“How Long, Lord?” (episode 17)

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Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness?

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Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15

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years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey.

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Welcome back. So glad you're with us today. I hope you listened to and enjoyed last week's

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podcast with Carol and Gene Kent. What an incredible story they have with their son

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in prison for life and what God has done in his life and in their lives and through them.

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You really would want to listen to that. But today we're going to talk about the most common

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question that a person who has a prodigal tends to ask and that is, how long Lord? How

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long is this going to go on? And if they're just into it, just a few weeks or months or

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even a year, but if you've been in it already 10 years or 15, you're thinking, how long

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can this go on? For all of us, time is such a controlling element. We don't have enough

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time to do everything. We need to learn to manage our time and use it well. And as our

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children grow, we move between will this toddler phase ever end? And how did they grow up so

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fast? When things are difficult or boring, time drags. But when life is good, time flies.

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But when you love a prodigal, it can seem like time stands still and you wonder, will

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this never end? I often found it difficult to accept that time was so out of my control.

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I'm something of a person who likes to be in control of my life. In the midst of such

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frustration, some years ago I wrote to the Prayer for Prodigals community this post.

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It's the waiting, isn't it? Will it ever end? Will change ever come? Will the pain,

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confusion, fear, anger, despair ever end? During the 15 years it took our son to begin

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to turn from his bad choices, we waited on our knees with tears clinging to Jesus. In

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the past few years things have been much better. He is not making the terrible choices he did

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for so long. I don't call him a prodigal now. He has become more responsible and hardworking.

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We have a great relationship. There is trust. But still we wait because we don't know

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what hard situation might trigger a return to addictions and other choices. So you ask,

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how did that good time last? Let me tell you about the year that followed. It was very

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challenging. His marriage fell apart. In his despair he returned to old patterns, made

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choices of the past. A brief reunion with his wife crashed and he went into deep depression,

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even threatening suicide. One night he went to his wife's family's home where she was

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staying. He knocked on the door. She wouldn't invite him in, but he said, I'm so sorry.

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It's all my fault. I am so sorry. Will you forgive me? Can we get back together? She

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slammed the door in his face. He climbed in his truck. He had his gun from his armed guard

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job and he headed into the woods. Then he texted me. He said, pray I go to heaven. So

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desperately I texted back, then called. No response. I called his best friend and asked

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him to call and talk to him and talk him out of this terrible choice. About an hour later

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my son texted. He had his gun in his hand, ready to pull the trigger. But somehow in

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an hour of texting back and forth with constant prayer, he put his gun down and drove home.

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No, we were not out of the wilderness yet. And I said many times to the Lord, I thought

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it was time. Isn't it time Lord for change that lasts? Are we doing this again? How long

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this time Lord? And if you love a prodigal, I know you understand. We know that God is

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bigger than time. He's made that clear in scripture. Moses said, a thousand years in

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your sight Lord are like a day that has just gone by or like a watch in the night. Not

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exactly how we feel about some of the days that we live. David said, but I trust in you

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Lord. You are my God. My times are in your hands. And we can say that, but can we keep

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trusting as the time stretches out? Isaiah said, for my thoughts are not your thoughts,

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neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord. Many times, many days, even many years

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we struggle to accept, to act on, to live by, to rest in, to believe these truths. It

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seems too hard, too long, too uncertain. How long Lord will it ever end? But these statements

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are true. God says, you just think it's a long time, but really in my economy it's

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a day. And with David we say my time is in your hands, but can we let it go to be in

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God's hands? And can we accept that God's ways are right and true even if they're not

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what we want? These are reality and that is what we're going to look at and delve into

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and listen for in the next weeks. God's perspective on time for our prodigals, for us, for the

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kingdom for eternity. One verse has especially sustained me over these years. One of my very

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favorites in Isaiah we read, I am the Lord in its time I will do this swiftly. In the

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New Living Translation it reads, at the right time I the Lord will make it happen. I want

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to take a minute for us to consider phrase by phrase what the Lord is saying to us through

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these words that were first given to the children of Israel just before their return from 70

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years of captivity. I am the Lord. Such a needed reminder for me. Sometimes I think

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I am in control. No, He's the Lord. Yes, I have many good ideas, plans, schedules for

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how things should play out for my life and for my loved one, but God reminds me who is

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in control. In its time, that is at the right time. I so want its time to be now, to be

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my time. It rarely is. I, this I of course is God, not I. Judy, will do this. The passage

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refers to the children of Israel returning from captivity, but the same is true for us

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and our desires. We cannot make it happen, but our God can. Swiftly, now that's my

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favorite word. I love that. Soon, now, no more waiting. But that swiftness is rarely

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in my time. Rather it is in God's God-ordained time. As I have been in the Word asking God

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what He wants to say to me and to us about time, I have looked at the concepts of days

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and years, today and tomorrow, and especially the idea of waiting. Oh, how rich were my

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findings, how great God is, how puny I am, how intentional God is, all in love and with

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grace and always at the right time. So think about this. In the verse we just took apart,

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the phrase, it's time, seems to imply the particular time needed for this good thing

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to happen from God's point of view. Having that perspective that it's God's time and

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it's right, how might that give you hope as you wait for your prodigal to return? God

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bless you.

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Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed

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today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever

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you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement

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of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes. And for more helpful information,

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resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find

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me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417.

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Until next week.