We Need to Talk (episode 33)

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Do you love a prodigal? Do you feel like you are lost in a scary and endless wilderness?

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Welcome to the When You Love a Prodigal podcast. I am Judy Douglass, and I spent more than 15

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years in that wilderness. I believe together we will discover help and hope for your journey.

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So have you figured out the mystery of prayer yet from our conversation last week? Probably

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not. I think until we get to heaven and are with the Lord where He can help us open our

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eyes and move the dark glass away, we might then understand prayer. Until then, we get

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to keep praying and keep believing that God is listening and answering.

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When my oldest grandson was about four and living near me, I often heard these words

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from him. Let's talk about it. Mention anything. Star Wars, the playground, a snack, the latest

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book we'd read, anything. He wanted to talk about it. I find it amazing that any four-year-old

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boy would say, let's talk about it. But he did. And that is exactly what God says to

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us. Let's talk about it, Judy. Let's talk about it to you.

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When I was a young believer in high school, a new friend gave me a life-impacting book.

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It was called Prayer Conversing with God by Rosalyn Rinker. It's still around. Because

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of it, as I was just beginning to walk with God, I learned this transforming truth. Prayer

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is a conversation. It's not just an activity. It's not just the things you do or don't

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do. It is actually a conversation with God. So God speaks and I listen. Does that happen

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in your prayer time? Or I speak and he listens. You know, there are no texts or Instagrams

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or TikTok. We just talk heart to heart. God and I have had many conversations. When I

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have needs or desires, which of course he already knows, he listens to my requests.

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He might answer, sure, let's do that. And there you go. You get the answer. Or he may

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say, that's not the best approach. Or maybe just no. But often he says, wait, be patient.

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And over and over he has said to me, I have a better idea, Judy. When I am confused, he

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listens so patiently. Then he assures me that his wisdom, his mind, his thinking are

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all available to me. Sometimes it will be eternity before I see the whole picture. But

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his words give me what I need. He floods my heart with peace for now. When my prodigal

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has again broken my heart, he comforts me with his grace and hope. He reminds me that

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he loves that wanderer more than I do. He assures me that he continues to pursue my

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loved one's heart. So I'm not the only one chasing after him. I'm not the only one trying

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to find a way to rescue him. God's in there with me. When I am hurt, he shows me his hands,

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tells me about the pain of betrayal, and then reminds me that his pain paid the price for

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all of my pain. When I have sinned, he tells me I'm not condemned. I am forgiven. I am

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washed clean. Then he says to me, as he said to the woman caught in adultery, go and sin

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no more. When I rejoice, he rejoices. When I laugh, he laughs. When I cry, he cries.

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Sometimes he asks questions. Something wonderful like, do you know how much I love you, Judy?

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Or something like, how's your plan working for you? Because I tend to always have a plan.

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And then he says, will you trust me? Sometimes he whispers, you can do this. I will be with

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you. I will never give up on you, just as I'm not going to give up on my prodigal. Then

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he adds, there's more, Judy. I have more for you than you could ever ask or imagine. Always

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he is the answer, the endpoint of our conversation. He offers all of who he is to my every question,

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my every need, my every despair, and my every hope. He is the answer.

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But I want to, in the rest of this session and in the next couple of times together,

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I want to look at some different ways that we pray and talk to God and see the different

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ways we can come to him and he will respond. The first is what I call the lament of a sigh.

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Sigh. I've been known to do that many times. Often very deep sigh when it had to do with

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my prodigal, when my prodigal does the same thing that he's done before and he does it

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again. When I thought we had a good outcome and it became not good at all. When his bad

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choices require hard choices from me. When my prayers don't seem to accomplish anything.

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A sigh is a lament. It expresses sorrow or yearning or weariness or resignation. When

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our journey is ongoing and the wilderness is dense and our prodigal keeps making the

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same poor choices and the pain is weariness. We are deeply sad. So we sigh in resignation,

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in despair, even in hopelessness. We make a lament which is very biblical. A lament

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is an elegy or a dirge. It verbalizes our mourning. Many times we are in mourning lamenting

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the loss of peace and hope and dreams. Scripture has an entire book of laments called Lamentations.

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Lament is a good thing. God is not offended by our tears, our laments, our sighs. He understands.

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He receives and treasures them. He reaches out to comfort and to encourage. He invites

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us to rest in him, to transfer our burdens to him, to trust his love and his goodness,

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which we talked about in our series on trust. He invites us to hope in him. It is then that

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this wonderful thing happens. My sigh changes. Instead of an expression of sorrow and resignation,

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it becomes my response to his invitations. A sigh of being understood and accepted, of

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leaning on him, of snuggling into his arms, of resting in peace and even contentment.

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But sometimes in my journey, just when I thought my sighing was done, it was back. So I kept

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giving my lament to God and asking him to transfer my sighing from whispers of despair

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to exhales of trust. That I can just, God's got it. God's got it.

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Let me share with you another way to pray besides just lament. We can make requests,

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specific things for our Prodigals. I'm just going to share a few with you. I have lots

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of them in my book and in the Prayer for Prodigals website that we have. Whether I am praying

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for my own loved one or someone named on our Prayer for Prodigals site or in response to

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a tearful parent, I often find I tend to use the same prayers and requests over and over.

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I read the scriptures over and over. Perhaps these seven brief prayers I'm going to read

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will help you beseech the Lord when you have no idea what to pray. I ask these things in

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the name of Jesus and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Here are some kinds of requests

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to make. Lord, capture his heart and his mind. May he grasp how much you love him and how

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greatly you desire to pour your mercy and grace on him. May his thoughts and desires

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turn to you in surrender. Convict of sin as you convince her of your love. Yes, Lord,

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may she recognize her sin as sin and comprehend how that separates her from a relationship

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with you. But may she then recall that you desire to give grace and mercy, to forgive

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her sin and draw her back into a loving relationship with you. Remind him of the love he has experienced

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with his family and with your big family. May people he encounters, words he hears,

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events he experiences bring to his memory the joy and peace of the times he walked with

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you and those who love you. Lord, open her eyes to see what you think of her. She is

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beautiful, a work of art made in your image. May she grasp that she is a treasure to you

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and so reject the words the world hurls at her and her own mind accuses her. May she

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receive and believe and live out her great worth and value to you. May he realize that

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you extend open arms of love, mercy, and grace. When he chooses his own way and encounters

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negative consequences, may he turn and return to the welcome home that you are waiting with.

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Then another one. Break down the strongholds of the enemy of his soul. Hear and answer

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our requests on his behalf as we resist Satan and rebuke his demons. May our loved one grow

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weary of his chains and imprisonment and turn to you, asking you to give him liberty. Set

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him free, Lord. Give her a vision of the person you have made her to be and the good works

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you have already prepared for her. May she understand that your way is always better

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than her way. May she remember that you are always working even when her circumstances

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don't reveal it or feel like it. May she determine to become the person you created her to be

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and choose to do what you made her to do. So I know those weren't just a sentence, but

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they're concepts that you can take and pray those kinds of things for your loved one so

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that the next time your anger rises or fear invades or despair overwhelms, just say to

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God, let's talk about it. Next week we will talk about more ways to bring our loved ones

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to God. So think about this. When has your sigh been a lament and when has it become

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surrender and rest? So right now, what would you like to say to God or ask him right now?

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What would you like to talk to God about? God bless you.

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Thank you for joining me today on the When You Love a Prodigal Podcast. If you enjoyed

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today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever

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you listen. Your review helps the show reach more people with the hope and encouragement

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of Jesus. Don't forget, take a look at the show notes. And for more helpful information,

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resources, and books, check out judydouglass.com. That's Douglass with two S's. You can find

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me on Facebook and on Twitter and Instagram at JudyDouglass417. Until next week.