> 00:39:37.469
What if they go to jail? What if they get raped?

00:39:38.289 --> 00:39:42.809
We're just asking the what ifs. And it's okay

00:39:42.809 --> 00:39:47.250
to ask. We can think those things. We can ask.

00:39:47.409 --> 00:39:49.670
The only one who has answers is God, usually.

00:39:49.909 --> 00:39:54.980
But then to come to even if. So I loved what

00:39:54.980 --> 00:39:58.079
you had to say here. Well, yes, because one of

00:39:58.079 --> 00:40:02.280
the biggest problems we struggle with and the

00:40:02.280 --> 00:40:05.019
hurting parents that we talk with struggle with

00:40:05.019 --> 00:40:08.659
is fear. Yep, lots of fear. Yes, that's all those

00:40:08.659 --> 00:40:13.440
what -ifs. And they just make us just a mess,

00:40:13.780 --> 00:40:18.480
rob us of sleep, joy, our health. Some of my

00:40:18.480 --> 00:40:21.079
what -ifs I wrote about in my first book, You

00:40:21.079 --> 00:40:23.869
Are Not Alone. And Judy just mentioned a few

00:40:23.869 --> 00:40:28.650
of them. And the list is endless, right, of all

00:40:28.650 --> 00:40:30.969
the things that could happen. I remember us talking

00:40:30.969 --> 00:40:34.150
about that. Yes. Yeah, what if they end up hospitalized?

00:40:34.309 --> 00:40:37.469
What if they end up in jail or in prison? What

00:40:37.469 --> 00:40:41.690
if they get AIDS? What if they marry their same

00:40:41.690 --> 00:40:44.530
-sex partner? What if they never accept help?

00:40:44.750 --> 00:40:47.409
What if they disappear and we never hear from

00:40:47.409 --> 00:40:51.119
them again? So many what -ifs. And so I began

00:40:51.119 --> 00:40:53.300
to look at the scriptures, and the Lord led me

00:40:53.300 --> 00:40:57.079
to that wonderful story in the book of Daniel

00:40:57.079 --> 00:40:59.480
about those three men that got thrown into the

00:40:59.480 --> 00:41:03.719
fiery furnace. And wow, the faith they had and

00:41:03.719 --> 00:41:07.900
their powerful statement that they knew God could

00:41:07.900 --> 00:41:11.639
rescue them. And they said that God we serve

00:41:11.639 --> 00:41:15.539
is able to save us, and he will. Of course, they

00:41:15.539 --> 00:41:18.110
didn't know how or when. And then they say, but

00:41:18.110 --> 00:41:22.489
even if he does not, we want you to know, O King,

00:41:22.590 --> 00:41:24.730
that we will not serve your gods or worship the

00:41:24.730 --> 00:41:27.449
image of gold you've set up. That's the kind

00:41:27.449 --> 00:41:30.150
of people we want to be. And so, yes, how do

00:41:30.150 --> 00:41:33.170
we make that shift from being a what -if person

00:41:33.170 --> 00:41:35.969
who's just controlled and concerned with fear

00:41:35.969 --> 00:41:40.889
and doubt and worry to being an even -if person?

00:41:41.829 --> 00:41:44.829
And I love thinking of some of the other people

00:41:44.829 --> 00:41:50.050
in the scriptures who, Who did this? Paul. And

00:41:50.050 --> 00:41:52.849
there are just so many. There are so many. Yes.

00:41:53.190 --> 00:41:57.690
So, you know, again, we know that he could end

00:41:57.690 --> 00:42:00.309
our child's problems and suffering right now.

00:42:00.650 --> 00:42:04.789
He could deliver them in an instant. And we go

00:42:04.789 --> 00:42:09.769
back to the but. But if not, instead of saying

00:42:09.769 --> 00:42:14.429
what if, the goal is to trust God enough to say.

00:42:15.079 --> 00:42:18.360
Even if I see no answers to my prayers, I will

00:42:18.360 --> 00:42:21.719
continue to intercede. Even if everything looks

00:42:21.719 --> 00:42:25.699
hopeless, I will hope in my Savior. Even if my

00:42:25.699 --> 00:42:30.900
child is never well, I will trust God. Even if

00:42:30.900 --> 00:42:34.440
nothing ever changes, I will still believe God

00:42:34.440 --> 00:42:37.639
is sovereign and all -powerful. Even if I can't

00:42:37.639 --> 00:42:41.119
comprehend what God allows, I will declare that

00:42:41.119 --> 00:42:44.280
He is loving and good. I think it's all about

00:42:44.280 --> 00:42:48.699
really remembering who God is, that we really

00:42:48.699 --> 00:42:52.079
can trust him even if what we want to have happen

00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:56.940
doesn't happen or is slow in coming because it's

00:42:56.940 --> 00:42:59.219
never on our timetable that God works, right?

00:42:59.639 --> 00:43:06.139
So how will we respond? And God is all -powerful,

00:43:06.199 --> 00:43:09.980
and he can make things happen however he chooses.

00:43:10.889 --> 00:43:14.289
He does give us free will, though. Yes. And so

00:43:14.289 --> 00:43:17.389
I can't always put that together, but he knows

00:43:17.389 --> 00:43:23.909
what we're going to do. But even if he doesn't

00:43:23.909 --> 00:43:27.329
do what we want him to do, we can trust him.

00:43:27.710 --> 00:43:31.269
We may not ever see the outcome we would like.

00:43:31.750 --> 00:43:36.719
We often will, because he steps in. and does

00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:41.820
a miracle and redeems and rescues and changes

00:43:41.820 --> 00:43:47.139
hearts and minds, including ours. But sometimes

00:43:47.139 --> 00:43:50.320
we don't get to see it. And as you said a few

00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:53.599
minutes ago, our prayers continue. We've prayed

00:43:53.599 --> 00:43:57.340
them and maybe we're gone, but those prayers

00:43:57.340 --> 00:44:02.099
are still there working. God's saved them, kept

00:44:02.099 --> 00:44:09.000
them. We don't have control. But boy, even if

00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:12.139
he doesn't do what we want, you don't know what's

00:44:12.139 --> 00:44:15.960
going to happen. Yes. And you do know God. And

00:44:15.960 --> 00:44:18.619
if you don't know him, you really want to know

00:44:18.619 --> 00:44:21.659
him. Yes, yes. Because that is the secret to

00:44:21.659 --> 00:44:25.739
surviving this. We don't want to have to go through

00:44:25.739 --> 00:44:29.619
this life depending on ourselves. We're not strong

00:44:29.619 --> 00:44:32.659
enough or smart enough. We can't save ourselves.

00:44:33.199 --> 00:44:36.780
But Jesus. He changes everything when we choose

00:44:36.780 --> 00:44:40.019
to believe in him and say, I want you in my life.

00:44:40.099 --> 00:44:43.219
I trust you. I'll follow you. It doesn't mean

00:44:43.219 --> 00:44:46.420
that everything's going to be easy. All our problems

00:44:46.420 --> 00:44:50.519
solved like that. But we don't go through this

00:44:50.519 --> 00:44:54.079
life alone. He's with us and we have him to help

00:44:54.079 --> 00:44:56.760
us. Thank you, Lord, that that is true and that

00:44:56.760 --> 00:45:01.519
we can trust you. Can you give us any little

00:45:01.519 --> 00:45:05.349
update on your daughter? Yes, I can. Well, as

00:45:05.349 --> 00:45:09.630
I said, she's a single mom and is homeschooling

00:45:09.630 --> 00:45:12.409
her little boy, which is another amazing thing.

00:45:13.989 --> 00:45:18.989
And he's so smart, of course. But she is doing

00:45:18.989 --> 00:45:24.329
so well managing herself and learning to be an

00:45:24.329 --> 00:45:27.949
independent, a very emotionally healthy woman,

00:45:28.050 --> 00:45:30.570
raising a very emotionally intelligent little

00:45:30.570 --> 00:45:33.369
boy. I say to her sometimes, I wish I knew those

00:45:33.369 --> 00:45:35.630
things. She's learned so much in her years of

00:45:35.630 --> 00:45:38.429
therapy that she applies so well with him. Oh,

00:45:38.429 --> 00:45:41.429
that's awesome. Oh, it is. Now there's an answer

00:45:41.429 --> 00:45:43.329
to prayer we wouldn't have even known to ask

00:45:43.329 --> 00:45:47.590
for. Oh, I know. She works very hard. Like you

00:45:47.590 --> 00:45:50.789
said, Josh is. She's a very hard worker, very

00:45:50.789 --> 00:45:53.949
conscientious about her work and cares so much

00:45:53.949 --> 00:45:57.690
about people and always looking for someone that

00:45:57.690 --> 00:46:00.769
she can encourage from even what she's been through

00:46:00.769 --> 00:46:04.679
as well. We're so, so proud of her. It's wonderful

00:46:04.679 --> 00:46:08.500
to see her thriving today when years ago we didn't

00:46:08.500 --> 00:46:11.360
know she'd still be here. That's God's goodness.

00:46:11.559 --> 00:46:13.039
And wonderful to have a relationship with her.

00:46:13.260 --> 00:46:16.139
Yes, and we have a good relationship. You know,

00:46:16.179 --> 00:46:17.920
we're always working on it. It can always be

00:46:17.920 --> 00:46:20.960
better with everybody, right? With ourselves.

00:46:21.599 --> 00:46:24.820
Yes, yes. We're very grateful for where we are

00:46:24.820 --> 00:46:28.659
today. That's really true. So, again, you said

00:46:28.659 --> 00:46:32.139
a little about your ministry. hope for hurting

00:46:32.139 --> 00:46:34.840
parents, and just describe a little of what's

00:46:34.840 --> 00:46:38.139
available to people. We have a website that's

00:46:38.139 --> 00:46:42.920
full of resources to help you find books that

00:46:42.920 --> 00:46:47.280
will apply to your situation, nonprofit organizations

00:46:47.280 --> 00:46:50.500
that can help you, different kinds of support

00:46:50.500 --> 00:46:53.519
groups. We offer support groups, and they're

00:46:53.519 --> 00:46:56.460
listed there. the in -person as well as online.

00:46:56.739 --> 00:46:59.320
We also help people and individuals in churches

00:46:59.320 --> 00:47:03.000
start support groups. We have a team that can

00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:07.239
help. We have our materials. You can download

00:47:07.239 --> 00:47:11.239
our free sample, which has everything you need

00:47:11.239 --> 00:47:13.900
to know to get started, including a sample timeline

00:47:13.900 --> 00:47:16.559
and the first session, which is on grief and

00:47:16.559 --> 00:47:19.500
loss. And so we come alongside of you to help

00:47:19.500 --> 00:47:21.539
you and encourage you and help you promote those

00:47:21.539 --> 00:47:25.789
groups. We have quarterly online meetings with

00:47:25.789 --> 00:47:28.590
our facilitators and people who are thinking

00:47:28.590 --> 00:47:30.730
about starting a group that just want to hear

00:47:30.730 --> 00:47:33.670
a little more about it. There's a blog on the

00:47:33.670 --> 00:47:36.530
website that you can sign up for and a daily

00:47:36.530 --> 00:47:39.590
email subscription. It just goes out five days

00:47:39.590 --> 00:47:42.130
a week, but you can choose just one or three

00:47:42.130 --> 00:47:46.349
days. And there are words of scripture, something

00:47:46.349 --> 00:47:48.909
I've read, something someone else wrote possibly

00:47:48.909 --> 00:47:52.780
to just give you. comfort, encouragement, and

00:47:52.780 --> 00:47:55.079
hope for the journey. So that's a little bit

00:47:55.079 --> 00:47:59.420
about what we offer. And the website is? It's

00:47:59.420 --> 00:48:04.639
hopeforhurtingparents .com. Oh, and I also have

00:48:04.639 --> 00:48:08.440
a YouTube channel. Just my name, Dena, D -E -N

00:48:08.440 --> 00:48:13.500
-A, Y -O -H -E, to encourage you from my journey.

00:48:14.260 --> 00:48:18.159
So much to offer. And you think this was a hard

00:48:18.159 --> 00:48:21.400
journey, but what a privilege to be able to help

00:48:21.400 --> 00:48:26.239
and encourage others. Yes, it's my joy. It almost

00:48:26.239 --> 00:48:28.139
makes it all worthwhile. I wouldn't want to go

00:48:28.139 --> 00:48:31.659
through it again, but it's amazing what God can

00:48:31.659 --> 00:48:34.659
do with our ashes and turning them into something

00:48:34.659 --> 00:48:38.929
beautiful. That's great. Well, here's the beautiful

00:48:38.929 --> 00:48:41.150
thing that I'm going to do for the listeners

00:48:41.150 --> 00:48:46.070
is I'm offering five copies of your book, Strength

00:48:46.070 --> 00:48:51.659
for the Brokenhearted. That's powerful. Small,

00:48:51.679 --> 00:48:54.780
short, you don't have to read a whole chapter

00:48:54.780 --> 00:48:57.800
kind of thing. They're short devotionals, and

00:48:57.800 --> 00:49:00.440
I've read the whole thing, and I was blessed

00:49:00.440 --> 00:49:04.340
over and over and over. Thank you. And so we're

00:49:04.340 --> 00:49:08.789
going to offer five copies free. But you can

00:49:08.789 --> 00:49:10.849
then go get your own, and you'll want to give

00:49:10.849 --> 00:49:13.730
it to your friends who have prodigals too. But

00:49:13.730 --> 00:49:17.210
look at our show notes for how to sign up to

00:49:17.210 --> 00:49:20.829
be in the drawing for those five. And I just

00:49:20.829 --> 00:49:24.309
really encourage you to get this book and let

00:49:24.309 --> 00:49:29.150
God minister to you because it is full of hope.

00:49:29.550 --> 00:49:32.949
It is full of help. It is full of encouragement.

00:49:34.269 --> 00:49:37.210
in the midst of the realities that you're living

00:49:37.210 --> 00:49:41.630
in. It's not like it's making light of what you're

00:49:41.630 --> 00:49:46.250
living through. And we know it hasn't been an

00:49:46.250 --> 00:49:50.789
easy journey. But this is going to be a great

00:49:50.789 --> 00:49:57.730
help to you. And ask God to give you a new or

00:49:57.730 --> 00:50:03.170
more better, fuller. picture of how he is in

00:50:03.170 --> 00:50:07.210
this and he loves your loved one more than you

00:50:07.210 --> 00:50:11.949
do he's committed to them but he's also committed

00:50:11.949 --> 00:50:16.150
to you and he's amazing at multiple outcomes

00:50:16.150 --> 00:50:21.409
of events and we're believing that there will

00:50:21.409 --> 00:50:24.849
be good outcomes for those that are breaking

00:50:24.849 --> 00:50:28.179
our hearts But they're going to be good outcomes

00:50:28.179 --> 00:50:32.659
in our lives and for our broken hearts. So thank

00:50:32.659 --> 00:50:36.159
you. Thank you, Dina. And blessings on you and

00:50:36.159 --> 00:50:41.079
Tom and your whole family and the ministry that

00:50:41.079 --> 00:50:44.420
God's given you. Look how he's grown it. And

00:50:44.420 --> 00:50:49.420
we'll be back actually in a week, I'm pretty

00:50:49.420 --> 00:50:54.460
sure, maybe two. But I'm going to have a friend

00:50:54.460 --> 00:50:59.619
of mine on. His name is Bruce Cook. And I'm telling

00:50:59.619 --> 00:51:02.559
you this now because it will apply to some of

00:51:02.559 --> 00:51:05.760
you. Bruce is my husband's best friend from college

00:51:05.760 --> 00:51:10.099
on. And Bruce got challenged by somebody who

00:51:10.099 --> 00:51:13.019
just couldn't believe that God was real. He says,

00:51:13.079 --> 00:51:17.000
there's no science to prove God. And he's...

00:51:17.260 --> 00:51:19.300
Bruce said to him, he says, well, what if I could

00:51:19.300 --> 00:51:22.940
find some science that demonstrated that? And

00:51:22.940 --> 00:51:25.659
so he's written this book called Follow the Evidence.

00:51:26.219 --> 00:51:31.619
And it is basically one question or reason people

00:51:31.619 --> 00:51:35.300
don't believe after another. Because they say,

00:51:35.380 --> 00:51:37.199
well, that just can't be. That couldn't have

00:51:37.199 --> 00:51:39.900
happened. You know, these kind of. And one by

00:51:39.900 --> 00:51:43.320
one, there are scientific backup that said this

00:51:43.320 --> 00:51:48.519
can only be explained supernaturally. by an outside

00:51:48.519 --> 00:51:52.480
force that makes this happen. This doesn't just

00:51:52.480 --> 00:51:56.199
happen. And so it is a storybook in a sense,

00:51:56.360 --> 00:52:00.579
but it is science demonstrating the reality of

00:52:00.579 --> 00:52:04.400
God. And for some of you, part of where your...

00:52:04.840 --> 00:52:07.800
prodigals are is they have rejected what they've

00:52:07.800 --> 00:52:10.500
been taught all their life kind of thing. And

00:52:10.500 --> 00:52:13.719
they said, I just can't believe it. This book.

00:52:13.739 --> 00:52:16.519
And so this interview I will be doing with Bruce

00:52:16.519 --> 00:52:20.699
Cook will help you. It will give you ammunition.

00:52:21.099 --> 00:52:23.880
And I can't wait to get a copy, too. I have some

00:52:23.880 --> 00:52:28.179
and I'll be giving away some. So, Dina, thank

00:52:28.179 --> 00:52:31.440
you. Thank you. Thank you, Judy. It's a blessing.

00:52:32.880 --> 00:52:35.739
We'll look forward. This should air next Tuesday.

00:52:36.059 --> 00:52:37.960
God bless you.