Rest in Release and Giving Thanks (episode 24)

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Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness?

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Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15

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years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey.

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I'm so glad to have you back with me on my When You Love a Prodigal podcast. And for those

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of you who were listening last week, have you had any time to ask the Lord if there's

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anything you need to give up, give over to Him, repent from? How did you do on that?

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And Lord, also for forgiving, maybe especially your loved one, but maybe even yourself you

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needed to forgive. Today we're talking about two more ways to find rest in this wilderness

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journey. We're going to first look at being rest in release. Now you probably know the

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story of the monkey who saw a banana in the bottom of a jar. And so he thrust his hand

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down in there and he grabbed that banana and he tried to pull it out, but it wouldn't come

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out. And he pulled and he pulled, but he could not get his hand out holding on to that banana

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until he let go of the banana. And then he could pull his hand out. Sometimes I tell

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it a slightly different way. When I hold on to something that I want, like for my prodigal

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to change, to quit doing something, when I hold on to it, you know, when I'm holding

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on it's like I've made a fist and I'm almost shaking that in God's face. But that speaks

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defiance to him. Not only that, it basically closes up the opportunity for God to work

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in me. You see, he would have to start prying my fingers open one by one so that when he

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gets an open hand, he can take out what he didn't think should be there, an attitude

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or a demand or something that's become an idol to us or whatever it might be. But then

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he can put in to my hand what it is that he wants for me, a change in attitude, a new

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opportunity, a way that he's working in me even as he works in my prodigal. Oh, how those

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of us who love prodigals need to hear this. How we hold on to that loved one and to our

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desires for her life or his life. We plead with her and with God to do what we want.

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What we want is to be in control. We want to manipulate, to coerce, to bribe. We will

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do almost anything to make our loved one come to his or her senses except let go. You see,

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holding on is exhausting. Holding on to our way really wears us out. Jesus offers us an

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amazing exchange. He says, tell you what, I'll give you my perfect way if you'll let

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go of your imperfect way. When we willingly, though perhaps reluctantly, open our hands,

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we give God permission to do his very good work in our lives and in the lives of our

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prodigals. Let me tell you a story. My friend said, he needs to fly. That's what my prayer

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partner said. She had joined with me in praying for my love prodigal for this long, hard journey.

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The journey had been wild and dark for many years, but more recently had been slowly,

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arduously but slowly moving in a better direction. Then six months before this happened, darkness

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returned. Relationships failed. Choices that had bad consequences. Pain prevailed. Despair

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deepened me. I cried. I encouraged him. I exhorted him. I lectured him. I begged him.

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I rescued him. But I did pray. And I called on this prayer warrior. One day she wrote,

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me, I was praying for him, but the Lord told me to pray for you. To pray for you to let

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go so God could catch him and enable him to fly. I paused. I hesitated. But then I said,

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Lord, he's yours. I let go. I give him to you. I obviously can't make things happen

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the way I wish they would. I'm helpless and inadequate, unable. So I entrust him to you.

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Oh, Lord, please catch him when I let go. Please, please, may he fly. He and I are both

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so weary of this dusty, brambled road. May he fly. And I said that with all sincerity

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and strong intentions. But I seem to have bungee cords attached to my hands. And as

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I let go and I fling him to the Lord, in almost no time, my heart and my hands have pulled

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him back. It's always taken many repetitions, iterations for me to really get most truths,

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including letting go. In this, God has given me some words that are helping me to keep

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my hands open. Whether it's letting my loved one fly or letting the circumstances in his

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life or our lives be other than what I would like, I keep my hands open by praying, by

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saying these words to remind myself of realities or promises or hopes that I can have. I'm

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just going to say the words. Maybe they resonate with you. Forgiven or forgiving or both. Healed,

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free to fail and free to fly. Courageous, unabandoned, trusting, trusted, hopeful, adopted, loved,

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accepted, desired, believed in or believed for, not a victim. Those were words that applied

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to my prodigal and applied to me. They were words of hope that I can turn to exhortation

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after exhortation in God's Word to entrust him along with my fears to God.

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So in Psalm 55, we read, cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you. And then

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Peter repeats basically the same thing. He says, casting all your cares on him because

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he cares for you. Matthew says something similar. He says, therefore, do not worry about tomorrow.

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Let's pause there. Have you worried about tomorrow or even today? We live there, don't

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we? We live with worries about what might happen. But tomorrow has all the worry that

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it needs by itself. You don't need to join it. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

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So he says, stick with the day. He says, I'm with you today. He is the God who is with

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us. You see, there is great rest in release, in letting go, in opening our hands to the

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Lord. What I'm going to read in a second is a declaration of release that I have said

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many times in God's presence because I have often taken my prodigal back and needed to

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release him again. I'm going to read this very brief prayer through twice. The first

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time you listen and you see, does this express the desire of your heart? If so, I'll read

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it again and you can pray along with me if that's what you want, to release your prodigal

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to the Lord.

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So to my loved prodigal, as I trust in Jesus Christ, I set you free from my worries, fears,

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and control. I trust the Holy Spirit to guide you and show you the way that is right for

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you, the way of love, joy, peace available in our Lord and the way to rest. I cannot

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force my will on you. I cannot live my life for you. I entrust you to God the Father,

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Son and Holy Spirit. You're a very special person to me and to God. I love you so much,

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but God loves you more. Your life today is totally in his hands and I trust him with

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it. In Jesus' name, I release you from my expectations. I place you on open palms to

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the Lord. I give you my blessings. I let you go. In his love, and a place to have paper

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in front of you like I do, to write a date and a signature. So let me read that again

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and if that's a prayer you would like to make, if you would like to find the rest that comes

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with release and letting go, you might want to pray this. To my loved prodigal, as I trust

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in Jesus Christ, I set you free from my worries, fears, and control. I trust the Holy Spirit

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to guide you and show you the way that is right for you. The way of love, joy, and peace

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available in our God and the way to rest. I cannot force my will on you. I cannot live

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your life for you. I entrust you to God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. You are a very

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special person to me and to God. I love you so much, but God loves you more. Your life

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today is totally in his hands and I trust him with it. In Jesus' name, I release you

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from my expectations. I place you on open palms to the Lord. I give you my blessings.

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I let you go. In his love, your name. So there's rest in release and this one may be harder,

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I don't know. There's also rest in giving thanks. Probably even as you released that

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loved one to God's care, you might have had a struggle. Certainly you have some questions

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about everything. Why, God? Why? Why? How many times have you asked why? Why is my loved

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one making all these terrible choices? Why is my loved one breaking my heart like this?

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Why don't you do something, God? Why am I having to go through so much hurt and loss?

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These kinds of questions are natural responses when we love a prodigal. Why is this happening

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to me? Why don't you do something, God? You see, fighting against the reality is exhausting.

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God calls us instead to a supernatural response to give thanks. He says these really hard

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fathom words. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

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It is God's will for us to give thanks even in hard times. Even when our loved one does

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something that seems unforgivable. Even when they're in jail. Even when you have to go

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to the hospital because they've overdosed. Even when they've disappeared and you don't

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know where they are. But God says give thanks. I can think of three wonderful things that

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happen when I say, thank you, Lord. First, my focus changes. Instead of fixating on everything

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I hate about the reality of loving a prodigal, I instead began to focus on God and what he

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might be doing here. Then my trust expands. So I focus on him and I began to have greater

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trust. Just saying thank you, Lord implies I trust you, God. I believe you are truly

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God and you are truly good. Each time I say it, I believe it more. But then this is what

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happens. Doors open. Saying thank you, Lord is like a key that opens locked doors. Doors

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that we have bolted shut by demanding that God do things our way. The thank you key unlatches

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that bolt and gives God permission to do what he knows is best in his amazing ability to

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bring good from things that are really bad. You see there is rest in giving thanks. Sometimes

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it's really difficult. I found it helps if I can't yet say thank you in the midst of

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the latest thing my prodigal has done. I think of something I can say thank you for. Maybe

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it's a beautiful day and I can be thankful for that. Or maybe someone that you care about

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had something really good happen. Or maybe something you were cooking worked. Little

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things that you can say thank you for can build up your ability to trust God in this

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situation and say thank you. But if that's even too hard, I can go back to something

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really big that I am thankful for and that is that Jesus died on the cross for me. I'm

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thankful for that and I can say that. Then that can again open up my heart and my mind

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to be able to say thank you for the things that are going on right now that I don't understand

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and don't like. But as I begin to cultivate the choice to give thanks in every circumstance,

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the rest and freedom grow in astounding ways. So I would recommend that you say thank you

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Lord and get some rest.

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So here are some things to think about. Have you ever realized that you've been making

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a fist at the Lord? What has caused you to close up your hand and telling me he wasn't

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doing it right? Or how might the declaration of release that we read help you defeat the

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tendency to take back and hold on to have bungee cords on your hands? Or if you have

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started the practice of giving thanks, even in hard situations, how have you seen your

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focus changed, your trust expanded and new doors opened? It helps us to remember and

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be able to keep applying things when we stop and recognize them. So if you say thank you

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and you see a change in your attitude or you see doors opening, those are things to notice

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and that helps us grow in our ability to come to God with open hands and say we release

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it to you and we give thanks even if it doesn't look like what we were hoping for. May you

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find that you have a free and thankful week ahead. God bless you.

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Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal Podcast. If you enjoyed

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today's episode, please subscribe, rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever

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you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement

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of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes and for more helpful information,

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resources and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find

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me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.