Trust in God is Stronger than Suicide (episode 29)

0:00 Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness? Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass and I spent more than 15 years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey. Welcome back. So if you remember or were listening last week, are you now just still reveling in the fact that God is so in love with you and that He'll never quit and you can't make Him quit? And He loves your prodigal too and He won't quit loving them. Oh Lord, thank you. Starting with something a little hard here. We recently had another suicide in our praying community. This kid wasn't on our list and we didn't know we needed to be praying for her. We've had a few others as well. Every one of them breaks our hearts. One of the others was my prodigal's roommate. I had tried to call my son to make sure he was up for an appointment he had. There was no answer. So I had gone to their house, which was two blocks away, to wake him up. He didn't answer at the door either because he is a very deep sleeper. So I let myself in. What I saw was unbelievable. His roommate was hanging from

1:39 the loft in their house. I woke my son. We wept, called the police and spent the day basically dealing with this. Getting his mother came and is all a very, very hard and tragic thing. I spent time with his mother later and the tears that she said were great. But it makes me not only sad, it makes me angry. Our enemy, the evil one, the devil, is truly a roaring lion seeking to devour our loved ones and us. He comes to steal and kill and destroy and often he gets them to do it themselves. It's a hard thing. We know that God has promised to never leave us or forsake us and Jesus says he will be with us always. But sometimes the Lord seems far away and the pain is very present. I am grateful that God the Holy Spirit actually lives in us. He is the means by which we are never abandoned, never left alone, never forsaken. And he does many tangible things for us, including the promises that

3:09 I'm about to share. Promises like these carry us through this wilderness journey, enabling us to trust God even in the darkness. He convinces us of sin. A primary purpose of the Holy Spirit is to convince us of our need for God. Jesus said, but very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment, about sin because people don't believe in God, about righteousness because Jesus went to the Father and he can't see him here on this earth anymore, and about judgment because the Prince of the world now stands condemned. We have an enemy, but Jesus says he is condemned.

4:15 Needless to say, we are grateful that the Spirit is working in the lives of our loved ones, helping them to recognize their sin and their need for salvation and wooing them to the Father who loves them so. He also confirms our adoption. I love this. Our son is adopted. Late, he was almost 10 when he came to us and then 12 when we adopted him. And God says that one of the Spirit's important roles is to assure us that we are children of God. He will also be working in the lives of those we pray for who have previously surrendered to Christ but have turned away from him. The Apostle Paul in the wonderful 8th chapter of Romans affirms this, for those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you receive does not make you slaves so that you live in fear again.

5:19 Rather, the Spirit you receive brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, Abba, Father, Daddy. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. And if we are children, then we are heirs, heirs of God, co-heirs with Christ. Indeed, if we share in his sufferings, in order that we may also share in his glory. That's a lot right there. But God's love for us says, you're not just my creation. I've adopted you into my family. You're my child, my son or my daughter. What a beautiful thing and an heir of the kingdom of God. The Spirit of God also is our counselor. And probably most of us have needed some counseling on this prodigal journey. Our first line of help for our prodigals is available anytime, anywhere. The Spirit of God is identified as our counselor. In John 14, we read, Jesus says, I will pray the Father and he will give you another counselor that he may be with you forever. All the time you have this counselor living in you. Says, ask, ask for wisdom. I'll give it to you. So often we do not know how to help our wanderers or

6:52 ourselves. We need understanding and wisdom. Just think, we have available to us God himself to advise us, to help us to listen well, to guide our words and our actions. Often he will use human counselors in this process, but he will also speak directly to us at a time of great need. For me, these wonderful gifts and others from the Spirit provide one more reason why I can trust God in the life of my loved one and in my own life. And did you know there is observable evidence that our trust is growing? How can you know that you're trusting more? Well, probably you can identify with this. There are times when I am a little whiny. So many projects. The house is a mess. People have needs. I'm tired. All I can do is the next thing. It's hard to catch up, much less get to the things that need to be done, but aren't essential right now. Little inconveniences are annoying. See, I'm pretty whiny. Recently, when I was in a whiny state, I read a chapter on gratitude in Brennan Mannead's Ruthless Trust and was sharply reminded of a lifestyle I have mostly been able to choose lately, gratefulness. But I sometimes forget it in the wilderness journey and the

8:29 whininess. Perhaps your prodigal has worn you out as well. As we have been looking at all the substantial reasons why we can trust God, even in our difficult journeys with our prodigals, we can benefit from some solid evidence that we are genuinely growing in that trust. Manning suggests this. The foremost quality of a trusting disciple is gratefulness. Gratitude arises from the lived perception, evaluation, and acceptance of all of life as grace, as an undeserved and unearned gift from the Father's hand. Consider these characteristics of gratitude. Brennan Manning tells me this. All means all. It is easy to make a list of all the blessings, the good things in our lives for which we are grateful. It would be a good practice to do that every day. But the kind of lived out gratitude that is proof of our trust in God will include saying, thank you, Lord, for everything, including those things we prefer were not happening, even for the paying costs by loving a prodigal.

9:53 Gratitude pays attention. The busyness of life, the bombardment of messages and our culture, the challenges of choices of the one we love, all distract us from an awareness of our God who is active in every detail of our life. A heart of gratefulness stays aware of God in the beautiful events and joys and in the difficult circumstances and experiences. What kind of gratitude pays attention? This kind of gratitude pays attention to what he is doing, what he is saying, and how he is working. Gratitude is also catching. You know those people you don't want to run into, the complaining whiny ones who pass unto you their negative ungrateful attitudes. But you also know the ones who in the midst of difficulties and disappointments still exude joy and gratitude. You love to be with them. And perhaps you even catch some of that grateful spirit. We tend to think that only joyful circumstances will make us thankful. In reality, joy in any circumstance, good or bad, comes from an already grateful heart. I love this. The theocentric character of gratitude is anchored

11:24 in trust that there is someone to thank. People who don't know our God will often say thank you for no good reason that we can see because they don't know the God who made something possible for them. The word theocentric, his word that he used, means having God as the central focus. We have certainly endeavored to do that today. We have affirmed that God is God and he is good. He loves us and he has given us all we need in Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Hopefully we have begun to see that God is totally trustworthy. He provides for us, meets our needs, stays with us, gives us strength and perseverance and wisdom and hope. As our trust expands, so will our gratitude. We will increasingly choose to give thanks in all circumstances. I love this thought from Brennan Manning, to be grateful for an unanswered prayer, to give thanks in a state of interior desolation, to trust in the love of God in the face of the cruel circumstances, obscenities, and even common places of life is to whisper a doxology in the darkness, to praise God even when there's darkness all

12:55 around and we can't see the light and we can't see what to hope for. Can you do that? Can you whisper a doxology in your darkness? When we trust, we will give thanks. What are some other signs of growing trust? We've reflected on why we can trust God and evidence that we trust him. How do we trust him? Let's see. What do I have faith in? Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Faith in general has been defined as the persuasion of the mind that a statement is true. So here is the persuasion of my mind, my reality. I know I am saved by faith and I live by faith. When it comes to a hard place like loving a prodigal, I believe God can do anything he can save, restore, rescue. I do not doubt that.

14:01 But will he? Can I trust him? What can I dare hope for? God's word encourages us to hope in what God has provided for us and assured us of grace, mercy, forgiveness, eternal life with him, and much more. When it comes to my prodigal though, my hope is more immediate. Repentance, return, and reconciliation. I hope that God will do what I want in the life of my loved one. Faith and hope create trust. And that is like a gift back to God. When we say, I believe you and I am hoping in what you are like and what you promised, I will trust. And that is our offering to him, a trust that says, this I will do, Lord. Faith says, I believe. Yes, I know God is totally aware, completely compassionate and all-powerful.

15:07 I am confident that he knows, he cares, he is able. Hope says, I am hoping God will take all this pain and all these bad choices, all the worry and fear and hopelessness and redeem it all, bringing his good out of this bad, these years of bad. Trust says, no matter how bad things are, I can believe, I can trust that God will intersect with this bad, engage in this pain and accomplish what he knows is right and best. It may not be the outcomes I desire or hope for, but it is the outcome that God knows is right. God's love is the anchor. We can always trust him because of his love for us. How do we know when we're trusting him? What do our lives reflect when we're trusting him? We'll be grateful. We'll be able to say, thank you, Lord.

16:13 Let's kind of end this with a few people who have demonstrated this kind of trust. Job has said even before he had the conversation with God, said, though he slay me, yet I will trust him. Noah, by faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, a flood that was coming, in holy fear, built an ark to save his family. Abraham, by faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. Can you imagine saying, all right, I'll go, back up, let's go, where are we going? I don't know. It's what Abraham did because he trusted God. Moses, by faith, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter and chose instead to be mistreated along with the people of God. David, in spite of Saul, King Saul's efforts to kill him, despite betrayal, my friend and family said, I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever. Daniel was told he couldn't worship his God. He would be thrown into the lion's den. He went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed,

17:48 giving thanks to his God, just as he had before. He trusted God. Jesus, my Father, if it's possible, may this cup be taken from him, yet not as I will, but as you will. Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit. Brennan Manning writes, it requires heroic trust in the love of God to keep trusting no matter what happens to us. He goes on to say that trust is the word that defines the Christian life. It is how we live it out. We want clarity, wisdom, assurances, promises, and God gives those, but they often seem to be withheld because he has a higher purpose, and that is that we learn to trust him. If we have those things we want, we're satisfied.

18:44 We won't need to trust. But the heart of trust says with Jesus, into your hands, I commit my spirit. And this has an impact on our prodigals. As our trust in God grows, therefore our spirit of gratefulness expands, we will be different. Our attitudes, our countenances, our responses, our words will reflect the grace and peace that Jesus lived. Our interactions and relationships with our prodigals will also experience more grace and peace. And then this scripture becomes reality. You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you. Oh, we deeply love those we are praying for.

19:41 If we could multiply the feelings that we have in our love by infinity, we would begin to get a greater glimpse of God's love for us and for our prodigals. We would then become conduits of the amazing, accepting, forgiving, gracious love of God to flow through us to our wanderers. You see, when we trust him, we become his arms of love to our loved ones. So think about this. What does your doxology in the darkness look like today? Can you praise and thank God even when life with your prodigal is still a wilderness? Are you seeing that your trust in God is growing? God bless you.

20:35 Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes. And for more helpful information, resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.