Trust in God is Stronger than Suicide (episode 29)

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Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness?

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Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15

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years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey.

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Welcome back. So if you remember or were listening last week, are you now just still reveling

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in the fact that God is so in love with you and that He'll never quit and you can't make

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Him quit? And He loves your prodigal too and He won't quit loving them. Oh Lord, thank

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you. Starting with something a little hard here. We recently had another suicide in our

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praying community. This kid wasn't on our list and we didn't know we needed to be praying

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for her. We've had a few others as well. Every one of them breaks our hearts. One of the

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others was my prodigal's roommate. I had tried to call my son to make sure he was up for

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an appointment he had. There was no answer. So I had gone to their house, which was two

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blocks away, to wake him up. He didn't answer at the door either because he is a very deep

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sleeper. So I let myself in. What I saw was unbelievable. His roommate was hanging from

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the loft in their house. I woke my son. We wept, called the police and spent the day

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basically dealing with this. Getting his mother came and is all a very, very hard and tragic

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thing. I spent time with his mother later and the tears that she said were great. But

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it makes me not only sad, it makes me angry. Our enemy, the evil one, the devil, is truly

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a roaring lion seeking to devour our loved ones and us. He comes to steal and kill and

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destroy and often he gets them to do it themselves. It's a hard thing. We know that God has promised

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to never leave us or forsake us and Jesus says he will be with us always. But sometimes

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the Lord seems far away and the pain is very present. I am grateful that God the Holy Spirit

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actually lives in us. He is the means by which we are never abandoned, never left alone,

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never forsaken. And he does many tangible things for us, including the promises that

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I'm about to share. Promises like these carry us through this wilderness journey, enabling

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us to trust God even in the darkness. He convinces us of sin. A primary purpose of the Holy

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Spirit is to convince us of our need for God. Jesus said, but very truly I tell you, it

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is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you.

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But if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will prove the world to be in

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the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment, about sin because people don't

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believe in God, about righteousness because Jesus went to the Father and he can't see

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him here on this earth anymore, and about judgment because the Prince of the world now

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stands condemned. We have an enemy, but Jesus says he is condemned.

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Needless to say, we are grateful that the Spirit is working in the lives of our loved

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ones, helping them to recognize their sin and their need for salvation and wooing them

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to the Father who loves them so. He also confirms our adoption. I love this. Our son is adopted.

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Late, he was almost 10 when he came to us and then 12 when we adopted him. And God says

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that one of the Spirit's important roles is to assure us that we are children of God.

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He will also be working in the lives of those we pray for who have previously surrendered

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to Christ but have turned away from him. The Apostle Paul in the wonderful 8th chapter

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of Romans affirms this, for those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children

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of God. The Spirit you receive does not make you slaves so that you live in fear again.

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Rather, the Spirit you receive brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry,

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Abba, Father, Daddy. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

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And if we are children, then we are heirs, heirs of God, co-heirs with Christ. Indeed,

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if we share in his sufferings, in order that we may also share in his glory. That's a lot

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right there. But God's love for us says, you're not just my creation. I've adopted you into

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my family. You're my child, my son or my daughter. What a beautiful thing and an heir of the

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kingdom of God. The Spirit of God also is our counselor. And probably most of us have

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needed some counseling on this prodigal journey. Our first line of help for our prodigals is

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available anytime, anywhere. The Spirit of God is identified as our counselor. In John

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14, we read, Jesus says, I will pray the Father and he will give you another counselor that

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he may be with you forever. All the time you have this counselor living in you. Says, ask,

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ask for wisdom. I'll give it to you. So often we do not know how to help our wanderers or

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ourselves. We need understanding and wisdom. Just think, we have available to us God himself

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to advise us, to help us to listen well, to guide our words and our actions. Often he

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will use human counselors in this process, but he will also speak directly to us at a

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time of great need. For me, these wonderful gifts and others from the Spirit provide one

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more reason why I can trust God in the life of my loved one and in my own life. And did

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you know there is observable evidence that our trust is growing? How can you know that

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you're trusting more? Well, probably you can identify with this. There are times when I

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am a little whiny. So many projects. The house is a mess. People have needs. I'm tired. All

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I can do is the next thing. It's hard to catch up, much less get to the things that need

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to be done, but aren't essential right now. Little inconveniences are annoying. See, I'm

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pretty whiny. Recently, when I was in a whiny state, I read a chapter on gratitude in Brennan

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Mannead's Ruthless Trust and was sharply reminded of a lifestyle I have mostly been able to

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choose lately, gratefulness. But I sometimes forget it in the wilderness journey and the

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whininess. Perhaps your prodigal has worn you out as well. As we have been looking at

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all the substantial reasons why we can trust God, even in our difficult journeys with our

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prodigals, we can benefit from some solid evidence that we are genuinely growing in

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that trust. Manning suggests this. The foremost quality of a trusting disciple is gratefulness.

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Gratitude arises from the lived perception, evaluation, and acceptance of all of life

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as grace, as an undeserved and unearned gift from the Father's hand. Consider these characteristics

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of gratitude. Brennan Manning tells me this. All means all. It is easy to make a list of

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all the blessings, the good things in our lives for which we are grateful. It would

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be a good practice to do that every day. But the kind of lived out gratitude that is proof

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of our trust in God will include saying, thank you, Lord, for everything, including those

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things we prefer were not happening, even for the paying costs by loving a prodigal.

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Gratitude pays attention. The busyness of life, the bombardment of messages and our

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culture, the challenges of choices of the one we love, all distract us from an awareness

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of our God who is active in every detail of our life. A heart of gratefulness stays aware

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of God in the beautiful events and joys and in the difficult circumstances and experiences.

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What kind of gratitude pays attention? This kind of gratitude pays attention to what he

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is doing, what he is saying, and how he is working. Gratitude is also catching. You know

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those people you don't want to run into, the complaining whiny ones who pass unto you their

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negative ungrateful attitudes. But you also know the ones who in the midst of difficulties

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and disappointments still exude joy and gratitude. You love to be with them. And perhaps you

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even catch some of that grateful spirit. We tend to think that only joyful circumstances

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will make us thankful. In reality, joy in any circumstance, good or bad, comes from

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an already grateful heart. I love this. The theocentric character of gratitude is anchored

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in trust that there is someone to thank. People who don't know our God will often say thank

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you for no good reason that we can see because they don't know the God who made something

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possible for them. The word theocentric, his word that he used, means having God as the

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central focus. We have certainly endeavored to do that today. We have affirmed that God

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is God and he is good. He loves us and he has given us all we need in Jesus and the

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Holy Spirit. Hopefully we have begun to see that God is totally trustworthy. He provides

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for us, meets our needs, stays with us, gives us strength and perseverance and wisdom and

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hope. As our trust expands, so will our gratitude. We will increasingly choose to give thanks

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in all circumstances. I love this thought from Brennan Manning, to be grateful for an

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unanswered prayer, to give thanks in a state of interior desolation, to trust in the love

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of God in the face of the cruel circumstances, obscenities, and even common places of life

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is to whisper a doxology in the darkness, to praise God even when there's darkness all

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around and we can't see the light and we can't see what to hope for. Can you do that? Can

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you whisper a doxology in your darkness? When we trust, we will give thanks. What are some

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other signs of growing trust? We've reflected on why we can trust God and evidence that

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we trust him. How do we trust him? Let's see. What do I have faith in? Faith is confidence

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in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Faith in general has been defined

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as the persuasion of the mind that a statement is true. So here is the persuasion of my mind,

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my reality. I know I am saved by faith and I live by faith. When it comes to a hard place

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like loving a prodigal, I believe God can do anything he can save, restore, rescue. I do not doubt that.

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But will he? Can I trust him? What can I dare hope for? God's word encourages us to hope

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in what God has provided for us and assured us of grace, mercy, forgiveness, eternal life

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with him, and much more. When it comes to my prodigal though, my hope is more immediate.

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Repentance, return, and reconciliation. I hope that God will do what I want in the life

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of my loved one. Faith and hope create trust. And that is like a gift back to God. When

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we say, I believe you and I am hoping in what you are like and what you promised, I will

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trust. And that is our offering to him, a trust that says, this I will do, Lord. Faith

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says, I believe. Yes, I know God is totally aware, completely compassionate and all-powerful.

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I am confident that he knows, he cares, he is able. Hope says, I am hoping God will take

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all this pain and all these bad choices, all the worry and fear and hopelessness and redeem

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it all, bringing his good out of this bad, these years of bad. Trust says, no matter

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how bad things are, I can believe, I can trust that God will intersect with this bad, engage

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in this pain and accomplish what he knows is right and best. It may not be the outcomes

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I desire or hope for, but it is the outcome that God knows is right. God's love is the

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anchor. We can always trust him because of his love for us. How do we know when we're

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trusting him? What do our lives reflect when we're trusting him? We'll be grateful. We'll

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be able to say, thank you, Lord.

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Let's kind of end this with a few people who have demonstrated this kind of trust. Job

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has said even before he had the conversation with God, said, though he slay me, yet I will

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trust him. Noah, by faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, a flood that was

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coming, in holy fear, built an ark to save his family. Abraham, by faith Abraham, when

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called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even

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though he did not know where he was going. Can you imagine saying, all right, I'll go,

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back up, let's go, where are we going? I don't know. It's what Abraham did because he trusted

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God. Moses, by faith, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's

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daughter and chose instead to be mistreated along with the people of God. David, in spite

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of Saul, King Saul's efforts to kill him, despite betrayal, my friend and family said,

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I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever. Daniel was told he couldn't worship

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his God. He would be thrown into the lion's den. He went home to his upstairs room where

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the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed,

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giving thanks to his God, just as he had before. He trusted God.

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Jesus, my Father, if it's possible, may this cup be taken from him, yet not as I will,

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but as you will. Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit.

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Brennan Manning writes, it requires heroic trust in the love of God to keep trusting

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no matter what happens to us. He goes on to say that trust is the word that defines the

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Christian life. It is how we live it out. We want clarity, wisdom, assurances, promises,

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and God gives those, but they often seem to be withheld because he has a higher purpose,

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and that is that we learn to trust him. If we have those things we want, we're satisfied.

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We won't need to trust. But the heart of trust says with Jesus, into your hands, I commit

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my spirit. And this has an impact on our prodigals. As our trust in God grows, therefore our spirit

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of gratefulness expands, we will be different. Our attitudes, our countenances, our responses,

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our words will reflect the grace and peace that Jesus lived. Our interactions and relationships

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with our prodigals will also experience more grace and peace. And then this scripture becomes

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reality. You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust

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in you. Oh, we deeply love those we are praying for.

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If we could multiply the feelings that we have in our love by infinity, we would begin

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to get a greater glimpse of God's love for us and for our prodigals. We would then become

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conduits of the amazing, accepting, forgiving, gracious love of God to flow through us to

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our wanderers. You see, when we trust him, we become his arms of love to our loved ones.

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So think about this. What does your doxology in the darkness look like today? Can you praise

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and thank God even when life with your prodigal is still a wilderness? Are you seeing that

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your trust in God is growing? God bless you.

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Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed

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today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever

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you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement

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of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes. And for more helpful information,

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resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find

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me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.