Grace Forgivest (episode 14)

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Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness?

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Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15

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years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey.

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Welcome back to our ongoing study on grace. Today we will consider one of the most radical

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realities of grace, grace forgives. My husband and I have traveled a great deal in our ministry.

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In Josh's older teen years, when I began to travel more, a young man, a friend of ours

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and a friend to Josh, would stay at our home while we were gone. Josh said, is he my babysitter?

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We replied, oh no, he's just here to protect our home for what you and your friends might do to it.

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I don't think he thought that was funny. One winter an older woman friend, we will call her

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Britt, who had severe arthritis and lived in a very cold climate, asked if she could stay with

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us for a couple of months in the coldest time. We had room and we welcomed her. It was a gift to her,

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but she was a gift to us. While she was there, we were able to give our friend a break from

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house sitting and let her be in charge. One Friday evening, Josh and several of his friends

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showed up drunk. They made themselves at home, fixed some dinner, started doing drugs. Britt

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made an effort to engage them to break it up, but they were rude and even threatening. She was

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frightened and locked herself in her room. The next morning, the boys were gone, the house was

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a mess and Josh was still passed out. We arrived home later that day and what did we do when we saw

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the mess and heard from Britt what had happened? Well, we had a conversation with our son. He

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confessed and even repented. He apologized to her and to us and he and I cleaned up the mess.

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Was there more? Well, there could have been, but if you listened to last week's episode,

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you might remember God's word to me. When you make mistakes with this boy, make them

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on the side of grace. So we chose grace. One of the biggest things grace does is forgive.

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What? You might say that's all that he gets for what he did. What about the truth of wrong actions

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and their consequences? Yes, there were consequences. And what about enabling poor choices? Well,

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we didn't want to enable, but God was clear. Extend grace, forgive, seek reconciliation,

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pursue conversation, not conflict. Keep your doors to your home and your arms open. It's not a

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balancing of truth and grace. It's a blending of 100% truth and 100% grace. And it takes

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supernatural wisdom to blend justice based on truth with benevolence based on grace.

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God is our model here. When I want to make sure my prodigal experiences the painful results of his

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bad choices, I think of how God has responded to my many bad choices. Over and over he has given

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mercy, forgiveness, grace. His word underlines this repeatedly. Jesus said to Peter, when Peter said,

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how many times do I have to forgive someone? He says, if he sends against you seven times in a day,

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and seven times comes back to you and says, I repent, forgive him. Jesus on the cross said,

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Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Is that amazing? They're

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crucifying him, but they don't realize what they're doing. And Jesus chose to forgive.

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And Jesus chose to forgive. You might remember from an early episode when I spoke of some of

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the causes of rebellious behavior. Often it has grown out of early trauma in a person's life,

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a child's life. And sometimes they really don't know what they're doing. Philip Pianci,

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author of a wonderful book, What's So Amazing About Grace, writes, like grace, forgiveness has

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about it the maddening quality of being undeserved, unmerited, unfair. The gospel of grace begins

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and ends with forgiveness. Grace is the only force in the universe powerful enough to break

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the chains that in slave generations, it goes from one generation to the next,

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this unforgiveness and grace alone melts that ungrace. Henry Nowan, a popular writer on true

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spirituality, comments on forgiveness. Even as I have said, I forgive you, I still wanted to hear

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the story that tells me I was right. I still wanted the satisfaction of receiving praise

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in return for being so forgiving. But God's forgiveness is unconditional. It comes from a

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heart that does not demand anything for itself. It is this divine forgiveness that I have to practice

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in my daily life. It demands that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged,

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and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between the one whom I am asked to

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forgive. And again, from Philip Pianci, forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am

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trusting that God is a better justice maker than I am. I leave in God's hands the scales that must

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balance justice and mercy. Though wrong does not disappear when I forgive, it loses its grip on me

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and is taken over by God, who knows what to do. You may remember the story of the killing of nine

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members of the Emmanuel Church in South Carolina several years ago. When the young man who opened

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fire on the Bible study and killed these nine people, when he was on trial, the survivors came

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not to yell at him, not to accuse him. They came to express their forgiveness. How could they do that?

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Forgiving is one of the evidences of the grace of God at work in our life, and forgiveness is one

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of the most powerful means of restoring relationship and winning back the hearts of our prodigals.

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Grace forgives. Following is a brief prayer you might want to pray, expressing your choice to

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forgive your loved prodigal for all he or she might have done to hurt you or others. You may have to

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pray it many times over the years. I certainly have. I'm going to read it through once quickly

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so that you can hear it, and then I'm going to read again more slowly so that if you want to,

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if you want to right now, choose to forgive that loved one who has hurt you in so many ways, you can do that.

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Father, thank you for your mercy and grace toward me and for forgiving my sins through Jesus' death

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on the cross. Thank you that you forgive me over and over for repeated sins and new sins, big or small.

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I am so grateful for your grace. Lord, I need to forgive the name of your loved one. My loved one

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who has wronged me, hurt me, betrayed me, offended me, sinned against me. It is hard for me to do this.

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I am still hurt, angry, confused. So I come asking you for the power to forgive this person.

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Fill me with your spirit and remind me of your love and mercy to me and to my loved one.

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By your spirit, I choose to forgive, say their name. I choose to extend grace and mercy to him

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or her, even as you have done for me, as you enable me to live at peace with this person I love.

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I ask that you bless this person in your love. Please may we be reconciled and our relationship healed.

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And if that does not happen, may I continue to love and forgive. Thank you that this is possible

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in the power of your spirit, in Jesus' name. Now I'm going to read a little more slowly this time

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so that you can actually pray along with me if that's what you would like to do.

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Father, thank you for your mercy and grace toward me and for forgiving my sins through Jesus' death on the cross.

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Thank you that you forgive me over and over for repeated sins and for new sins, big or small.

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I am so grateful for your grace. Lord, I need to forgive and say their name.

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My loved one who has wronged me, hurt me, betrayed me, offended me, sinned against me.

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It is hard for me to do this. I am still hurt, angry, confused. So I come asking you for the power to forgive.

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Say their name. Fill me with your spirit and remind me of your love and mercy to me and to say their name.

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By your spirit, I choose to forgive. Say the name. I choose to extend grace and mercy to him or her,

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even as you have done for me. I choose as you enable me to live at peace with this person I love.

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I ask that you bless, say the name, in your love. Please may we be reconciled and our relationship healed.

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And if that does not happen, may I continue to love and forgive.

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Thank you that this is possible in the power of your spirit, in Jesus' name.

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So as we end this session, let me ask a couple of questions.

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What is your response when I say again that God told me to make my mistakes on the side of grace?

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Does that sound impossible to you? Can you do that? Or and how might praying such a prayer of forgiveness that maybe you just prayed

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bring healing in your loved one, in your relationship with that person you love?

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May God begin a new work in your relationship with your prodigal as you seek to live out grace and to forgive and forgive.

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God bless you.

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Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode,

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please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen.

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Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement of Jesus.

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Don't forget, take a look at the show notes and for more helpful information, resources, and information,

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and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram

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at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.