Gifts 4-Giving In, Giving Thanks, episode 91

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If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here at When You Love a Prodigal,

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and also help and hope for your own life journey.

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Today we wrap up our wilderness exploration looking for treasured gifts with two especially helpful gifts.

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Be sure to jot down any ideas you want to try in your wilderness journey so you don't forget.

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I always forget if I don't write it down.

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I am a strong-willed, stubborn person.

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From the beginning, just ask my family. They've agreed easily.

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When I came to Christ at age 15, I made a purposeful exchange.

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I received Christ and His wonderful gift of salvation and eternal life.

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But I also said, God, I choose your way, not mine.

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I thought it was settled until the next day when I discovered there was something that I didn't agree with,

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and I had to stop and choose God's way instead of mine.

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And I realized I would be making this choice for the rest of my life.

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My way or God's way? Sometimes, many times a day.

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And so it has been.

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Apparently my stubborn self-will is deeply ingrained.

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Many times God has waited patiently for me to open my hands to let go of my way.

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Sometimes He has had to apply a small crowbar to my clenched fists to precipitate surrender.

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Loving a prodigal revealed the depth of my desire to have my own way.

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My appeals to God often demanded or cajoled or bartered.

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Surely He would intervene and rescue my son and us from this agonizing journey.

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God listened and received my prayers with love and grace.

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Then He reminded me that He had a better way.

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The children of Israel had a similar problem.

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They were stubborn and self-willed.

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In Isaiah 30, the Lord Himself lays out a litany of their refusal to choose His way,

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of their ongoing rebellion, of their rejection of His plans.

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And then He says these amazing words,

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In repentance and rest you shall be saved.

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In quietness and trust is your strength.

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But you were not willing.

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Not willing.

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Yes, that applied to my prodigal, my rebellious loved one.

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But I believe in this case, God is speaking directly to me.

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I so easily think that I know what is best.

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I still want God to do it my way.

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What I think will be the less painful way, the easiest way.

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I don't want to live with this pain.

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I don't want to lose my child.

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I want to be free from the fear and anxiety and hopelessness.

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But I want to do it my way.

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My fingers are tightly clasped.

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Surrender seems unacceptable.

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But my Father, our Lord, offers rest and repentance, quietness and strength,

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which are just what I need for this journey.

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Slowly I have learned God's way is really better than my way.

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He is patient and determined.

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He wants me to become the person He designed me to be.

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He wants me to be ready to do the good works He has prepared for me.

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And just perhaps this love prodigal who has taken me where I did not want to go,

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who has revealed my own stubbornness, is the means by which God will accomplish His good purposes in me.

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Am I willing? Are you willing?

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Have you thought about the fact that this prodigal journey is as much about you as it is about your loved one?

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It took me a while to learn that.

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I promise you, opening your hands, surrendering, saying, yes, I'm willing, Lord,

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will bring amazing results in your life and probably in the life of your prodigal as well.

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So the final gift that I want to talk about to be found in this wilderness that we're in is the gift of gratitude.

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You know, the same has been true with all my children and now my grandchildren.

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Whenever someone does something for a child, the parent says, what do you say?

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The correct answer, of course, is thank you.

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We humans aren't naturally grateful.

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It takes years of training for us to remember to say thank you when someone is kind or helpful or generous to us.

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We've just gone through a list of six amazing gifts that God has given us through our prodigals.

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Mercy, love, grace, prayer, perseverance, surrender, making your prodigal and mine the perfect gift for us

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because God does wonderful work in our lives through this journey.

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So isn't it right to say thank you to the giver of this magnificent gift?

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Although it's challenging, it's really true.

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Our prodigal is a gift to us and gratitude becomes our seventh gift in the wilderness.

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God has observed, however, that we are just like children.

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He knows he must remind us often to say thank you.

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But he takes it a lot further.

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He says we are to give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

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All circumstances.

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And there we have it.

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The difficult command we have pondered when we talked about rest and again later when we talked about trust.

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He wants us to thank him all the time in every circumstance.

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We've already acknowledged that thanking him is easy when we like the circumstances of our lives,

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when we are healthy or have a good job, delight in loving relationships, have happy children,

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feel accepted and loved, experience success, receive a desired surprise.

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At that time, the key is just to remember God is the giver of all good things and to express our gratitude.

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But when health is threatened, a job is lost, a relationship is broken, children are making destructive choices,

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loneliness and rejection abound, success is elusive and surprises are not the desired ones.

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How? How can we say thank you, Lord?

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But God asks us to.

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So we open ourselves to learn how this is possible, how we can be motivated to even try thankfulness in hard times.

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I have previously shared three wonderful things that happen when I say thank you, Lord.

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My focus changes, my trust expands and doors open.

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This is so important for our survival and even peace in the prodigal wilderness that I want to further,

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briefly develop each of these thoughts.

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First, my focus changes to God himself.

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Not just looking at the problem, the thing that I don't like, the bad decisions that our prodigals make.

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Giving thanks acknowledges to God that he is God and he is good.

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Now, he knows that, but we need to be reminded of it.

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When life's circumstances are challenging and yet I choose to say thank you, Lord,

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I am saying to my heavenly Father, I know you are God.

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I am recognizing that he is El Elyon, the Most High God.

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He is El Shaddai, the Almighty.

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He is sovereign and over all and in control.

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But when life seems unfair or painful, confusing, scary, it is also important to remember that he is good.

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Just look at these assurances of God's goodness.

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From Jeremiah 32, it says, I will make an everlasting covenant with them.

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I will never stop doing good to them.

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And I will inspire them to fear me, to respect me, so that they will never turn away from me.

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I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.

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Is that a promise?

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Wow!

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I'll never stop doing you good and your prodigal.

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Here's another verse from Psalm 34.

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Taste and see that the Lord is good.

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Blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

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And another Psalm 100, for the Lord is good and his love endures forever.

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His faithfulness continues through all generations.

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And in Psalm 145, the Lord is good to all.

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He has compassion on all that he has made.

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He has compassion on you and me and on those we love.

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So first of all, I just get a bigger picture of God when I recognize that he is God and he is good.

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And saying thank you is acknowledging that.

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Second, my trust expands.

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Giving thanks expresses trust in God.

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As we increasingly experience God's godness and his goodness, we find our hearts and minds are more and more able to trust him.

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Fear, we have fear, don't we?

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Of all the uncertainties and concerns of life erodes our trust.

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We find it harder to believe that God loves us and wants good for us.

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Learning to say thank you, even amidst pain and loss, restores our trust.

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We can go forward with confidence that we know who holds our future.

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And he knows, he cares, and he is able in every situation.

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So we recognize that God is God and he is good.

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That causes my trust in him to grow.

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And then this amazing thing happens.

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It's like that is a key to open doors for God to work.

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Giving thanks opens opportunities for God to accomplish his heart's desires.

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For me, for you, for your prodigal, I found that when hard circumstances restrain my gratitude,

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it's as though I'm holding tightly to the key to my heart and the key to my circumstances.

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But when I thank God, even when I don't feel thankful, it is like I hand him the key to the locked door.

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With that thank you key, he opens my eyes to begin to see the good that he is doing.

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Small though it may appear at first, he opens my mind to accept that his goodness will prevail

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over time, if not immediately.

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And that key opens my heart to restore trust that this all-powerful God is truly acting in love and compassion for me.

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These three wonderful things have happened more and more frequently as I have intentionally practiced thanking God,

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as I have endeavored to make it a habit to grow a truly grateful heart.

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I've worked on it over the years in everything I do, wherever I am, with whomever is watching.

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I know some of this attitude has transferred to my children, which just sends my heart soaring.

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One of my favorite examples of this is the following story about our prodigal.

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When our son joined our family at almost 10 years old, life had dealt him some really hard blows.

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Gratitude was not in him.

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We worked hard to teach him gratitude in general and especially toward God, even in hard times.

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It took a while, but slowly thanks became part of his vocabulary and even resided in his heart.

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For many years, Josh worked at landscaping and once, while he was trimming a hedge by a fence with a chainsaw,

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the saw hit the fence and kicked back against his head, barely missing his eye and leaving a pretty nasty gash.

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It turned out it wasn't very deep and he was going to be okay.

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When I got to the hospital and asked how he was, he said,

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it hurts a lot, especially when they were cleaning it out.

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But the first thing I did after I cut my head open was call 911.

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And the next thing I did was say, thank you, Lord.

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Wow, it really was catching to be able to give thanks in everything and to see your children,

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even your prodigal, began to grab hold of that and practice it.

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Again, I thank God for the gift of my prodigal.

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I have learned so much through him and through this journey.

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I hope you will join me in saying it for your loved one.

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Thank you, God, for the incredible gift you have given me in my prodigal, in my loved one.

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Can you do that?

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Can you thank God for this journey?

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Let me ask you some questions.

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You might want to jot down your answers or tell Siri to.

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How might the gift of surrender, your surrender to God, ease your journey in the wilderness of loving a prodigal?

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How would giving in to God and believing that he's good and that he really is God and he loves you,

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how would that help your journey with your loved one?

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When did you realize that God's purposes for your prodigal were equally about you or have you yet?

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Let me tell you, it's true.

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Your prodigal, God is paying attention to and caring for and reaching out to,

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but he's using this wilderness journey to do a great work in your heart and mind and life.

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Can you name some of the ways that your loved one has been a gift to you?

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I hope you can.

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Think through.

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Look at what we've talked about.

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What could help you say thank you more consistently?

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I pray that God will really help you to trust that he is truly God and truly good

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and totally committed to you and your loved one with his goodness and love and compassion

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and that you'll be able to thank him.

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God bless you.