At the Very Time God Said (episode 18)

0:00 Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness? Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15 years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey. This week we are in our second look at time. We'll be doing that for about four weeks, talking about time. What do pearls and butterflies have in common? Well, they both start out as something simple and not so beautiful and are transformed into something lovely. A pearl begins as a tiny grain of sand and an oyster. Since to the oyster it is an irritant, the oyster immediately begins to cover the grain with nacre, the same substance its shell is made from. Over time, because of the pressure experienced by the oyster, layer after layer of nacre transforms that little grain of sand into a lustrous pearl. Most of us have marveled at how a caterpillar, an ugly hairy worm-like creature crawling on a tree limb, can become a lovely butterfly soaring through the sky. Perhaps you have even watched the process

1:35 as a school science experiment. My granddaughter recently had five butterflies emerge from cocoons that I sent her. And you've heard that a butterfly, which has been under pressure while tightly packed in its chrysalis, must go through the difficult effort to break out if it is to be able to fly. If you break its chrysalis open, the butterfly will die. They have to do the hard work to get out. Oh, how we wish our prodigals would return now. How we want them to be changed overnight. And sometimes that happens. Amazing surrender and metamorphosis can happen in a moment or a day or a week, but not usually. Usually it takes both time and pressure. What kind of pressure? Many kinds, actually. One pressure is that they are sad that they are hurting and disappointing you. That matters more to them than you would think and that they would acknowledge. Choices that lead to negative consequences from small to very significant are a huge pressure on them. Depending on where they are and what's going on, they could be in hunger, in pain, exposure, poverty,

3:07 affected. They could have loss of identity. Who am I? Loss of community and even loss of their family by their own choice. They have loss of hope for a good future, all for a momentary pleasure or a sense of personal freedom. And they give up all of that. And time, it takes time for the pain and reality of those losses and the consequences to seek in. It also takes time for most prodigals to recognize they are not really happy with their current situation and to start to look for a better approach to life, to begin to make a turn. Finally, even when the decision to turn is real, it takes time for consequences to play out, for addictions to be overcome, for habits and patterns to reverse. My son has even said that he is still experiencing some of the consequences of his bad choices that he mostly quit making about 10 years ago. Transformation requires both time and pressure. Sometimes we grow weary under the stress and the seemingly endless pain and we say, now please, Lord. But our God has given us this word. In Ecclesiastes, he says

4:39 that he has made everything beautiful in its time. So just as it takes time to transform a grain of sand into an exquisite pearl and to change a caterpillar into a lovely butterfly, so it will take time for our loved ones to be transformed into the beautiful ones God created them to be. It will take time, but it can happen. And each of us, well, we also need transforming in small and large places in our lives. That change will also require time and pressure. And in God's economy, surely our prodigal loved ones are supplying time and pressure in great amounts for us. And that yields newness in our lives as well.

5:37 God is a good steward. He uses what they're doing for them and for us. And he also has a sense of humor. But usually it's difficult to wait patiently. For many years, every time my birthday would come around, I'd tell my son what gift I would like from him. It was always the same gift. All I want for my birthday is for you to surrender your life to Jesus. There were times he yelled at me in response, I want nothing to do with Jesus. Other times he didn't acknowledge my requests. Not a no, not a yes, just silence. Occasionally, he would make some small steps towards surrendering to God, giving me little tokens of hope. But still I waited for that very special gift, as I am sure you have had to wait. Abraham and Sarah also waited many years for a very special gift, the birth of their son Isaac.

6:43 Think about this. First, there was a promise. Then the word of the Lord came to him, that is Abram. This man, Abram's sermon, will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir. He took him outside and said, look up at the sky and count stars, if indeed you can count them. And then God said to him, so shall your offspring be. And Abram began to believe and he waited. But there was a bypass. Sarah just couldn't keep waiting. Now we read Sarah's, Abram's wife, had born no children, but she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar. So she said to Abram, the Lord has kept me from having children.

7:39 Go sleep with my slave. Perhaps I can build a family through her. This was a common custom then. But God was committed to his original plan. So there was not a rejection, there was an affirmation. And he says, is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son. And then there was the fulfillment. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age. And get this, at the very time God had promised him, so much happens in our lives and in the lives of our prodigals at the very time that God has ordained. Abraham had a promise. His descendants would outnumber the grains of sand and the stars in the sky. Yet he had no child, no heir, no tangible evidence of God's promise. Year after year, he looked for the promise. Time after time, the impossible did not happen. I've been there waiting for that birthday gift from my son.

8:59 Sarah couldn't wait. She took things into her own hands, trying to come up with her own solution. Uh oh, I've been there too. No, I couldn't make him say I surrender, but a little manipulation, maybe a small bribe and plenty of demanding prayers. Do it, Lord, do it my way. I take such encouragement in God's creativity. Yes, pain and disruption and conflict resulted from Sarah's effort. Then and to this day, we see it. Yet God redeemed it. He protected Hagar and Ishmael throughout their lives. And in Genesis, we read Hagar gave us a beautiful understanding with this name of God, Elroy, the God who sees me. And we have that promise even now that God sees you and sees your prodigal. And he has a plan.

10:04 I have thought Abraham and Sarah's efforts, he did participate, would have caused God himself to take a bypass as well, to go with another approach. But no, God reaffirmed his original plan. Abraham at 99 and Sarah at 90 would have a son in a year. And it happened exactly when God planned it to happen. Talk about a birthday celebration. I suppose Isaac is maybe the longest waited for baby ever. I've had promises about my son. Maybe you too have had promises about your loved ones. Or maybe you wait and despair and pray and hope. Repeat, wait and despair and pray and hope. Repeat. Will the time ever come? God is not bound by time, but he has chosen to operate in time. And it reminds us he will accomplish his purposes in the lives of our prodigals, our children, spouses, parents, friends in his perfect way at his perfect time. And he will do the same in your life and in my life. Let me ask you a couple of questions. Have you, like Sarah, tried to

11:35 take things into your own hands? How did it play out? Did it happen the way you wanted it to? When have you seen God graciously redeem your own efforts and your bypasses and do his beautiful work in your life as well as the life of your prodigal? God bless you. Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes. And for more helpful information, resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.