We Need to Talk (episode 33)

0:00 Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness? Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass, and I spent more than 15 years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey. So have you figured out the mystery of prayer yet from our conversation last week? Probably not. I think until we get to heaven and are with the Lord where He can help us open our eyes and move the dark glass away, we might then understand prayer. Until then, we get to keep praying and keep believing that God is listening and answering.

0:57 When my oldest grandson was about four and living near me, I often heard these words from him. Let's talk about it. Mention anything. Star Wars, the playground, a snack, the latest book we'd read, anything. He wanted to talk about it. I find it amazing that any four-year-old boy would say, let's talk about it. But he did. And that is exactly what God says to us. Let's talk about it, Judy. Let's talk about it to you. When I was a young believer in high school, a new friend gave me a life-impacting book.

1:42 It was called Prayer Conversing with God by Rosalyn Rinker. It's still around. Because of it, as I was just beginning to walk with God, I learned this transforming truth. Prayer is a conversation. It's not just an activity. It's not just the things you do or don't do. It is actually a conversation with God. So God speaks and I listen. Does that happen in your prayer time? Or I speak and he listens. You know, there are no texts or Instagrams or TikTok. We just talk heart to heart. God and I have had many conversations. When I have needs or desires, which of course he already knows, he listens to my requests.

2:39 He might answer, sure, let's do that. And there you go. You get the answer. Or he may say, that's not the best approach. Or maybe just no. But often he says, wait, be patient. And over and over he has said to me, I have a better idea, Judy. When I am confused, he listens so patiently. Then he assures me that his wisdom, his mind, his thinking are all available to me. Sometimes it will be eternity before I see the whole picture. But his words give me what I need. He floods my heart with peace for now. When my prodigal has again broken my heart, he comforts me with his grace and hope. He reminds me that he loves that wanderer more than I do. He assures me that he continues to pursue my loved one's heart. So I'm not the only one chasing after him. I'm not the only one trying to find a way to rescue him. God's in there with me. When I am hurt, he shows me his hands, tells me about the pain of betrayal, and then reminds me that his pain paid the price for

4:10 all of my pain. When I have sinned, he tells me I'm not condemned. I am forgiven. I am washed clean. Then he says to me, as he said to the woman caught in adultery, go and sin no more. When I rejoice, he rejoices. When I laugh, he laughs. When I cry, he cries. Sometimes he asks questions. Something wonderful like, do you know how much I love you, Judy? Or something like, how's your plan working for you? Because I tend to always have a plan.

4:54 And then he says, will you trust me? Sometimes he whispers, you can do this. I will be with you. I will never give up on you, just as I'm not going to give up on my prodigal. Then he adds, there's more, Judy. I have more for you than you could ever ask or imagine. Always he is the answer, the endpoint of our conversation. He offers all of who he is to my every question, my every need, my every despair, and my every hope. He is the answer.

5:41 But I want to, in the rest of this session and in the next couple of times together, I want to look at some different ways that we pray and talk to God and see the different ways we can come to him and he will respond. The first is what I call the lament of a sigh. Sigh. I've been known to do that many times. Often very deep sigh when it had to do with my prodigal, when my prodigal does the same thing that he's done before and he does it again. When I thought we had a good outcome and it became not good at all. When his bad choices require hard choices from me. When my prayers don't seem to accomplish anything.

6:37 A sigh is a lament. It expresses sorrow or yearning or weariness or resignation. When our journey is ongoing and the wilderness is dense and our prodigal keeps making the same poor choices and the pain is weariness. We are deeply sad. So we sigh in resignation, in despair, even in hopelessness. We make a lament which is very biblical. A lament is an elegy or a dirge. It verbalizes our mourning. Many times we are in mourning lamenting the loss of peace and hope and dreams. Scripture has an entire book of laments called Lamentations.

7:36 Lament is a good thing. God is not offended by our tears, our laments, our sighs. He understands. He receives and treasures them. He reaches out to comfort and to encourage. He invites us to rest in him, to transfer our burdens to him, to trust his love and his goodness, which we talked about in our series on trust. He invites us to hope in him. It is then that this wonderful thing happens. My sigh changes. Instead of an expression of sorrow and resignation, it becomes my response to his invitations. A sigh of being understood and accepted, of leaning on him, of snuggling into his arms, of resting in peace and even contentment.

8:46 But sometimes in my journey, just when I thought my sighing was done, it was back. So I kept giving my lament to God and asking him to transfer my sighing from whispers of despair to exhales of trust. That I can just, God's got it. God's got it. Let me share with you another way to pray besides just lament. We can make requests, specific things for our Prodigals. I'm just going to share a few with you. I have lots of them in my book and in the Prayer for Prodigals website that we have. Whether I am praying for my own loved one or someone named on our Prayer for Prodigals site or in response to a tearful parent, I often find I tend to use the same prayers and requests over and over.

9:53 I read the scriptures over and over. Perhaps these seven brief prayers I'm going to read will help you beseech the Lord when you have no idea what to pray. I ask these things in the name of Jesus and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Here are some kinds of requests to make. Lord, capture his heart and his mind. May he grasp how much you love him and how greatly you desire to pour your mercy and grace on him. May his thoughts and desires turn to you in surrender. Convict of sin as you convince her of your love. Yes, Lord, may she recognize her sin as sin and comprehend how that separates her from a relationship with you. But may she then recall that you desire to give grace and mercy, to forgive her sin and draw her back into a loving relationship with you. Remind him of the love he has experienced with his family and with your big family. May people he encounters, words he hears, events he experiences bring to his memory the joy and peace of the times he walked with you and those who love you. Lord, open her eyes to see what you think of her. She is

11:31 beautiful, a work of art made in your image. May she grasp that she is a treasure to you and so reject the words the world hurls at her and her own mind accuses her. May she receive and believe and live out her great worth and value to you. May he realize that you extend open arms of love, mercy, and grace. When he chooses his own way and encounters negative consequences, may he turn and return to the welcome home that you are waiting with.

12:16 Then another one. Break down the strongholds of the enemy of his soul. Hear and answer our requests on his behalf as we resist Satan and rebuke his demons. May our loved one grow weary of his chains and imprisonment and turn to you, asking you to give him liberty. Set him free, Lord. Give her a vision of the person you have made her to be and the good works you have already prepared for her. May she understand that your way is always better than her way. May she remember that you are always working even when her circumstances don't reveal it or feel like it. May she determine to become the person you created her to be and choose to do what you made her to do. So I know those weren't just a sentence, but they're concepts that you can take and pray those kinds of things for your loved one so that the next time your anger rises or fear invades or despair overwhelms, just say to God, let's talk about it. Next week we will talk about more ways to bring our loved ones to God. So think about this. When has your sigh been a lament and when has it become

13:49 surrender and rest? So right now, what would you like to say to God or ask him right now? What would you like to talk to God about? God bless you. Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes. And for more helpful information, resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.