Treasures in the Wilderness 3: True Love Blesses, Not Curses, episode 71

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If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here at When You Love a Prodigal.

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And also help and hope for your own life journey.

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Today, in our third look at Treasures in the Wilderness, we will focus on unconditional love and blessing, not cursing.

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As you listen, note when you have put conditions on your love or spoken negative words to your prodigal.

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Love is more than just a word. Love is not just a noun, it is a verb. And that means love happens in action.

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If you have been listening to these podcasts, you know our prodigal was a boy that God sent to us when he was almost 10.

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Knowing all the struggles he and we had, you might say that we really loved this boy to stick with him.

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We provided for his needs, encouraged his growth and development, introduced him to life-expanding people and opportunities,

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spent time with him, but he didn't believe us. What he had known in his early life was abandonment.

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The people who mattered to him had not been able to convince him that he mattered to them.

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So he built a wall of protection around his heart and our loving actions couldn't break through.

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Then one night, God gave me a vision. He was holding a giant vat, which he was beginning to pour into me.

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I asked him what it was. God said it was his love for Josh, for this boy. He was sharing his love with me.

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And he added, and you're going to need it. That night, as God poured his love for our son into me,

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I fell in love with our son in a much deeper way. And he became more than just a boy God had given us or sent to us.

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He was born in my heart as my son, and I began to wish that he would, could love me.

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I suggested as much to God. I think he must have smiled as he replied,

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didn't he? Remember the definition of unconditional? There are no conditions.

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Unconditional love does not require love in return or any other conditions.

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So I kept loving, usually seeking nothing in return. When 12 years had passed, I finally heard my son say, I love you.

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rejoiced. Those words come often now and I'm very grateful, but I am also grateful

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for a small grasping of God's unconditional love for me and that he

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wants that love to flow through me to others. Our loved prodigals often forget

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who has loved them and how to love in return. Sometimes we do put conditions on

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our love and that can drive them away. God calls us to do as he has done, to

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love with no conditions, but God demonstrates his own love for us while

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we were still sinners. Christ died for us. That's hard to live that out for us

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sometimes. He didn't wait till we've got good, made better choices, turned our

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lives around before he was willing to pay the price for us. And our Lord intends

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for that amazing self-sacrificing love that he has poured out on us to flow

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through to our prodigals. What a privilege. It's not up to us to manufacture

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the love and care and concern for these ones we love. No. God says, I'm giving you

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my love. I'm giving you my compassion. I'm giving you my courage and strength,

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whatever it takes to not give up as we talked about last week. Do you see it,

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this treasure in the wilderness? God's unconditional love for us and for our

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loved ones. What a treasure. But there's more. Life is hard for our prodigals.

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Their lives are most often filled with fear, failure, and frustration. Yes, much

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of it is of their own making. They brought it on themselves. But those of us

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who love a prodigal are also filled with fear, failure, and frustration. In our

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efforts to rescue and restore those loved wanderers, we practice tough love

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and set strict boundaries and sometimes speak discouraging words. I know I have.

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They often feel unloved and unwanted. Often there are others who communicate

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with harsh words, hurtful words that multiply the sense of fear, failure, and

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frustration. They have teachers, coaches, friends, family, employers, police officers,

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judges, probation officers. The words spoken by these people are usually

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purposeful, but too often they come straight from the enemy hurling curses

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seeking to destroy. I spent more than 15 years in the wilderness with our

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prodigal and have walked with many others on a similar journey. I know these

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wayward ones need boundaries and consequences and firm words to help them

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come to their senses, redirect their lives, even to keep them from destroying

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themselves. But I also know they need, and more readily respond to, words of love,

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acceptance, encouragement, and hope. I have found that my words and prayers of

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blessings straight from God's Word can many times lead to turning, to change,

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even to transformation. So join me as we recognize the messages our loved ones

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often receive, words that discourage, affirm their failures, and enshroud them

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in curses. Then absorb the words our God speaks, whispers, or even shouts to them,

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let's turn curses into blessings. So they hear often, you can't do anything right.

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God says, may you be built up, not torn down, planted, not uprooted. May you

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return to God with all your heart. Or they hear you failed again, whether it's

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school or a job or just doing the chores they were supposed to do. You failed

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again. But God says, may you rise when you fall and come out of the darkness into

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God's light. I like that. Or they've heard, you will never amount to anything.

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People actually say that to their own prodigals or to someone else. You're

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never gonna be anything. In Ephesians we read, may you hope in the future of God's

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good plans for you. And sometimes they get told, God will punish you for what

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you have done. Jeremiah tells us, may you comprehend that it gives God joy to

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always do good to you. It's all through the word of God. When people say, you're

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hopeless. Yeah, we say that sometimes. I've given up hope. Ezekiel says, may you

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receive the new heart and new spirit God is giving you. Some are told, you are such

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a loser. And Joel says, may all the days and years of your life stolen by the

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evil one be restored. You're not gonna lose it all. It's gonna be restored. I've

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heard this said, you make it hard for anyone to love you. Well actually that's

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true a lot of times. They do make it hard for us to love them. Oseus says, I love

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this too. May you feel cords of loving kindness as the Father bends down to

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feed you. What a loving encouraging picture of God. Wrapping cords of loving

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kindness around you and reaching down, bending down to feed you. Ah yes, you're

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going to spend your life in prison. We have said about our boy a number of times,

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not to him, but about him. The only future we saw at the worst of times was he would

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either end up in prison or dead. I don't think we ever actually said it to him.

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Romans tells us, may you know that in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation.

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There's another couple here. I love this one too. Zephaniah 3, when you are here,

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this is what people say to them. When you're here, our home is a war zone and

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we experience that. But Zephaniah tells us, may you hear the love song God is

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singing to you. Even in the midst of chaos and turmoil and conflict, God says,

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I love you, I love you, I love you. Oh, I wouldn't say this, but some do. Even God

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couldn't love you. But Romans 8 says that's not true. May you be convinced

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that nothing can separate you from the love of God. When we speak harsh things,

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condemnation, curses, that's what they are. We're speaking curses to them and God

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says, oh no, don't do that. The devil's throwing curses, other people will do it.

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You be the ones that keep loving them. And he says in Luke, he invites us, bless

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those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Even when our loved ones,

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our prodigals are hurtful to us, lie to us, they steal from us, they do the

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things they do, destroy our home, wreck our car. He says don't curse them, bless

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them. Paul admonishes us, bless those who persecute you, bless them and do not

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curse them. What a treasure, our love is revealed, the love that God has put in us

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to shed on our prodigals, to let it flow through us. He says our love is revealed

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as we choose to bless, not curse. Will you join me in praying blessings over the

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prodigal you love? Every time the negative starts to come from your mouth,

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even if it's true, you choose not to curse, you choose to bless, to show love.

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God will turn it into what he does in their lives. The words we speak have power

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in their lives. We need to speak words of love and blessing. So something for you

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to think about, have you put conditions on your love for your prodigal,

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requirements to meet before you can give love to them? Let God show you how to

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love unconditionally. And have your words to your loved ones sometimes been curses

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rather than blessings? What negative words do you speak frequently? How could

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you turn those into blessings? God bless you.