“How Long, Lord?” (episode 17)

0:00 Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness? Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15 years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey. Welcome back. So glad you're with us today. I hope you listened to and enjoyed last week's podcast with Carol and Gene Kent. What an incredible story they have with their son in prison for life and what God has done in his life and in their lives and through them.

0:49 You really would want to listen to that. But today we're going to talk about the most common question that a person who has a prodigal tends to ask and that is, how long Lord? How long is this going to go on? And if they're just into it, just a few weeks or months or even a year, but if you've been in it already 10 years or 15, you're thinking, how long can this go on? For all of us, time is such a controlling element. We don't have enough time to do everything. We need to learn to manage our time and use it well. And as our children grow, we move between will this toddler phase ever end? And how did they grow up so fast? When things are difficult or boring, time drags. But when life is good, time flies.

1:54 But when you love a prodigal, it can seem like time stands still and you wonder, will this never end? I often found it difficult to accept that time was so out of my control. I'm something of a person who likes to be in control of my life. In the midst of such frustration, some years ago I wrote to the Prayer for Prodigals community this post. It's the waiting, isn't it? Will it ever end? Will change ever come? Will the pain, confusion, fear, anger, despair ever end? During the 15 years it took our son to begin to turn from his bad choices, we waited on our knees with tears clinging to Jesus. In the past few years things have been much better. He is not making the terrible choices he did for so long. I don't call him a prodigal now. He has become more responsible and hardworking.

3:06 We have a great relationship. There is trust. But still we wait because we don't know what hard situation might trigger a return to addictions and other choices. So you ask, how did that good time last? Let me tell you about the year that followed. It was very challenging. His marriage fell apart. In his despair he returned to old patterns, made choices of the past. A brief reunion with his wife crashed and he went into deep depression, even threatening suicide. One night he went to his wife's family's home where she was staying. He knocked on the door. She wouldn't invite him in, but he said, I'm so sorry.

4:05 It's all my fault. I am so sorry. Will you forgive me? Can we get back together? She slammed the door in his face. He climbed in his truck. He had his gun from his armed guard job and he headed into the woods. Then he texted me. He said, pray I go to heaven. So desperately I texted back, then called. No response. I called his best friend and asked him to call and talk to him and talk him out of this terrible choice. About an hour later my son texted. He had his gun in his hand, ready to pull the trigger. But somehow in an hour of texting back and forth with constant prayer, he put his gun down and drove home.

5:02 No, we were not out of the wilderness yet. And I said many times to the Lord, I thought it was time. Isn't it time Lord for change that lasts? Are we doing this again? How long this time Lord? And if you love a prodigal, I know you understand. We know that God is bigger than time. He's made that clear in scripture. Moses said, a thousand years in your sight Lord are like a day that has just gone by or like a watch in the night. Not exactly how we feel about some of the days that we live. David said, but I trust in you Lord. You are my God. My times are in your hands. And we can say that, but can we keep trusting as the time stretches out? Isaiah said, for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord. Many times, many days, even many years we struggle to accept, to act on, to live by, to rest in, to believe these truths. It

6:35 seems too hard, too long, too uncertain. How long Lord will it ever end? But these statements are true. God says, you just think it's a long time, but really in my economy it's a day. And with David we say my time is in your hands, but can we let it go to be in God's hands? And can we accept that God's ways are right and true even if they're not what we want? These are reality and that is what we're going to look at and delve into and listen for in the next weeks. God's perspective on time for our prodigals, for us, for the kingdom for eternity. One verse has especially sustained me over these years. One of my very favorites in Isaiah we read, I am the Lord in its time I will do this swiftly. In the New Living Translation it reads, at the right time I the Lord will make it happen. I want to take a minute for us to consider phrase by phrase what the Lord is saying to us through these words that were first given to the children of Israel just before their return from 70

8:06 years of captivity. I am the Lord. Such a needed reminder for me. Sometimes I think I am in control. No, He's the Lord. Yes, I have many good ideas, plans, schedules for how things should play out for my life and for my loved one, but God reminds me who is in control. In its time, that is at the right time. I so want its time to be now, to be my time. It rarely is. I, this I of course is God, not I. Judy, will do this. The passage refers to the children of Israel returning from captivity, but the same is true for us and our desires. We cannot make it happen, but our God can. Swiftly, now that's my favorite word. I love that. Soon, now, no more waiting. But that swiftness is rarely in my time. Rather it is in God's God-ordained time. As I have been in the Word asking God what He wants to say to me and to us about time, I have looked at the concepts of days

9:40 and years, today and tomorrow, and especially the idea of waiting. Oh, how rich were my findings, how great God is, how puny I am, how intentional God is, all in love and with grace and always at the right time. So think about this. In the verse we just took apart, the phrase, it's time, seems to imply the particular time needed for this good thing to happen from God's point of view. Having that perspective that it's God's time and it's right, how might that give you hope as you wait for your prodigal to return? God bless you.

10:32 Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes. And for more helpful information, resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417.

11:14 Until next week.