Loving Like Jesus, episode 100

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If you love a prodigal, you can discover or help

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and hope for your wilderness journey right here

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at When You Love a Prodigal,

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and also help and hope for your own life journey.

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It is amazing to me that this is episode 100.

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I had never even listened to a podcast

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when I was asked to do this When You Love a Prodigal podcast.

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But my team and my husband said when I was reluctant,

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you can't turn down this great opportunity

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God has given you.

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So I said yes.

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And it has been such a privilege to travel with you

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on your prodigal wilderness journey,

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learning with you, hopefully helping and encouraging you.

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I have been so blessed as I did each podcast,

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as I was reminded of all that God had done in my life

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and is still and will do again,

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and how much the hard journey I had with our son

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is blessing you.

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Yeah, what a blessing to be able to turn our hard years

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and our wilderness into words and stories to benefit you,

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and I hope many others.

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And if you want and haven't, you can hear his story.

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He's there telling it in episode 50.

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I believe that our highest calling in life with Jesus

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is to reflect the image of God, the likeness of Jesus

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to a very hurting world and every person stumbling around

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in their own prodigal wilderness.

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And I believe that Jesus gave us the secret for ourselves,

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for our wanderers and for the world.

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That is love, better than Coke,

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better than any other song or person you've heard talking

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about the importance of love,

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because we're talking about love like Jesus loved.

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In John 13, 34, Jesus made this clear

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and very strong statement, a new command I give you.

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He says, you've heard commands about loving God

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with everything in you, but this is a new command

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that you love one another.

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Then he adds, as I have loved you,

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so you must love one another.

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But he didn't stop there.

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He expanded on what that love looked like.

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In John chapter 15, he says, my command is this,

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love each other as I have loved you.

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But then he defines what that love looks like.

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He says, greater love has no one than this,

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to lay down one's life for one's friends or one's prodigal.

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Can I do that?

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Can you, can you love?

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Can we love like Jesus?

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Well, he knew we couldn't do it on our own,

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so he provided help.

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He says, going on down in John 14, he says,

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I will ask the Father, and he will give you

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another advocate to help you and to be with you forever.

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You know him, for he lives with you,

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and soon when Jesus left, he says, he will be in you.

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The advocate, the Holy Spirit,

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whom the Father will send in my name, Jesus says,

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will teach you all things and will remind you

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of everything I have said to you,

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even to love one another as I have loved you.

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So he said, yes, that's a challenging command.

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Love as Jesus loved, even to the place

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of laying down our lives,

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well, maybe we won't have to do that,

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but in a sense, when we are loving our prodigals,

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it is like laying down our lives in so many ways.

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He gives us the will and the power to do whatever it takes

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to care for and to win and to love those who are given us

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so much trouble.

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So think for a minute, to whom do you want

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or need to show this kind of love?

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Maybe even for yourself, or maybe for your spouse,

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your children, maybe some other people in your life,

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but certainly for your prodigal.

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So as I continue and help us understand what it looks like

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to live and love like Jesus,

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keep in mind who you want to focus on,

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who you want to love like Jesus loved,

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even though it's not easy.

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So let's make this tangible.

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Again, will you need to give your life?

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Probably not, but it's possible.

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So what are ways we lay down our lives?

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Well, we give time.

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In fact, time is a big one for me.

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My husband would often ask me, could we go do something

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or could I do something?

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And I would say, that's not in my schedule,

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because time was so precious to get things done.

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Serving, some people have a gift of serving.

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So that doesn't count as laying down your life.

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I'm just joking.

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But for them, it's easy.

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For some of us, serving is not the gift that we have,

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and that's a challenge.

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Sometimes it's listening.

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Our prodigal's sometimes yelling at us,

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but sometimes they just want someone to listen.

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And we usually are so busy thinking

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about what we're going to say,

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that we don't listen to what they want to say.

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Maybe all they need is some encouragement,

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and they'll make some better choices.

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Gratefully, the apostle Paul joins Jesus

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and gives us a lot of help,

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clarifying throughout his letters

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what it looks like to live and love like Jesus.

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So first, of course, we go to 1 Corinthians 13.

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And I know you know it,

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but I find it helpful to be reminded.

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So I'm gonna just read it very slowly.

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And each description, let it sink in,

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and maybe ask yourself, how am I doing with this one?

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So love is patient.

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Love is kind.

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It does not envy, it does not boast.

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It is not proud.

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You know, that was a real important one.

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My husband, who was not a proud person,

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the Lord called him up on the fact

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that he was judging our son.

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And one time, my husband was unhappy with our son,

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and he was just thinking,

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he's just making bad choices all the time,

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and he's lazy and he won't work.

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And God said to him,

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so, Steve, how big is the gap between you and Josh?

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And Steve thought, it's pretty big.

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And then he said,

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and how big is the gap between you and me

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as far as our pride, for example?

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And Steve says, oh Lord, so much greater.

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And so it helped him to begin

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to not judge everything our son did,

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but to look instead for ways to help him,

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to encourage him, to love him.

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Love does not dishonor others.

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It is not self-seeking.

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Here's one.

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It is not easily angered.

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So when was the last time

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that you were angry with your loved one?

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Or someone else that God's pointing out that you could love?

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Love does not delight in evil,

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but rejoices with the truth.

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And then Paul adds,

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love always protects, always trusts,

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always hopes, always perseveres.

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Love never fails.

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So let's pause for a minute.

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Which of these would be a way you could show love

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to a hard to love person in your life?

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Paul has more help for us.

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Thank you, Paul.

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In Colossians three, we read this.

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Therefore, as God's chosen people,

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holy and dearly loved, he's talking to us, okay?

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Were God's people holy?

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Well, and for sure, were dearly loved.

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He says, clothe yourselves, that is put on.

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Wear this like clothing, okay?

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Compassion, kindness,

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humility, gentleness.

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Oh, and then patience again.

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He goes on and says, bear with each other.

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Forgive one another if any of you

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have a grievance against someone.

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Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

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And over all these virtues put on,

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love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

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So as we seek to cooperate with God

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as he's working in our lives

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to give us compassion and kindness,

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humility, gentleness, patience, forgiving.

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He says it's love that's gonna pull that all together.

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So think for a minute about your last conversation

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or interaction with your prodigal.

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Did love cover it?

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And then in Romans 12, Paul gives us more help

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on what it looks like to love like Jesus.

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This whole section in a Bible heading is love in action.

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First, love must be sincere,

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hate what is evil, cling to what is good.

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Let's see.

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Hate what is evil, that could be the evil

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that our loved person is doing,

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but it could also be the attitudes of our heart.

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But cling to what is good.

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Be devoted to one another in love.

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Oh, here's a good one.

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Honor one another above yourselves.

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Not easy.

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Not easy.

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Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor.

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Keep wanting to grow, keep wanting to help your loved one

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to be loved and to grow and become

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the person God created them to be.

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Serve the Lord, be joyful in hope.

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Sometimes living with a prodigal

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seems to steal joy away from us.

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But love is gonna be joyful increasingly.

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Patient in affliction.

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There's that word patient again.

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Faithful in prayer.

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Oh, we haven't mentioned that.

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Probably the next most important,

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maybe the most important thing we can do

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for our loved ones is to pray for them.

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We should pray for ourselves too,

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since obviously as we're reading through this,

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we have some areas to grow in.

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But we can pray for them always.

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And sometimes we just need to shut up

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and just go to the Lord and talk to him about them.

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Because he's the one who can really

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do the transformation in them.

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He goes on to say,

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bless those who persecute you.

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Bless and do not curse.

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Speaking of cursing, next week we're going to talk about

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turning curses into blessings.

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That sounds almost impossible.

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I can remember not only one time

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that Josh would come home drunk and angry

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and get mad at me,

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though I hadn't done anything to be part of that.

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And then he would go out in our front yard

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and start screaming and yelling and cursing

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as loud as he could.

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And of course we had neighbors.

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And so I'm going out there trying to convince him to come in

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and we would talk inside.

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But he says, don't curse in response.

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It's so easy when they are saying ugly things

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for us to let ugly words come out of our mouths.

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He says, don't do that.

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He says, rejoice with those who rejoice,

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mourn with those who mourn.

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Live in harmony with one another.

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Don't be proud.

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Be willing to associate with people of low position.

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Do not be conceited.

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So these are pretty high standards

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that Paul has set for us as he describes

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what it means to love like Jesus loves.

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And love is the way that we woo

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our loved ones back to us, back to the Lord,

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back to better choices in their lives.

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In Romans 2, 4, it tells us that God says,

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it's not following all the rules that will work.

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He says, what will work is what I have done.

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I woo people to myself with loving kindness.

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And that's what God's asking us to do.

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And again, it's not impossible because he's given us

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the spirit of God living in us.

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We have the means to love like that.

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But now I imagine you're thinking,

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but my prodigal takes advantage of me if I do those things.

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They might do that, yes.

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And they certainly don't love back.

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Well, they may say that and act it,

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but my guess in most cases, there is some love there

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and we can help to draw it out.

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What my kid needs, my prodigal needs is tough love.

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And if you've been listening to these podcasts,

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you know that that's not my favorite approach.

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Yes, we need to have some standards.

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We need to have some boundaries for us and our homes

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and what's allowed, that's okay.

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But how we tell them that, how we establish those,

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makes all the difference in the world.

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And that can be done in love.

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And rather than coming up with anger against them

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and saying, if you're gonna do that, then you're leaving.

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Or if you're gonna do that, you're grounded for a year,

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whatever we might say.

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If we can come to them even in times of needed correction,

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if we can come in love, it can make all the difference.

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As I said two weeks ago,

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in the last episode we did on Mercy,

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love does need courage and it needs some firmness.

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But even that must be done with love.

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We have to set those boundaries to find the consequences,

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but we do it with love and grace.

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Now I know you're tired of me saying that maybe,

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but it is the way.

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Jesus said, love them like I love them.

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And I wooed them with loving kindness.

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Now I confess that I did not always speak and respond

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with love with my prodigal.

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But the Lord was patient and faithful as he showed me

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over and over how much he loved me and my prodigal.

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And assured me that as I let the Holy Spirit fill me

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and remind me and guide me, I had the power,

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I had the desire, I had the ways to love like Jesus.

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Jesus knew we couldn't do it on our own.

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He said, I'm sending my spirit to live in you.

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And as you let him fill you up and be in control,

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he will give you what you need to love like Jesus.

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It's Jesus' new command, love as I have loved,

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but with supernatural power to do it.

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He had that power and he's given it to us.

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So take a minute, ask God where he wants you to grow

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and learn to love like Jesus,

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especially to your loved wanderer.

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Then thank him for the help he has promised

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through the Holy Spirit.

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Today, choose to pray, to speak, to act

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with the love of Jesus flowing through you.

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Look for an opportunity to let the love of Jesus

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flow through you to your prodigal

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and any other hard to love person in your life.

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Thanks for celebrating with me

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on this 100th episode of the podcast.

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Why don't you celebrate by telling your friends about it,

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someone you know with a prodigal.

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We usually find out about each other, don't we?

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So let them know about this podcast.

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You can subscribe, you know, so that it comes to you

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in your email every week a reminder

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that the podcast is coming up.

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But mostly seek to live out what God shows you.

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Lots of love flowing through you,

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grace coming through you.

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God bless you.