Remember to Breathe, episode 154

0:00 If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here at the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. And also help and hope for your own life journey. As you listen today, as always, be alert for ideas or actions that could be helpful to you and your current journey. And jot them down if you're anything like me, even though I say I'll remember that and then I don't. I need to write it down. So today let me tell you a story. A little over 10 years ago, we went through a scary time with our adopted son.

0:44 Josh had twice in response to great disappointments threatened to take his life. That was scary. The reason with him assured him of our love stayed with him. Gratefully, he backed down both times, but we were on alert. Josh's birth grandfather, Papa, was the most important person in his life. Papa was slowly failing with various ailments, claiming more and more of his 88-year-old body. We were holding our breath. We were deeply concerned that Josh might decide he couldn't go on if he lost his grandfather, that he might actually take his life when Papa died.

1:32 Josh and I had gone to visit him on Josh's birthday. The last time we'd seen him, he seemed fine. His usual, chatty self. He and Josh had good conversations. But when we arrived this time, it was as though the breath was knocked out of us. Papa was sleeping most of the time. We went ahead to celebrate Josh's birthday, and I went over to him with a cheery, Papa, wake up, it's time for birthday cake. He raised his head. He actually recognized me. He said something briefly, and then he was out again.

2:15 We finally did get him to eat a bite of birthday cake. But that's all that we got to communicate with him for that visit. We returned two days later, holding our breath. Would he have revived? No, the same or worse. Josh stayed the rest of the week there, skipped his job, told him his grandfather was dying. He was loving on his grandmother, Mimi, and he was being the strongest that he's ever been. He was steady, calm, wise, adult.

2:56 Mimi said he was her rock. In long conversations, Josh told Papa all he had meant to him, how he'd been the dad he hadn't had in those early years, how he had taught him to fish and to handle a boat, how he had taken him to baseball and karate, how he'd been with him, and how he wanted to become the man that Papa believed he could be. I had to leave for a trip. On Saturday afternoon, the call came. I held my breath. Josh, through many tears, said that Papa was gone.

3:37 We talked a long time. The pain and loss flowed from my son. He was grieving, but he would be strong. His Mimi needed him. He had to help take care of things. Still, I held my breath. Steve and I had been dreading this moment. Yes, the loss of this dear man Josh had brought into our lives, but especially the fear of what Josh would do. Would he return to his old patterns for coping with unbearable circumstances? It seemed he was staying strong. He would go from deep weeping to determination to make Papa proud.

4:22 Abundant tears were followed by resolve. Faltering choices changed to courage. And then God sent a special gift at just the right time. Josh had begun seeing a new girl. She'd become something of a girlfriend. And she said, I will walk with you through this. And she was a steady rock for him. Yet still, I held my breath. It's hard to shake years of destructive responses. Can he keep walking a better path?

5:02 Will he let God comfort and encourage and strengthen him? Will this be a turning point of newness of life for Josh? I heard, remember to breathe. What? Who's that? God whispered it again. Remember to breathe. Said, I am with him. I'm holding him. I have never let him go in all the things that have happened. I have known this was coming. And I am doing a good work in Josh. The legacy of Papa will help him to go forward bravely with hope.

5:47 Josh has a future. A little air began to escape. Slowly, I exhaled. I breathed in. And that was really the turning point for Josh. It's not to say everything was perfect after that. It's not to say he made no more bad choices. But it was a turning point to prove to Papa that he was the man he hoped he would be. It was just everything that Josh needed to change his behavior and to walk away from his bad choices of the past and to seek to really begin to make right choices to become the person that God had created him to be.

6:42 So with your prodigal, remember to breathe. God has him. He will never let her go. He's known this, whatever your this is. He is working, always working in your loved one and in mine. And he's always working in us because you see these circumstances that catch our breath, that make it hard for us to breathe sometime. Or because God is not only working in our loved one. He's working in us. It's an important time for us as well.

7:23 We can say, Lord, I want to be all that you want me to be and to be the person you've created me to be just as we're praying that our loved ones will come to that point as well. So what about you? Is something catching your breath? Some event, some choice, some negative thing about to have to be faced. Can you exhale? Can you believe God is aware and at work in the life of your prodigal and in your life as well?

8:03 Remember to breathe. And be sure to check out the show notes for some links to some helpful articles. Feel free to like this podcast, to send it to a friend who is in a scary place, and consider subscribing. God bless you.