Rest in Release and Giving Thanks (episode 24)

0:00 Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness? Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15 years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey. I'm so glad to have you back with me on my When You Love a Prodigal podcast. And for those of you who were listening last week, have you had any time to ask the Lord if there's anything you need to give up, give over to Him, repent from? How did you do on that?

0:47 And Lord, also for forgiving, maybe especially your loved one, but maybe even yourself you needed to forgive. Today we're talking about two more ways to find rest in this wilderness journey. We're going to first look at being rest in release. Now you probably know the story of the monkey who saw a banana in the bottom of a jar. And so he thrust his hand down in there and he grabbed that banana and he tried to pull it out, but it wouldn't come out. And he pulled and he pulled, but he could not get his hand out holding on to that banana until he let go of the banana. And then he could pull his hand out. Sometimes I tell it a slightly different way. When I hold on to something that I want, like for my prodigal to change, to quit doing something, when I hold on to it, you know, when I'm holding on it's like I've made a fist and I'm almost shaking that in God's face. But that speaks defiance to him. Not only that, it basically closes up the opportunity for God to work in me. You see, he would have to start prying my fingers open one by one so that when he

2:23 gets an open hand, he can take out what he didn't think should be there, an attitude or a demand or something that's become an idol to us or whatever it might be. But then he can put in to my hand what it is that he wants for me, a change in attitude, a new opportunity, a way that he's working in me even as he works in my prodigal. Oh, how those of us who love prodigals need to hear this. How we hold on to that loved one and to our desires for her life or his life. We plead with her and with God to do what we want.

3:10 What we want is to be in control. We want to manipulate, to coerce, to bribe. We will do almost anything to make our loved one come to his or her senses except let go. You see, holding on is exhausting. Holding on to our way really wears us out. Jesus offers us an amazing exchange. He says, tell you what, I'll give you my perfect way if you'll let go of your imperfect way. When we willingly, though perhaps reluctantly, open our hands, we give God permission to do his very good work in our lives and in the lives of our prodigals. Let me tell you a story. My friend said, he needs to fly. That's what my prayer partner said. She had joined with me in praying for my love prodigal for this long, hard journey.

4:17 The journey had been wild and dark for many years, but more recently had been slowly, arduously but slowly moving in a better direction. Then six months before this happened, darkness returned. Relationships failed. Choices that had bad consequences. Pain prevailed. Despair deepened me. I cried. I encouraged him. I exhorted him. I lectured him. I begged him. I rescued him. But I did pray. And I called on this prayer warrior. One day she wrote, me, I was praying for him, but the Lord told me to pray for you. To pray for you to let go so God could catch him and enable him to fly. I paused. I hesitated. But then I said, Lord, he's yours. I let go. I give him to you. I obviously can't make things happen the way I wish they would. I'm helpless and inadequate, unable. So I entrust him to you.

5:36 Oh, Lord, please catch him when I let go. Please, please, may he fly. He and I are both so weary of this dusty, brambled road. May he fly. And I said that with all sincerity and strong intentions. But I seem to have bungee cords attached to my hands. And as I let go and I fling him to the Lord, in almost no time, my heart and my hands have pulled him back. It's always taken many repetitions, iterations for me to really get most truths, including letting go. In this, God has given me some words that are helping me to keep my hands open. Whether it's letting my loved one fly or letting the circumstances in his life or our lives be other than what I would like, I keep my hands open by praying, by saying these words to remind myself of realities or promises or hopes that I can have. I'm just going to say the words. Maybe they resonate with you. Forgiven or forgiving or both. Healed, free to fail and free to fly. Courageous, unabandoned, trusting, trusted, hopeful, adopted, loved,

7:13 accepted, desired, believed in or believed for, not a victim. Those were words that applied to my prodigal and applied to me. They were words of hope that I can turn to exhortation after exhortation in God's Word to entrust him along with my fears to God. So in Psalm 55, we read, cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you. And then Peter repeats basically the same thing. He says, casting all your cares on him because he cares for you. Matthew says something similar. He says, therefore, do not worry about tomorrow.

8:05 Let's pause there. Have you worried about tomorrow or even today? We live there, don't we? We live with worries about what might happen. But tomorrow has all the worry that it needs by itself. You don't need to join it. Each day has enough trouble of its own. So he says, stick with the day. He says, I'm with you today. He is the God who is with us. You see, there is great rest in release, in letting go, in opening our hands to the Lord. What I'm going to read in a second is a declaration of release that I have said many times in God's presence because I have often taken my prodigal back and needed to release him again. I'm going to read this very brief prayer through twice. The first time you listen and you see, does this express the desire of your heart? If so, I'll read it again and you can pray along with me if that's what you want, to release your prodigal to the Lord.

9:19 So to my loved prodigal, as I trust in Jesus Christ, I set you free from my worries, fears, and control. I trust the Holy Spirit to guide you and show you the way that is right for you, the way of love, joy, peace available in our Lord and the way to rest. I cannot force my will on you. I cannot live my life for you. I entrust you to God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. You're a very special person to me and to God. I love you so much, but God loves you more. Your life today is totally in his hands and I trust him with it. In Jesus' name, I release you from my expectations. I place you on open palms to the Lord. I give you my blessings. I let you go. In his love, and a place to have paper in front of you like I do, to write a date and a signature. So let me read that again and if that's a prayer you would like to make, if you would like to find the rest that comes with release and letting go, you might want to pray this. To my loved prodigal, as I trust

10:54 in Jesus Christ, I set you free from my worries, fears, and control. I trust the Holy Spirit to guide you and show you the way that is right for you. The way of love, joy, and peace available in our God and the way to rest. I cannot force my will on you. I cannot live your life for you. I entrust you to God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. You are a very special person to me and to God. I love you so much, but God loves you more. Your life today is totally in his hands and I trust him with it. In Jesus' name, I release you from my expectations. I place you on open palms to the Lord. I give you my blessings.

12:16 I let you go. In his love, your name. So there's rest in release and this one may be harder, I don't know. There's also rest in giving thanks. Probably even as you released that loved one to God's care, you might have had a struggle. Certainly you have some questions about everything. Why, God? Why? Why? How many times have you asked why? Why is my loved one making all these terrible choices? Why is my loved one breaking my heart like this?

13:02 Why don't you do something, God? Why am I having to go through so much hurt and loss? These kinds of questions are natural responses when we love a prodigal. Why is this happening to me? Why don't you do something, God? You see, fighting against the reality is exhausting. God calls us instead to a supernatural response to give thanks. He says these really hard fathom words. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

13:52 It is God's will for us to give thanks even in hard times. Even when our loved one does something that seems unforgivable. Even when they're in jail. Even when you have to go to the hospital because they've overdosed. Even when they've disappeared and you don't know where they are. But God says give thanks. I can think of three wonderful things that happen when I say, thank you, Lord. First, my focus changes. Instead of fixating on everything I hate about the reality of loving a prodigal, I instead began to focus on God and what he might be doing here. Then my trust expands. So I focus on him and I began to have greater trust. Just saying thank you, Lord implies I trust you, God. I believe you are truly God and you are truly good. Each time I say it, I believe it more. But then this is what happens. Doors open. Saying thank you, Lord is like a key that opens locked doors. Doors that we have bolted shut by demanding that God do things our way. The thank you key unlatches

15:23 that bolt and gives God permission to do what he knows is best in his amazing ability to bring good from things that are really bad. You see there is rest in giving thanks. Sometimes it's really difficult. I found it helps if I can't yet say thank you in the midst of the latest thing my prodigal has done. I think of something I can say thank you for. Maybe it's a beautiful day and I can be thankful for that. Or maybe someone that you care about had something really good happen. Or maybe something you were cooking worked. Little things that you can say thank you for can build up your ability to trust God in this situation and say thank you. But if that's even too hard, I can go back to something really big that I am thankful for and that is that Jesus died on the cross for me. I'm thankful for that and I can say that. Then that can again open up my heart and my mind to be able to say thank you for the things that are going on right now that I don't understand and don't like. But as I begin to cultivate the choice to give thanks in every circumstance, the rest and freedom grow in astounding ways. So I would recommend that you say thank you

17:00 Lord and get some rest. So here are some things to think about. Have you ever realized that you've been making a fist at the Lord? What has caused you to close up your hand and telling me he wasn't doing it right? Or how might the declaration of release that we read help you defeat the tendency to take back and hold on to have bungee cords on your hands? Or if you have started the practice of giving thanks, even in hard situations, how have you seen your focus changed, your trust expanded and new doors opened? It helps us to remember and be able to keep applying things when we stop and recognize them. So if you say thank you and you see a change in your attitude or you see doors opening, those are things to notice and that helps us grow in our ability to come to God with open hands and say we release it to you and we give thanks even if it doesn't look like what we were hoping for. May you find that you have a free and thankful week ahead. God bless you.

18:24 Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes and for more helpful information, resources and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.