Prayers of Blessing and Forgiveness, episode 35 (rebroadcast)

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Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness?

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Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15

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years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey.

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Last week we looked at prayer for the battle. We know there is an enemy pursuing our loved

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ones and I hope you found some help in praying for your loved one in that battle. Our son

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had lied, not the first time. This time with sincere assurance that he was speaking the

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truth. When I knew it was a lie, anger overwhelmed me. Harsh words came from my mouth. I almost

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said, don't bother to come home. Fortunately, God seemed to stop the last word, home, before

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it came out and he gave me calm, truth, and words of blessing. When was the last time

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you spoke words of blessing into the life of your prodigal?

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Blessings are words of life. Not long ago I read John Ortberg's book, Soul Keeping,

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Caring for the Most Important Part of You. In it, John shares abundantly from his years

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of being mentored by Dallas Willard. I especially liked the chapter on blessing. The soul needs

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blessing. I've written a lot about blessings and I've written a lot of blessings for people.

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I know it's a key to restoring the hearts of our loved ones to us and to God. But this

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chapter again reminded me how important it is. John quotes Willard, blessing is the projection

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of good into the life of another. Certainly, we desire that for our loved one.

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Dallas Willard told Ortberg many times that the two ways we impact people with our words

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are to bless them or curse them, usually one or the other. Sometimes we aren't aware if

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we are blessing or cursing, but we can certainly intentionally choose to bless. When I raise

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my voice or give a sharp retort or use always or never, I am probably cursing my son, but

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I want to choose to bless, to encourage, affirm, speak truth with love, to speak words of life

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to my loved one. I think you would want the same. God chooses to bless us. Here's a familiar

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blessing from the word that he gives. It says, the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord

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make his face shine on you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you

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and give you peace. Sometimes I have spoken those very words and other blessings aloud

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directly to my loved one. Sometimes he rejected the blessing in anger, but usually it diffused

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a situation or calmed him down. More often, my blessings have been prayers or have been

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blessings of action, of grace and mercy extended. I have written many blessings for people I

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love, often praying them for a person I care for. I usually ask God for the scriptures

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that I should be praying for my prodigal or someone else. Then I turn those scriptures

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into blessings. Here's a blessing that I wrote for my and all other law prodigals several

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years ago. They'll probably work for yours as well. I pray it will give you the heart

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and words to bless your loved one. Remember, I'm taking scripture and turning it into

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a blessing. I call what I'm going to be reading to you a number of blessings. A blessing for

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a loved child. From Micah 7, may you rise when you fall and come out of the darkness

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into God's light. In Jeremiah, we read, may you be built up, not torn down, planted, not

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uprooted. May you return to God with all your heart. Ephesians 2, may you hope in the future

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of God's good plans for you. And again in Jeremiah, may you comprehend that it gives God joy to

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always do good to you. And in Psalm 90, may nothing of the world, the flesh, or the devil

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satisfy you but only God. Joel says, may all the days and years of your life stolen by

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the evil one be restored. Isaiah says, oh I love this, may the comfort, peace, and healing

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of God bring praise to your lips. Hosea, this is a favorite, may you feel cords of loving

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kindness as the Father bends down to feed you. Joel says, may God pour out his Holy

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Spirit on you. In Romans, may you know that in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation.

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And again in Romans, may you be convinced that nothing can separate you from the love

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of God. And in Ephesians, may the eyes of your heart be enlightened that you might know

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God. And again in Ephesians, and may God bless you more than you can ask or imagine. I would

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really encourage you as you're in the Word of God and you see a scripture that you wish

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would be true for your loved one or come true in your family, that you would take that and

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turn it into a blessing. So it's more than just a prayer, though a prayer it is, but

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it's also speaking life to the person that you're blessing. Another important prayer

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that we really need is forgiveness, both to give it and to be willing to receive it. Our

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prodigal wronged us many times over the years. He often lied to us. I already established

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that. He cursed at us. He stole from us. He embarrassed us in front of friends and neighbors.

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He disrespected us. You know what? Those things rarely impact our relationship now. Why? How

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is that possible? Because we have forgiven him. All relationships require forgiveness

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sometimes. We are flawed people who hurt others, even those we love. Scripture is abundantly

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clear that God wants us to learn to forgive, even though people have wronged us and don't

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deserve forgiveness. Paul sums it up with this instruction, bear with each other, forgive

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one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord has forgiven

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you. And of course, our model is Jesus himself, who said from the cross with the people below

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him who were crucifying him. He says, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they

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are doing. We need to forgive both big and seemingly impossible to forgive things, as

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well as little hurts that happen every day. What if they haven't apologized? Even then

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we're to forgive. I know it's not easy. Several months ago when I was talking about

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grace I shared a prayer for forgiving, a prayer to help us take the step to release someone

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who has hurt or offended us. Because of the magnitude of forgiveness and the necessity

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of it, I'm including it here again. So just think of as I pray through this, read through

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this, think of something that you need to forgive your loved one for. Father, thank

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you for your mercy and grace toward me and for giving my sins through your son's death

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on the cross. Thank you that you forgive me over and over. For repeated sins and new sins,

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big or small, I am so grateful for your mercy and grace. Lord, I need to forgive. Say the

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name. My loved one who has wronged me, hurt me, betrayed me, offended me, sinned against

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me, whatever it is, it's hard for me to do this. I am still hurt, angry, confused. So

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I come asking you for the power to forgive him or her. Fill me with your spirit and remind

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me of your love and mercy to me and put the name in there. By your spirit, I choose to

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forgive my loved one. I choose to extend grace and mercy to him or her even as you have

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done for me. I choose as you enable me to live at peace with this person in your love.

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Please may we be reconciled and our relationship healed. And if that does not happen, may I

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continue to love and forgive. Thank you that this is possible in the power of your spirit

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and in the name of Jesus. But sometimes we are the ones who have offended our loved ones.

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I can definitely think of times when I've had to say, please forgive me to our son.

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I might have said harsh words or made degrading comments or unfair discipline or threats or

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caustic attitudes and these all damage the one we love as well as hurt our relationship.

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Then I or you or all of us are the ones who need to ask forgiveness from our prodigal,

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our loved one. This requires the challenging choice to humble ourselves and admit offense,

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our sin. A simple prayer like this can help. Say their name. I was wrong to name the offense.

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It's not going to get very far if we're just saying, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Name

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what you did. I know that was hurtful to you. Our relationship matters to me and I desire

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to relate to you in a better way. Will you forgive me? Thank you so much. And often they

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will. More often than not. One more person might also need to be forgiven. You might

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have to forgive yourself. Though we are often at the receiving end of wrong and offense,

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we still find ourselves saying, I didn't handle that well or even I really blew that.

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So be sure to extend mercy to yourself as well. So we need to bless our loved ones and

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we need to forgive them and we need to ask them to forgive us and then we need to forgive

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ourselves. Think about this. What blessings might you speak to or pray for your prodigal?

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How could you bless them? And do you need to have a conversation about forgiving with

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your loved one now or soon? God bless you. Thank you for joining me today on the When

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You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate,

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and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Your review helps the show reach

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more people with the hope and encouragement of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the

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show notes and for more helpful information, resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com.

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It's Douglass with two S's. You can find me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at

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JudyDouglass417. Until next week.