Creative Ways to Pray for Your Prodigal, episode 59

0:00 If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here at When You Love a Prodigal. And also help and hope for your own life journey. Recently on the Prayer for Prodigals community website, a mom said, please pray for my son. I've done all I know to do. I've tried to pray. I just don't know how to pray for him anymore. On this podcast over the past year and a half, we have talked about many ways to help our prodigals and many ways to help ourselves walk through this journey.

0:42 And all of those are legit and helpful. But the bottom line is God is the one who knows what they need and what we need, and he can do it. Prayer is our means to connect with God. I promised I would occasionally focus on answering some of the questions that I've received. And in my first question and answer session, I talked about 10 lessons I had learned on my wilderness journey. And today we will talk about prayer. Be sure to write down the ideas that stick with you that really sound right to you, that will help you the most.

1:26 At the end, I will tell you how you can get a free gift to give you more help. First, if you are like me, you find prayer a little perplexing. And what I wanna talk about now is that prayer is a conversation. Just like you have a conversation with a friend or your loved one or anybody that you encounter. And that's exactly what prayer is, a conversation with God. When I first met Jesus, all I knew about prayer was reciting from a prayer book.

2:07 But someone gave me a life-changing book called Prayer Conversing with God. From the beginning of my journey with Jesus, I began to understand that prayer was not a list of wants, but a conversation with God. It was two-way, give and take, question and answer, honesty and respect. Ask and tell and listen. We can ask and God listens to us. One of my most helpful comments to God though is, what do you want to say to me?

2:48 So keep in mind as I go over all these other possible prayer approaches, that bottom line, you're having a conversation with God and you will talk and he will talk. It goes both ways. Now, because when you have a prodigal, you're often in a sad, sorrowing, angry response. And we come to God more in lament than anything else. Now in the Western part of this world, we don't do much about lament, though I think we're getting it a little better. In other parts of the world, they understand it.

3:28 But lament is a time where we bring to God what we are sad about, hurt, angry about. And we're honest with them and that's lament. When we lament, we take our tears and our fears to God. We let him know what we think and how we feel about the events of our lives. And we appeal to God to act justly and demonstrate his faithfulness. Many of the Psalms are songs of lament, most of which follow a similar pattern or approach to God.

4:09 The first thing is a complaint. Probably all of us can identify with first going to God with a complaint. And then a request, which we tend to do as well. And then there is the expression of trust. Even though we may not have yet seen what God's going to do, we come and we complain, we tell how bad things are, we make a request that he would do something. But then we say, I'm gonna trust you, Lord. And that's what's throughout the Psalms, David especially, but others as well did just that.

4:50 And there are many Psalms of lament and a whole book of lamentations that is lament. The concerns that we bring to him could be personal needs or threats for the Psalms, it was threats from enemies. Or for us, it might be threats from somebody who is angry at us like, oh, our prodigal. Or disappointments with God's action or inaction, or the choices our loved ones are making. In Psalm 80, we might find ourselves joining the Psalmist in his despair at the brokenness of Jerusalem, crying out, how long, Lord God Almighty.

5:42 And then restore us, oh God, make your face shine on us that we may be saved. And I know, unless you're brand new in this wilderness journey, you've said, how long, God? How long? And that is an honest expression of lament of the pain that you're experiencing. And it expresses our desire, our efforts, to give that pain to God, to let him take it and carry the weight of it. So if you find yourself lamenting the situation for you or with your loved one, don't think that's wrong.

6:22 It's very biblical because it's all throughout scripture. Another way to pray is to use scripture. Sometimes I just don't know what to pray or what my loved one really needs or even what I need. And what is God's will in this journey that I'm on? And when I don't know what to pray, I turn to the word of God. There are prayers throughout it, and many of those prayers will apply to where we are. And they can be prayed directly from scripture. And I'm gonna give you a couple of examples.

7:03 Other verses tell us of God's desires and intentions for his children. So I turn those scriptures into prayers. So let me just share with you a few here or some words from God's word to guide your prayers. First, some assurances for you. In Philippians 4, we read, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And what happens? The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

7:47 So you can claim for yourself especially on this journey that if I come to him with my requests and my anxiety and whatever, and share it with him, he says, I'll give you peace. He doesn't say I'll give you exactly what you asked for, but he will give us peace. And in Hebrews 4, we read, therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Does that just blow your mind? Come with confidence to God, just like you would do for the Queen of England or somebody of high position.

8:37 He says, come on up, I wanna talk with you, I wanna hear. And do you get what it says, the throne of grace? I wonder if that means the throne of grace or the throne that God sits on is made of grace. What a beautiful thought, how he responds to me. And when we come, we will receive mercy and grace to help in our time of need. Then there's prayers for your loved one. And this is a word straight from God through Jeremiah. My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land.

9:19 I will build them up and not tear them down. I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them a heart to know me that I am the Lord. They will be my people and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. Now, I know that Jeremiah was talking about the children of Israel coming back from captivity, but over and over, I have heard God say, this is true. He's wooing the loved ones back, the prodigals, and we can come and trust him for that.

10:00 And Jeremiah also quotes God as saying, I am the Lord, the God of all mankind, is anything too hard for me? You know, sometimes the case looks impossible. We have no idea where our loved one is or what they're doing or what trouble they're in. They won't talk to us or they're in jail or all sorts of things. And this says to me, I choose to believe that God is working and can do the impossible. Oh yeah, and here's another wonderful prayer to pray for your loved ones.

10:44 This is Paul in Ephesians 1. I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. Have you stopped giving thanks for your loved one? I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better. What a wonderful thing to pray for our loved ones. Going on, Paul says, I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he, God, has called you.

11:25 The riches of his glorious inheritance in you and me, in the holy people, in the children of God, a rich inheritance were called and his incomparably great power for us who believe. A lot of times, prodigals don't feel like they're very valued. That may be because they haven't been, but more often it's just a perception that comes a lot of times with growing up, and they think they're not wanted or valued or of value. And God says, oh no, you are of great value. You are a glorious inheritance through Christ to the Father.

12:12 There are lots and lots of other scripture, and I'm giving you a book at the end if you choose to get it, that'll give you more, a lot more scriptures to pray. Sometimes we need prayers of forgiveness. Our Father in heaven is committed to forgiving us and to our forgiving those who hurt or offend us. Jesus made this clear. He said, if someone sends against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, forgive me, then that's what you should do.

12:53 Jesus said from the cross, Father, forgive them. They do not know what they are doing. They didn't repent or ask for forgiveness. They were cheering and shouting at him. No, he says, forgive them. I forgave them, and you can forgive those who have hurt you. And surely your prodigal will hurt you, maybe even harm you. Sometimes they ask for forgiveness, but more often they don't. Jesus says we are to forgive them. Here is a prayer to help you do that.

13:34 You can even pray along with me. I will read it slowly. Father, thank you for your mercy and grace toward me and for forgiving my sins through Jesus' death on the cross. Thank you that you forgive me over and over. For repeated sins and new sins, big or small, I am so grateful for your grace. Lord, I need to forgive, say the name of your loved one. I need to forgive him, her, my loved one who has wronged me, hurt me, betrayed me, offended me, sinned against me.

14:22 It's hard for me to do this. I am still hurt, angry, confused. So I come asking you for the power to forgive, say the name. Fill me with your spirit and remind me of your love and mercy to me and to, say the name. By your spirit, I choose to forgive, again, say the name. I choose to extend grace and mercy to him or her, even as you have done for me. I choose as you enable me to live at peace with this person that I love.

15:08 I ask that you bless, one more time, say the name, in your love. Please, may we be reconciled and our relationship healed and if that does not happen, may I continue to love and forgive. Thank you that this is possible in the power of your spirit, in Jesus' name. True confession, I've had to pray that prayer many times. Yeah, quite a few times. And sometimes I hurt my loved one, my prodigal.

15:50 And sometimes you will hurt or offend your prodigal and you will need to ask for forgiveness. Now here's a very simple prayer to ask your loved one to forgive you for how you've hurt them. Say his name, her name. I was wrong to name the offense. Don't just say I'm sorry that I hurt you. No, name, what did you say? What did you do? What did you not do? I was wrong to, I know that was hurtful to you. Our relationship matters to me and I desire to relate to you in a better way.

16:33 Will you forgive me? Thank you so much. So another kind of prayer has to do with the fact that we are in a battle. When you are on a wilderness journey with a prodigal or any other challenging event, you know that life is really a battlefield because after all, we have an enemy, the devil himself who is seeking to destroy us. Our natural tendency is to cringe in fear or to run and hide. God's word though tells us to do just the opposite. Submit yourselves then to God, James says.

17:16 Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Seriously, resist the devil? Who am I to resist the devil? Well, you're a child of God, that's who you are. And there are specific ways that we can help you that we can resist the devil. How do we stand up against the lion seeking to devour us and those we love? Here are three things I would say. They're not the only things, but these are three really strong ways for us to send the devil. What does it say? He will flee from you.

17:57 Send the devil fleeing. First, praise God. David tells us in Psalm 22, three, but Lord, you are holy, enthroned in the praises of Israel. It's like God is lifted up on the throne when we praise. He lives, it says in another translation. He lives in our praises. And when the devil hears us praising God, he leaves. He doesn't wanna be around it. He covers his ears, says, let me out of here. So how do you go about praising God? Here are a few ways.

18:37 List his names, attributes, and qualities. Here, for example, he is good, faithful, loving, merciful. He is God Almighty, Jehovah Jireh, our shepherd. You can also read aloud from the Psalms that especially praise our Lord, such as Psalms 95 to 100. You can sing the doxology if you know it. You can sing praise choruses that you've heard in church and maybe memorized. There are so many ways to send praises, honor, glory up to our God.

19:19 And the devil wants nothing to do with it. And that will cause him to let you alone. He may come back later, but send him fleeing. A second way to send the devil fleeing is to thank God. It says in 1 Thessalonians 5, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you and Christ Jesus. You see, when we thank God, even in difficult situations, we announce to the devil that we believe God is God and God is good.

20:00 And he doesn't wanna fight that. And he leaves us, he flees. Did you know you could just send the devil away like that? Here's a third way. Speak truth. John 8 tells us, then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. So quote some scriptures that speak the truth of our God, such as being confident of this, Paul says in Philippians, be assured that he who began a good work in you and your prodigal will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

20:43 So Satan's trying to convince you that God's mad at you or he's through with you, or that he's never gonna let go of your prodigal. And he says, oh, I started a work in you, I started a work in your prodigal. You can be confident that I will not abandon it. I will complete it. And Satan's gone again. Another verse in Deuteronomy, the Lord is the one who goes ahead of you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Now just think, God's saying, I'm with you. I'm there all the time with you. And Satan's like, I don't wanna hang out with him.

21:27 And so he leaves because we're with God and that's not where he wants to be. I love just going over this again. I hope it's blessing you and speaking of blessings, one of my favorite ways to pray is to bless people. Now really, what is a blessing? Just an old fashioned term, oh no. Blessing is the projection of good into the life of another. So when I say to somebody, God bless you, I'm asking God to do good to them, to do good in them. And it's just a wonderful way when you have a prodigal to make a huge difference in their life.

22:13 When I raise my voice or give a sharp retort or use always, you always do this or you never do that, I am not blessing my loved one. In fact, the Bible would call that cursing. But I want to choose to bless, to encourage, to affirm, to speak truth with love, to speak words of life to my loved ones. So I love to think about what are the needs of my prodigal and think what scripture speaks to that and then turn those scriptures into blessings. Here are just a few of the blessings that I have written and I have a lot more or so.

22:59 This is one of my favorites coming from Micah 7. May you rise when you fall and come out of the darkness into God's light. What a wonderful prayer to bless my loved one with. Jeremiah 24, may you be built up, not torn down. Planted, not uprooted. May you return to God with all your heart. And again in Jeremiah, I bet you've never read this. May you comprehend that it gives God joy to always do good to you.

23:40 I love that. Oh, this is a great one from Hosea. May you feel cords of loving kindness as the Father bends down to feed you. Can't you just see God the Father, like the shepherd reaching down to provide for, to care for a loved sheep or our loved wandering sheep. It says, cords of loving kindness. Then Romans 8, may you know that in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation. I think most of our Prodigals feel pretty condemned because they may not say that they're doing wrong, but they know that they're making bad choices.

24:30 And most people condemn them. And God says, no, Christ Jesus, he's not condemning. And again in Romans 8, may you be convinced that nothing can separate you from the love of God. I love blessings. Okay, we're getting close. Giving thanks is another way that we pray. Now, humans aren't naturally grateful. Just think of parents training a young child after somebody does something for them and the parent says, now, what do you say?

25:11 And it just seems to take a long time for humans to grab hold that we say thank you. So isn't it right that we would say thank you to our God, the giver of life, and who even gave us the gift of a Prodigal? We'll get to that a little later, not today. God has observed, however, that we are much like children. He knows he must remind us often to say thank you. But he takes it a lot further. He said, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you and Christ Jesus.

25:53 Says something similar in Philippians 4 and in Ephesians 5. So what happens when I give thanks? I've talked about this in another episode, but just three main things. The first thing that happens when I say thank you that my Prodigal came home drunk again last night or is in jail or whatever. When I do that, when I say thank you, Lord, my focus changes from the problem to God himself. Consistently, it does. The second thing that happens as I dwell on that is that my trust begins to expand, my trust in God.

26:42 As I see what he is doing, it opens my eyes to see so I can trust more. But it does this other thing too. It opens the door for God to work in this situation. Sometimes my resistance is like a lock on the door and God says, if you say thank you, that's a key to open the door. And I have a good plan here. So finally, even with all these ways to pray, I find I often pray the same things over and over to my father about my loved one and for the many others who come to a prayer for Prodigals asking for prayer.

27:27 So I'm just gonna read you a few of these so that if you don't wanna try to work on all the others, you can at least do this. So, Father, convict her of sin even as you convince her of your love. Yes, Lord, may she recognize her sin as sin and comprehend how that separates her from a relationship with you. May she then recall that you desire to give grace and mercy, to forgive her sin and to draw her back into a loving relationship with you. Another, may he realize that you extend open arms of love, mercy and grace.

28:15 When he chooses his own way and encounters negative consequences, may he turn and return to your welcome home. And another, break down the strongholds of the enemy of his soul. Hear and answer our requests on his behalf as we resist Satan and rebuke his demons. May our loved one grow weary of his chains and imprisonment and turn to you, asking you to give him liberty. Set him free. And then finally, give her a vision of the person you have made her to be and the good works you have already prepared for her.

29:02 May she understand that your way is always better than her way. May she remember that you're always working, even when her circumstances don't reveal it. May she determine to become the person you created her to be and to choose to do what you made her to do. So we've talked about prayer, a conversation with God, lament, praying scripture, forgiveness, the battle with the evil one, giving blessings, giving thanks, and some sample prayers. I hope some of these ways and words for praying are helpful to you.

29:47 Have you picked out one or two to begin with? I have a small booklet that expands on these prayers suggestions. Prayers for Your Wilderness Journey is available to you free to download when you click on the title in the show notes. Just click on that title and we will send that little booklet to you free. And it will give you a lot of what I've said here, but more as well. And next week, we will begin a series on the most powerful resource we have with our prodigals. The Holy Spirit. God bless you.