Grace Forgivest (episode 14)

0:00 Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness? Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15 years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey. Welcome back to our ongoing study on grace. Today we will consider one of the most radical realities of grace, grace forgives. My husband and I have traveled a great deal in our ministry.

0:44 In Josh's older teen years, when I began to travel more, a young man, a friend of ours and a friend to Josh, would stay at our home while we were gone. Josh said, is he my babysitter? We replied, oh no, he's just here to protect our home for what you and your friends might do to it. I don't think he thought that was funny. One winter an older woman friend, we will call her Britt, who had severe arthritis and lived in a very cold climate, asked if she could stay with us for a couple of months in the coldest time. We had room and we welcomed her. It was a gift to her, but she was a gift to us. While she was there, we were able to give our friend a break from house sitting and let her be in charge. One Friday evening, Josh and several of his friends showed up drunk. They made themselves at home, fixed some dinner, started doing drugs. Britt made an effort to engage them to break it up, but they were rude and even threatening. She was frightened and locked herself in her room. The next morning, the boys were gone, the house was a mess and Josh was still passed out. We arrived home later that day and what did we do when we saw the mess and heard from Britt what had happened? Well, we had a conversation with our son. He

2:20 confessed and even repented. He apologized to her and to us and he and I cleaned up the mess. Was there more? Well, there could have been, but if you listened to last week's episode, you might remember God's word to me. When you make mistakes with this boy, make them on the side of grace. So we chose grace. One of the biggest things grace does is forgive. What? You might say that's all that he gets for what he did. What about the truth of wrong actions and their consequences? Yes, there were consequences. And what about enabling poor choices? Well, we didn't want to enable, but God was clear. Extend grace, forgive, seek reconciliation, pursue conversation, not conflict. Keep your doors to your home and your arms open. It's not a balancing of truth and grace. It's a blending of 100% truth and 100% grace. And it takes supernatural wisdom to blend justice based on truth with benevolence based on grace.

3:48 God is our model here. When I want to make sure my prodigal experiences the painful results of his bad choices, I think of how God has responded to my many bad choices. Over and over he has given mercy, forgiveness, grace. His word underlines this repeatedly. Jesus said to Peter, when Peter said, how many times do I have to forgive someone? He says, if he sends against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, I repent, forgive him. Jesus on the cross said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Is that amazing? They're crucifying him, but they don't realize what they're doing. And Jesus chose to forgive.

4:48 And Jesus chose to forgive. You might remember from an early episode when I spoke of some of the causes of rebellious behavior. Often it has grown out of early trauma in a person's life, a child's life. And sometimes they really don't know what they're doing. Philip Pianci, author of a wonderful book, What's So Amazing About Grace, writes, like grace, forgiveness has about it the maddening quality of being undeserved, unmerited, unfair. The gospel of grace begins and ends with forgiveness. Grace is the only force in the universe powerful enough to break the chains that in slave generations, it goes from one generation to the next, this unforgiveness and grace alone melts that ungrace. Henry Nowan, a popular writer on true spirituality, comments on forgiveness. Even as I have said, I forgive you, I still wanted to hear the story that tells me I was right. I still wanted the satisfaction of receiving praise in return for being so forgiving. But God's forgiveness is unconditional. It comes from a

6:20 heart that does not demand anything for itself. It is this divine forgiveness that I have to practice in my daily life. It demands that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged, and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between the one whom I am asked to forgive. And again, from Philip Pianci, forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice maker than I am. I leave in God's hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy. Though wrong does not disappear when I forgive, it loses its grip on me and is taken over by God, who knows what to do. You may remember the story of the killing of nine members of the Emmanuel Church in South Carolina several years ago. When the young man who opened fire on the Bible study and killed these nine people, when he was on trial, the survivors came not to yell at him, not to accuse him. They came to express their forgiveness. How could they do that?

7:45 Forgiving is one of the evidences of the grace of God at work in our life, and forgiveness is one of the most powerful means of restoring relationship and winning back the hearts of our prodigals. Grace forgives. Following is a brief prayer you might want to pray, expressing your choice to forgive your loved prodigal for all he or she might have done to hurt you or others. You may have to pray it many times over the years. I certainly have. I'm going to read it through once quickly so that you can hear it, and then I'm going to read again more slowly so that if you want to, if you want to right now, choose to forgive that loved one who has hurt you in so many ways, you can do that.

8:42 Father, thank you for your mercy and grace toward me and for forgiving my sins through Jesus' death on the cross. Thank you that you forgive me over and over for repeated sins and new sins, big or small. I am so grateful for your grace. Lord, I need to forgive the name of your loved one. My loved one who has wronged me, hurt me, betrayed me, offended me, sinned against me. It is hard for me to do this. I am still hurt, angry, confused. So I come asking you for the power to forgive this person.

9:32 Fill me with your spirit and remind me of your love and mercy to me and to my loved one. By your spirit, I choose to forgive, say their name. I choose to extend grace and mercy to him or her, even as you have done for me, as you enable me to live at peace with this person I love. I ask that you bless this person in your love. Please may we be reconciled and our relationship healed. And if that does not happen, may I continue to love and forgive. Thank you that this is possible in the power of your spirit, in Jesus' name. Now I'm going to read a little more slowly this time so that you can actually pray along with me if that's what you would like to do.

10:31 Father, thank you for your mercy and grace toward me and for forgiving my sins through Jesus' death on the cross. Thank you that you forgive me over and over for repeated sins and for new sins, big or small. I am so grateful for your grace. Lord, I need to forgive and say their name. My loved one who has wronged me, hurt me, betrayed me, offended me, sinned against me.

11:12 It is hard for me to do this. I am still hurt, angry, confused. So I come asking you for the power to forgive. Say their name. Fill me with your spirit and remind me of your love and mercy to me and to say their name. By your spirit, I choose to forgive. Say the name. I choose to extend grace and mercy to him or her, even as you have done for me. I choose as you enable me to live at peace with this person I love.

12:02 I ask that you bless, say the name, in your love. Please may we be reconciled and our relationship healed. And if that does not happen, may I continue to love and forgive. Thank you that this is possible in the power of your spirit, in Jesus' name. So as we end this session, let me ask a couple of questions. What is your response when I say again that God told me to make my mistakes on the side of grace?

12:50 Does that sound impossible to you? Can you do that? Or and how might praying such a prayer of forgiveness that maybe you just prayed bring healing in your loved one, in your relationship with that person you love? May God begin a new work in your relationship with your prodigal as you seek to live out grace and to forgive and forgive. God bless you. Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen.

13:39 Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes and for more helpful information, resources, and information, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.