Living-loving like Jesus: Forgiveness, episode 135

0:00 If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here at When You Love a Prodigal and also help and hope for your own life journey. So how did you do in exercising patience this past week? If patience was a challenge, today's clothing choice may be even more challenging. So be sure to jot down the things you want to put into practice. It was just a little thing. My friend forgot we had a brunch appointment. Please forgive me, Judy. Of course, I forgave her.

0:42 And after all, I had just done the same thing to a friend just weeks before. I totally forgot we were having breakfast together. And she forgave me. Forgiveness is not always so easy, though, is it, when the offense is bigger, more hurtful, and even devastating. How do you say, I forgive you, to the scammer who stole your identity, or to the man who raped your daughter, or like our adopted son, to the dad who never showed up, and the mother who consistently chose her addictions?

1:23 Hard to forgive those kinds of things, isn't it? Does God really want us to? How do you ask forgiveness, not just forgive someone, but ask forgiveness from a friend you have hurt, from a stranger you harmed with your carelessness, for unkind words, yelled at a child? God is clear. He said, we must forgive, and we must ask for forgiveness when we have harmed or hurt someone. Forgiveness is an essential garment in our wardrobe as a child of God.

2:03 Surely Peter thought he was being very magnanimous in his suggesting to Jesus that he would forgive someone seven times. But Jesus said, I tell you not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Infinite, really. You don't stop forgiving, even if they've hurt you over and over. And some of our protocols may need to be forgiven seventy-seven times or even more. Paul tells us that an evidence of a forgiving heart is real love, which we're looking at more next week, that keeps no record of being wronged.

2:50 Hmm. I actually have kept plenty of records like this story. I did it again. Our prodigal and a friend were with us, my husband and me. We were telling stories. One of my favorite activities. I couldn't resist. I told not one, but two stories of bad choices our son had made in the past. He did not laugh. He even looked hurt. He was doing much better and didn't really want to be reminded of the choices he used to make.

3:32 And yet I was bringing them up to his friend. I asked for his forgiveness, which he gave because we'd gotten pretty good at forgiving each other. Several times I have had to apologize for bringing up his past choices. Clearly, I have kept some record of wrongs. Of course, I am a writer and speaker and stories are my currency. And there's great benefit in remembering the past and learning from it and moving into a better future. But probably you have, as I have, let the ways those choices past or current have touched or hurt or offended or angered me, each of us.

4:23 And I have a bigger in our minds. I have a mental list and in some cases I have a written list of some of the offenses that our son did. Some are minor irritations. Others are legitimate wrongs. And some are deep wounds of the way that he is hurt. And yet scripture says love doesn't hold on, doesn't keep a record of those offenses. Perhaps you remember when your loved one yelled and cursed at you. When she lied to your face intentionally deceitful and not at all remorseful.

5:08 How frightened you were for your other children when he threatened you. And you waited up all night not knowing where she was and what she was doing. When you bailed him out of jail. The night the police knocked on your door to tell you about the accident she was in. On and on the list goes, you might be recounting some of those wrongs right now. Then, oh yeah, there are the words that you have hurled at your loved one. You always lie to me. You're never responsible.

5:49 Will I ever be able to trust you again? You never care about anyone but yourself. If you do that again, don't bother to come home. You know, you've probably said words like that. I have. These words, these thoughts reflect the reality of keeping a record of wrongs. Our love protocols wrong themselves, others, and those who love them. Sometimes those wrongs pile up and threaten to crush us. How can we trust, believe, or hope? How can we forgive?

6:33 Because Jesus has shown us how. He came in love and was rejected. He healed and was accused instead of thanked. He was scourged and crucified bearing our sins while the crowd hurled insults. Soldiers beat him and the Pharisees smiled. He could have called legions of angels. He could have destroyed them on the spot. He could have said, I'll be back and I'll get even. But he didn't. He forgave them. And that's what he asks us to do.

7:14 As we let the spirit fill us, I think we talked about the spirit filling us on each of these things to enable us to choose to wear these pieces of clothing. As we let the spirit fill us with the same love that Christ has, we are freed from making our lists, from keeping a record of the ways that our protocols have wronged us. And we are empowered to forgive and to truly love. Jesus is our example. It's not hard for me to be overwhelmed with wonder and gratitude at how Jesus has forgiven me.

7:55 All my sin, my many sins, he took on himself because he loves me. And as he hung on that cross, he looked out over the crowd, the scoffers, the executioners, and you and me and our protocols, and he said these amazing words, Father, forgive them. They do not know what they are doing. Now, I could argue that they did indeed know what they were doing, but it was very intentional. And I can easily forgive the mistakes, the forgetfulness, the unintentional hurts.

8:38 But when someone chooses to hurt or to harm or to speak maliciously or to steal or lie or abuse, can we forgive? It's what Jesus says we are to do, forgive as he has forgiven us. Paul tells us, if any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. As the Lord forgave willingly in love and mercy, in the spirit, as in all the impossible requests and requirements Jesus has given us, and there really are many of them beyond our abilities to put on that cloth either to act in a way that Jesus has asked us to.

9:30 He did it first. Everything he asks of us, he's already done it. He's demonstrated that it's possible not because we're good or because we're so strong, but because he has sent his spirit to live in us and to give us like the mind of Christ and to do a transforming work in us that enables us to draw on the strength of Jesus to do what he's asked us to do. And I have found when I forgive or ask forgiveness, which sometimes is harder, at least two people get set free, the one who is forgiven and the one who forgives.

10:17 So what about you? Is there someone that you need to forgive? Maybe you're prodigal, maybe someone else, but someone who has harmed you, offended you, that you need to forgive, but maybe also you have hurt or harmed or offended someone, and you need to ask them to forgive you. Next week, we're going to get dressed up in love. God bless you.