Turning Curses into Blessings, episode 102

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If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope

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for your wilderness journey right here

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at When You Love a Prodigal podcast,

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and also help and hope for your own life journey.

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So let me start with a story.

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Once again, our prodigal had aggravated me.

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My natural reaction was to raise my voice

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and assign a consequence.

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Instead, as he stormed out of the house,

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I went to his room, gathered his scattered dirty clothes,

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and headed to the laundry room.

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Doing his laundry was his job, not mine.

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But today, it was mine.

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And as I threw each shirt and pair of shorts

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into the washer, I said,

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Josh, I bless you, my son, I bless you.

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I don't know if he felt blessed, but it did wonders for me.

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So why did I do that?

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Because God has convinced me of the power of blessing

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and the challenge to live it out every day.

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Scripture tells us in 1 Peter,

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do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult.

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On the contrary, repay evil with blessing,

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because to this you were called

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so that you may inherit a blessing.

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Author Dallas Willard has said

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that the two ways we impact people most often

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are to either bless them or curse them, one or the other.

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Sometimes we probably aren't aware

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if we are blessing or cursing,

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but we can certainly intentionally choose to bless.

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Because you see, God has chosen to bless you and me.

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The Lord bless you and keep you, we read in Numbers.

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The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you.

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The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

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That's just one of many blessings,

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but it's probably the most familiar and popular one

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that God said to the people of Israel.

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But he says it to us as well.

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I want to bless you.

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And I really believe that blessing others,

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and especially our prodigals,

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is a key to restoring the hearts of our loved ones to us,

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and maybe even God.

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So what does it mean to bless?

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Blessing is the projection of good into another's life,

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according to Dallas Willard again.

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Or to bring God into it, to bless is to offer prayer to God

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for someone's welfare and benefit.

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What a wonderful thing to ask for good

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to happen in another's life.

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Even someone who doesn't seem to deserve to be blessed,

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but God has called us to bless.

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Given the realities of family stress these days,

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financial needs, prices are climbing,

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gas prices are climbing, racial tensions,

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fires and hurricanes everywhere, or snowstorms,

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mental health breakdowns,

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I imagine there is great need of blessing

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in both word and deed in many homes, if not every home.

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But the call to bless extends well beyond our families

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to neighbors, coworkers,

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to those with different political views,

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to those with divergent cultural

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and racial attitudes and opinion.

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God says, bless, don't curse.

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In speaking our thoughts, expressing our feelings,

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describing the reality of our experiences,

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as God's children, we are called to speak in love,

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not animosity, with blessing, not cursing.

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And it goes further, Jesus himself admonishes us,

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but I tell you, love your enemies

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and pray for those who persecute you.

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Paul affirms this and says, don't be overcome by evil,

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overcome evil with good.

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So seriously, God wants us to bless our enemies,

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people who have harmed us or demeaned us,

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or in the case of a prodigal,

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really almost destroyed our lives sometimes.

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Those people I love but are hurtful,

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yep, he wants us to bless them.

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Here's the deal, hate multiplies hate,

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but blessing multiplies blessing,

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both to others and it comes back to us.

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When we bless people, then there's going to be blessing

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coming back to others and will often spread

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beyond just the person that we blessed.

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And so what do I do in response to that?

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To bless those I live with and live near

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and encounter with hopeful words,

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encouraging affirmations, maybe just a listening ear,

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or maybe it's meeting some real needs.

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I had a chance to bless a neighbor recently

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who's been ill a lot and I made some soup

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and took it over thinking I would give her some soup

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and maybe say a prayer for her.

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And she asked me to come in and stay and we talked

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for more than an hour and I was blessed, but so was she.

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You don't know the opportunities you have to bless.

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Now we can bless also on our knees.

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We pray to our loving God to do his good

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for whomever we want to bless.

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Again, if that's our prodigal, they need lots of blessing.

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And so we have a chance to pass that on.

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Now I want you to think about this.

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Life is hard for a prodigal.

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Their lives are filled with fear,

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a lot of things to be afraid of.

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They know that there's danger in some of the things they do.

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I remember how our son lived in fear

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of getting picked up by the police.

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I never understood how he never got a DUI,

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but they're filled with failure,

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whether it's in school or at a job or at home.

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They're being told all the time that they have failed,

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they have done it wrong, or they're just frustrated.

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Even maybe they're trying to change their lives

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and do better and they keep going back to their old ways.

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Much of it, much of their fear and failure and frustration

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is from their own choices, their own making.

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And that often, yes it does,

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gets instead of affirmation, it gets negative harsh words

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from those who are in authority over them

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and even from those of us who love them.

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We can say some pretty negative things.

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Now we have an enemy who hurls curses at us,

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but we have a God who loves to bless us.

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See how we can turn the hurtful words that we might be,

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all that we do often say to our loved ones, our prodigals,

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instead of hurting them, instead of putting them down,

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God says bless them.

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So I'm gonna give you some help on how to do that.

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This may seem a little funny to you,

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but I'm gonna take the words we often say

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and I'm gonna give you something scripture says

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and something that you might say that would be a blessing.

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So you can use these words from God himself

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or you can just kinda let them guide you

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to what you could say instead.

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So here we go.

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Here are some things that we might say,

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well deserved probably,

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but another way to bless instead of curse.

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So you might be tempted to say,

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you can't do anything right.

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Instead, we could say words of blessing from God's word.

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God has said in Jeremiah,

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may you be built up, not torn down, planted, not uprooted.

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May you return to God with all your heart.

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So do you see that?

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Instead of you can't do anything right,

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we let God say, no, I'm gonna build you up.

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Or you could say, I believe you are smart enough

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to make good choices instead of bad choices.

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So maybe you're tempted to accuse them,

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you have failed again.

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And instead, what might words like these do

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for your loved one?

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In Micah, it says, may you rise when you fall

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and come out of the darkness into God's light.

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That's a pretty good blessing on them.

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We might say, we all make mistakes.

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I know you can make it work next time.

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So how many times has your prodigal heard you say,

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you're never gonna amount to anything?

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Well, maybe you wouldn't quite say that,

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but something like that.

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Maybe something like this from the book of Ephesians

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would be better.

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It says, may you hope in the future

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of God's good plans for you.

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So instead of you'll never amount to anything,

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you say to them, God has good plans for you.

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Or you might say, I'm sure you and God

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have good plans for your future.

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You can do it.

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So maybe when you feel like saying,

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God will punish you for what you have done.

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Now, of course, most of us are too nice

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to say something like that, but I've heard it.

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And I know that it gets said, God will punish you

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for what you have done.

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Maybe you could try these words in Jeremiah.

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May you comprehend, may you understand

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that it gives God joy to always do good to you.

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Did you know that?

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It makes God happy when he can do good to you.

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And it makes God joyful when you can do good

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to your prodigal, your loved one.

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And maybe you could say, instead of God's gonna punish you,

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I really want and believe the best for you.

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So when you feel hopeless, you might say to your loved one,

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and I bet most of us have, you are hopeless.

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I don't see anything working.

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So here are some words of hope from the book of Ezekiel.

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May you receive the new heart and new spirit

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God is giving you.

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Let them know God's there, he's working,

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and he has good gifts for them.

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A new heart to believe and a new spirit to trust.

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Or maybe you just say, don't give up,

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keep hoping and trying, you can do it.

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Oh, and in frustration, maybe you would say,

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you are such a loser.

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But instead, you could offer a positive thought

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like this from the book of Joel.

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May all the days and years of your life

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that's been stolen by the evil one be restored.

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So for the decisions they've made

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and for the things that have happened in their lives,

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they might feel that they are losers.

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And we don't help when we affirm that.

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But when we can say that all that's been taken from you,

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God is going to restore to you.

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And then you might add, you know, bad things do happen.

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But I know you can turn it around to a better outcome.

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The words of blessing, the words that offer them

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positive thoughts that you have about them

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make a huge difference in how they feel about themselves

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and how they look at themselves.

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So even if this is true, you might find yourself saying,

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sadly, you make it hard for anyone to love you.

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Now I confess, I told God that a lot,

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that our son made it hard to love him.

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I probably said it to him, but I don't remember.

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I love this verse in Hosea.

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May you feel cords of loving kindness

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as the Father bends down to feed you.

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Can't you just see God saying, no,

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you may be making it hard for someone to love you,

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but I can love you.

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I'm gonna bend down, I'm gonna hug you,

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and I'll even feed you.

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That's God's attitude when somebody

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is making it hard to love them.

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Or you can just tell them, I will never quit loving you.

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And you think they don't hear that,

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and they don't want to, but I assure you,

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those words will make a difference.

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And they may not come back in positive ways immediately,

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but if you say, I will never quit loving you,

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you're blessing your loved one.

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So when they've done something really bad,

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really bad, something criminal,

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you might say, you're gonna spend your life in prison.

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But instead, these words in Romans would give them hope.

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May you know that in Christ Jesus,

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there is no condemnation.

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Or you could say, I believe in you,

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and I am praying for God's good solution to this problem.

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Now those are just a few examples

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of the kinds of words we might speak

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that would really be curses to them.

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And God says, no, I don't want you to curse,

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I want you to bless.

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And so the word of God is full of ways to bless people.

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And those are just a few of the examples,

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plus simple ways for you to speak blessing over them

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instead of cursing them.

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We're so quick to let our fears and frustrations

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cause us to utter words of accusation or condemnations.

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Those are curses.

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But God has blessed us and our loved ones.

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And he has called us to be channels

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of blessing to our prodigals.

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So let me ask you this.

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What blessing could you give your loved one today?

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Maybe in response to something they do or say,

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or maybe you just surprise them

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with a wonderful word of blessing.

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You won't be sorry.

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Again, it doesn't always show up immediately

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that you are blessing instead of cursing.

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But if you keep it up over time,

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it will change their hearts.

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Next week, I will begin a series on Joy in the Hard Journey,

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which will be part of our preparation

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for the June 2 Worldwide Prodigal Prayer Day.

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Probably most of you know about the Prodigal Prayer Day

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every June 2nd, but some of you are new listeners

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and you might not.

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What we do is we ask you to give us the first name

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of anyone that is needing some prayer in their lives

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because of the choices they're making

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or the situation that they're in.

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Now, if you've submitted names in the past,

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you don't need to do it again.

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We still have them.

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But if you haven't, we would love

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for you to add to our list,

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there's several thousand people, names on it,

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and there will be hundreds, if not thousands,

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around the world who will pray

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and name every name on our list on June 2nd.

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So if you would like to submit a name,

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you can do that by clicking the link

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that'll be in the show notes,

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and we'll pray for your loved one.

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God bless you.