Oct. 15, 2024
Remember to Breathe, episode 154
About 10 years ago we went through a scary time with our adopted son.
Josh had twice, in response to great disappointments, threatened to take his life. We reasoned with him, assured him of our love, stayed with him. Gratefully, he backed down, but we were on alert.
Josh’s birth grandfather—Papa—was the most important person in his life. Papa was slowly failing, with various ailments claiming more and more of his 88-year-old body. We were holding our breath.
Have you been in that place with your prodigal—fearful of what the next steps might be? Don’t miss this episode.
Judy’s Resources:
- Read When Life Gets Scary: https://bit.ly/489RAh3
- Read Words of Hope: https://bit.ly/484KjPP
- Join the Prayer for Prodigals community here: https://bit.ly/3uyhSWQ
- Sign up for Judy’s monthly newsletter here: https://bit.ly/39TBlYt
- Purchase a copy of the When You Love a Prodigal book for you or a loved one here: https://amzn.to/3RuiUx9
Stay connected:
- Website: judydouglass.com/podcast
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- Instagram: instagram.com/judydouglass417
- Twitter: twitter.com/judydouglass417
- Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/judyddouglass/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JudyDouglass
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000
If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here at the When You Love a Prodigal podcast.
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:14,000
And also help and hope for your own life journey.
3
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:24,000
As you listen today, as always, be alert for ideas or actions that could be helpful to you and your current journey.
4
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:34,000
And jot them down if you're anything like me, even though I say I'll remember that and then I don't. I need to write it down.
5
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,000
So today let me tell you a story.
6
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:44,000
A little over 10 years ago, we went through a scary time with our adopted son.
7
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:51,000
Josh had twice in response to great disappointments threatened to take his life.
8
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,000
That was scary.
9
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:58,000
The reason with him assured him of our love stayed with him.
10
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:04,000
Gratefully, he backed down both times, but we were on alert.
11
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:11,000
Josh's birth grandfather, Papa, was the most important person in his life.
12
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:19,000
Papa was slowly failing with various ailments, claiming more and more of his 88-year-old body.
13
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,000
We were holding our breath.
14
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:32,000
We were deeply concerned that Josh might decide he couldn't go on if he lost his grandfather, that he might actually take his life when Papa died.
15
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,000
Josh and I had gone to visit him on Josh's birthday.
16
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,000
The last time we'd seen him, he seemed fine.
17
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,000
His usual, chatty self.
18
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,000
He and Josh had good conversations.
19
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:52,000
But when we arrived this time, it was as though the breath was knocked out of us.
20
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,000
Papa was sleeping most of the time.
21
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:02,000
We went ahead to celebrate Josh's birthday, and I went over to him with a cheery,
22
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,000
Papa, wake up, it's time for birthday cake.
23
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,000
He raised his head.
24
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,000
He actually recognized me.
25
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:15,000
He said something briefly, and then he was out again.
26
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:20,000
We finally did get him to eat a bite of birthday cake.
27
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:26,000
But that's all that we got to communicate with him for that visit.
28
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:31,000
We returned two days later, holding our breath.
29
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,000
Would he have revived?
30
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:37,000
No, the same or worse.
31
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:44,000
Josh stayed the rest of the week there, skipped his job, told him his grandfather was dying.
32
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:51,000
He was loving on his grandmother, Mimi, and he was being the strongest that he's ever been.
33
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:56,000
He was steady, calm, wise, adult.
34
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,000
Mimi said he was her rock.
35
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:04,000
In long conversations, Josh told Papa all he had meant to him,
36
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:08,000
how he'd been the dad he hadn't had in those early years,
37
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:12,000
how he had taught him to fish and to handle a boat,
38
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:16,000
how he had taken him to baseball and karate,
39
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,000
how he'd been with him,
40
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:24,000
and how he wanted to become the man that Papa believed he could be.
41
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,000
I had to leave for a trip.
42
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,000
On Saturday afternoon, the call came.
43
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,000
I held my breath.
44
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:37,000
Josh, through many tears, said that Papa was gone.
45
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000
We talked a long time.
46
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,000
The pain and loss flowed from my son.
47
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,000
He was grieving, but he would be strong.
48
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,000
His Mimi needed him.
49
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,000
He had to help take care of things.
50
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,000
Still, I held my breath.
51
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,000
Steve and I had been dreading this moment.
52
00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:02,000
Yes, the loss of this dear man Josh had brought into our lives,
53
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,000
but especially the fear of what Josh would do.
54
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:09,000
Would he return to his old patterns
55
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,000
for coping with unbearable circumstances?
56
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,000
It seemed he was staying strong.
57
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:22,000
He would go from deep weeping to determination to make Papa proud.
58
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:26,000
Abundant tears were followed by resolve.
59
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:31,000
Faltering choices changed to courage.
60
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:36,000
And then God sent a special gift at just the right time.
61
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:40,000
Josh had begun seeing a new girl.
62
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,000
She'd become something of a girlfriend.
63
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:47,000
And she said, I will walk with you through this.
64
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,000
And she was a steady rock for him.
65
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,000
Yet still, I held my breath.
66
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,000
It's hard to shake years of destructive responses.
67
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,000
Can he keep walking a better path?
68
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:07,000
Will he let God comfort and encourage and strengthen him?
69
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:13,000
Will this be a turning point of newness of life for Josh?
70
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,000
I heard, remember to breathe.
71
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000
What? Who's that?
72
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,000
God whispered it again.
73
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,000
Remember to breathe.
74
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,000
Said, I am with him.
75
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000
I'm holding him.
76
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:34,000
I have never let him go in all the things that have happened.
77
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,000
I have known this was coming.
78
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,000
And I am doing a good work in Josh.
79
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:47,000
The legacy of Papa will help him to go forward bravely with hope.
80
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,000
Josh has a future.
81
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:54,000
A little air began to escape.
82
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:58,000
Slowly, I exhaled.
83
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,000
I breathed in.
84
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:06,000
And that was really the turning point for Josh.
85
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,000
It's not to say everything was perfect after that.
86
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:13,000
It's not to say he made no more bad choices.
87
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:18,000
But it was a turning point to prove to Papa
88
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,000
that he was the man he hoped he would be.
89
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:27,000
It was just everything that Josh needed to change his behavior
90
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:32,000
and to walk away from his bad choices of the past
91
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:37,000
and to seek to really begin to make right choices
92
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:42,000
to become the person that God had created him to be.
93
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,000
So with your prodigal, remember to breathe.
94
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,000
God has him.
95
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,000
He will never let her go.
96
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:55,000
He's known this, whatever your this is.
97
00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:01,000
He is working, always working in your loved one and in mine.
98
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,000
And he's always working in us
99
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:09,000
because you see these circumstances that catch our breath,
100
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,000
that make it hard for us to breathe sometime.
101
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,000
Or because God is not only working in our loved one.
102
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,000
He's working in us.
103
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,000
It's an important time for us as well.
104
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,000
We can say, Lord, I want to be all that you want me to be
105
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,000
and to be the person you've created me to be
106
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,000
just as we're praying that our loved ones
107
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:37,000
will come to that point as well.
108
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000
So what about you?
109
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,000
Is something catching your breath?
110
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:47,000
Some event, some choice, some negative thing
111
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,000
about to have to be faced.
112
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,000
Can you exhale?
113
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:57,000
Can you believe God is aware and at work
114
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:03,000
in the life of your prodigal and in your life as well?
115
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,000
Remember to breathe.
116
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,000
And be sure to check out the show notes
117
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,000
for some links to some helpful articles.
118
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,000
Feel free to like this podcast,
119
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,000
to send it to a friend who is in a scary place,
120
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,000
and consider subscribing.
121
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:45,000
God bless you.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000
If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here at the When You Love a Prodigal podcast.
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:14,000
And also help and hope for your own life journey.
3
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:24,000
As you listen today, as always, be alert for ideas or actions that could be helpful to you and your current journey.
4
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:34,000
And jot them down if you're anything like me, even though I say I'll remember that and then I don't. I need to write it down.
5
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,000
So today let me tell you a story.
6
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:44,000
A little over 10 years ago, we went through a scary time with our adopted son.
7
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:51,000
Josh had twice in response to great disappointments threatened to take his life.
8
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,000
That was scary.
9
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:58,000
The reason with him assured him of our love stayed with him.
10
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:04,000
Gratefully, he backed down both times, but we were on alert.
11
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:11,000
Josh's birth grandfather, Papa, was the most important person in his life.
12
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:19,000
Papa was slowly failing with various ailments, claiming more and more of his 88-year-old body.
13
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,000
We were holding our breath.
14
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:32,000
We were deeply concerned that Josh might decide he couldn't go on if he lost his grandfather, that he might actually take his life when Papa died.
15
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,000
Josh and I had gone to visit him on Josh's birthday.
16
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,000
The last time we'd seen him, he seemed fine.
17
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,000
His usual, chatty self.
18
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,000
He and Josh had good conversations.
19
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:52,000
But when we arrived this time, it was as though the breath was knocked out of us.
20
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,000
Papa was sleeping most of the time.
21
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:02,000
We went ahead to celebrate Josh's birthday, and I went over to him with a cheery,
22
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,000
Papa, wake up, it's time for birthday cake.
23
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,000
He raised his head.
24
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,000
He actually recognized me.
25
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:15,000
He said something briefly, and then he was out again.
26
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:20,000
We finally did get him to eat a bite of birthday cake.
27
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:26,000
But that's all that we got to communicate with him for that visit.
28
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:31,000
We returned two days later, holding our breath.
29
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,000
Would he have revived?
30
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:37,000
No, the same or worse.
31
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:44,000
Josh stayed the rest of the week there, skipped his job, told him his grandfather was dying.
32
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:51,000
He was loving on his grandmother, Mimi, and he was being the strongest that he's ever been.
33
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:56,000
He was steady, calm, wise, adult.
34
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,000
Mimi said he was her rock.
35
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:04,000
In long conversations, Josh told Papa all he had meant to him,
36
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:08,000
how he'd been the dad he hadn't had in those early years,
37
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:12,000
how he had taught him to fish and to handle a boat,
38
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:16,000
how he had taken him to baseball and karate,
39
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,000
how he'd been with him,
40
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:24,000
and how he wanted to become the man that Papa believed he could be.
41
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,000
I had to leave for a trip.
42
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,000
On Saturday afternoon, the call came.
43
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,000
I held my breath.
44
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:37,000
Josh, through many tears, said that Papa was gone.
45
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000
We talked a long time.
46
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,000
The pain and loss flowed from my son.
47
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,000
He was grieving, but he would be strong.
48
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,000
His Mimi needed him.
49
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,000
He had to help take care of things.
50
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,000
Still, I held my breath.
51
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,000
Steve and I had been dreading this moment.
52
00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:02,000
Yes, the loss of this dear man Josh had brought into our lives,
53
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,000
but especially the fear of what Josh would do.
54
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:09,000
Would he return to his old patterns
55
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,000
for coping with unbearable circumstances?
56
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,000
It seemed he was staying strong.
57
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:22,000
He would go from deep weeping to determination to make Papa proud.
58
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:26,000
Abundant tears were followed by resolve.
59
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:31,000
Faltering choices changed to courage.
60
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:36,000
And then God sent a special gift at just the right time.
61
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:40,000
Josh had begun seeing a new girl.
62
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,000
She'd become something of a girlfriend.
63
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:47,000
And she said, I will walk with you through this.
64
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,000
And she was a steady rock for him.
65
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,000
Yet still, I held my breath.
66
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,000
It's hard to shake years of destructive responses.
67
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,000
Can he keep walking a better path?
68
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:07,000
Will he let God comfort and encourage and strengthen him?
69
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:13,000
Will this be a turning point of newness of life for Josh?
70
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,000
I heard, remember to breathe.
71
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000
What? Who's that?
72
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,000
God whispered it again.
73
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,000
Remember to breathe.
74
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,000
Said, I am with him.
75
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000
I'm holding him.
76
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:34,000
I have never let him go in all the things that have happened.
77
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,000
I have known this was coming.
78
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,000
And I am doing a good work in Josh.
79
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:47,000
The legacy of Papa will help him to go forward bravely with hope.
80
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,000
Josh has a future.
81
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:54,000
A little air began to escape.
82
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:58,000
Slowly, I exhaled.
83
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,000
I breathed in.
84
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:06,000
And that was really the turning point for Josh.
85
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,000
It's not to say everything was perfect after that.
86
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:13,000
It's not to say he made no more bad choices.
87
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:18,000
But it was a turning point to prove to Papa
88
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,000
that he was the man he hoped he would be.
89
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:27,000
It was just everything that Josh needed to change his behavior
90
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:32,000
and to walk away from his bad choices of the past
91
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:37,000
and to seek to really begin to make right choices
92
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:42,000
to become the person that God had created him to be.
93
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,000
So with your prodigal, remember to breathe.
94
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,000
God has him.
95
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,000
He will never let her go.
96
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:55,000
He's known this, whatever your this is.
97
00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:01,000
He is working, always working in your loved one and in mine.
98
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,000
And he's always working in us
99
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:09,000
because you see these circumstances that catch our breath,
100
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,000
that make it hard for us to breathe sometime.
101
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,000
Or because God is not only working in our loved one.
102
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,000
He's working in us.
103
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,000
It's an important time for us as well.
104
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,000
We can say, Lord, I want to be all that you want me to be
105
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,000
and to be the person you've created me to be
106
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,000
just as we're praying that our loved ones
107
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:37,000
will come to that point as well.
108
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000
So what about you?
109
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,000
Is something catching your breath?
110
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:47,000
Some event, some choice, some negative thing
111
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,000
about to have to be faced.
112
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,000
Can you exhale?
113
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:57,000
Can you believe God is aware and at work
114
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:03,000
in the life of your prodigal and in your life as well?
115
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,000
Remember to breathe.
116
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,000
And be sure to check out the show notes
117
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,000
for some links to some helpful articles.
118
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,000
Feel free to like this podcast,
119
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to send it to a friend who is in a scary place,
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and consider subscribing.
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God bless you.
