Treasures in the Wilderness 3: True Love Blesses, Not Curses, episode 71

0:00 If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your wilderness journey right here at When You Love a Prodigal. And also help and hope for your own life journey. Today, in our third look at Treasures in the Wilderness, we will focus on unconditional love and blessing, not cursing. As you listen, note when you have put conditions on your love or spoken negative words to your prodigal. Love is more than just a word. Love is not just a noun, it is a verb. And that means love happens in action.

0:47 If you have been listening to these podcasts, you know our prodigal was a boy that God sent to us when he was almost 10. Knowing all the struggles he and we had, you might say that we really loved this boy to stick with him. We provided for his needs, encouraged his growth and development, introduced him to life-expanding people and opportunities, spent time with him, but he didn't believe us. What he had known in his early life was abandonment. The people who mattered to him had not been able to convince him that he mattered to them.

1:29 So he built a wall of protection around his heart and our loving actions couldn't break through. Then one night, God gave me a vision. He was holding a giant vat, which he was beginning to pour into me. I asked him what it was. God said it was his love for Josh, for this boy. He was sharing his love with me. And he added, and you're going to need it. That night, as God poured his love for our son into me, I fell in love with our son in a much deeper way. And he became more than just a boy God had given us or sent to us.

2:15 He was born in my heart as my son, and I began to wish that he would, could love me. I suggested as much to God. I think he must have smiled as he replied, didn't he? Remember the definition of unconditional? There are no conditions. Unconditional love does not require love in return or any other conditions. So I kept loving, usually seeking nothing in return. When 12 years had passed, I finally heard my son say, I love you.

2:57 rejoiced. Those words come often now and I'm very grateful, but I am also grateful for a small grasping of God's unconditional love for me and that he wants that love to flow through me to others. Our loved prodigals often forget who has loved them and how to love in return. Sometimes we do put conditions on our love and that can drive them away. God calls us to do as he has done, to love with no conditions, but God demonstrates his own love for us while we were still sinners. Christ died for us. That's hard to live that out for us sometimes. He didn't wait till we've got good, made better choices, turned our lives around before he was willing to pay the price for us. And our Lord intends for that amazing self-sacrificing love that he has poured out on us to flow through to our prodigals. What a privilege. It's not up to us to manufacture the love and care and concern for these ones we love. No. God says, I'm giving you my love. I'm giving you my compassion. I'm giving you my courage and strength,

4:30 whatever it takes to not give up as we talked about last week. Do you see it, this treasure in the wilderness? God's unconditional love for us and for our loved ones. What a treasure. But there's more. Life is hard for our prodigals. Their lives are most often filled with fear, failure, and frustration. Yes, much of it is of their own making. They brought it on themselves. But those of us who love a prodigal are also filled with fear, failure, and frustration. In our efforts to rescue and restore those loved wanderers, we practice tough love and set strict boundaries and sometimes speak discouraging words. I know I have.

5:25 They often feel unloved and unwanted. Often there are others who communicate with harsh words, hurtful words that multiply the sense of fear, failure, and frustration. They have teachers, coaches, friends, family, employers, police officers, judges, probation officers. The words spoken by these people are usually purposeful, but too often they come straight from the enemy hurling curses seeking to destroy. I spent more than 15 years in the wilderness with our prodigal and have walked with many others on a similar journey. I know these wayward ones need boundaries and consequences and firm words to help them come to their senses, redirect their lives, even to keep them from destroying themselves. But I also know they need, and more readily respond to, words of love, acceptance, encouragement, and hope. I have found that my words and prayers of blessings straight from God's Word can many times lead to turning, to change, even to transformation. So join me as we recognize the messages our loved ones often receive, words that discourage, affirm their failures, and enshroud them

6:58 in curses. Then absorb the words our God speaks, whispers, or even shouts to them, let's turn curses into blessings. So they hear often, you can't do anything right. God says, may you be built up, not torn down, planted, not uprooted. May you return to God with all your heart. Or they hear you failed again, whether it's school or a job or just doing the chores they were supposed to do. You failed again. But God says, may you rise when you fall and come out of the darkness into God's light. I like that. Or they've heard, you will never amount to anything.

7:53 People actually say that to their own prodigals or to someone else. You're never gonna be anything. In Ephesians we read, may you hope in the future of God's good plans for you. And sometimes they get told, God will punish you for what you have done. Jeremiah tells us, may you comprehend that it gives God joy to always do good to you. It's all through the word of God. When people say, you're hopeless. Yeah, we say that sometimes. I've given up hope. Ezekiel says, may you receive the new heart and new spirit God is giving you. Some are told, you are such a loser. And Joel says, may all the days and years of your life stolen by the evil one be restored. You're not gonna lose it all. It's gonna be restored. I've heard this said, you make it hard for anyone to love you. Well actually that's true a lot of times. They do make it hard for us to love them. Oseus says, I love this too. May you feel cords of loving kindness as the Father bends down to

9:28 feed you. What a loving encouraging picture of God. Wrapping cords of loving kindness around you and reaching down, bending down to feed you. Ah yes, you're going to spend your life in prison. We have said about our boy a number of times, not to him, but about him. The only future we saw at the worst of times was he would either end up in prison or dead. I don't think we ever actually said it to him. Romans tells us, may you know that in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation.

10:14 There's another couple here. I love this one too. Zephaniah 3, when you are here, this is what people say to them. When you're here, our home is a war zone and we experience that. But Zephaniah tells us, may you hear the love song God is singing to you. Even in the midst of chaos and turmoil and conflict, God says, I love you, I love you, I love you. Oh, I wouldn't say this, but some do. Even God couldn't love you. But Romans 8 says that's not true. May you be convinced that nothing can separate you from the love of God. When we speak harsh things, condemnation, curses, that's what they are. We're speaking curses to them and God says, oh no, don't do that. The devil's throwing curses, other people will do it.

11:23 You be the ones that keep loving them. And he says in Luke, he invites us, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Even when our loved ones, our prodigals are hurtful to us, lie to us, they steal from us, they do the things they do, destroy our home, wreck our car. He says don't curse them, bless them. Paul admonishes us, bless those who persecute you, bless them and do not curse them. What a treasure, our love is revealed, the love that God has put in us to shed on our prodigals, to let it flow through us. He says our love is revealed as we choose to bless, not curse. Will you join me in praying blessings over the prodigal you love? Every time the negative starts to come from your mouth, even if it's true, you choose not to curse, you choose to bless, to show love.

12:36 God will turn it into what he does in their lives. The words we speak have power in their lives. We need to speak words of love and blessing. So something for you to think about, have you put conditions on your love for your prodigal, requirements to meet before you can give love to them? Let God show you how to love unconditionally. And have your words to your loved ones sometimes been curses rather than blessings? What negative words do you speak frequently? How could you turn those into blessings? God bless you.