At the Very Time God Said (episode 18)

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Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness?

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Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15

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years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey.

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This week we are in our second look at time. We'll be doing that for about four weeks,

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talking about time. What do pearls and butterflies have in common? Well, they both start out

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as something simple and not so beautiful and are transformed into something lovely. A pearl

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begins as a tiny grain of sand and an oyster. Since to the oyster it is an irritant, the

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oyster immediately begins to cover the grain with nacre, the same substance its shell is

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made from. Over time, because of the pressure experienced by the oyster, layer after layer

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of nacre transforms that little grain of sand into a lustrous pearl. Most of us have marveled

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at how a caterpillar, an ugly hairy worm-like creature crawling on a tree limb, can become

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a lovely butterfly soaring through the sky. Perhaps you have even watched the process

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as a school science experiment. My granddaughter recently had five butterflies emerge from

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cocoons that I sent her. And you've heard that a butterfly, which has been under pressure

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while tightly packed in its chrysalis, must go through the difficult effort to break out

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if it is to be able to fly. If you break its chrysalis open, the butterfly will die. They

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have to do the hard work to get out. Oh, how we wish our prodigals would return now. How

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we want them to be changed overnight. And sometimes that happens. Amazing surrender

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and metamorphosis can happen in a moment or a day or a week, but not usually. Usually

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it takes both time and pressure. What kind of pressure? Many kinds, actually. One pressure

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is that they are sad that they are hurting and disappointing you. That matters more to

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them than you would think and that they would acknowledge. Choices that lead to negative

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consequences from small to very significant are a huge pressure on them. Depending on

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where they are and what's going on, they could be in hunger, in pain, exposure, poverty,

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affected. They could have loss of identity. Who am I? Loss of community and even loss

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of their family by their own choice. They have loss of hope for a good future, all for

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a momentary pleasure or a sense of personal freedom. And they give up all of that. And

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time, it takes time for the pain and reality of those losses and the consequences to seek

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in. It also takes time for most prodigals to recognize they are not really happy with

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their current situation and to start to look for a better approach to life, to begin to

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make a turn. Finally, even when the decision to turn is real, it takes time for consequences

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to play out, for addictions to be overcome, for habits and patterns to reverse. My son

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has even said that he is still experiencing some of the consequences of his bad choices

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that he mostly quit making about 10 years ago. Transformation requires both time and

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pressure. Sometimes we grow weary under the stress and the seemingly endless pain and

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we say, now please, Lord. But our God has given us this word. In Ecclesiastes, he says

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that he has made everything beautiful in its time. So just as it takes time to transform

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a grain of sand into an exquisite pearl and to change a caterpillar into a lovely butterfly,

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so it will take time for our loved ones to be transformed into the beautiful ones God

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created them to be. It will take time, but it can happen. And each of us, well, we also

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need transforming in small and large places in our lives. That change will also require

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time and pressure. And in God's economy, surely our prodigal loved ones are supplying

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time and pressure in great amounts for us. And that yields newness in our lives as well.

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God is a good steward. He uses what they're doing for them and for us. And he also has

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a sense of humor. But usually it's difficult to wait patiently. For many years, every time

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my birthday would come around, I'd tell my son what gift I would like from him. It was

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always the same gift. All I want for my birthday is for you to surrender your life to Jesus.

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There were times he yelled at me in response, I want nothing to do with Jesus. Other times

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he didn't acknowledge my requests. Not a no, not a yes, just silence. Occasionally,

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he would make some small steps towards surrendering to God, giving me little tokens of hope. But

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still I waited for that very special gift, as I am sure you have had to wait. Abraham

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and Sarah also waited many years for a very special gift, the birth of their son Isaac.

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Think about this. First, there was a promise. Then the word of the Lord came to him, that

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is Abram. This man, Abram's sermon, will not be your heir, but a son who is your own

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flesh and blood will be your heir. He took him outside and said, look up at the sky and

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count stars, if indeed you can count them. And then God said to him, so shall your offspring

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be. And Abram began to believe and he waited. But there was a bypass. Sarah just couldn't

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keep waiting. Now we read Sarah's, Abram's wife, had born no children, but she had an

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Egyptian slave named Hagar. So she said to Abram, the Lord has kept me from having children.

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Go sleep with my slave. Perhaps I can build a family through her. This was a common custom

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then. But God was committed to his original plan. So there was not a rejection, there

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was an affirmation. And he says, is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you

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at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son. And then there was the fulfillment.

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Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age. And get this, at the very

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time God had promised him, so much happens in our lives and in the lives of our prodigals

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at the very time that God has ordained. Abraham had a promise. His descendants would outnumber

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the grains of sand and the stars in the sky. Yet he had no child, no heir, no tangible

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evidence of God's promise. Year after year, he looked for the promise. Time after time,

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the impossible did not happen. I've been there waiting for that birthday gift from my son.

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Sarah couldn't wait. She took things into her own hands, trying to come up with her

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own solution. Uh oh, I've been there too. No, I couldn't make him say I surrender,

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but a little manipulation, maybe a small bribe and plenty of demanding prayers. Do it, Lord,

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do it my way. I take such encouragement in God's creativity. Yes, pain and disruption

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and conflict resulted from Sarah's effort. Then and to this day, we see it. Yet God redeemed

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it. He protected Hagar and Ishmael throughout their lives. And in Genesis, we read Hagar

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gave us a beautiful understanding with this name of God, Elroy, the God who sees me. And

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we have that promise even now that God sees you and sees your prodigal. And he has a plan.

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I have thought Abraham and Sarah's efforts, he did participate, would have caused God

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himself to take a bypass as well, to go with another approach. But no, God reaffirmed his

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original plan. Abraham at 99 and Sarah at 90 would have a son in a year. And it happened

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exactly when God planned it to happen. Talk about a birthday celebration. I suppose Isaac

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is maybe the longest waited for baby ever. I've had promises about my son. Maybe you

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too have had promises about your loved ones. Or maybe you wait and despair and pray and

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hope. Repeat, wait and despair and pray and hope. Repeat. Will the time ever come? God

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is not bound by time, but he has chosen to operate in time. And it reminds us he will

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accomplish his purposes in the lives of our prodigals, our children, spouses, parents,

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friends in his perfect way at his perfect time. And he will do the same in your life

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and in my life. Let me ask you a couple of questions. Have you, like Sarah, tried to

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take things into your own hands? How did it play out? Did it happen the way you wanted

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it to? When have you seen God graciously redeem your own efforts and your bypasses and do

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his beautiful work in your life as well as the life of your prodigal? God bless you.

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Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed

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today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever

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you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement

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of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes. And for more helpful information,

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resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find

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me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.